Nasty Business

by Gillian Godden

  ‘Well done, Tony.’ The other men gave him a round of applause. ‘You had a great hand and you held your nerve. That man was a bloody fool; how is he going to explain he has just given away a house?’ They all started mumbling together about how foolish the man had been.

  Eventually, he came out of the bathroom, wiping his mouth. It was blatantly obvious that he had been sick.

  Tony wanted to appear friendly and decent in front of these businessmen. ‘I tell you what,’ he said, ‘we’re all friends here; how much is the house worth, seriously?’ Tony waited; he saw the colour start to appear in the man’s cheeks again.

  ‘Two point five million,’ the estate agent said.

  ‘I’ll take your credit note, instead, but I want all the money by this afternoon. Send it to my casino. Is that fair?’ Tony looked around at the other men at the table with a questioning look.

  ‘Bravo, Tony, that’s the gentleman’s way of playing the game, bravo,’ said the leader of the men, who had set up the game. Each and every one of them agreed that Tony was being a good sport about things. The leader put a large Havana cigar in his mouth and drew on it, then blew a large cloud of smoke into the already hot and sweaty atmosphere.

  ‘I don’t have it! I would need a month or two at least,’ the estate agent blurted out. He looked ashamed and embarrassed. His eyes were wide with horror and fear.

  The leader of the poker game looked horrified and disgusted. ‘Are you telling us all that you carried on gambling and placing bets with money you don’t have, to prove a point?’ He turned to Tony. ‘I’m sorry, Tony, I would never have asked him to the table if I had known. I feel it is my debt.’ He blew out more cigar smoke into the air.

  ‘I’m sorry, I thought I had a winning hand. Sorry.’ The estate agent was disgraced in front of all these men. They were washing their hands of him.

  ‘No need for that,’ said Tony. He was gritting his teeth and playing yet another kind of poker game. ‘Everyone, take all your money back and let’s just call it a day, shall we?’ Tony gulped back his drink and stood up. ‘Gentlemen, it’s been a nice afternoon. Come on, Jake, time to go.’

  Jake felt he was taking this very well indeed. Normally, Tony would have gone berserk by now, but he was being very calm about the situation, and it was evident all the other men felt he was being more than generous.

  The leader of the poker game stood up and put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. Clearly, not everything he had heard about this man was true; he seemed to be a very decent chap who was prepared to let bygones be bygones.

  ‘Take your winnings, Tony, the house is yours. This game is my responsibility and I will sort it. As for you, sir,’ the leader looked at the estate agent, ‘you are not a gentleman, get out.’

  Tony spoke up, his voice velvety, his demeanour calm, almost humble. ‘If you are sure … it is only a game, and we are all friends and businessmen. Really, I don’t mind. It’s been a nice afternoon away from the toils of work.’ Tony smiled genuinely at all of the men, making them appreciate his generosity and manner even more. He was being very decent and sporting about the whole sorry affair. He was portraying the British stiff upper lip and they were lapping it up.

  The leader of the game picked up the house keys and the deeds, and nodded to one of the waiters to put the money into a bag. ‘Here, I insist you take this, Tony, if for no other reason than that I can hold my head up in public again. I have never been so embarrassed. You won it fair and square; and after all, if you’d lost, he would have happily taken your money.’ The man held out his hand to shake Tony’s; he looked very apologetic.

  Tony took the bag of money and the keys and deeds offered to him, then quickly said his farewells and left. He waited till he got into the car, then heaved a sigh of relief. ‘Thank God that’s over.’

  John, the driver, drove away from the club quickly.

  ‘Bloody hell, Tony, that was tense. I thought you would have killed him. He was going to take thousands off you, and you were going to give them all their money back. I think I’ve lost weight just watching. I was wetting myself,’ said Jake.

  ‘So was I, Jake.’ Tony swept his hair back, then sat forward on the car seat and held his arms out straight, angled down towards the floor of the car, and half a dozen playing cards fell out of his sleeves. Jake watched them fall, amazed. He picked up the cards and looked at them.

  ‘You don’t have anything; it’s a rubbish hand of cards.’ Jake held them up and looked at them again. How the hell had he done it? He had been watching Tony all of the time, and so had the others.

