The Better Mom Devotional

by Ruth Schwenk

  • In what ways have your children’s friendships been a blessing? In what areas are you concerned for their friendships?

  • What are a few things you can begin doing with your kids to help protect them from foolish friends?

  Everyday Mission

  Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

  —1 PETER 2:12

  Since we moved to a new neighborhood last year, my husband and I have been intentional about taking walks. We wanted opportunities to talk to neighbors we hadn’t met. We have been amazed at the conversations God has opened for us and the friendships that have already been formed. Through these simple walks, God has led to us to open our home and invite neighbors over for dinner.

  Every day is full of ordinary opportunities to do something for God. Take a minute and think about all the daily activities you do, things like walking the dog, playing with your children, eating meals, working out, and going to the store. How can you use some of these everyday opportunities for God?

  God wants to use each of us as moms in everyday, ordinary ways right where He has us in this season of life. Living on mission and influencing others can happen in our neighborhoods, workplaces, or homes or at our children’s sports practices or coffee shops. The opportunities are truly endless.

  In 1 Peter 2:12, we are reminded to live “such good lives” among our friends, family members, coworkers, and neighbors who don’t know Jesus. There is something about our lives, our love, our families, or our marriages, that can put God on display for others to see. Our “good deeds” are good opportunities for non-Christians to see how good our God is.

  Consider how you approach ordinary daily activities so God can use you. How can you live such a good life that others begin to see how good God is? Be intentional. Get creative. Take a risk. Then watch what God does!

  Father, I want to live every day with purpose. This season of motherhood is unique and sometimes difficult, but I want to use it for You. Give me eyes to see how some of my ordinary and daily activities can be opportunities to influence others for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What is one regular motherhood activity that you can transform into an opportunity to influence others?

  • What are one or two good deeds that you or your family can do to put God on display?

  Don’t Waste the Wait

  We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name.

  —PSALM 33:20–21

  Have you ever noticed that there’s a lot of waiting in the Bible? Abraham waited for an heir. Hannah waited for a child. King David waited for help. Israel waited for deliverance. But nobody likes to wait!

  As human beings, we like things to happen fast. Today is better than tomorrow. So it’s no surprise that some people in the Bible ran into trouble while they were waiting. Their waiting provided the perfect opportunity for their wandering.

  Israel, fresh out of Egypt, is only one example. They had just seen the mighty hand of their Deliverer, experienced His gracious provision, and been blessed by His faithfulness. And yet, in a moment of waiting, they quickly wandered from God. In Exodus 32:8, we read, “They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf.” I can’t help but be struck by that phrase, quick to turn away. When God seemed slow to answer, they were quick to turn away.

  How easily we can become discouraged, resentful, forgetful, impatient, and even disobedient when we’re waiting on God. Maybe you’re waiting for God’s provision. Perhaps you are waiting for Him to right a wrong. Or maybe you are waiting for God to fulfill a promise. Regardless of your waiting, don’t let it become an opportunity to wander. Be careful of being “quick to turn away.” Wait for Him in hope. Turn to Him in trust. God never wastes our waiting.

  Father, help me wait in hope. Guard my heart against wandering, doubt, or resentment. Help me trust You and wait patiently for You. I know that You are faithful, good, and present, even in the waiting. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • In what situation are you waiting on God right now? What might your children be learning about waiting from your example?

  • How do you “wait in hope”?

  Friends Who Stay

  Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”

  —RUTH 1:16

  I was sitting in a coffee shop recently when a woman sitting next to me struck up a conversation about change. I quickly learned that she hates it! She told me how much she disliked it when her favorite study spot rearranged the furniture and that she doesn’t do well with changes at her job. Then she moved on to friendships. Some friendships in her past had fallen apart, and she informed me that I’d be lucky to find one or two friends who would stick around over the years.

  Personally, I love change. But I couldn’t agree more that good, faithful, stick-with-you kind of friends are hard to come by. Friendships that persevere, friends who love when times are hard, friends who are willing to forgive and reconcile when there is disagreement or conflict—those kinds of friendships are beautiful gifts.

  The story from the book of Ruth is one of my favorites about friendships that stand the test of time. Ruth could have easily turned back and gone home. She was not obligated to follow Naomi. She was free to move on and start something new. But she stayed with Naomi. Ruth is a great example of a faithful friend.

  In a culture where it is so easy to throw away one friendship for another, we need to be friends who are willing to stick with it. Especially during these messy parenting years when everything around us is changing, we need friends who don’t! Let’s strive to be the friend who loves unconditionally and remains committed no matter what. We can be the friend who stays.

