Kiss Me Again

by Wood, Vivian

  There is no sign of Grayson.

  I suck in a watery breath, tears obscuring my eyes.

  He’s gone.

  Oh god, he’s really gone.

  I pull myself away from the landslide, rubbing my face. A feeling of numbness begins, right where the heartache starts getting too deep.

  Then I hear a faraway cry. “Rachel!”

  I feel like my whole being freezes.

  Is that real, or is it just in my head? “Gray?”

  I swivel my head, scanning the horizon.

  Nothing.

  Maybe it was just in my imagination, then.

  Then I hear it again, closer this time. “Rachel? Rachel!”

  It’s Grayson, and he sounds desperate.

  “Here!” I call, my gaze swinging around wildly. “I’m over here!”

  Scooting away from the edge, I crawl on my hands and knees until I feel safe standing up. Then I take a few steps in the direction of

  “Rachel!” he calls. “Keep talking to me! Stay right there, I’m coming to you…”

  “I’m here! I’m here!” I yell. “I thought you were lost…”

  Sudden he appears out of nowhere, barreling into me. He hugs my whole body to his larger one, seeming distraught. He crushes my face to his chest. “Oh my god,” he breathes. “Oh my god, you’re all right.”

  I wrap my arms around him, crying openly. “I can’t believe you’re not hurt!”

  He sucks in a breath, holding me so tightly that I see stars for a second. He loosens his hold and I look up at him. He cups my cheek, pushing back my wet hair. I reach up, curling my fingers around the back of his neck. Our lips meet in a desperate, breathless kiss.

  When he pulls back, brushing his fingers across my cheek, there is such immense relief on his face that I start feeling it too. My fingers shake. I can’t stop touching him, can’t stop making sure he’s real.

  I feel like God gave me another chance with him. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. I need to tell him how I feel, even if cuts me open and leaves me bleeding.

  “I love you,” I blurt out.

  He looks stunned. “You do?”

  “Of course I do.” My eyes well with fresh tears. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Grayson.”

  He looks at me very seriously. “I love you too, Rachel. I’ve never loved anyone else. It’s always been only you.”

  I reach up on my tiptoes to kiss him again, tears running down my face. “I love you so damn much it seems unreal.”

  Grayson grips me hard again. “God damn it. I can’t ever lose you like that. I won’t.”

  I look up into his blue eyes. “That sounds a lot like a promise.”

  He kisses me hard, leaving me a little breathless. “It should. I can’t promise that I will be a perfect man, but I can promise that I will love you like no one else can. You’re mine. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe.”

  “I don’t care if I’m safe, I only care that I’m with you.”’

  “Then I’ll do what I can to make sure we can be together,” he utters, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against mine. “Anything you want. If it is in my power, I will give it to you.”

  Before I can respond, the ground shakes and rumbles again. I almost lose my breath.

  “We have to go,” he whispers harshly, looking my in the eyes. “We have to get off of this damn mountain before another landslide happens.”

  My eyes widen. “Is that common?”

  “Who the fuck knows?” He glances around. “I lost my flashlight.”

  I look around. “Mine should be here somewhere…”

  I spot it, grabbing it off the ground. He takes it from me, clicking the beam on.

  Shining it on the ground ahead, Grayson takes me by the hand and leads me downward through the woods.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Rachel

  When we finally stumble into Whiskey Bend we are without our backpacks and we looks like we have been sleeping rough in the wilderness. Nate is instantly there the second he realizes that something bad has happened to Grayson and I. He demands explanations and then pushes us toward our bunks.

  He pushes us off to shower and rest. We go willingly, piling into my bed. Exhaustion pulls me down, plucking at my tired mind. I let its gravity settle on me as I slip into darkness.

  When I wake, it’s early afternoon. Grayson is laying still with his arms behind his head, watching the fan blades move. I’m sprawled out on top of his chest, my wet hair still drying. Grayson doesn’t seem to mind, or at least he doesn’t seem to notice.