  Tony burst out laughing loudly. ‘Oh, yes I do, Jake, I have eighty thousand pounds, an estate with a mansion house in Southend, by the seaside, and the respect of all those men. I don’t mind saying it, though, it freaked me out when they shook my hand with all that decency and gratitude, I thought my cards would fall out! But that estate agent, snivelling little rat, he deserved what he got. He could have done that to any one of those guys, but he was desperate to prove a point and do it to me. Like you say, Jake, I always have something up my sleeve.’

  Jake put his hands to his face; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, or seeing, for that matter. ‘That guy is probably going to go out and shoot himself. That is the gentleman’s way, isn’t it? For God’s sake, Tony!’

  ‘Shoot himself? He’ll be lucky.’ Tony smiled, but there was little warmth in it.

  You kept calm, though, I’ll grant you that.’ Jake was in awe.

  ‘I’m not a gentleman, but I’ve gained respect amongst that lot. Now, let’s go to the seaside and see what these keys have in store for us.’ Tony held up the keys and waved them in the air in front of Jake’s face. He looked very pleased with himself. A house by the sea; it was an investment, and by all accounts, according to the men in that room, a damn good one. A lord’s house, and he had paid nothing for it. That was the best sort of business.

  ***

  The following afternoon, Tony and Jake stood in an old derelict warehouse, looking up at a man with a noose around his neck, balancing on a rickety wooden chair.

  ‘Jump, or I’ll push the chair from under your feet anyway,’ said Tony.

  ‘Please, Mr Lambrianu, don’t do this. I have a wife and family. I’m already ruined and disgraced. I’ve lost my job because I gave you that house. You don’t have to do this.’

  Tony looked up at the old dusty beam with the rope wrapped around it and shook his head. His ears were closed to the estate agent’s pleadings. ‘If you’re not prepared to do the time, then don’t do the crime. Isn’t that what they say?’ Tony’s voice was calm and almost friendly. Standing there with his hands in the pockets of his camel coat, he looked bored.

  Tears were pouring down the estate agent’s face; he was trembling, but trying not to move. The old chair that stood between life and death was already wobbling underneath his feet.

  ‘Jake, here, thinks I should give you a chance. Consider this a lesson, set the record straight, so to speak. What do you think?’

  The dark, derelict warehouse hadn’t been used in years. Only a small streak of sunlight shone through the tiles missing from the roof. Pigeons had made it their home and rats had made it their food source. Tony rubbed the soles of his shoes on the floor, in an attempt to get some of the pigeon shit off them. He waited.

  ‘Yes, yes, Jake’s right,’ said the estate agent. His voice was as shaky as the chair he stood on. ‘Give me a chance, Mr Lambrianu. I’ll go to prison when they find out I gave that house away, I will do the time. When I get out, I can leave London and never come back. I won’t say anything about this. Promise.’ He sniffed. ‘I’m a gambler, Mr Lambrianu, I have a problem. But you got your money and more. There’s nothing they can do, the house is yours. You have the deeds and I signed it over. Please, Mr Lambrianu.’ He turned his eyes to Jake. ‘Jake, tell him for God’s sake, please.’

  The warehouse was large, but felt claustrophobic. Sweat poured down the estate agent’s face
and dripped off the end of his nose. That, combined with the tears, made him a pitiful sight. He’s a far cry from the clever, smug bastard who tried conning me out of money yesterday, Tony thought to himself. He turned to look at Jake. ‘Tell him what you think he should do, Jake.’ He remained calm, and looked and sounded bored.

  Jake stepped forward and cleared his throat before he spoke. He, too, was feeling hot and sweaty in the airless dump. ‘You like to play poker with gentlemen. The elite, you might say. Well, from what I’ve read about gentleman disgraced in society, they kill themselves to save their families from further embarrassment. Also, it would save us a lot of explaining. We haven’t beaten you up, we just bundled you into the car and brought you here. Everyone will breathe a sigh of relief that you did the decent thing.’

