The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 3 of 5)

by Fanny Burney

  CHAPTER XLV

  With whatever shame, whatever chagrin, Juliet saw herself again involvedin a pecuniary obligation, with a stranger, and a gentleman, a supportso efficacious, at a moment of such alarm, was sensibly and gratefullyfelt. Yet she was not less anxious to cancel a favour which still wasunfitting to be received. She watched, therefore, for the departure ofMiss Bydel, and the restoration of stillness to the staircase, todescend, once more, in prosecution to her scheme with Miss Matson.

  The anxious fear of rejection, and dread of rudeness, with which shethen renewed her solicitation, soon happily subsided, from a readinessto listen, and a civility of manner, as welcome as they were unexpected,in her hostess; by whom she was engaged, without difficulty, to enterupon her new business the following morning.

  Thus, and with cruel regret, concluded her fruitless effort to attain aself-dependence which, however subject to toil, might be free, at least,from controul. Every species of business, however narrow its cast,however limited its wants, however mean its materials; required, she nowfound, some capital to answer to its immediate calls, and some steadycredit for encountering the unforeseen accidents, and unavoidable risks,to which all human undertakings, whether great or insignificant, areliable.

  With this conviction upon her mind, she strove to bear thedisappointment without murmuring; hoping to gain in security all thatshe lost in liberty. Little reason, indeed, had she for regretting whatshe gave up: she had been worn by solitary toil, and heavy rumination;by labour without interest, and loneliness without leisure.

  Nevertheless, the beginning of her new career promised littleamelioration from the change. She was summoned early to the shop totake her work; but, when she begged leave to return with it to herchamber, she was stared at as if she had made a demand the mostpreposterous, and told that, if she meant to enter into business, shemust be at hand to receive directions, and to learn how it should bedone.

  To enter into business was far from the intention of Juliet; but thefear of dismission, should she proclaim how transitory were her views,silenced her into acquiescence; and she seated herself behind a distantcounter.

  And here, perforce, she was initiated into a new scene of life, that ofthe humours of a milliner's shop. She found herself in a whirl of hurry,bustle, loquacity, and interruptions. Customers pressed upon customers;goods were taken down merely to be put up again; cheapened but to berejected; admired but to be looked at, and left; and only bought when,to all appearance, they were undervalued and despised.

  It was here that she saw, in its unmasked futility, the selfishness ofpersonal vanity. The good of a nation, the interest of society, thewelfare of a family, could with difficulty have appeared of higherimportance than the choice of a ribbon, or the set of a cap; andscarcely any calamity under heaven could excite looks of deeper horrouror despair, than any mistake committed in the arrangement of a featheror a flower. Every feature underwent a change, from chagrin andfretfulness, if any ornament, made by order, proved, upon trial, to beunbecoming; while the whole complexion glowed with the exquisite joy oftriumph, if something new, devised for a superiour in the world offashion, could be privately seized as a model by an inferiour.

  The ladies whose practice it was to frequent the shop, thought the timeand trouble of its mistress, and her assistants, amply paid by thehonour of their presence; and though they tried on hats and caps, tillthey put them out of shape; examined and tossed about the choicestgoods, till they were so injured that they could be sold only at halfprice; ordered sundry articles, which, when finished, they returned,because they had changed their minds; or discovered that they did notwant them; still their consciences were at ease, their honour wasself-acquitted, and their generosity was self-applauded, if, after twoor three hours of lounging, rummaging, fault-finding and chaffering,they purchased a yard or two of ribbon, or a few skanes of netting silk.

  The most callous disregard to all representations of the dearness ofmaterials, or of the just price of labour, was accompanied by the mostfacile acquiescence even in demands that were exorbitant, if they wereadroitly preceded by, 'Lady ----, or the Duchess of ----, gave that sumfor just such another cap, hat, &c., this very morning.'

  Here, too, as in many other situations into which accident had led, ordistress had driven Juliet, she saw, with commiseration and shame forher fellow-creatures, the total absence of feeling and of equity, in thedissipated and idle, for the indigent and laborious. The goods whichdemanded most work, most ingenuity, and most hands, were last paid,because heaviest of expence; though, for that very reason, the manyemployed, and the charge of materials, made their payment the firstrequired. Oh that the good Mr Giles Arbe, thought Juliet, could arraign,in his simple but impressive style, the ladies who exhibit themselveswith unpaid plumes, at assemblies and operas; and enquire whether theycan flatter themselves, that to adorn them alone is sufficient torecompense those who work for, without seeing them; who ornament withoutknowing them; and who must necessarily, if unrequited, starve inrendering them more brilliant!

