Karma of Kalpana

by T. L Smith

  Protests rushed through my arteries as they tried to regain control, but I stumbled across the room to Carl, collapsing at his side. My hands pressed down upon his chest and every thought within me flowed like ethereal arms into his body. Finding his soul in their grasp. I wrapped my will around him.

  He felt me and it gave him strength as I fought for his life. “I won’t let you kill him.”

  The struggle eased, but not their grip. “We do not kill our own, but bring him home.”

  “He doesn’t want to go. He made a life here, with me. You don’t have the right to steal it back now.” I clung to Carl. “If you’re so wise, you’d be able to see the truth.” I felt them, but I also felt his spirit fading, unable to cling to me with their power overwhelming him. “I won’t let you take him. I promised him I’d never let go.”

  For a moment I thought they would relent, until they broke my fragile hold on Carl and tossed me aside. I clawed at the floor, through icy hands pushing me back. Everett filled my space, his large hands crushing Carl’s chest to restore his breathing. Huracid backed away. Uncertainty surged from him. This was not what he envisioned, not what he had trusted. I stretched a hand out for help.

  Huracid made his choice. His tremendous hand closed around mine and his bruising grip swung me back across the floor just as the Elders turned their attack on him. I heard the crash of his heavy armor on the steel bulkhead of the dayroom, at the same time I fell across Carl.

  I threw my mind and soul back into the battle raging inside him. The Elders turned frantic with my assault against them. I fought with every spark of energy they’d awakened inside me. I knew fighting might kill us both, but I didn’t care.

  Suddenly they released their tug-of-war for Carl’s soul. I collapsed in fatigue, but through my fingers I felt Carl breathe, labored, shallow, but a breath. I clung to him with real arms. A hand on my shoulder, unfelt until now, gave a trembling squeeze, before Everett crumbled to the floor too.

  I looked up to see the dayroom littered with dazed soldiers. “Computer, Red Alert, I need medical teams.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “She hasn’t moved in hours. Won’t eat. Won’t speak. I don’t like this.” The doctor spoke softly over his com, his back to the quiet bodies filling the sickbay. “I want to move them, but these Regurak bull-dogs of hers refuse, saying they’re following her orders. Our guys…some are still dazed, but you know how they stick together. They all seem under… I don’t know, under her influence.”

  I let my breath out slowly, leading two souls with me towards calm. Towards rest. Everett and the soldier who’d tried to lend his strength to my battle were finally safe again. But I still couldn’t reach Carl, nor his Elder.

  With a few more breaths I slipped back into the physical world. “No one’s under my influence.” I resisted opening my eyes, the lights too bright. “There’s nothing on your ship to hasten their recovery.” I sensed one of Huracid’s guards and spoke to him. His language flowed from my lips as naturally as if I’d spoken it from birth. The guard bowed deep and left the room.

  “Ma’am, I mean no disrespect, but if I transfer them, I can do more intensive tests, particularly on Mr. Lambert. I’m concerned about damage to his neuro-network. Also, your behavior has…” The doctor was suddenly embarrassed, afraid of me. It flowed out of him like sweat. “…you’ve changed.”

  “Again, nothing you can fix.” He intended well, but was of no use to me. I focused my wants deeply upon him. “The EH are recovering. They just need rest now. I will need more time with Carl.”

  “But ma’am—"

  I pushed my will a bit harder. “You can return to your ship. If there is a change requiring medical assistance, you will be called.”

  “I can’t leave…” The doctor started to argue, but his eyebrows furrowed and his thoughts jumbled, before echoing me. “…there seems nothing for me to do here. You’ll call if you need anything?”

  “If we need you, yes.”

  Slightly befuddled, he left believing it was of his own will.

  It allowed me to return my attention to Carl. Everett lay to his side and the other EH in the last bed. The EH posted at the sickbay door had been affected too, but not as extensively. When Everett merged his talents to mine, Elders energy flooded into him, then to the EH helping him. Then somehow out to all the C345 EH.

