Karma of Kalpana

by T. L Smith

  He took another step backwards from me. “That… that isn’t what I meant.” He tried to sound all tough, but he was giving ground.

  I filled it. “And secondly, I don’t expect to do anything without real intel. That’s why we, the Collective, is going to dispatch ships to verify the threat.” I tapped at my com. “Huracid?” I never took my eyes off Joe.

  “Malant Ghiya.” He answered immediately.

  “Huracid. You have ships ready and capable of deep recon missions to penetrate enemy territory.” It wasn’t a question. “Are they capable of also carrying a human scout class ship?”

  “Yes, Malant Ghiya. Commander Faraday and myself were discussing that mission.”

  “How long before we can launch said mission?”

  “Awaiting your order. Malant Ghiya.” There was a pause. “Commander Faraday can have a ship prepared in six hours.”

  I stopped pursuing the commander. “If you agree, Joe? Maybe you would like to accompany that mission, to seek the proof you demand?”

  He’d talked himself into this corner. He glanced at the other commanders and saw that none of them were going to speak up for him. Commander Gardner had that smirk on her face again. He looked back at me, trying to square his shoulders and cling to the rest of his dignity. “I will leave that in Commander Faraday’s hands… Malant Ghiya.”

  “So glad you approve.” I felt the presence of the Elders and their approval as well. They whispered to me with a sense of urgency. An odd feeling from beings who had evolved to the point where time was irrelevant to them.

  But not to us. “Commander Gardner.” I turned in her direction. She bowed her head to me, removing the smirk. “It is imperative we leave this place, soon. Two days. The Elders will provide coordinates and we will take an advance team to our next destination. The Collective ships will follow with the IGF ships.” I felt a wave of eagerness from her and the colonel. “I would like you to accompany us. I need your battle experience and leadership.”

  “I would be honored.”

  I looked to Everett and he nodded. He had picked up on the sudden change of plans transmitted from the Elders. “I will coordinate the missions.”

  “Please. I need to leave.”

  My guard of EH snapped to attention. As much as I wanted him with me, he had a job to do. I left the war room. They closed ranks around me as we made our way through the ship. Blocking out the chaos of so many minds, so many thoughts. They escorted me back to the quiet of my own ship, where I could commune with the Elders in private.

  There was much to do before launching into war.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Everett stared at the ceiling, transfixed on thoughts he kept to himself. I didn’t pry. We’d reached a point where we weren’t offended by intrusion or isolation. I had my own thoughts. Outside the portal lay ships in shapes I knew, shapes I never imagined, intermingled as if always together, as if always allies. And here I was, in the middle of it all.

  He shifted his thoughts. “I’ll keep you safe, here and out there.”

  “I know, but for a few hours I’d don’t want to think about that. Or anything. If that’s possible.” It wasn’t. I’d given a deadline to start for what I sensed was the Elder home world. The coordinates of which had me stuck in one verbal battle after another.

  Harding wasn’t the only human to claim we EH were free, but hated not being in control of us. Hated not being our sole creators. Their hidden God complexes were crushed by the prospect that we were somehow evolving. Leaving them behind.

  Others objected for more tangible reasons. We were handing IGF ships and soldiers over to the full control of the Collective. We were leaving our own galaxy for another, with no way home if this mission turned bad. They argued over who should be in charge.

  They certainly opposed it being me. They couldn’t even decide how to refer to me, politely. Harding had a name for me. Not saying it out loud and in self-denial that I heard it anyway. He considered me nothing but a lowly cargo captain, possessed by the most unfathomable of aliens. The same aliens who killed Carl and used me to seduce Everett and the EH into the Collective’s trap. I was all too confusing and sordid for them.

  I was all too confusing for me too. A singular entity, able to communicate to all, but knowing the Elders still withheld information from me. Another task for me they weren’t ready to reveal yet. A part of me wanted to know, another part seemed to know already, but wasn’t sharing either, and a huge part of me was terrified to find out the truth.

  But for all that, of all the factions, the humans wore me down the most.

