Karma of Kalpana

by T. L Smith

  Eliath’s horror at my new alien form doubled as she realized what I intended. She fought to escape, but I coiled tighter. I thrust energy into her at a rate far too great for her mind to process. I felt her breathless screams. Her heart pounded out of her chest, her blood pushed out of her wounds. Deep down I felt that twinge of doubt, that I wasn’t a killer, but I was fighting for my life and everyone I knew. If I showed any mercy, more innocent people would die. I shut down my emotions and crushed her with every ounce of energy inside me.

  I felt her soul erupt. It poured over me, hot, burning, and fouled by the thousands of deaths she’d taken pleasure in. I tried to escape her poison, but like a shock wave, remnants of her reflected back on me. Too quickly. Too thoroughly. It was my turn to scream in agony.

  “So, now I know who you are, just another tool of Queen Sharmila. Where is she now? Gone back to be with her own? I can see the truth. I can see everything.”

  I gasped, focusing inward, regaining my control. “If that were true, you’d know you can’t do to me what you did to Sharmila’s daughter.” I tried to purge her, but Eliath’s soul burrowed deeper into my own. She needed other life forms to keep her mortal body alive, but I’d killed her body. Now only our souls were left.

  She wouldn’t let me go, so I coiled my image of the boa around her spirit tighter. At the same time wrapping my own soul under the same thick undulating coils, deep within the core of my energy.

  She grasped my thoughts, those easily accessible. “That’s right, only one of us can survive. I will become you.”

  “Try!” I dared her. “I beat you on your own ground and I’ll kick your ass here too, even if I die doing it.” I lashed out, my boa jaws stretched wide, the lines of sharp teeth extended into hooks. I clamped down around her new form, penetrating deep. Like the real-life snake, my bite was completely unshakable, unbreakable. She clawed at my creature, trying to break through to my true, mortal form. But I kept a tight coil around my soul. I had a vow to keep. I was the last barrier between her and any form of life. Until I could figure out how to kill her, I’d hang on.

  It wasn’t easy. My physical body shut down, but I was alive. I felt oxygen and fluids running into my body, but I could sense no other beings. I had to be on the ship. In an isolation chamber, to keep my abilities imprisoned. I couldn’t escape, so neither could she.

  In this barren place we battled, Eliath’s soul against mine, her will to live as strong as my will to protect. We both grew weak, but as long as my body was cared for, I had no reason to give up. I had too much to live for. All my lives had led to this point, but unlike my predecessors, I intended to survive, to find true happiness with Everett.

  Eliath knew no such joy. Her life was consumed by an insatiable hunger, only satisfied by death. So our battle raged on. Time was incalculable, hours, days, there was nothing to measure it by, except our declining strength. When not putting her through a torturous death roll, shredding her soul every time I flailed my image’s head, I let my mind drift back to my human self. I thought of Everett, healing, waiting for me, waiting to take me away from this war.

  But then she broke through enough to intrude on my private thoughts, sensing my true life and desires. “It is only a matter of time and then he will be mine too.” She sent me a vision of lying in his arms, taking her pleasures, then thrusting her hand to his chest, ripping his soul from his body. All the while, him thinking it was me. “He will be mine. They all will be mine!”

  “Never!” Fury sent me into a vicious roll. I felt her body in my teeth, long needle-sharp fangs grinding down so hard. I felt them break, as did her temporary invasion upon my imagination. It had been a grasping attempt to get the upper hand, but I pinned her down again. “Your energy is nearly gone. You won’t be able to hold out much longer and then I’ll finish you off. You and all your people will be gone. Dead.”

  “Phuf!” She scoffed at me. “It is only a matter of time before your people follow mine down this path. We are of the same blood, offspring of Queen Sharmila. They poisoned your blood, just as they did ours.” Her struggles were so much weaker, exhausted with no force to pull from. “Tell me you get no pleasure from killing my body, from strangling my soul.”

  “If I was a psychopath. I get no pleasure in killing. But it’s a fitting end for you. You survived feeding on others, then fell to gluttony when I gave you what you craved. You choked on it. But feeding on me, taking over my life, won’t do you any good. We can’t feed.”