  With that energy went little tidbits of the information the Elders pressed into me. Enough that their entire existence had been thrown into question. But they were being stoic, standing beside Everett. And me.

  Heavy footsteps pulled my attention away again. Huracid entered and I eased out of the chair, slowly. Abused muscles objected as I stood up. I focused on Huracid instead of my own pain. “You’re not seriously injured?”

  “Armor protected me.” Huracid offered a hand of support. “How is their recovery?”

  “The EH are stable and resting. I can’t… I can’t feel any progress with Carl.” I stood beside him, my heart aching, but my entire body and mind numb. “I need to rest before I try again.” I took Huracid’s hand and let him support me as I left the med lab.

  I glanced into my dayroom as we passed. Though both alpha breeds, a bond between the Regurak and EH had grown over the days they’d been thrown together. My dayroom served as neutral ground, but today the mood was somber. Even if I couldn’t see his face, I knew Huracid also felt the EH’s agony.

  I blocked them all out, going to the solitude of my quarters. From my portal the stars were visible again. “They’re not gone, just shifted out of our spectrum. Resistance wasn’t what they anticipated.” I looked back at Huracid standing so solid and still, but beneath an intense emotion… guilt radiated. “Their actions have left you disillusioned.”

  “Disillusion…yes.” Huracid approached to look out into the darkness. He knew they were still there too. “How long before they return? Will you fight again?”

  I stared out into the darkness. “Not long, but I won’t fight this time. After thousands of years and all these lives, I have no choice but to surrender. That’s the only way we’ll know what the end purpose is.”

  Dissatisfaction rumbled from Huracid’s chest. “Surrender to betrayers? Your people…”

  “My people? Except for Carl, I’m not sure who that is anymore.” I looked up at Huracid again. He couldn’t understand how deeply this ran. “Maybe surrender is the wrong word. They designed me for an ultimate duty. Something threatens us all, something even they fear.”

  I pointed to the stars. “Try to imagine what is so terrifying that these Elders forced me to live a thousand lives? What belief in the future had them teaching your people to watch the stars? For me, for the EH. What are we supposed to stand up to?”

  His anger turned to curiosity, but I only shook my head, heading off his questions. “I won’t know more until I meet them again, but I need to get my head together. I need Everett’s guidance. I need Carl!” I took a breath, emotions trying desperately to burst through my exhaustion. “Stay with them? I don’t want them alone.”

  Huracid leaned over me. “You are my only duty. I do as you bid. Rest.”

  I crawled into my bunk. My head settled into Carl’s pillow and exhaustion washed over me. His scent took me into dreams and there he waited, coaxing me into a soft golden haze.

  I took his hand and from the touch of our intertwined fingers, I felt peaceful. His arms restored the feeling of safety I always felt there. Everything else disappeared.

  When all the darkness was gone from my mind, Carl eased his arms free. He raised his hands into the fine golden mist and the sadness on his face also melted away. The cloud settled around us, cool and energizing. It clung to my skin, swirling into my blood and rushing deeper into my body, into my heart, into my brain. Aches and pains, physical and emotional dissolved.

  Eventually the cloud faded away, or we totally absorbed it. I turned to look into Carl’s eyes.

  He smiled down at me. “You have come a long way,
my love.”

  “We’ve come a long way, together.” I reached for his face.

  Unexpectedly, Carl backed away from me, away from my caress. His eyes changed. Sadness tainted the deep blue again. “This has always been your journey.”

  “No, it’s our journey!” I reached for him again, even though in my heart I knew I wouldn’t be able to touch him. “I can’t do this alone. I won’t let you go. I know you don’t want to be one of them again.”

  “No, I want to be with you, but I can’t.” Carl touched his hand to his chest. “This heart beat for only you. This Elder soul never knew such excellent confusion. The heights of love, the depths of loss. In my many lives I learned what it is to be human. The Elders have forgotten. I can take that memory back to them.” He took a step further from me. “That is where I will best serve you now.”

  “No! They’re too powerful. You’ll get lost.” I took steps towards him, but his form was fading away. “Carl, please don’t leave me.”

