Kat's Nine Lives

by Laina Villeneuve

  Hearing Kat search for a way to make her happy made Wendy’s heart hurt. “I’m guessing you’ll be busy with Jack’s wedding, and I can’t help with that.”

  “Oh.”

  Kat sounded so puzzled that Wendy wanted to scream. How can you possibly think it’s okay to plan all the details for your ex to marry someone else in your childhood home instead of pointing out that it’s the new bride’s job? You remember, that friend of yours who agreed to the couple swap? How does that not seem fucked up to you?

  Her inner monologue reminded her that she had told Kat out loud that her childhood was fucked up. Was that why it felt perfectly fine to help Jack? It had been so easy to let her feelings for Kat snowball, but recalling Cory’s question about whether Kat got what Wendy needed sucker-punched her. Kat didn’t get what she needed at all. She was still the straight girl caught up in her ex’s straight world planning another straight wedding. She wasn’t part of Wendy’s world at all. And it didn’t seem like she ever would be. “I’m so sorry Kat,” she said, her throat even tighter.

  “For what? Wendy? What’s wrong?”

  The fear in Kat’s voice made Wendy want to say it was nothing, that they’d get together after the wedding, go to the observatory at Griffith Park or watch the sunrise at Vasquez Rocks. But that would happen only if something with Jack or her parents didn’t come up because if they needed her, surely they’d come first. She felt like when Kat carved up her time, Wendy would always get the last serving.

  She wanted someone who was free to hang out after work, not someone who had errands to run for her mother, or father, or ex-husband. She saw Kat’s mother not as someone waiting to be served but someone who took heaping spoonful after spoonful of Kat’s time before the bowl even got passed around. She did not begrudge Travis his portion of Kat’s attention, but it was a whole lot easier for her to understand that Kat was always going to be his mom than it was to understand why she felt obligated to help Jack. “I don’t know if I can do this,” Wendy finally said.

  “The wedding? I know. You already said that.”

  Silence extended between them as Wendy tried to put into words how she felt. “I am having trouble seeing where I fit into your life.”

  “What are you talking about? I want to spend every extra minute I have with you.”

  “Except when Jack needs help with his wedding.”

  “That’s not fair,” Kat said sharply. “I didn’t expect him to drop this on me, and it’s not like he’s going to ask me to plan another wedding for him after this one.”

  “What else will it be? Did it occur to you that you could say no?” More silence. Wendy’s heart sank. “No. You want to do the wedding. That makes it seem like you’re still part of his life.”

  “I want to help him with this one day. It’s not that big of a deal, is it?”

  Wendy refused to get sucked into the drama of Kat’s former life. “Sure. No big deal.”

  “Wendy, it will be fine. Right?” Kat sounded worried.

  “I don’t know, Kat. I really don’t know.”

  By the time she hung up, every item in her refrigerator was on the counter. She rinsed her rag in the hot soapy tub she had next to her on the floor and attacked the sticky calcified spot at the very back of the lowest shelf.

  * * *

  She’d been wrong about letting Jack and Ember get married at the house. Kat could see that now, and how she wished she’d realized it two weeks ago. When she’d hung up, she’d been momentarily crushed, but what she felt for Wendy was so new that she quickly shoved it aside and leaned into feeling angry with Wendy for refusing to help. She tracked down a taco caterer and shopped for the goodies for the cottage treats and gift bags and the candles to float in the pool.

  Despite her mother’s adamant stance about the upstairs being off-limits, Kat insisted that her room was the logical place for Ember to get dressed. Somewhere between the cold click of her mother’s door shutting just as Kat and Ember reached the top of the stairs and Ember descending in her white dress, a stone of regret settled in Kat’s belly. It had brought her no pleasure to hear Ember complain about the impact a second child would have on her body and the months she would have to suffer without alcohol.

  Kat had helped Jack coordinate a minister, photographer and guests. Now she found herself retreating like her mother. She texted her father. Does everything seem under control?