  The words came out of my mouth. It was a revelation hidden deep in my psyche. “When they created us, they built in safeguards. Inside me. Inside every EH. We can’t feed.” I knew it was true. No matter what we evolved into, we could only accept energy willingly given to us. Then return or release it. Never possess it. The knowledge gave me a new strength, and peace.

  For the first time in our battle Eliath was quiet, feeling the wave of information released into my every cell. Silence was odd for her and I couldn’t resist, but to look. Pinned between my jaws was not the beautiful lethal creature from the cavern, or the blood-soaked antagonist I’d battled.

  Instead I saw a despondent foe, her body limp in my maw, limbs askew with no strength left, no regal grace. Her snow white hair was tangled and matted with blackening streaks of dried blood. Sparkling rich robes were reduced to rags, torn to expose flesh. Wounds gaped from every grinding gnash of my teeth.

  She opened her eyes. Seeing her reflection in my eyes, her body slumped further.

  I felt pity for her, but there was only one mercy I would grant her. Without another tormenting word, I crushed her within my coils until I ground out the last of her soul. I watched it transform back to energy, then fade away.

  Free from her vile presence in my mind, I curled back on myself, tucking my head into the folds of my body, too tired to even transform back to human. I was done.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

  My lungs stretched as I took a breath and warmth spread out from my chest. It felt good to breathe life again, without the taint of Eliath’s poisonous soul attached to mine. The air was so cool, and refreshing… until the next breath came before I was ready.

  I gagged on the stiffness inside my throat. When I tried to brush away what chocked me, restraints held my arms down. I fought and heard alarms.

  “Stop fighting, you’re safe.” Hands closed over my shoulders. “You’re on a breathing tube, but I’ll take it out. Just hold still.” Dr. Arroza’s face leaned over me. She spoke calmly, coaxing me until I could breathe on my own.

  A nurse handed me a small glass of water. It calmed the cracking dryness of my throat. I tried to say something, but my throat hurt. “How long was I out? What’s going on? I need to speak to Commander Gardner. I need to see Everett.”

  “No, you need to finish coming out of this. You were in pretty bad shape when they brought you in. You had nearly fatal seizures and there was some question about oxygen deprivation, but… clearly you’re neurologically intact.” She said the last with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, as she finished unfastening everything but my restraints. She stopped with her fingers on the hooks. “The seizures stopped after four days, but you’ve been out for two weeks.”

  “Two… weeks?”

  She gave me an eye of warning. “I’m going to release you, but Commander Gardner made it perfectly clear you’re out. Retired. Confined to the medlabs until I say otherwise.”

  Gardner had told me the same thing before I went down to the planet. “Fine. I’m out. What about Everett?” I saw the smile on her face as she unfastened the hooks. I grabbed my wrists, rubbing the blood back into my fingers. My arms ached. “All I want is Everett.” I stretched more than my arms, seeking him. I could feel him, but… “Something’s wrong!”

  I struggled to push myself up, but Dr. Arroza grabbed at my arms. “You can’t leave.”

  “Something’s wrong with Everett.” I pulled away, swinging out the other side of the bed.

  “There’s nothing you
can do.” She pulled me back down and leaned her full weight onto me.

  I was too weak to fight her. I grabbed for her uniform. “Don’t you get it? We’re EH. We’re bonded mates. What do you think’s going to happen to me if he dies?” I choked back tears. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. I’d served my purpose. I’d won my war. Anger surged up in my body and mind. “I need to be with him.”

  She trembled as I pushed my will on her. She was good at resisting, but she also knew the EH. “Okay. I’ll take you to him, but if there’s trouble…”

  “I need to be with him. He needs to know I’m alive.”

  Dr. Arroza called for a wheelchair and pushed me through the long corridor to the ICU unit. She took me to his bedside, but didn’t leave, firm in her opinion I wasn’t ready for this. I ignored her, taking his hand and willing him to feel me there.