  His voice was only a whisper. “I have no choice.” His hand waved over his human form. “The spirit is strong, but the body can go no further. Another already stands beside you.” His image was almost gone. “Go. Help us in these last breaths.”

  I woke with a start. The dream wasn’t my imagination. Carl called to me. I rushed out of my quarters. Soldiers opened a path without a word, letting me into the med lab. Huracid stood over Carl, while Everett leaned against the wall for support. Their thoughts echoed the dream that urged me here.

  I shut them out and went to Carl, interlacing my fingers with his, just as we had in the dream. His eyes were open, but his breath short.

  As much as I wanted to beg him to stay, I could feel his body failing. A body that was never supposed to have survived horrendous injury. I fought my own needs, focusing on him as he tried to speak. “Shhhh… Don’t try to explain. I heard you.” I leaned as close as I could, fighting the crushing impulse to cry.

  “His neuro-network is completely burnt out. His circulation is crippled.” The doctor stood at the bottom of the bed. Someone had called him back. “Toxins have infiltrated his body and his organs are failing. The damage is… irreparable. Even if we were at a major hospital. This procedure was… experimental… at best.”

  “Not now!” I’d felt his disapproval since taking Carl as a patient, and understood. Carl had made it abundantly clear how inhumane this had been. But I hadn’t cared. It brought him to me. Now it was taking him away. Even an Elder couldn’t run from fate forever.

  I felt him reach out to me. One last time. I squeezed his hand harder. “I know. It’s no longer our choice.” I wiped sweat from his forehead. There was so much I wanted to say, but he had to go. “I have always loved you.” I kissed him gently and felt his last breath leave.

  Alarms from the monitors sounded, but the doctor quickly turned them off, then jumped away as Carl’s body trembled. I didn’t move as a shimmering ethereal creature drifted upwards. His Elder soul taking a form everyone could see.

  The entity lingered for a moment, as if honoring his mortal vessel, then turned to where I stood. He engulfed me with an embrace, very much like my dream. Freed from a body that suffered for years, he flowed around me in an incredible tranquility.

  As he pulled away, I thought he would leave, but he swiftly darted towards Everett. Enveloping him. I could see Everett frozen, unable to move or speak. I tried to use my talents to intervene, but my attempts were pushed aside. I pushed back. “Carl!” His entity released Everett. For just an instant he passed over Huracid too, and then disappeared.

  Huracid recovered instantly, grabbing for Everett as he fell to his knees. Everett huffed for air. I knelt to help him too, but he pushed me away, roughly. His thoughts remained blocked, but I could see his eyes focus upon me, startled, confused and angry. He gripped Huracid’s arm and pulled himself to his feet. He didn’t speak, leaving the med lab.

  A part of me thought to follow, but not with the wall I felt Everett pull tight around himself. Instead I turned back to the body, the shell of what had been my friend and lover, wondering what to do. I closed the eyes of the body before me and let Huracid escort me back to my quarters.

  I didn’t ask what happened with Carl’s Elder, but I sensed the anger had been wiped away. I left it that way.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Alone I grieved. Carl wasn’t really dead, but he wasn’t beside me anymore. In my mind I heard his voice, consoling me, encouraging me to continue down the path. Through him I gained some peace, enough to face the Elders again.

  Shut up in my quarters where no one else could be harmed, I let them merge with me again. They unveiled the universe from their unique perspective. Their existence so far removed from anything I could understand. Before.

  When I finally emerged from my room, I knew what I had to do. Entering the dayroom, boots hit the floor at my unexpected arrival. I moved quietly to the galley. One soldier at the counter quickly poured me a cup of coffee. His eyebrows furrowed as he realized half-way through adding creamer, I hadn’t actually asked for it. He finished and handed me the cup.

  I carried my coffee over to the portal, looking out at the two ships. Behind me the soldiers picked up my silent request, their belongings, and left. It wasn’t long before I felt someone return. I resisted the urge to simply open my mind for him. He’d been forcibly pulled into contact enough.