  Organized chaos. Will you be joining the gathering?

  Think I’ll stay up here if that’s okay.

  Shall I deliver that message to Jack?

  If he asks.

  As you wish.

  His text transported her back to the pier with Wendy, and she wished that she could exit the wedding on a pirate ship and sail away from it all. She tried to think of an apology quote from The Princess Bride but came up empty. Then an idea popped into her head. Pretty certain that Wendy would have seen When Harry Met Sally, she texted Wendy You’re right, you’re right. I know you’re right.

  Her heart lightened when her phone chimed, but the message to Wendy was still the only one on the screen. She went back to her inbox and found a message from Travis. They’re starting!

  Ok, she thumbed back.

  Aren’t you coming?

  It’s too weird.

  Couldn’t you have thought of that before?

  Sorry?

  You are so busted for this.

  Not as busted as you’re going to be for texting in the front row.

  How do you know where I am? From the patio, he looked up to her window and saw her. She could tell he was growling at her. She pointed to his father and soon-to-be stepmother, hoping he would intuit his need to be respectful.

  She watched from the window, her mind filled not with the memory of exchanging vows with Jack but rather with the desire to kiss Wendy as she’d stood with her on the porch. And how it had felt kissing her. Why wasn’t she checking her messages? Or had she seen it and decided not to answer?

  After Wendy had said she shouldn’t host Jack and Ember’s wedding, Kat ever so briefly considered calling Jack to cancel, but having already said yes, it would have been so much harder to call and tell him no. Her stomach knotted with worry that Wendy would not forgive her the weakness of catering to her family’s needs. But of course, Jack wasn’t her family any longer. She realized that now.

  Her phone chimed, and she found a text from her mother, right on cue. Is it over? I’m hungry. I hope they at least got a decent caterer.

  Kat pocketed her phone. She didn’t have the energy to deal with her. She groaned when she heard the door down the hall open. Millie entered the room without knocking and joined her at the window. “Back up,” Kat whispered. “People could see you if you stand there.”

  “Like I care. It’s my house.”

  “And some of the people out there are still my friends.”

  Her mother sighed her disagreement. “Well Travis looks sharp. Can’t believe that woman would wear white. Must’ve lost its meaning since I got married.”

  “You weren’t a…” Kat tipped her head back. “You know, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Millie moved Kat’s purple bear from her corner chair, propped her cane and sat. Kat remained tucked behind the curtain. “You didn’t answer my text.”

  “I’m watching the wedding.”

  “Who have you been texting with?”

  “Dad. Travis.”

  “I was hoping you’d been texting with Wendy.”

  “She’s working.” Kat didn’t want to admit that she wished she’d been texting with Wendy too.

  “Too bad she’s not catering here.”

  “Did you need something, Mom?”

  “I told you. I’m hungry.”

  “I’m not going back down there.” Kat hadn’t known she was staying upstairs until she said it out loud, but with the decision came instant relief.

  “But what will we eat?”

  “Text Dad. Maybe he’ll bring you something
.”

  “You said yourself your friends are here. Why won’t you go down?”

  “I’m not feeling up to it. This is Jack’s day, not mine. Everyone’s going to want to know how I feel, and I don’t feel like saying I’m fine right now.”

  “But that’s what you always do.”

  Kat couldn’t argue that point, but she also didn’t have to continue to do what didn’t feel right. She was tired of lying. She would have loved to share her small step of progress with Wendy, but seeing as she hadn’t answered Kat’s last message, Kat would have to hold that thought. She had so much to say to Wendy. Maybe if she called, Wendy would talk to her. Her mother waited for her to say something, but Kat didn’t have the energy. She was finished. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell Jack to find another venue. Sorry that we’re stuck up here until it’s over.”

  “Everyone is going to notice that you disappeared.”

  “I’m aware.”

  “And they’re going to talk about it.”