  All I needed was the slightest squeeze of his fingers, but all I felt was distance. He couldn’t feel me. I didn’t give up, holding tight and looking across his body, to his shoulder. Despite massive amounts of antibiotics, nanobots and reconstruction of arteries and veins, I could see infection and dead flesh.

  I sought his companion, the Elders, Sharmila. “This is not the way it was supposed to be. I did everything you wanted. I fulfilled my destiny.”

  I expected at least a response from Sharmila, but she remained silent. Too silent. I couldn’t feel her either. I lowered my head to Everett’s arm, hiding my face as I clenched my teeth at the sudden realization. I was alone, totally alone. “I still ended up like them.”

  My heart shuddered.

  “I’m here.” It was a whisper I thought I only imagined. “I’m still here.”

  I grabbed at the weak murmur in my head. “Sharmila. I was sure you were gone.”

  “Save him.”

  “They’re trying.” I choked on tears, raising my head to look at his unconscious face. I could feel it. He’d die soon. “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

  “No death…trust me.” Sharmila was too weak to explain, but I could feel her trying to compel me. She wanted control, one last time. I had nothing left to lose. It took longer, but I felt her urging me from the chair.

  I turned to Dr. Arroza. “Please, Doctor. There’s not much time left. I want to be alone with him.” She started to protest, but I pushed my will onto her. “Please!”

  Dr. Arroza sighed. It wasn’t too much to ask. He was dying. “I’ll give you privacy.”

  As soon as the door closed, I made it to the access panel and pulled the control chip. It wouldn’t keep them out, but it would slow them down.

  I had to hurry, all three of our lives were near their ends. I stumbled back to Everett’s injured side. Sharmila’s will got stronger, guiding my hand to the edge of his temporary bandage. She made me rip it open. I was afraid I’d hurt him, but he probably couldn’t feel anything. My hand reached out to the cart next to his bed. She made me pick up a scalpel.

  I had no clue what she wanted to do, until the blade cut across my wrist. I started to panic, but she remained firm and pushed my hand to Everett’s exposed wound. My heart thundered in my chest and blood spurted from the wide gash, into his wound.

  Something moved deep inside my body, flowing up through every vein, rushing faster than the blood from my wound. It felt like thousands of bugs painfully crawling up, then down my arm. The creepy discomfort ended as blood poured out of my body and into his. “Bugs, of course…” As blood flowed away from me, I understood.

  Alarms rang in my ears as my head grew lighter. Dizziness made the room spin, but I held onto the side of the bed. Just a few seconds more. My legs grew weak. I heard the doors thrown open and felt hands pull me away from Everett, but I hung onto the bed rails.

  I turned my attention to the nurse gripping my wrist. I must have started to faint, because someone caught me. Looking up, I could only focus on silver eyes, an EH. Dr. Arroza fumed as she pulled my face around to look at her. “What the hell are you trying to do, kill yourself too?”

  She pushed the nurse’s hand off my wrist. “Damn, she’s cut it deep, more than just the artery. Get her to surgery.” She rushed over to Everett, grimacing. “She contaminated his wounds. We’ll need to clean this out. Get a team in here.”

  I wanted to shout at the doctor, but my words jumbled even in my head. I achingly turned my head to the soldier. He was EH. I could hear him asking why I did this insane act. I threw out images of what Sharmila intended. I saw his face contort, his eyebrows furrow into one, the thoughts too jumbled, but then a light came into his eyes. His arms tightened around me and carried me back to Everett.

  The doctor jerked back around. “I told you to get her to emergency surgery.”

  “Stop what you’re doing, Ma’am.” The soldier glanced at me for only a second. “She wasn’t trying to kill herself. She transferred her Elder DNAbots to the Colonel, while they could still do some good. If you clean out the wound, you’ll ruin his last chance to recover, and hers.”

  “You’re insane. He’s already fighting a lethal infection. Her blood will only make it worse.” The doctor picked up a saline solution from the bandage cart. “Get her out of here.”

  “Ma’am, put that down.” The soldier knocked the bottle from her hand.

  “He’ll die if I don’t do this.”

