by R. G. Angel
I rested the bottle on the counter with a loud thump. I needed a swim. I chuckled. Yep, Esmerima, the Little Mermaid.
I sang songs from The Little Mermaid on my way to the pool, but stopped as soon as I walked in, a wide smile spreading across my lips.
“Mom!”
She smiled from her spot in the middle of the pool, the water at her waist, dressed in a pale peach-pink lacy gossamer nightgown. She looked beautiful with her wavy hair down her back, floating slowly, with a kind, loving smile on her face.
“I knew you’d come.” I marveled, standing at the edge of the pool.
“Of course I did, my beautiful daughter,” she said with a voice even more melodic than I’d ever imagined as she opened her arms invitingly. “Why don’t you come closer? I’ve missed you so much.”
I followed her into the pool and swam toward her as she kept smiling at me.
“Why don’t you come with me?” she asked. “I’m so alone.”
I nodded. “Of course. Where?”
She went deep under the water, gesturing me down, and I followed her to the bottom. She opened her arms and I let her embrace me until I fell asleep peacefully in the safety of her arms.
Chapter 8 - Caleb
I punched the steering wheel in frustration as I sat in the car, praying Aleksandra wouldn’t check if I were gone.
‘It happens to every guy,’ Aleks had cooed with her syrupy voice like I was a child. ‘Let me try harder.’
No, it didn’t happen to everyone, especially not hormone-riddled eighteen-year-olds and especially not to me. That girl was open to literally anything. I could have fucked my frustration away and taken whatever pleasure I wanted without any regard for her own, and she would have pretended to love it, like she always did. But I hadn’t been able to. My dick was on fucking life support. Even the images of Esmeralda I’d tried to conjure had been hijacked. I usually saw her lying invitingly on my bed, her wavy bronze hair flowing on my pillows, her face flushed after the orgasm I’d given her with just my mouth - just like that day I’d felt like Superman. But no, today the only image I could conjure was her sad face when I’d walked away, the glistering of tears in her eyes when I’d turned my back on her after she’d begged me not to go to Aleksandra.
I wanted her to ask me to stay because she cared and not because it was Aleks. Would I have stayed if she’d said that? I growled.
I drove like a mad man back home. I’d taken her back to get revenge, to make her pay, but she was a virus spreading in my blood, invading the little bit of peace I had left.
She needed to stop whatever game she was playing. She didn’t need to play the innocent, kind-hearted girl she pretended to be to get me to drop my defenses. I wouldn't be fooled twice. She needed to stop that charade as that only infuriated me even more. I needed her to be the conniving double-faced traitor I knew she was. That, I could respect.
I’d wanted to hurt her, humiliate her today – like I’d been humiliated when William had called me after school this afternoon. I had heard in his voice how glad he’d been to announce that he’d ‘forgotten’ to stop his tracking of Esme’s calls. He’d claimed to be ‘helpful’ by letting me know that Esme had spent over twenty-seven minutes on the phone with Ben Deluca today. I had pretended to know they were in contact, that I couldn’t care less, and yet even though I’d told her she could, I couldn't help but feel it had been a betrayal, a betrayal she needed to pay for.
This was going to be our life, each of us trying to get the upper hand, avenging ourselves, making each other crazy until one of us snapped. It’d be her, of course. She was much weaker, unprepared for this misery whereas I was born in it, built in it, thrived in it. She didn't stand a chance.
I took the direction of the club. No way I was going to go home and let her know that nothing had happened with Aleks. I couldn't show her that she had destabilized me. I should have just taken my freedom back when I had the chance. I’d been asking myself if this revenge was worth it, and right now, it felt like my revenge on her was also revenge on myself.
I growled at the memory of her stupid Confucius quote. It was like she knew, had cursed me. I scowled, swerving the car in the direction of the house. She’d caused the damage. She had to fix it! She’d give me what I needed, whether she liked it or not.
When I made it to the house, I didn’t even bother to park the car. I simply stopped it by the stairs and rushed in, holding on to my anger and indignation before I changed my mind.