  “Yep.”

  “You’re okay with that?”

  Kat remembered talking to Wendy about what her friends would have said if she’d befriended her in high school. Now she knew it would have been better to have told Wendy how good she looked at prom. What had she gained by being a part of the inner circle? Then or now. “It’s time to be honest and live my own life.”

  “Whose life are you living now?”

  She’d been talking to herself, not to her mom. Millie was still talking, trying to decipher what Kat meant when the meaning was just coming to Kat herself. She wanted to be alone, she concluded. Every word her mom said crowded her more until she started to feel like the room was so full of words that she couldn’t breathe.

  “Mom,” she finally interrupted. “I need you to do something for me.”

  Her mom leaned forward. “What? You need me to get Travis? You look overwhelmed.”

  “I need you to leave.”

  Her words gave her more room to think.

  “Please. I want to be alone.”

  Millie’s mouth opened, and Kat dared her mother with her fiercest look to say a word. To her amazement, Millie got up and walked to the door. She hesitated for a moment, but blessedly left, shutting it quietly behind her.

  Kat leaned back against the wall. The party had started, and Kat felt the reverberating thump, thump, thump of the bass. As the crowd celebrated the beginning of Jack and Ember’s commitment, Kat started to imagine what her life could be like on her own.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Hi there, sweetness,” Wendy’s dad said, kissing her cheek.

  Wendy closed her door and hugged her stepmother, Marie, who had stayed back in contrast to her dad who had continued inside. The yellow two-bedroom house sat back from the street. Light and shadow rippled from a slight breeze blowing through the majestic magnolia in her front yard. White trim accented the cream-colored walls of her living room.

  As was Drew’s habit, he checked on his creations, two walnut chairs facing the large front room to separate the living room from her dining area. He raised the leaves of a tea-service table he had crafted from cherry wood. With fewer than eight-hundred square feet, Wendy usually left the leaves down, but each month when her dad visited, the first thing he did was pull them up to admire the full wingspan.

  “What smells so good today?” Marie asked.

  “I’m trying a recipe for spicy cauliflower curry,” Wendy said.

  “Let’s get the wine breathing,” Marie said carrying her things to the kitchen.

  Wendy followed her into the kitchen that had been the major selling point of the home. Though the structure itself was small, the kitchen was roomy and came with an industrial stove and generous counter space. “I was thinking about making tomato chutney to go with the curry.”

  “You’re the expert. Is this something you and José are going to put on the menu at Fairbanks?”

  The question led them into an easy and familiar conversation about what was new at the restaurant and how her catering was going. When Marie had first started dating her father, Wendy hadn’t taken them seriously. She was still a teenager, and in her mind, they simply didn’t match. Marie had a good six inches on Drew, even without the heels she always wore with her tailored suits. Wendy had been polite to her because she couldn’t see someone as poised and stylish staying with her father who wore the same jeans and T-shirts until they were full of holes. And yet they were still together almost twenty-five years later. Her dad’s jeans were newer, and his shirts intact, but he still wore his long hair pulled back in a ponytail and his beard bushy.

  The curry ready to serve over couscous, Wendy pulled out four of her favorite pottery wine goblets from leaded-glass cupboards.

  “Expecting someone?” Drew asked

  “What?” Wendy asked. He pointed to the glasses and, realizing her mistake, she blushed. All weekend she’d been curious about how the wedding had gone, yet she had not texted. For two days, she had been crafting and rejecting responses. Now that she had waited so long, it was even more difficult to find the right words. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” she said, placing the extra goblet back on the shelf and pouring wine into the other three.

  Now that Wendy’s subconscious had imagined having Kat join her family dinner, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She’d told them about past girlfriends but had never felt compelled to introduce them. Like she’d told Erin, social expectations had never prompted her to take a date to a holiday event. Unless she was serious about someone, she was not going to suggest such a thing, and she’d never been that serious before.

