by Whitley Cox
“Atlas Stark,” Liam said solemnly. “He works at my firm. Lost his wife in October.”
Mark shut his eyes. “Fuck.”
“Daughter is Aria.”
Mark’s eyes opened. “Aria Stark?”
Twin dimples on Liam’s cheeks winked. “Claims they’d never heard of Game of Thrones when they named her. Spelling is different too.”
A tug on Tori’s shirt had her looking down to find Gabe staring up at her, a red block in his hand. He pulled harder and pointed at his tower in the corner section of the big, fancy dining room near what had clearly been designated as the “play area.” She took his hand and went willingly.
Soon she was sitting on the floor, surrounded by children, Gabe firmly in her lap as she read story after story, and the smaller children brought her toys or random pieces of train track. She knew all the men were watching her. Were they judging her too? Appraising her and whether she was worthy of Mark? Worthy of Gabe? The question was, when they reported back to Mark, would he take their review of her into consideration? Was her relationship with him, her happiness riding on this night?
A bigger lump, closer to the size of a watermelon than a golf ball, lodged in her gut. Her job, her relationship and her fresh start seemed to all be riding on these men and what they thought of her.
It was the interview of a lifetime.
She just hoped she made it through without spinach in her teeth.
They’d been at the party for about an hour when a big man, with thick thighs and dark red hair, came down to where she was sitting with the kids and offered her a small plate of food.
“Thought you might want something to eat,” he said with a smile, handing her the plate. “As well as some adult conversation.”
She thanked him, diving into the potato chips like she hadn’t eaten in days.
“I’m Zak, by the way.” He stuck out his hand.
She took it. “Tori.”
“You’re great with the kids.”
She finished chewing before replying. “Thanks. I work with kids with special needs. I love it.”
His blue eyes went wide. “That’s awesome. What made you get into that?”
“I worked as a camp counselor for children with special needs one summer. Fell in love with it.”
He shook his head with a big, wide grin. “Isn’t it great when you find your calling like that? When it just hits you like a flyball?”
She laughed. That was one way to put it. “What do you do? Baseball coach by any chance?”
Zak’s grin remained big and genuine. “Not professionally. But I coach Aiden’s baseball team. I own and run Club Z Fitness.”
Tori’s eyes went wide. “I love that gym. That’s where I used to go.”
“Used to?” His dark, thick, ruddy-colored brow lifted up just a touch.
Tori grimaced. “Fell on hard times, had to end the membership. Sorry.”
“Ah, we can’t have that. I’ll hook you up.”
They both started to laugh.
She appreciated someone coming over to talk to her. So far, the dads had all just treated her like a babysitter, and truth be told, it was getting a little annoying. Even Mark had pretty much abandoned her to the kiddie corner and been chatting it up with his bros out by the barbecue.
Zak followed where Tori was looking. “You’re the first woman to join our little club,” he said quietly.
She slowly let her gaze drop from where she was watching Mark and travel back to Zak’s handsome face. “I’m not in your club.”
He made a face that said he didn’t quite agree. “You know what I mean. You’re the first woman to be introduced to any of us as a girlfriend. As a significant other.”
At the moment, she wasn’t feeling overly significant to Mark. He hadn’t said a damn word to her in over an hour.
“He doesn’t know how to act,” Zak said. “Don’t let him get away with it, but also just know, he is crazy about you. Talks about you all the time during poker nights.”
Tori pursed her lips together. “Yeah, well, you could have fooled me.”
“Hey Mark!” Zak hollering across the room made Tori jump. “Quit ignoring your woman and treating her like a babysitter and get in here and give her some attention. Introduce her to the group and be a good boyfriend.”
Mark’s eyes outside grew fierce, but Zak didn’t cower one little bit. He was grinning big time, as were many of the other dads.
Tori made to slap him on the arm, but instead he grabbed her hand, linked their fingers together and then kissed the back of her hand. “And if you don’t treat her well, someone else might swoop in and steal her.”
Tori’s face was on fire, but it looked like Mark’s head was going to explode.
She liked Zak.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Mark asked as they all climbed into his car. “Not nearly as painful as I’m sure you were expecting it to be.”
Tori buckled her belt, her head a little fuzzy from the incredible wine Liam kept filling her glass with. Had the glass ever been truly empty? She managed to shoot Mark a skeptical look though. “Once you stopped ignoring me and apologized, no, not as painful as I thought. It was still awkward though.”
Mark finished buckling Gabe into his car seat, then swung his big frame behind the wheel and turned on the ignition. “Awkward how?”
She shook her head and watched Liam’s house disappear as they drove away. “I just felt like all your friends were judging me. Waiting for me to say something wrong or mess up in some way so that I could prove their theory that all women are garbage. All of them except Zak, that is. He was great.”
Mark made a noise in his throat. “Yeah, Zak’s a real peach.” He tossed on the brakes harder than normal. They were at a stop sign though, so it’s not like he did it mid-traffic. “Did one of them tell you he thinks all women are garbage?” He pivoted in his seat to face her, his eyes wide, his mouth open in shock.
She rolled her own eyes and instead turned away from him to stare straight ahead. “You can go.”