“Where is she?” I asked Benjamin as soon as I walked in.
“I’m not sure, sir. I was doing the inventory in the wine cellar for your mother's return. I just came back.”
I waved my hand dismissively. I was pretty sure old Benji there had a soft spot for Esmeralda and wouldn’t tell me where she was even if he knew. I sighed, taking the steps up two at a time. The old man needed a lesson in loyalty, but I was not sure I could blame him. I had started to suspect that she was a sorceress with her innocent smiles, fake solicitude, and pure beauty.
I knocked on the door. “Esmeralda.” I wasn’t sure what I expected after the way we had left things, but it wasn’t her staying silent. “Esmeralda,” I repeated louder. “Open the door now.” I tried the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. I walked in and got hit by her sweet scent of rose and lilac. I couldn’t help but inhale deeply. I looked at her made bed and had to fight every instinct I had to lie there and take in her essence. I rolled my eyes. What the hell did this girl do to me?
I took a look around. The boxes we’d retrieved from her house were still in a corner unopened. There was nothing personal. It looked as if she was expecting this stay to be temporary. I tightened my hands into fists as a fresh wave of betrayal engulfed me. She was clearly planning on running again.
I turned around briskly, leaving before the impulse to destroy everything in her room became overwhelming.
I went back downstairs and to the swimming pool. I knew she would be there and it both angered and enticed me. I hadn’t expected seeing her in a swimsuit would affect me the way it had. I'd seen many women in them, some actual models, but I had always controlled my body, mind over matter. Always. And yet when I’d seen her step out of the pool in that poor excuse of a swimsuit, my body had reacted in the most visceral way, my cock hardening so painfully against the restraint of my pants. I was grateful I’d been half-hidden in the darkness and by the side of the wooden bar. I could pretend only so much. My body was constantly, infuriatingly betraying me.
What angered me the most was the poison of doubt in my mind. How everything she did had an ulterior motive. How I kept being reminded of how she had fooled me with her fake feelings and contrition. How she’d made me believe she cared, acted like she could love me. And how she’d pulled the rug by disappearing and–
My step faltered as my eyes locked on the swimming pool and the sight of Esmeralda face down, floating lifelessly.
“Esme? ESME!” I shouted. “Benjamin! Help!” I jumped into the pool fully dressed.
I turned her over and felt a wave of nausea at the sickly white hue of her skin, the blue of her lips. “Don’t do this,” I huffed, pulling her as well as I could to the poolside, my soaked clothes and Oxford shoes feeling like a hundred pounds.
“Oh dear. Sir!” Benjamin took her hand as I helped her up. After laying her carefully on the floor, I started CPR.
“Call Blue Arrow and Dr. Willis now!” I huffed, doing the chest compressions to the horrible mental tone of Stayin’ Alive.
I leaned in. “Come on, don’t be a coward. Fight! Don’t fucking give up!” I growled before giving her mouth-to-mouth.
I restarted the chest compressions, huffing with exertion as I glanced toward the door and cursed the useless Blue Arrow.
I didn’t realize how arduous it was to do chest compressions until now. They made it look so effortless in films, but this was nothing like the inanimate doll from the mandatory CPR class I’d taken last year.
I was the only l
ine between the life or death of a person - and not just any person. Even if I hated to admit it, having her life in my hands mattered so much more than a stranger’s.
“Just, please…” For once I was not above begging, and this terrified me once more.
Finally, her body jerked, and she started coughing up water as I turned her onto her side.
I let out a sigh of relief as my eyes started to burn with what I decided was the chlorine and nothing else.
“Mom,” she whispered in between coughs and heaves. It clearly hurt.
Good! At least she would not go and do anything this stupid again.
Just as I was about to turn her onto her back, two medics from Blue Arrow came in and rushed to her. I stood up, letting them get to work.
“It took you long enough!” I barked, walking around them with my darkest scowl as they worked on Esmeralda.