  So why had she pulled out four goblets?

  What would Kat make of her dad and Marie? She wagered that Kat would match Principal Marie’s stories of angry parents and troubled kids with observations about the church congregation. Would Kat and her dad have anything to talk about? Wendy tried to find something they had in common. Failed first marriages?

  The text Kat had sent a week ago refreshed in her mind. You’re right, you’re right. I know you’re right. She’d immediately recognized Carrie Fisher’s line in When Harry Met Sally. With a smile, she had started to text back to ask what made her finally realize her mistake, but then it occurred to her that Kat had said this as her ex-husband got married in her backyard and Carrie Fisher’s other line came to mind. He’s never going to leave her. Because of Travis, how could Jack really ever leave Kat? The parallel of the single parent with a teenaged child dating for the first time socked her squarely in the solar plexus.

  “When you started dating my dad…” Wendy began, but her mouth was ahead of her brain. Marie motioned with her fork for Wendy to continue. But now Wendy was too embarrassed. She fumbled around and found a suitable substitute. “Did you worry about whether I’d like you?”

  “Never.”

  Drew laughed and kissed Marie on the cheek.

  Wendy’s brows knitted together. “Really? Never?”

  “I’m a principal. I’m used to kids not liking me. But that wasn’t your question.”

  “How do you know?” Wendy asked.

  “I can tell when kids are lying, even grown-up ones. What’s on your mind?” She flicked her always-perfect shoulder-length dark hair back from her face and waited, poised yet genuine.

  Wendy took a bite of curry and chewed it slowly, pleased with the flavors and textures. She rolled words around in her mind, trying to pin down her own worry about Kat. “Did you ever worry about my mom?”

  “Judy? God no. Why would I have worried about her?”

  “Having an ex-wife didn’t make him seem less available?”

  Marie considered Wendy’s question carefully, and Wendy could see her principal persona thinking not only about her own answer but what was behind Wendy’s question.

  “When I met your dad, it was clear that the package was you and him, together. He rarely talked about Judy, but when he did, it was like he was talking about a different lifetime. By the time
I met him, he was a totally different person.”

  “But it helped that my mom wasn’t local.”

  “Why would that make a difference?” her dad asked.

  “If she wanted you to do something for her, wouldn’t it have been harder to say no if she still lived nearby?”

  Drew easily dismissed the idea. “Nope. You, I couldn’t say no to, and Marie knew that. But Judy? She’d had her chance.”

  “Is something going on with Judy?” Marie asked.

  “I don’t know,” Wendy said. “I haven’t talked to her in a long time.”

  “Why the sudden interest?” she asked.

  “I’ve met someone I really like. I’d like to think it could go somewhere, but she’s already got so much going on in her life.”

  “As in she’s busy or as in she’s unavailable?” Marie asked. She rested her fork on her plate, her expression full of concern.

  “Part of it is how busy she is. She works at a church where I do quite a bit of catering, and she has a teenage son.”

  “Isn’t that the friend you ran into at the reunion?” Marie asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Was she with her husband then?” Drew asked.

  “Separated and since divorced.”

  “And no longer living together?” Marie asked.

  “Who lives together after they’re divorced?”

  “Financial struggle sometimes makes it necessary,” Marie explained.

  “She and her son live with her parents.”

  “How many high school friends of yours are living with their parents?” Drew asked.

  “Only Kat.”

  “Wait, this is the same girl you knew in high school?”

  “Woman,” Marie inserted.

  Drew let the correction stand, though Wendy could see that in his mind it was okay to call a high-school-aged female a girl. “Kat and I both went to Garfield. But she was part of the popular crowd. We never ran in the same circle, and I thought she was too hoity-toity to be friends. But after the reunion a couple years ago, I found out that wasn’t who she was at all, so since then we’ve been friends.”

  “So the person you knew in high school became the married woman you liked and began to work with, but that too is a past identity. Now she is single,” Marie summed up.