He shifted out of first and they drove on.
“Nobody said all women are garbage, but isn’t that what your poker nights are about? Where you get together and bash your exes? Bash women.”
“No. Not at all.”
She didn’t believe him.
“It’s where we go to be something other than an ex-husband, other than a father, other than whatever our job is. There are countless resources out there for single mothers, working mothers, stay-at-home mothers. Facebook groups, drop-in centers, support groups. There’s nothing out there for single fathers. Sure, there are more single mothers out there, more women with full or joint custody where the dad is just with the kids on weekends, but full-time single dads do exist. But we’re not supported. Liam wanted to change that. Yes, we discuss our exes, to a certain degree, but we never bash them. They are the mothers of our children. To bash our exes would mean to bash fifty percent of our own children. At one point in time, we loved those women, wanted to create a family with them, so no matter what shit they’ve put us through, they’re not garbage, as you put it. We gripe, we bitch, we moan, but we don’t women-bash. Never.”
Well now she really did feel like garbage.
“Some men, like Liam, Zak, Scottt and Emmett, are a little jaded. They were put through the wringer, particularly when it came to custody. They wanted to be more than just weekend dads, and their ex-wives made their lives hell over it. They’re not looking for love … right now. But that doesn’t mean they hate women. That doesn’t mean they hate love. Well, maybe Liam … ” he trailed off. “But that definitely doesn’t mean they hate you or think you, or any woman, is garbage.”
He reached for her hand and placed his big palm over the top of hers, threading their fingers together. “They all seemed to really like you, if it’s any consolation. You were a huge hit with their kids, which goes a long way. And eventually they all warmed up and I saw you chatting with all of them.
Some of them more than others. Fucking Zak,” he grumbled.
“Everyone except Emmett.” Her chest felt tight.
“His divorce is still raw. His ex-wife’s new man is a tool. Emmett’s daughter hates the guy, which is making Emmett’s life hard. He’s projecting a bit. He’s also just looking out for me and Gabe. It’s not that he doesn’t like you; it’s that he’s protective. He’ll come around.”
She wasn’t so sure. It was almost as if Emmett had gone out of his way to avoid talking to her at the party. He hadn’t come up to her at all, and when she made a comment about how she used to gnaw on her parents’ steak bones when she was a baby, all the other men laughed—except him.
Emmett was one of Mark’s best friends. If he didn’t like her, would Mark take that as a sign? Her heart was still too raw to go through another tumultuous breakup.
Should she end things with Mark before he ended it with her? Protect her heart?
You’re overthinking things again—cut it out!
It was too late for her heart anyway. She was already in with both feet, head over heels for the man, her chest tightened even more.
She loved him.
She loved him so much.
She loved Gabe. She loved her new life and that it included both of them. Gabe was so much more than a job. He’d captured her heart, and every day she spent with him, she fell deeper under his spell. She couldn’t imagine having to give either of them up.
“Gabe’s asleep,” he said. “You want to come over for a bit? I can order you an Uber to take you home later.” He took her hand. “I’m really sorry again for tonight. I was wrong for leaving you with the kids. You weren’t there as a babysitter, and I shouldn’t have left you on your own like that.” His thumb grazed her knuckles. “Do you forgive me? Are you going to leave me for the muscly redheaded man?”
Tori’s lips twisted in thought. “I dunno. If I date Zak, I get a free gym membership out of it.”
With a growl that made heat bloom in her core, he tugged her forward and captured her mouth with his. Their tongues tangoed and lips sucked. The man was one hell of a kisser.
Tori knew she should just have him take her home. She had a lot of thinking to do. A lot of overthinking, as was her M.O. She’d dissect her and Mark’s relationship until it was spread out into a thousand pieces, then she’d scrutinize every single part until she convinced herself that breaking up with him was the most logical thing to do.
It’s what she always did.
Maybe that’s why the end of her marriage had been so hard. It wasn’t just that she was blindsided and cheated on. It was that for the first time in her life, Tori had been the one getting dumped. Her entire dating life, she’d been the one doing the dumping. Always ending it with the guy before things got too serious, all because she’d analyzed their relationship to death and ultimately decided they weren’t the perfect match.
It’d taken her sister knocking some sense into her and telling her to just let love take its course to make her stay with Ken as long as she did. Even then, she could recall at least half a dozen times she’d resigned herself to breaking up with him, only to have her sister or someone else convince her she was being ridiculous and that he wasn’t that bad of a guy—boy, had they been wrong. The night he proposed, out for dinner at Pom, their favorite restaurant on the water, she was getting ready to break up with him. Instead he got down on one knee.
She should have ended it then.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
Should she listen to her gut now? Or her heart? Because her gut was telling her to have Mark take her home, but her heart was saying otherwise. Her heart wanted to spend as much time with him as she could.
He pulled away, his eyelids hooded, his eyes filled with lust.
Tori licked her lips. “Sure. I’ll come stay for a bit.”
Her heart was an idiot.
12
“Wine?” Mark asked, wandering into the living room after putting Gabe down for the night.
“It’s on the counter in the kitchen. Just decanted it.”