“You saved her life,” one of the paramedics said after checking the numbers from the clip he’d put on her finger.
“No thanks to you! When I think of the price we pay you for being incompetent!”
“It took them seven minutes to come here, Caleb. I would hardly call that incompetent.”
I turned around as the greying, bearded man made his way toward me, adjusting his glasses.
“Dr. Willis,” I greeted. I guess a man who had brought you into this world and saved your life under more than miraculous circumstances, could take some liberty with decorum. Had it only been seven minutes? It felt like it had been seven hours.
“How is she faring?” he asked a paramedic as he came to stand beside me.
“Her pulse is weak, but constant. Her SAT is at 75% which is not unexpected after a drowning.”
“Why is she so unresponsive?” I asked, not able to hide the worry in my voice. She was still scarily pale, but her lips were not sickly blue anymore. She still looked like a wax doll though.
“It took incredible effort for her body to fight to stay alive. She is exhausted and her body is concentrating oxygen to mandatory functions such as the lungs, brain, and heart. A body tends to shut down and make you sleepy in such circumstances in order to concentrate on the healing part.”
I nodded like I understood it all, but all that mattered was her. “Is she going to be okay?”
“We can’t be sure until we run a full panel of tests. How long was she underwater?”
I shook my head as the two paramedics put her on the stretcher.
Dr. Willis sighed. “We’ll know more once we’re at the hospital and–”
“No hospital. Her room.” I gestured to Benjamin standing by the door, whose worry was making him look even older. “Show them to her room.”
Benjamin nodded and exited, closely followed by the paramedics.
“Are you sure it is–”
“Will it risk her health any further?” I asked, interrupting him.
He removed his glasses, wiping them with the tissue in his pocket, shaking his head. “No, it shouldn’t.”
“Then she stays.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure.” And I was not sure I wanted to find out.
He nodded. “I see…”
Do you though? Do you? I wanted to ask, but kept my cool. I was an Astor, detachment was required.
“I will run the tests.”
“Please.” I grabbed his arm as he took the direction of the door.
He turned around, looking at me with expectation.
“I know you have to notify the incident to the Blue Arrow Board,” I said, knowing full well that the head of the board was none other than my darling father.
“Yes, I have to do this immediately after stabilizing Ms. Forbes. It is the procedure. I cannot deviate from it.”
“Fine, but no matter what you find, your assessment will be that she slipped and hit her head. Are we in agreement?”
He frowned. “Caleb, son, if you’ve got anything–”
“I’m not your son, Dr. Willis, and I’m not a child anymore. I’ve not done anything, and I don't appreciate being questioned. I might not have my father's power yet, but I am powerful enough to destroy you if there is a need.”
He looked at me, almost pained. Seriously, what did he expect? “Very well, sir. She fell and hit her head.”
I nodded. “Glad we understand each other.” I gestured toward the exit, following him silently, reeling as I thought about all the situations that I’d caused which had led to her being face-down in the pool.
When we walked into the room, my stupid dead heart squeezed painfully in my chest. Seeing her sickly pale, lying motionless in the bed...
I leaned against the closed door as Dr. Willis worked on Esmeralda with the two paramedics. I watched as they attached a mini-heart monitor and put an IV in her arm. It was like they’d brought a hospital room to our house. Seeing all of this brought back some uncomfortable and unwanted images from a past I’d thought was long buried under meters of concrete.
This was something great about America. Money could buy you the health system, giving you access to private paramedics, ambulances, and hospitals. You could get the best of everything... But there was a price.
After a further twenty minutes, Dr. Willis dismissed the paramedics. He waited for them to leave before starting his assessment.
“Truth be told, Mr. Astor.” Ah, the ’Caleb’ was finally forgotten; he had learned his place. “There is no concussion or any other head trauma suggesting an accident.”
I nodded.
“Her vitals are still weak but stable, which is good,” he continued, pointing at the screen. “We’ve set her up with an IV just as a precaution in case her system is compromised by any…”
I ground my teeth, understanding only too well what he was saying. My mother was a pill-popping addict.