  “They can’t help it.” He pulled the blanket back, patting the bed.

  It had been a long, exhausting day. IGF finally confirmed Commander Gardner as mission commander. Commander Faraday invited us aboard his ship, giving us an Ambassador Suite. My little freighter disappeared somewhere into the bowels of Huracid’s colossal ship. I wondered, as I looked across to his ship if I’d ever see her again. A part of me wished we were over there, among aliens who accepted us, than here.

  “Really, it’s not their fault.” Everett thumped the bed again, urging me away from the portal. I went to him, sitting down on the bed, letting him pull me into it. He leaned over my shoulder. “Imagine the crush to their egos. They’re finally invited to the universal party, only to find out they have to sit at the kiddy table.” Everett kissed my forehead and looked out at the ships beyond. “Nowhere did they imagine anything like this, so be patient with them. Let them have their little victories. Besides, Huracid was quite clear we wouldn’t be comfortable there.”

  I reached out to hit the control next to our bed, blacking out the portal. “I don’t want to think about them, what they’re thinking about me.”

  Every step through the ship I’d been bombarded by the worst gossip crossing human minds. It stung, making my teeth hurt from clenching them.

  “I just want to be alone for a few hours.”

  “No you don’t.” Everett pulled me back, and in the light gravity, easily tossed me over him and into the pillows. The weight of his chest pinned me down. “You don’t want to be alone, no matter what some narrow-minded imbeciles think.”

  His hands caught at mine; weaving our fingers together as his lips brushed mine. “I hear what they think of me too.” He whispered as he nibbled at my ear. “There goes the colonel, worshipping at the feet of his EH Goddess.”

  “Colonel, I like the sound of that. Who’d guess they’d give you a field promotion. But you know what they’re all saying about…” I started to open my mind to his, to reach out my thoughts. “Ouch!” I pulled my head away as he bit my neck, his mind was closed to me.

  “Not yet!” Everett stared at me, his hands shifted to catch both my wrists in one grip, his other hand moved slowly down my arm, his fingers barely touching my skin. His fingers were so light, tickling through my soft robe. “If I’m being accused of debauchery, I damn-well intend to earn my reputation, my little Hindu goddess.” He pulled my robe open and bent down to brush his lips down my stomach. “Believe me, it’s not your feet I worship.”

  I laughed as his lips tickled, twisting my hands where he held them down.

  “No you don’t!” He pulled at the belt of my robe and twisted it around my wrists.”

  “What are you doing?” I laughed and squirmed beneath him as he held me down and tied my hands to the railing of our bed.

  Everett kissed me, grinning. “Bad things, my love. All night, if that’s what it takes.”

  He quickly took my breath away, making me laugh one second, then thrash in total erotic agony the next. He made sure the only thoughts I entertained was what he’d do to me next.

  By morning I was content enough to step back and let everyone else give orders, as we prepared to leave. Which we couldn’t, until I managed to get dressed.

  It should have been easy, except for the move to Faraday’s ship. After so many years in my tiny cabin, I had too much space, even if I was
sharing it with Everett. My few belongings were in disarray, mixed in with his. I was disoriented and disorganized. I’d never shared the same space with anyone. Carl had his own cabin, when I needed space, but not with Everett. There was a lot of changes I had to get used to.

  But living arrangements wasn’t the only change I had to make. Everett insisted I put away the saris and dress for my role. Faraday’s quartermaster tailored a set of formal uniforms for me, but with no insignia. He’d made them too fitted.

  The pants stretched tight over my skin, accentuating every curve. The overcoat snapped so tight it was impossible to breathe. I couldn’t even fasten the top clasp. I had to leave it undone, exposing cleavage. With the tall Jackboots, I looked like an adventure figure from a vidgame.

  Everett stood by the door, waiting, watching, smiling as I pulled my hair over my shoulder and gave it a loose half-braid, trying to drape it over my over-exposed chest. “You look fine. Quit fidgeting.”

  “Yeah, tell me tonight when you have to peel this outfit off me…, oh, shut up.” I blocked out his lewd anticipation of the prospect. “I’m ready, but expect you to filter out the periphery.”