  Upon further observation, nevertheless, her compassion for the millinerand the work-women somewhat diminished; for she found that their notionsof probity were as lax as those of their customers were of justice; andsaw that their own rudeness to those who had neither rank nor fortune,kept pace with the haughtiness which they were forced to support, fromthose by whom both were possessed. Every advantage was taken ofinexperience and simplicity; every article was charged, not according toits value, but to the skill or ignorance of the purchaser; old goodswere sold as if new; cheap goods as if dear; and ancient, or vulgarornaments, were presented to the unpractised chafferer, as the very pinkof the mode.

  The rich and grand, who were capricious, difficult, and long in theirexaminations, because their time was their own; or rather, because ithung upon their hands; and whose utmost exertion, and sole practice ofexercise consisted in strolling from a sofa to a carriage, wereinstantly, and with fulsome adulation, attended; while the meaner, oreconomical, whose time had its essential appropriations, and wastherefore precious, were obliged to wait patiently for being served,till no coach was at the door, and every fine lady had sauntered away.And even then, they were scarcely heard when they spoke; scarcely shewnwhat they demanded; and scarcely thanked for what they purchased.

  In viewing conflicts such as these, between selfish vanity and cringingcunning, it soon became difficult to decide, which was least congenialto the upright mind and pure morality of Juliet, the insolent, vain,unfeeling buyer, or the subtle, plausible, over-reaching seller.

  The companions of Juliet in this business, though devoted, of course, toits manual operations, left all its cares to its mistress. Their ownwishes and hopes were caught by other objects. The town was filled withofficers, whose military occupations were brief, whose acquaintanceswere few, and who could not, all day long, ride, or pursue the sports ofthe field. These gentlemen, for their idle moments, chose to deem allthe unprotected young women whom they thought worth observance, theirnatural prey. And though, from race to race, and from time immemorial,the young female shop-keeper had been warned of the danger, the folly,and the fate of her predecessors; in listening to the itinerant admirer,who, here to-day and gone to-morrow, marches his adorations, from townto town with as much facility, and as little regret, as his regiment;still every new votary to the counter and the modes, was ready to goover the same ground that had been trodden before; with the fondpersuasion of proving an exception to those who had ended in misery anddisgrace, by finishing, herself, with marriage and promotion. Theirminds, therefore, were engaged in airy projects; and their leisure,where they could elude the vigilance of Miss Matson, was devoted toclandestine coquetry, tittering whispers, and secret frolics.

  'These,' said Juliet, in a letter to Gabriella, 'are now my destinedassociates! Ah, heaven! can these--can such as these,--setting asidepride, prejudice, propriety, or whatever word we use for thedistinctions of society,--can these--can such as these, suffice ascompanions to her who
se grateful heart has been honoured with thefriendship of Gabriella? O hours of refined felicity past and gone, howsevere is your contrast with those of heaviness and distaste nowendured!'

  The inexperience of Juliet in business, impeded not her acquiring almostimmediate excellence in the millinery art, for which she was equallyfitted by native taste, and by her remembrance of what she had seenabroad. The first time, therefore, that she was employed to arrange someornaments, she adjusted them with an elegance so striking, that MissMatson, with much parade, exhibited them to her best lady-customers, asa specimen of the very last new fashion, just brought her over by one ofher young ladies from Paris.

  In a town that subsists by the search of health for the sick, and ofamusement for the idle, the smallest new circumstance is of sufficientweight to be related and canvassed; for there is ever most to say wherethere is least to do. The phrase, therefore, that went forth from MissMatson, that one of her young ladies was just come from France, was soonspread through the neighbourhood; with the addition that the same personhad brought over specimens of all the French _costume_.

  Such a report could not fail to allure staring customers to the shop,where the attraction of the youth and beauty of the new work-woman,contrasted with her determined silence to all enquiry, gave birth toperpetually varying conjectures in her presence, which were followed bythe most eccentric assertions where she was the subject of discourse inher absence. All that already had been spread abroad, of her acting, herteaching, her playing the harp, her needle-work, and, more than all, herhaving excited a suicide; was now in every mouth; and curiosity, baffledin successive attempts to penetrate into the truth, supplied, as usual,every chasm of fact by invention.