  The man’s eyes widened and he stared at Jake. He’d thought he was going to help him, give him a chance to redeem himself. This was not what he had hoped for. He knew he was doomed. The pair of them stood there, staring at him in a nonchalant way. His life meant nothing to them. The end was inevitable; his bladder gave way.

  ‘You disgust me,’ said Tony. ‘You tried making me look a cunt in front of those uppity posh bastards and you were going to rob me. No, it’s not enough. Look at you now, you’ve pissed yourself and you’re shaking.’ He looked at Jake. ‘For fuck’s sake, let’s get this over with. I’m bored and hungry.’ He turned his eyes back to the estate agent. ‘Now, fucking jump or I’ll kick the chair out from under you myself. Either way, you’re dead meat. Have some pride, be a man. Come on, we’ll count together. One … two …’

  ‘Wait, no, wait. You’re not going to kill me, you fucking criminals.’ The estate agent had accepted his fate and felt the braver for it. It didn’t matter anymore. That bored expression on their faces said it all.

  He took as much air into his lungs as the tight noose around his neck allowed, then jumped from the chair, knocking it over in the process. His body started twitching and dancing in the air as he choked on his last breath then, suddenly, there was an eerie silence as his motionless body swayed back and forth.

  Tony gave Jake the thumbs up and nodded, then started to walk towards the old planks of wood that had been used to board the place up. He was just about to step out into the daylight when he turned, almost knocking Jake over. He walked back to the body dangling in the air, put both his arms around the estate agent’s legs and pulled them down with all his might. Hearing the beam crack, he stopped, and walked back over to Jake, wiping the dust off his hands as he went.

  Jake watched and waited for Tony to join him. ‘Was that absolutely necessary? You could see he was dead.’

  ‘He looked dead; he might have just been unconscious. Now, I know he’s fucking dead for sure. Come on, Jake, I need a bacon sandwich.’

  John, the driver, opened the door for them. He had stopped the estate agent and asked him for directions outside of his house, and bundled him into the car. Three people had gone in to the warehouse and only two came out. He knew what had happened.

  Jake yawned, closing his eyes and stretching out his legs in the back of the car, then shook his head. ‘You can be a nasty bastard sometimes, Tony. I actually think you enjoy it.’

  ‘It’s a nasty business, Jake.’ Tony looked back at the warehouse and smiled to himself. That was a job well done. ‘John, take us to the club.’

  When they got back, Sharon told them she had booked the flights and they were due to go to Italy in two days’ time. That would give them time to get their affairs in order before they left. The flight towards the warm sunshine was indeed a welcoming thought. Rosanna at the door, greeting them both, was an even nicer one.

  ***

  When they arrived, the weather was warm and the workers on the vineyard were going about their business. Sure enough, it was Rosanna who opened the door to them and she made a big fuss of them both.

  ‘Where is Nonna?’ Tony said, when they were in the house, and Rosanna had brought them a cold drink each. Although Tony called Miriam ‘grandmother’ now, he still like the Italian word for it; he thought it sounded friendlier.

  ‘She is at the church, Antonias. She will be back soon.’ Rosanna went and made herself busy, airing the bedrooms.

  ‘You take the cases up, Jake, I want to go and see Miriam.’

  Tony walked out into the courtyard and went to the little church on the grounds. He saw his grandmother kneeling before the altar, praying. He waited until she had finished and then spoke. ‘Grandmother, Nonna.’ He held out his arms and watched her stand, turn, and walk swiftly towards him.

  ‘Antonias, my beautiful boy, why didn’t you call? I could have had things ready. Truly, God answers my prayers.’ She fell into his open arms and held him tightly.

  The next few days were truly relaxing: no newspapers, no hassle, that all seemed a million miles away.

  GANGLAND WARS

  Miriam enjoyed the fact that Tony would accompany her to church in the daytime. She wasn’t sure if he prayed or not, but he would kneel and watch her intently as she did. This obviously meant something to him.

  ‘I have got something for you, Antonias, here.’ Miriam held out a small cloth bag. It was old and worn.

  He took it from her and looked inside. It was some sort of beaded necklace with a crucifix attached. He looked up at her.