  “You said he was dying already, an hour, maybe two. Elders DNA or nanobots, whatever they’re called, may give them a chance.”

  Dr. Arroza backed away from the bed, her hands raised in surrender.

  The soldier set me down on the bed, his voice softening. “They’re lifemates. One hour.”

  The nurse stepped up. “Can I give her a blood infusion and dress her wound.”

  The soldier stared into my eyes. “She agrees, but you have to do it here.”

  Arroza nodded. It was a compromise she accepted.

  The moment calm again, I turned all my attention to Everett. No matter what happened now, this was where I had to be. I didn’t tear my eyes off him, even as the nurse returned and slipped a needle into my arm. Dr. Arroza wrapped my wrist. Enough to wait the hour promised.

  Almost immediately I felt the difference, my heart beat easier, my thoughts cleared, but all sense of Sharmila was gone. I tried to look into Everett’s mind, trying to sense her there, but I was too weak. Instead I focused on our life after this horrible day. The universe was at our feet, and we had ships faster than anything we’d ever seen to get us there. We’d be inseparable, no terrible wars or soul-sucking demons to battle. No designs on our lives but our own.

  My dreams were interrupted by whispers, urgent whispers. I forced myself awake, raising my head from Everett’s good shoulder to see Dr. Arroza shaking her head, but smiling? “What? What’s happening?” I looked at Everett and saw no change, but under my hand I could feel energy flowing stronger. His heart. It beat steadier.

  “Don’t get too excited, but there’s definitely something happening. Labs say antibodies are up, the infection rate dropping. The scans indicate the Colonel has stopped rejecting the new heart tissue. If it holds this way…” Arroza stopped herself. “I won’t make any promises, but he’s better. Now, for you.” Her face grew stern. “I kept my part of the deal, you keep yours.”

  As much as I hated leaving Everett’s side, the guard was prepared to back up the doctor’s demands this time. In a few minutes I was under anesthesia.

  * * * * *

  “Everett, wake up.” I leaned closer. I could feel him again. He just needed to be led back. I reached a little deeper into his sleeping mind. “Everett, I need you here.” I could barely contain myself as his eyes fluttered. “Come on. You have to wake up before they throw me out again.”

  His fingers gripped mine harder. “No… stay.” His eyes opened, finding me instantly.

  “There you are.” I looked across to Dr. Arroza. “I told you he was fine.”

  She leaned over Everett so he wouldn’t have to turn his head. “Good to see you bac
k. To put off your questions, you’re healing up just fine.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his face. “I knew letting you merge with me was too much, but we won. We beat her and the Punitraq have been in total chaos since.”

  “Knew… you… could do it.” He forced the words out, his lungs hurt as he took in deeper breaths. It wasn’t just his lungs, but his whole body. “Gotta… get out… of this bed.”

  “You will, sooner than you think.” I looked Everett in the eyes, linking our minds. Having a firm hold, I let my eyes drift over to his shoulder. The putrid infection was gone. Even the temporary skin was replaced with new flesh. “They did permanent grafts two days ago.”

  I felt his mind shift to the war. “Gardner is running the show. There are pockets of resistance, but the Slayers are breaking them down. The slave populations are cooperating, pointing us towards nests. Basically, they don’t need us anymore.”

  Everett’s eyes softened, his thoughts shifted back to me. “Good! It’s time to leave it all in the hands of the Collective.”

  “I agree. With Sharmila gone, I’m no longer the link.” As gentle as his feelings were, caressing my wounded soul, I had to look away from his eyes. “Don’t look at me that way. I know I’ll never be… I’ll never be human again.”

  “Stop…” His hand squeezed mine. “Sharmila showed me everything you had to do. I also know about her final sacrifice. Her last wish is for you to have a real life. I’m going to make that happen. Of my own free will.” “I know where you want to go.” His hand stretched up to touch my face. “Whatever you are now, you’re still the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”

  I covered his hand with my own, feeling the warmth of his touch on my cheek, the warmth of his soul in my heart, everything I’d prayed for, even though I could never confess my true feelings.