“Ooh, did you raid my wine wall?”
Her smile was small. “Perhaps. Nothing too pricey though.” She’d curled her legs up under her and had her hands between her thighs. It was if she was trying to be as small as she could. She’d been quiet the rest of the drive back to Mark’s place, her mind somewhere else.
It made Mark wonder if any of the guys had said something to her. Had Emmett? He promised Mark he would leave Tori alone.
Mark knew his friend had reservations about Mark’s relationship with Tori, knew how he felt about Gabe being in the mix of it all, but he also knew his friend wasn’t a complete jackass and wouldn’t say anything to hurt Tori. At least he hoped he knew his friend.
He wandered into the kitchen and poured them each a glass of the 2016 cab sav from California. One of his faves.
“You’re not too buzzed from Liam’s wine?” he asked, handing Tori her glass. “From the looks of things, your glass was never empty.”
She took a sip and let the wine sit on her tongue for a moment before answering him. “It wasn’t. The man is a very generous and astute host.”
“That he is.”
He sat down next to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, loving the way her bright red sweater made her blue eyes pop.
She stared down at her lap into her wineglass.
She was back inside her head again, just like she’d been on the drive.
He cupped her cheek and urged her to lift her head and look at him. She did. “What’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours?”
Shutting her eyes for just a second, she exhaled, her entire body seeming to shrink and crumple with that one breath. “What are we doing, Mark?”
“Drinking wine and cuddling on the couch?”
She shook her head. “No, us. What are we doing?”
Fuck, he was afraid of this conversation. Couldn’t she just let them continue to be as they were? They had a good thing going, didn’t they?
“I’m glad I came to the barbecue tonight and got to meet your friends, but that’s the first time we’ve been out as a couple. That just seems wrong to me. We’re not dating, we’re … fucking. Fucking and drinking wine. Fucking and having dinner after you come home from work. I’m a glorified nanny and housekeeper with some sexy perks on the side.”
Mark removed his hand from the side of her face and ran it into his hair, tugging on the ends. “Why do we have to be more? Aren’t you happy with what we have now?”
“What we have now is a fantasy. It’s not real.”
“What we have isn’t real?” He was starting to get his back up. She wanted more from him than he could give. Why couldn’t she just be happy with what he could give her, instead of always wanting more?
“I don’t know. I mean … where do you see us in six months? In a year? In two years? Doing the exact same thing we are now? Me watching your kid, doing therapy with your kid, cooking you dinner and then warming your bed, but only for a few hours, because we don’t want Gabe to get the wrong idea.” She rolled her eyes before looking away.
“You don’t have kids. You don’t know what it’s like,” he blurted out, immediately regretting it when he saw the hurt in her eyes.
“You’re right. I don’t.”
“Do you want kids? Do you want to get married again someday?”
Her bottom lip wobbled, and she took a deep breath. “Maybe. I’ve never outright dismissed the idea of having children. My career was always my main focus. I just figured kids would follow eventually.” She turned to face him again. “Do you?”
He knew this conversation would come up eventually. He’d just hoped they could delay it as long as possible. He shook his head. “I don’t want any more children. Gabe is a handful, and we’re pretty sure ASD runs in my side of the family, so it’s possible another child would be born with a similar diagnosis. Maybe worse, you never know.”
She wrinkled
her nose. “That’s not a bad thing. I would love a child whether they had ASD or not.”
And that’s why he fucking loved this woman.
“Yes, I know you would. But it’s still a lot of work, and … ” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “It already ruined my first marriage. Cheyenne couldn’t handle Gabe, couldn’t handle his diagnosis, his outbursts, his behavior.”
Her sapphire eyes went wide, then she narrowed her brows in a frown that still made her as sexy as hell. “You blame him for the end of your marriage?”
Mark took a sip of his wine. This was not at all how he saw this evening going. He’d hoped they would be naked in his bed by now, not having an intense and heated conversation. “I don’t blame Gabe. The marriage had an expiration on it. It wouldn’t have mattered if he was neurotypical or not. Cheyenne eventually would have found a reason to leave. I know that now. But maybe she’d have stuck around and been a parent to him if he didn’t have his diagnosis.”
“I wouldn’t abandon our child!” She stood up, stumbling a bit, so she put her wineglass on the coffee table. “You’re lumping me in with your ex because all women are the same, right?”
“I’m not lumping you in with anybody. I’m just saying that I don’t want any more children.”
“What about marriage?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then what the hell are we doing, Mark?” She tossed her hands in the air and went to stand in front of the window. “Fucking around? Because although I’m putting my education and career first right now, regaining my independence and getting my life back on track, one day I think I would like to get married again and possibly have children.”
He stood up and went to her, but she pushed him away shaking her head. Anger, as well as the wine in her system glimmered in her eyes.
“I’m tired of sneaking around. I told you that. I’m tired of acting like what we’re doing is wrong. I signed that agreement you gave me a few weeks ago, stating that I was entering this willingly and you were not coercing me into a sexual relationship with you in any way. You’re covered. I won’t be going hashtag Metoo and dragging your name through the mud on social media. But I want more.”