  “I got you covered.” Everett wrapped his hand around my waist, guiding me out the door. Immediately his barriers wrapped around me, snug, comforting. He helped shut out the constant din of everyone’s thoughts and emotions. The imminent launch had everyone projecting excitement, at deafening tones.

  But barriers didn’t shut out the looks. I fought off the burning of my cheeks as dozens of eyes gazed at me in passing. One man let his thoughts run away from him, his mouth gaping as he stared at me. He hurriedly looked away, embarrassed. By now everyone knew I was fully telepathic. I tugged at the tightly tailored ribbing of the jacket. “I hate this outfit.”

  Everett squeezed my elbow to stop me from squirming. “People need visual stimuli to know you’re more than EH. You should stand out.”

  “There’s a difference between standing out and popping out.” I bristled at his thought and deliberately tugged at my jacket again, avoiding his attempt to repress my reaction. “You don’t get what it’s like, not knowing who you are. I’m not human or EH. You don’t get it at all.”

  Everett gripped my elbow and pulled me to a stop. At the same time he gave our escort a jerk of his head. His aide and my two guards backed off. “You’re right. And I’m sorry.” His eyes shifted down the corridor, to the set of doors only a few meters away. “But whatever you are, you’re not a cargo jockey anymore. We’re going to war and everybody on that bridge, on this mission, needs see and sense confidence from you. So, get it together!”

  Admonished, I quit fidgeting. It was clear Everett wouldn’t let me wallow in self-degradation. My head flooded with imagery. I saw exactly what he saw, when it was just me working with the Elders and EH. He expected me to mold myself into that image now. I took a deep breath, pushing out the anxiety.

  When I saw the light in his eyes change, I knew he was pleased. “Much better.” His grip eased. “Now we’re ready.”

  With my attitude adjusted, I entered Faraday’s bridge, ignoring stares as crew turned to look at me. Faraday invited me to join him at the railing overlooking the command well. Below, every seat was occupied, even though they were about to relinquish their ship to the Regurak.

  I slipped into the space made open by Faraday’s first officer. Everett moved up close behind me. I said nothing as I watched the process. We’d all been here yesterday, watching the scout ships as they left, but this was an entirely different class of impossible. Two battleships.

  We watched Gardner’s ship mirroring our own docking. Her ship moved up beneath Huracid’s, towards a deep impression on the belly of the massive ship. Her crew inching the battleship into position. Faraday’s crew responded to the same docking instructions. Then both crews were ordered to shut down propulsions and release their control boards.

  Hands went up in the pit, then gripped the arms of their chairs as the crews watched the same screens I did. We watched a glowing light, beam down over Gardner’s ship. As if right out of an old sci-fi vid, their ‘tractor beam’ pulled her up into the hollow. We moved upwards also, into our own impression in Huracid’s ship. We felt the vibration of docking clamps.

  Suddenly we all felt even smaller than before. Incredibly smaller. It felt like my suit got even tighter, feeling my chest tightening like it was wrapped in steel bands.

  Huracid leaned against the railing. “Docking is successful.”

  I could barely suppress the shiver down my spine. Our expedition was about to commence. It was a momentous event, but only the beginning, still far from the war to come. I looked up at Huracid, then at Faraday. Where was I leading everyone?

  Everett’s hand on my shoulder kept me from sliding back into my doubts. We watched a small cruiser get pulled up into the gap between the battleships and I wondered if Huracid wasn’t just showing off now.

  All dockings were tested, safety checks run and rerun. The bands around my chest took several more revolutions as everyone’s eyes finally turned to look at me. Even Gardner’s, as her face appeared on one of the side screens. Everett’s hand slipped down into the small of my back. They were waiting on me.

  I stood up straight, facing the screens between the ships. “Let’s go find out what’s at the other end of this rainbow.” That got a few strange looks. “Launch!” Fingers clawed at the bands around my chest. The uniform constricting even tighter as Huracid’s ship activated an energy field around the IGF ships. Then they started a slow acceleration.