  Father, You are faithful. In Your love, You stick with me. You don’t give up on me. Help me be the kind of friend who stays the course, loves, forgives, and offers hope to the friends You have placed in my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • How has a friend blessed you by being willing to stick with you through the years?

  • What is one way you can stick with a friendship that is hard right now?

  Confessing Sin

  If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

  —1 JOHN 1:8–9

  Not too long ago, our Saturday morning breakfast turned into a discussion about which color our back deck should be. My husband wanted one color, I wanted another, and we both believed we had very convincing reasons for why we were right. Finally, I blurted out, “You are so stubborn!” To which my husband simply said, “No, I’m just right!”

  Have you ever had one of those conversations? We joke about it now, but it’s amazing that something so small and insignificant can turn into a conflict. Often at the heart of conflict is our own sin.

  In the Bible sin is often described as separation. Our sin separates us from God and many times from one another. When we sin, our actions bring hurt into our relationships. This is why we need to be honest about our sin.

  Being honest about our sin is acknowledging and admitting the pain our sin brings to our relationships. It is being alert to the ways our sin affects our desires, attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors—even silly conversations about the color of a deck! In marriage, we are not just two lovers, but two sinners sharing life.

  Today, ask the Father to give you humility and grace. Seek the heart of God so that He will enable you to see your own sin, confess it, and chase after what He wants for you—which is always better for us than what we want for ourselves!

  Father, I confess that I don’t always do what You want in our marriage
. I fall short, failing to live up to who You have called me to be. Give me grace. Help me look to Jesus for perfection and not my spouse. Teach me to walk in humility, being honest about my own sin. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • How often do you confess your sin to your spouse?

  • What is one way you can walk with greater humility in your marriage?

  Every Marriage Needs Kindness

  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

  —EPHESIANS 4:32

  What do you think of when you think of kindness? Would you use the word kind to describe your interactions with your husband? Kindness is a key ingredient for every life-giving, God-honoring marriage.

  We honor God in our marriages when we treat our spouses the way He treats us. In Christ, God did not come with harsh and demanding words. Jesus came with kindness. The Bible encourages us to treat others in the same way Christ has treated us. We are to be “kind and compassionate” because that is how God acts toward us and because that’s how we want to be treated.

  Kindness is being gentle in how we talk (Proverbs 15:1). It’s treating each other with respect. Kindness includes smiling at each other, encouraging each other, and being willing to forgive. In marriage, kindness is being concerned with our spouses’ happiness more than our own.

  How can you foster kindness in your marriage? What can you do to bring your husband joy with your words, attitude, and actions? “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Allow God to cultivate in you a heart that is kind, gentle, compassionate, and forgiving. Ask the Father to help you be more concerned with your spouse’s happiness than your own.

  Father, help my husband and me treat each other tenderly, being careful of how we speak and act toward each other. Give us each a heart that really does want the best for the other. I pray that You would guard our lips and keep us from being harsh, critical, and sarcastic. Instead, may our words offer sincerity, respect, and kindness. Help us do for each other as You have done for us. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What prevents you from being kind to your spouse at times?

  • What is one way you can bring happiness to your spouse?

  Guarding Your Home

  The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

  —GENESIS 2:15

  Do you remember what it felt like to be in your first home or apartment? A place that was just yours? Shortly after my husband and I were married, we settled into our first apartment in Chicago. It didn’t take us long to begin making it feel like home. We bought new furniture. Painted the walls. Hung pictures. The apartment was tiny, cozy, and most importantly, ours.

  A home is sacred space. It’s not only a place where we live, but also a place where God’s presence dwells.

  When we open the Bible, one of the first stories we read is about God giving Adam and Eve a place to live. That place was the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve would not just live in Eden; they were “to work it and take care of it.” This charge was far more important than rearranging furniture and decorating walls!

  When God told the first couple to work and take care of their home, He was telling them to guard it. It wouldn’t take long for Satan, disguised as a serpent, to make his way toward their home. With evil lurking, the command to guard their home was too important to ignore.

  Just as He did in Eden, God wants our homes to be places where His Word is honored and His will is obeyed. As we cultivate our marriages and grow families, God’s Word is an important reminder for us. How are we guarding our homes and our hearts? Where do we need the reminder to watch over what matters most?