  ‘It’s a rosary. In fact, it was your father’s rosary. It’s yours now, and hopefully, it will always keep you safe. Your father always carried it with him. It seems strange now, or maybe just coincidence, but he left it in his room on the day he had his accident. Probably just coincidence.’ Her eyes wandered off, as though she was remembering her dead son, Antonias’s father.

  Jake had laughed at Tony at times, asking if he was going to spend all the holiday in there confessing all of his sins. Then he would remind him that it was only a short stay and they would need a lot longer if Tony was to do that.

  ‘I like it there, it’s peaceful. There is something holy about that place, I don’t know what, and I know I’ve had too much to drink and I’m talking rubbish, but that place has meaning for me.’

  Jake thought it was strange. Tony, who seemed to have a heart of stone at times, had a different side to him that no one saw. He liked that little church, possibly even loved it. It held a lot of family meaning for him. ‘Maybe you’ll get married in there, one day,’ Jake joked.

  Tony scoffed at the idea. ‘I would never bring any of the women I know here, it’s my place. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t marry any of them, either.’

  ‘You will, one day, when the right woman comes along and sweeps you off your feet.’

  ‘Indeed, he will, Jake, you are right,’ said Miriam, walking into the dining room, where they were still drinking their wine and talking. ‘She’s out there, Antonias, you just need to find her, and she will appear when you are not looking for her.’ Miriam gave him one of her wise old smiles. Tony reached out his hand to Miriam.

  ‘You’re the only woman I’m going into church with, Nonna.’ Tony was a little drunk; he could let his hair down, here. He didn’t have to deal with everyone’s problems, here. It was sanctuary.

  ‘Do you think he ever will get married, Nonna?’ Now Jake was drunkenly smiling at Miriam and joking, while propping himself up on one elbow.

  That was the worst thing about living on a vineyard with bottles and bottles of delicious wine at your disposal. Miriam was not a drinker and was used to it, but to Jake and Tony it was like nectar.

  ‘Oh, yes. I have asked God. He says, she will fight him all the way, and eventually fall in love with Antonias, not Tony.’ With that, she wished them both goodnight and went upstairs to bed.

  ‘What’s it like, Jake, sleeping with the same woman every night? Don’t you ever get bored?’ Tony was swaying slightly and his eyes were glazed, but he was suddenly curious.

  Jake looked at him seriously. ‘There is a big difference between the sex you have with your women and making love with some
one who is your friend, lover and life partner, someone you can trust implicitly. It has meaning, it’s not just a release of the animal instincts.’ Jake watched Tony taking it in. He knew he wouldn’t remember this conversation in the morning but maybe, one day, he would understand. He hoped so.

  ***

  After a week of enjoying good food in their bellies and hot sun on their backs, Tony decided it was time to get down to business. ‘Now it’s time to stir up a little trouble back home, Jake. Are you ready to contact Angus?’

  ‘Sure. I’ll give you your due, you’ve taken longer than I thought to get around to it. This place does you good. You’re like a different person here.’

  It was true. They had gone riding through Italy on little mopeds, and buzzed around the vineyard on them, having some fun. A thought had occurred to Tony and he had tried to brush it off, but he couldn’t help it. It felt good to be home. Here was home. So was Elle, and he didn’t want to betray her after everything she had done for him, but this was his true home.

  Tony told Miriam that he had bought a house by the sea, although without going into any details. Jake interrupted and told her that Tony was getting in the decorators and had hired some designer to furnish it. He was leaving it all to them. After all, what did he know about a house that big?

  ‘I thought, maybe Elle could look after things there, after all, she lives nearby.’ Tony looked at his grandmother for approval.’

  ‘That’s an excellent idea, Antonias, she is a good woman and has served you well. She will look after things for you.’ She realised Tony didn’t want to take sides, to have to choose between his fondness for Elle and herself.

  ‘It’s a beautiful house, Nonna, enormous and with lots of land attached to it, and out of the windows you can see the sea and the waves crashing against the beach. Maybe you’ll come and visit one day.’ Tony waited pensively.

  ‘I’m an old woman for travelling, but maybe I will, one day. In the meantime, I expect lots of photos.’