  But maybe that’s because he’s worried about something. There is something on his mind, I can tell.

  “Hey,” I say.

  He looks down, his lips lifting a little. “Hey.”

  “Did you sleep?”

  He shrugs. “A little.”

  I swallow, pushing my doubts aside. Yesterday was the time for that; today is the time for courage. Though I don’t feel courageous, I ask him anyway.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  He glances off, out the window. “I was wondering what I will have to do to keep my promise to you.”

  My brows creep up. His answer was not what I was expecting. “What do you mean?”

  “I just… I meant what I said, Whatever you want, if it’s within my power, I want to give it to you. You want marriage? A white picket fence? A family?”

  “Oh. Well…” I take a breath, holding it for a second before releasing it. “I would eventually like to be married. And kids… I mean, probably not yet, but…”

  He scrubs a hand over his face. “Yeah. But… you’ll want them eventually.”

  I shrug. “Maybe.” I reach out and take his hand, entwining my fingers with his. “Are you worried about being able to provide for me?”

  “Of course.”

  “I don’t need the white picket fence, you know.”

  His blue eyes dart back to meet mine. “But if you want that, that’s what you should have. You shouldn’t be giving up anything just to be with me.”

  I reach up, brushing his hair off his forehead. “Who says I am?”

  He squeezes my hand. “I’m serious.”

  “So am I. You think I don’t know exactly who you are and what you have to offer? You’re wrong. I do know. And I don’t love you despite that. I love you because of it.”

  “You say that now—”

  I interrupt, irritated. “No. I have spent the last ten years of my life trying to give you my heart. Either you’ll take it, or you won’t. Which will it be?”

  He takes a breath. “I would do anything to keep it.”

  “So? Now you have it. We never have to have a conversation again in which the premise is whether or not you deserve to have my heart. You already have it.” I kiss the back of his hand. “Now let’s move on.”

  Grayson watches me for two beats, then kisses me possessively. There are no words, not just then. We are just two beings, each needing what the other can offer. He is the oxygen to my flame, allowing me to grow ever larger because of his presence.

  For a time we are lost, getting stoned and drunk on each other. For now, it’s all we need.

  Hours later, Nate doesn’t even raise an eyebrow when he finds us both in an exhausted pile in my bed. He smirks a little, but that is all.

  “I brought you food and some coconut water,” he says. “I guess I don’t have to ask you where Grayson is sleeping.”

  I glance at Grayson. His lips lift a little. “I guess not.”

  Setting the tray of food down, Nate sighs. “Rachel, we should talk when you are feeling better…”

  I sit up a little. “About Civicore canceling my funding?”

  “Err…” Nate looks a little startled. “Yes, actually.”

  Wrinkling my nose, I nod. “I was expecting to hear from you. My father and I have already had words over this.”

  Grayson sits up a little straighter. He’s obviou
sly not comfortable with Nate seeing us in bed, but it’s not like we are naked and moaning or anything. He clears his throat.

  “It was to be expected. Rachel’s family is pretty controlling.” He looks from Nate to me. “I’m not sure what we will do, but we won’t make decisions based on what your father says.”

  That makes my eyes mist over for some reason. I slip my hand into his and smile sadly.

  “I imagine that Civicore is not just cutting my funding. I bet they are also writing the National Park Service a big fat check the second I leave. Am I right?”

  Nate sighs. “There has been talk of an endowment, yes. I am just hearing this fourth hand, of course. Everything is happening in D.C., behind closed doors.”

  I sigh. “Of course.”

  Nate shifts. “I am more than willing to help you both. You just have to tell me what you want. Do you want to stay here, Rachel?”

  I gulp, my gaze going to Grayson. He lifts his brows.

  “I don’t think we’ve talked about what we want yet,” Grayson admits. “But we will. Tonight, after we get some sleep.”

  “Of course.” Nate bows. “Get some rest. I’ll try to catch up with you later.”