  Slow in appearance due to the immense size, but faster by the second, cautiously confirming the ships remained secure to their underbelly. Faraday’s crew confirmed no instability. Engineers counted off sublight speeds, then Sync levels.

  L1 exponentially magnified, L4 was a blip on the way to L6. L7. Our engineers’ eyes got wider and wider. I physically ached as L10 was achieved. I couldn’t even listen as they tried to gauge the final points, L12.7. I couldn’t do the math in my head. I really couldn’t breathe.

  “Let go.” Everett reached around me to tap my arm.

  I realized the bands crushing my chest were actually my fingers twisted in the fabric of my jacket. “Oh.” Twisting so tight my fingers hurt as I let go. It took a great effort not to laugh. It would have come out sounding terrified.

  Someone in the pit confirmed long-range communications were activated, filtered and amplified by Huracid’s technology. Gardner sent a confirming message we were underway. The tense moment passed, but the excitement didn’t.

  Faraday moved into his command pit and studied the star-charts to our coordinates, the velocity meters, shaking his head at the unimaginable speeds. “As many times as I’ve lectured on how possible this was… is, I couldn’t fathom being here. I was positive our additional mass would slow you down.”

  Huracid cocked his head at the commander. “Mass… is not… in the equation.” Faraday only laughed. This was a discussion they’d had frequently, the two nearly inseparable.

  With the tension of this miraculous moment easing, I remembered the other reason I was here. “Gentlemen!” Faraday jumped, jarred out of his fascination. “Shall we?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Faraday escorted us to the war room, this time not filled with members from both side. I didn’t mind fewer bodies, fewer minds. I settled down at his large conference table, letting go of the tension I’d been surrounded by on the bridge.

  Huracid accepted the lounger nearby, set up to accommodate his huge frame. Faraday ordered the ensigns to bring refreshments, for us anyway, since Huracid couldn’t expose himself to the ship’s atmosphere. All they could do for him was keep the gravity down to his maximum level. Putting a bit more bounce in our steps.

  Everett leaned over me. “You did fine.”

  I rolled my eyes up at his whispering. “I didn’t do anything but show my face.”

  “You are the face of the mission. At some point you’
ll be required to be a hell of a lot more, but everyone needs to see that you’re present, at all times. Large and small.”

  “Small accomplished.”

  An ensign approached, placing a tray of drinks on the table. “Thank you.” I gave her a smile before she slipped back to the wall. She looked tiny next to my guards, whom she looked at from the corner of her eye. She wasn’t afraid of them. Quite the opposite.

  I tried to figure out which one she had an eye on in particular, then caught a flash of embarrassment, a tint of blush, from the youngest. He dropped his eyes. Of course it was him. EH weren’t bred for their good looks, but for their brawn, but he was young enough yet not to be battle scarred and craggily.

  “Gee, thanks!” Everett gave me a somewhat hurt look as he picked up on my thoughts. On the young officer’s extra flush of blush. “Should I leave the room?”

  “Not without me, dear.” I again held in a laugh, afraid it might still come out as a shrill panic. “Just making a casual observation. You’re plenty handsome to me.” I unfastened the jacket, now that I wasn’t on stage. “Should we start?” I said it loud enough to get Faraday’s attention away from Huracid, again.

  “In just a moment. We’re waiting on Commander Gardner to join us.” Faraday got up from beside Huracid and came to his chair at the table. “She’ll be with us in a moment.” He took one of the glasses, sipping through the anti-grav lid. “This should be something stronger, to commemorate what we just saw. Well, I guess not your group.”

  “It was a first for me too. I was unconscious the first time around.” I took a glass and held it out. “L12.7 and better.”

  Everett joined in. “Saw it before, but not on this scale.”

  We clinked glasses, then heard the command center doors open. Gardner came bouncing in with a huge grin on her face, her cool calm demeanor totally overwhelmed. “This is so fucking amazing!”

  Faraday grinned; glad he wasn’t the only one feeling foolishly ecstatic. “I know!”