  Staring out into stars, I spoke softly. “There is an enemy approaching. The Punitraq. The Elders drove them off once before, when they still had bodies such as ours. They no longer possess the physical ability, so it will be up to us and we have very little time to prepare.” I turned to look at Everett.

  He looked older. Through his eyes, I looked different too, though it wasn’t age. It was deeper, my own elder rising to the surface. “It is time to fulfill our destiny.”

  Everett stepped forward. “You know this?”

  “As do you, but I’ve had time to communicate with the Elders. To unscramble their earlier messages.” I looked back out the portal, beyond the ships and planet, out into distant space. “War is coming. One unlike any we have ever seen, if we don’t stop them now.”

  “It’s going to take more than your word to convince anyone we’re about to be attacked.” Everett shook his head, picking up thoughts I let flow his way. My time with the Elders further changed my talents, and since their touch he also possessed more than he wanted to acknowledge.

  I gestured to the portal and the Elder cloud materialized. “It’s not my word. I carry more than their voice. So do you. All EH carry a part of them.” Having Everett’s full attention, I stopped suppressing the energy inside me. “I am the link between Elders and EH. If you allow me, they will show you the truth of what we are. Not just the fragments haunting you.”

  “Yet you asked my men to leave.” His tone changed as he allowed himself to see what I intended. His eyebrow flicked upwards. “I can get answers to everything?”

  I held my hand out to him.

  Everett’s jaw flexed, struggling with whether to accept my offer. Given a choice, any EH would give up everything that made them different. To not have expectations thrust upon them from birth. To enjoy normal lives, normal families. I understood, but offered the opposite curse.

  He glared at me, but took my hand.

  * * * * *

  Everett didn’t speak to me for days afterwards, but did my bidding. Huracid sent out orders to the Collective, to converge upon Ceris M.

  Finally allowed outside communications, Major Adkins reported his strange story of being captured by the Regurak, the loss of a crewman, their abduction to Ceris M., the missing colonists, the arrival of yet another alien contingency, Carl’s subsequent death and the total defection of his crew to a cargo captain. A female EH with the power to mesmerize humans, EH and alien alike. Including himself.

  To the IGF it made for a bizarre unbelievable tale, except for an entire Med-Evac cruiser disappearing for weeks. They’d suspect
ed an accident, maybe even pirates. Aliens were not on the suspect list and still weren’t as Everett confirmed Adkins’ rabid rant.

  The sight of Huracid wasn’t totally convincing, but the IGF Command was human and humans were territorial. The thought that someone had invaded our galaxy got them to send a squadron to investigate this ‘first contact’, and any impending threat.

  I demanded a higher response, but they refused, until Huracid informed them the Collective was sending an entire fleet of ships. That struck another human trait. Ego. Leave it to humans to not be outdone. The numbers went up, but still far lower than what I needed or wanted.

  Frustrated, I ended contact, dismissing everyone, but Everett. I stared out the portal for a while, leaving him standing there.

  “What disturbs you? They’re coming.”

  “I need EH, not humans.”

  “They’re part of the package.”

  I swung away from the portal. “That’s not what I mean and you know it.” Everett looked away from my glare, even though I hadn’t meant to be so brusque. “I’m sorry. There’s just so much to process, so much to do, and I’m not doing it right. I need to make them understand that we need the EH here.”

  “How do we make them understand something even we don’t understand completely? The Elders shared, but not as much as we need. Like why us? Really.”

  A deep sigh escaped my chest. I communed with the Elders daily and had yet to get a clear answer on how they’d pulled off some genetic coup, leading to the creation of me, and the EH.

  I collapsed down into the pillows I’d laid around the portal. The place I came to look out upon them. Where I waited for our sessions. “The answers are there, waiting.”

  Everett sat down on the far edge of my nest, preparing to monitor me as I gave myself over to them. I was comfortable and closed my eyes, letting it happen. It was so much easier now, surrendering to the Elders, letting them flood into my brain. There was a moment of lightheadedness that spread slowly outward, over my whole body.