  Father, I know that You have not called me to be fearful of our enemy, but You have called me to be wise. Your Word commands me to be watchful. Help me be watchful over my marriage and family. May my home be a place where You are honored and evil is pushed back. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • What are common ways Satan attacks a home?

  • What are several ways you can guard your heart and home?

  God Works with What You Have

  [David] took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.

  —1 SAMUEL 17:40

  Not a single soldier in Israel’s army wanted to go out and fight the Philistine named Goliath. For forty days this giant of a man taunted . . . waited . . . heckled . . . and essentially mocked the entire army until one Israelite had had enough. Young David was going to fight Goliath. Not alone, but with God.

  A shepherd boy, David wasn’t even supposed to be on the battlefield. But when he heard Goliath taunting God’s army, he couldn’t take it anymore. Israel’s king, Saul, offered David his own armor, which the Bible tells us just didn’t feel right. Off it went. Instead, David gathered what he had. Five smooth stones. A shepherd’s bag. His sling. And the God of Israel.

  The rest is history. Goliath was no match for David—or rather, David’s God. The Lord Almighty had given His people victory, and it came at the hands of a young shepherd boy who was willing to step out in faith and allow God to use what he had.

  Isn’t that the way God always works? God uses what we have, not what we wish we had. For David, it was five smooth stones. For Moses, it was a staff. Gideon had a torch and some jars.

  The Lord uses your gifts, not someone else’s. He uses your experiences and your past. He takes what feels like scraps of fish and bread, and He multiplies them. This is the way God has always worked and is working with you. He wants to use what you do have and not what you wish you had.

  Father, this is Your work. It’s not about me. Would You take what I have and use it to help shape my kids? Would You work in me, with what I have, to do great things in my family? In faith, I am trusting You today. In Jesus’ name, amen.

  • In this daunting task of parenting, why do you sometimes focus on what you don’t have instead of what you do have?

  • In what aspect of your life do you need the reminder that God will use what He’s given you to help you tackle the challenges you face?

  Sharpen the Mind

  “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

  —MATTHEW 22:37

  We were sitting around our community pool when our son’s friend said to him, “You’ve never heard of the Big Bang? You know, like how the world began?” I’m not sure how the topic came up, but the boys’ conversation got deep fast.

  As I listened, I was struck with how important it is for us moms to prayerfully help shape our kids’ minds and prepare them to face tough topics and hard conversations. Now is the time to help them know not only what they believe, but also why they believe it (1 Peter 3:15).

  Like a farmer planting seeds, we have the joy and responsibility of planting the truth of God’s Word in our children’s hearts when they’re young and thinking more concretely. Those seeds will bear fruit in the years to come. But as our kids grow older, they will begin to think more abstractly. They will want and need explanations about why they believe what they believe.

  So be patient with your kids, and give them permission to ask hard questions. When they are tweens and teens, begin giving them age-appropriate books or videos on why the Christian faith is reasonable. As moms, we are not to pressure our kids to choose to follow Christ, but we can prepare them to want to choose Christ. Begin now, helping them learn to love God with all of their hearts, with all of their souls, and with all of their minds.

  Lord, help me be intentional about training my children to grow up to love You with all of their hearts, souls, and minds. Give me the wisdom and the resources to shepherd them in this way. I pray that You would guard their minds from the enemy’s lies and allow the truth of Your Word to take root and grow, producing in them a harvest of righteousness. In Jesus’
name, amen.

  • What is the difference between pressuring a child to follow Jesus and preparing a child to follow Jesus?

  • What are some age-appropriate ways you can help your children not only know what to believe, but know why to believe it?

  Clothed in Humility

  All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

  —1 PETER 5:5

  We were hustling around the house, running late, of course, for the kids’ first day at our new homeschool co-op. Suddenly our youngest and most fashion-savvy son, Noah, appeared in the family room. He was decked out in black and red high-top basketball shoes, grey camo joggers, and a blue and orange Denver Broncos jersey. It was a collision of colors! Much to his dismay, I had to inform him that his outfit really didn’t work, and he needed to change a few things.

  The Bible often talks about transformation and growth like a change of clothes. When we come to know Christ and desire to grow in Him, we are called to take off certain clothing and put on new clothing. First Peter 5:5, for instance, tells us to “clothe” ourselves with humility. We are to dress each day, in attitude and action, with humility. Paul gave this instruction: “In humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4).

  Pride is always turned inward; humility is turned outward. Pride is me-centered; humility is others-centered. One of the ways that God uses parenting is to help teach us to look beyond our own interests, and instead help us to focus on the interests of others.