  This species of commerce, always at hand, and always fertile, proved sohighly amusing to the lassitude of the idle, and to the frivolousness ofthe dissipated, that, in a very few days, the shop of Miss Matson becamethe general rendezvous of the saunterers, male and female, ofBrighthelmstone. The starers were happy to present themselves wherethere was something to see; the strollers, where there was any where togo; the loungers, where there was any pretence to stay; and the curiouswhere there was any thing to develop in which they had no concern.

  Juliet, at first, ignorant of the usual traffic of the shop, imaginedthis affluence of customers to be habitual; but she was soon undeceived,by finding herself the object of inquisitive examination; and byoverhearing unrestrained inquiries made to Miss Matson, of 'Pray, Ma'am,which is your famous French milliner?'

  In the midst of these various distastes and discomforts, some interestwas raised in the mind of Juliet, for one of her youngfellow-work-women. It was not, indeed, that warm interest which is theprecursor of friendship; its object had no qualities that could rise tosuch a height; it was simply a sensation of pity, abetted by a wish ofdoing good.

  Flora Pierson, without either fine features or fine countenance, hadstrikingly the beauty of youth in a fair complexion, round, plump, rosycheeks, bright, though unmeaning eyes, and an air of health, strength,and juvenile good humour, that was diffused copiously through her wholeappearance. She was innocent and inoffensive, and, as far as she wasable to think, well meaning, and ready to be at every body's command;though incapable to be at any body's service. Yet her simplicity was ofthat happy sort that never occasions self-distress, from being whollyunaccompanied by any consciousness of deficiency or inferiority.Accustomed to be laughed at almost whenever she spoke, she saw the smilethat she raised without emotion; or participated in it without knowingwhy; and she heard the sneer that followed her simple merriment withoutdispleasure; though sometimes she would a little wonder what it meant.

  This young creature, who had but barely passed her sixteenth year, hadalready attracted the dangerous attention of various officers, fromwhose several attacks and manoeuvres she had hitherto been rescued bythe vigilance of Miss Matson. Each of these anecdotes she eagerly took,or rather made opportunities to communicate to Juliet; waiting for noother encouragement than the absence of Miss Matson, and using no otherprelude than 'Now I've got something else to tell you!'

  Except for some slight mixture of contempt, Juliet heard these taleswith perfect indifference; till that ungenial feeling, or rather absenceof feeling, was superceded by compassion, upon finding that she was theobject, probably the dupe, of a new and unfinished adventure, with whichMiss Matson was as yet unacquainted. 'Now, Miss Ellis!' she cried, 'I'lltell you the drollest part of all, shall I? Well, do you know I've gotanother admirer that's above all the rest? And yet he i'n't a captain,neither, nor an officer. But he's quite a gentleman of quality, for he'sa knight baronight. And he's very pretty, I assure you. As pretty asyou, only his nose is a little shorter, and his mouth is a littlebigger. And he has not got quite so much colour; for he is very pale.But he's prettier than I am, I believe. Yet I'm not very homely, peoplesay. I'm sure I don't know. One can't judge one's self. But I believeI'm very well. At least, I am not very brown; I know that, by mylooking-glass. I've a pretty good skin of my own.'

  Neither the giggling derision of her fellow-work-women, nor the totalabstinence from enquiry or comment with which Juliet heard theseinsignificant details, checked the pleasure of Flora in her own prattle;which, whenever she could find some one to address,--for she waited nottill any one would listen,--went on, with sleepy good humour, andpretty, but unintelligent smiles, from the moment that she rose, to themoment that she went to rest. But when, in great confidence, anddeclaring that nobody was in the secret, except just Miss Biddy, andMiss Jenny, and Miss Polly, and Miss Betsey, she made known who was thislast and most striking admirer, the attention of Juliet was roused; itwas Sir Lyell Sycamore.

  Copiously, and with looks of triumph, Flora related her history with theyoung Baronet. First of all, she said, he had declared, in ever so manylittle whispers, that he was in love with her; and next, he had made herever so many beautiful presents, of ear-rings, necklaces, and trinkets;always sending them by a porter, who pretended that they were justarrived by the Diligence; with a letter to shew to Miss Matson,importing that an uncle of Flora's, who resided in Northumberlandshire,begged her to accept these remembrances. 'Though I'm sure I don't knowhow he found out that I've got an uncle there,' she continued, 'unlessit was by my telling it him, when he asked me what relations I had.'