“When will you know for sure?”
“I’ll do a full tox-screen when I get back to the hospital.”
“The results will only be shared with me and then they will disappear. Are we clear on that as well?”
Dr. Willis studied me silently.
“Are. We. Clear?” I repeated, my voice as firm and cold as I could make it. “And don't start serving me your license and Hippocratic Oath! We both know for a fact that you’ve done things like this and much worse over the years,” I added, my scars suddenly itching as a physical reminder of my memories.
At least he had the decency to look away, his face reflecting the shame of my words. “Yes, we are,” he replied with a clipped tone that radiated disapproval. Not that I cared for his judgment. He was too far down the same path to have any legitimacy in that regard. He looked at his watch. “I will go now. I believe she will sleep most of the night; her body suffered quite a trauma and needs the rest. As we don't know how long she was underwater, I fear I can't say what the damage will be, if any, and there is also the risk of secondary drowning. I will come when she is up to do a full cognitive assessment, but for the time being, I will have a nurse come and–”
“No, I’ll do it.”
“You’ll…do it?”
I couldn’t deny that it was uncharacteristic to have an Astor do something like this, and yet, I felt like I had to. “I can take an IV out. I’ve done it before.”
Dr. Willis pursed his lips in clear displeasure before letting out a sigh of resignation. “Very well, please call me directly on my cell when she wakes so I can do the assessment.”
It was late. I couldn't contain my yawn as soon as the door closed behind the old man. I didn’t have to look so controlled anymore. With him now gone and the adrenaline having dropped, I finally realized my clothes were still soaked. Shivering, I rushed to my room, discarding clothes on the way. I toweled myself dry, then slipped into a pair of pajama bottoms. I looked at my bed almost wistfully, but I’d said I would keep an eye on her. Maybe I could just… I thought about her king-sized bed before rolling my eyes at the consideration. I would just be lying there beside her to ensure she was okay, not
hing else.
Walking back into her room, I was grateful once more that my parents had decided not to come back today. I knew I was showing a lot of weakness right now, even if I didn't want to.
I lay beside her, staring at the ceiling and wondering how I could even consider sleep after all that had happened. I closed my eyes, not realizing I’d dozed off until I was jerked awake by Esmeralda mumbling in her sleep.
I looked at the alarm clock. It was after seven in the morning. I'd slept almost five hours. I turned towards her. Despite the lack of light, I could see some of her color had returned and a little bit of the tightness in my chest eased. How could this little woman, this traitor, have such an unwanted effect on me? Was it life’s sick joke? Karma punishing me for the tricks I'd played in my past?
I sighed, got out of bed, and rang for the maid.
I waited just outside of the door. When she rushed over, her cheeks were flushed.
“I will be gone for thirty minutes. You will go into this room and keep an eye on Miss Forbes as if she was the most important thing in your life. Do you understand?”
She nodded briskly.
“If anything, and I mean anything, changes, fetch me from my room immediately.”
She nodded again, but remained in front of me. Was this girl mentally challenged? She was only a maid after all.
“Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth? Hablas Ingles?”
She frowned, apparently taken aback by my question. “I…I understand, sir,” she stuttered.
“Then go!” I clipped with exasperation, pointing at the door.
I rang for a quick breakfast, then showered and shaved in record time. I didn't like leaving Esmeralda alone with the slow maid.
I was back in her room within twenty minutes. I was relieved to see that her vitals had remained as strong as they'd been when I'd left her.
I sat on the armchair by the door in the darkened room. There was just enough light coming through the gap in the heavy curtains for me to see Esmeralda. My eyes focused on her chest and the slow and regular movement made by her breathing.
Seeing her chest move was almost therapeutic, almost soothing. My heart squeezed painfully when I relived, for the hundredth time in the past couple of hours, the moment I'd walked into the pool room to find her face down, lifeless. Thinking about her gone permanently had scared me in an incapacitating way.