  He slips away. I move to get up, but Grayson reaches out and holds me back. “We do need to talk. We have to figure out what is best. Whether it is for you to go back—”

  “No,” I cut him off, shaking my head. “The very idea that I would leave you—”

  Grayson’s expression is fiery.

  “But what about your inheritance? Your father uses money to manipulate those around him. I don’t doubt that he will find some way to torture you.”

  I grip his hand. “So? So I will be slightly uncomfortable. I’ll have to leave my comfort zone. I’m fine with that. The question is, are you?”

  He cups my cheek and leans in close to brush a kiss against my lips. “If it means I get to keep you by my side, I will do anything.”

  My lips curl up. “Anything?”

  He chuckles. “Yes. I mean what I say.”

  I burrow into his touch, nuzzling the palm he leans against my cheek.

  “Then it’s settled. No matter what we do, we do it together. I can face anything as long I have you to lean on.”

  He exhales. “Even if that means learning to live out in the middle of nowhere? And with a fraction of the comforts you are used to?”

  “Even then.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not really so bad. I mean… walking away from my family money will be hard, but not impossible. You’ll see.”

  He kisses me again briefly, then leans his forehead against my own. “Where should we live?”

  I shrug. “Anywhere you want. Aren’t you building a house?”

  “Yes.” He grins. “That would be a big change for you, though.”

  “I think I’m going to be making several big changes. That will just be the first one of many.”

  He takes a big breath. “You are really ready for all of this change?”

  I grip his hand. “As long as you’re there, I probably won’t notice.”

  “Alright.” He bends me back a little, kissing me hard. “It’s a deal.”

  A little bit breathless, I wriggle out of his grasp. “You keep the bed warm. I have to pee again.”

  He sends me the most wicked glance, rubbing my empty spot on the bed. “Hurry back. I have plans for you when you return…”

  My heart shouldn’t speed up at that offer, but it does. I nod, biting my lower lip, and quickly let myself out of our cabin. I go down to the bathroom, my mind preoccupied with wondering if I’m going to get any of my things from New York or not. Maybe I’ll just start over, a completely clean slate.

  The idea is pretty appealing.

  As I walk out of the bathroom, I round a corner and bump into two people who are entwined, kissing. I start to apologize before I even see who it is. “Sorry—”

  The two people jump apart, looking guilty. It’s Aiden and Olivia.

  Olivia’s eyes bug out. “Rachel!” She swings her look to Aiden. “We were just… um… I didn’t know you were here…”

  “I was helping her get an eyelash,” Aiden says. “It was stuck in her eye.”

  I look between them, confused. They must think I’m stupid or something. “What are you doing here, Olivia?”

  Olivia clears her throat. “Um… applying for jobs. I’m supposed to get a summer internship just like you did.” Her eyes narrow. “What are you doing back here?”

  Shrugging, I stare both of them down. “Grayson and I were almost killed in a landslide. So we are back early, I guess.”

  Aiden clears his throat. “Where is Grayson?”

  “In my cabin.” My cheeks turn pink. “Maybe I should get him. We can all meet up outside the dining hall and…” I cast my gaze over Olivia again. “I guess we should all talk.”

  “Great. I’ll see you all there,” Aiden announces. “I have to grab some stuff from my Jeep anyway.”

  He strides off, leaving me to stare at Olivia. Her cheeks are pink and she can’t quite meet my gaze.

  “Don’t,” she says. “Please don’t say anything to my brother.”

  I feel nothing but pity for her. “Aiden? Really, of all the people in your brother’s life, you picked Aiden to make out with?”

  She shrugs. “It just happened. It’s not a big deal. He’ll kiss anyone.”

  “Well, you had better come up with a better lie to tell your brother when he asks why you’re here. You’re supposed to be three thousand miles away, getting ready to find a job.”

  She rolls her eyes. “That’s between me and my brother.” She looks at me directly. “What do I have to promise to you in order for whatever you suspect is happening to stay under wraps?”