  Her gratitude and vanity thus at once excited, Sir Lyell told her thathe had some important intelligence to communicate, which could not berevealed in a short whisper in the shop: he begged her, therefore, tomeet him upon the Strand, a little way out of the town, one Sundayafternoon; while Miss Matson might suppose that she was taking her usualrecreation with the rest of the young ladies. 'So I could not refusehim, you may think,' she said, 'after being so much obliged to him; andso we walked together by the sea-side, and he was as agreeable as ever;and so was I, too, I believe, if I may judge without flattery. At least,he said I was, over and over; and he's a pretty good judge, I believe, aman of his quality. But I sha'n't tell you what he said to me; for hesaid I was as fresh as a violet, and as fair as jessamy, and as sweet asa pink, and as rosy as a rose; but one must not over and above believethe gentlemen, mamma says, for what they say is but half a compliment.However, what do you think, Miss Ellis? Only guess! For all his being sopolite, do you know, he was upon the point of behaving rude? Only I toldhim I'd squall out, if he did. But he spoke so pretty when he saw I wasvexed, that I could not be very angry with him about it; could I?Besides, men will be rude, naturally, mamma says.'

  'But does not your mamma tell you, also, Miss Pierson, that you must notwalk out alone with gentlemen?'

  'O dear, yes! She's told me that ever so often. And I told it to SirLyell; and I said to him we had better not go. But he said that wouldkill him, poor gentleman! And he looked as sorrowful as ever you saw;just as if he was going to cry. I'm sure I'm glad he did not, poorgentleman! for if he had, it's ten to one but I should have cried too;unless, out of ill luck, I had happened to fall a laughing; for it'sodds which I do, sometimes, when
I'm put in a fidget. However, uponseeing his sister, along with some company of his acquaintance, not faroff, he said I had better go back: but he promised me, if I would meethim again the next Sunday, he would have a post-chaise o'purpose for me,because of the pebbles being so hard for my feet; and he'd take me everso pretty a ride, he said, upon the Downs. But he came the next morningto tell me he was forced, by ill luck, to go to London; but he'd soon beback: and he bid me, ever so often, not to say one word of what hadpassed to a living creature; for if his sister should get an inkling ofhis being in love with me, there would be fine work, he said! But he'dbring me ever so many pretty things, he said, from London.'

  Juliet listened to this history with the deepest indignation against thebarbarous libertine, who, with egotism so inhuman, sought to rob, firstof innocence, and next, for it would be the inevitable consequence, ofall her fair prospects in life, a young creature whose simplicitydisabled her from seeing her danger; whose credulity induced her toagree to whatever was proposed; and whose weakness of intellect renderedit as much a dishonour as a cruelty to make her a dupe.

  Whatever could be suggested to awaken the simple maiden to a sense ofher perilous situation, was instantly urged; but without any effect. SirLyell Sycamore, she answered, had owned that he was in love with her;and it was very hard if she must be ill natured to him in return;especially as, if she behaved agreeably, nobody could tell but he mightmean to make her a lady. Where a vision so refulgent, which every speechof Sir Lyell's, couched in ambiguous terms, though adroitly evasive ofpromise, had been insidiously calculated to present, was sparkling fullin sight, how unequal were the efforts of sober truth and reason, tosubstitute in its place cold, dull, disappointing reality! Juliet soonrelinquished the attempt as hopeless. Where ignorance is united withvanity, advice, or reproof, combat it in vain. She addressed herremonstrances, therefore, to their fellow-work-women; every one ofwhich, it was evident, was a confidant of the dangerous secret. How wasit, she demanded, that, aware of the ductility of temper of this pooryoung creature, they had suffered her to form so alarming a connexion,unknown either to her friends or to Miss Matson?

  Pettishly affronted, they answered, that they were not a set of fustyduennas: that if Miss Pierson were ever so young, that did not make themold; that she might as well take care of herself, therefore, as they ofthemselves. Besides, nobody could tell but Sir Lyell Sycamore meant tomarry her; and indeed they none of them doubted that such was hisdesign; because he was politeness itself to all of them round, though hewas most particular, to be sure, to Miss Pierson. They could not think,therefore, of making such a gentleman their enemy, any more than ofstanding in the way of Miss Pierson's good fortune; for, to theircertain knowledge, there were more grand matches spoilt by meddling andmaking, than by any thing else upon earth.

  Here again, what were the chances of truth and reason against thesemblance, at least the pretence of generosity, which thus covered follyand imprudence? Each aspiring damsel, too, had some similar secret, orcorrespondent hope of her own; and found it convenient to reject, astreachery, an appeal against a sister work-woman, that might operate asan example for a similar one against herself.

  Juliet, therefore, could but determine to watch the weak, if not willingvictim, while yet under the same roof; and openly, before she quittedit, to reveal the threatening danger to Miss Matson.