  I lift a shoulder. “I have enough problems of my own to worry about for now. But…” I bite my lip briefly. “I really don’t think Aiden is any good for you. He’s a player.”

  She shakes her head. “I know that already. You’re painting with too fine of a brush here. You think that everybody is emotionally involved, but I’m not like you.”

  I crook a brow. “Really?”

  “Really.” She crosses her arms. “Now please, let me conduct my own affairs as I see fit.”

  “Fine.” I scrunch up my face. “When Gray finds out about this — and he will, if you don’t stop — please leave me out of it.”

  I turn, leaving her there. My mind is awhirl, but one thing sticks out to me. Grayson and I are worried about ourselves, but everyone else has their own things on their minds. Maybe my father does too…

  Although what his mind is preoccupied with is impossible to know. Heaving a sigh, I trudge toward the cabin.

  Chapter Forty

  Grayson

  I’m still glaring at Olivia, trying to figure out why she is here. She and Aiden sit on one side of the mess hall table, Rachel and I sit on this side. Olivia mumbled something about trying to get an internship here for next year, but she blushed the entire time she said it. That makes me think it was a lie.

  “Hey,” Rachel whispers in my ear. Her hand on my leg creeps upward, making me wish I could close my eyes and just enjoy her advances. “Are you almost ready for bed?”

  That brings a smile to my lips. I look at her. “Almost.”

  Rachel is doing her best to distract me, sitting close to me and kissing me regularly. I guess there is no need to hide our relationship, but still. It’s a little shocking to me.

  Aiden pushes himself up from the table at the mess hall. “Well… I am sure that you and Rachel have somewhere you’d rather be than here.”

  “Aiden, I wanted to talk to you before you leave,” I interject.

  A strange look passes over his expression for a second. “Yeah?”

  My eyes focus on his face. He’s hiding something, but I don’t know what it is. “Yeah. It doesn’t have to be tonight though.”

  The relief on his face is evident enough to redouble my suspicions. I rub my shoul
der, watching him with narrowed eyes.

  Lucky for him, Nate suddenly appears at the end of our table. His energy is nervous and twitchy, his face sweaty.

  “Rachel, your father is here. And he’s not alone.”

  Rachel springs to her feet. “What? Where?” She pauses. “Who did he bring?”

  “An army of lawyers and a fucking senator.”

  I stand up. “Fuck.”

  How am I supposed to protect her against that?

  Rachel looks at me, her hand finding mine. She looks nervous. “I didn’t know that he would come out here.”

  I squeeze her hand. “He knows that you are important.”

  “Mr. Black is asking for you, Rachel. I sent the whole party to my office to wait.” Nate looks nonplussed. “What should I tell him?”

  She tosses her hair, gripping my hand all the harder. “Nothing. I’ll deal with my father.”

  She looks back to me though, her concern evident. I can’t help but worry, because her gaze is not nearly as confident as her words.

  The fact that her father makes her feel so uncertain makes me feel angry. I wish I could do something, threaten someone, or fight them maybe. Somehow though I don’t think that would help Rachel all that much.

  She clears her throat, tugging my hand. “Will you face my father with me?”

  “Of course.” I keep my expression neutral. I want to shout and beat my chest, scream that I would do anything for her. But I don’t. “Anything you want.”

  She squeezes my hand and takes in a big breath. “Then let’s go.”

  Nate sets off, practically twitching he is so nervous. Rachel trails after him and I follow her. We head out of the mess hall and down the stairs, around the corner to Nate’s office. Here already I see several men in suits waiting impatiently outside the office.

  That doesn’t bode well for Mr. Black’s temperament.

  We file past them, stepping into Nate’s already crowded office. It looks like an ad for expensive suits and unpronounceable colognes in here right now, with men crammed around the back of the room. My eyes immediately go to Mr. Black, who is seated in Nate’s chair. Dressed in a nice suit and graying more at the temples than I remember, he smiles at us. But his smile is cold; it doesn’t reach his eyes. Rachel doesn’t look much like him but she has his eyes.