Fang and Claw: Nocturne Academy, Book 2

by Anderson, Evangeline

Megan sighed.

  “I’ll ask her,” she said, getting up from the couch. “But I’m pretty sure she just wants to be left alone right now.”

  39

  Kaitlyn

  “I’m sorry, Megan, but I just want to be alone right now,” I whispered from the depths of my pillow when she came in to ask me if I was thirsty.

  Of course I was thirsty. I’d been crying all weekend—I couldn’t seem to stop no matter how hard I tried. I had lost count of how many times I’d sent my pillowcases through the laundry chute and still they were spotted with red dots and blotches from my endless weeping.

  I couldn’t get over the feeling of loss—the feeling of abandonment that washed over me every time I thought of how coolly and calmly Alastair Breedlove had ended my relationship with his family and especially with little Allegra. He had cut me out of their lives as neatly as a surgeon excising a particularly nasty tumor. He had called me a “mistake” and that was what I felt like. Like something that shouldn’t have been allowed to exist in the first place.

  Being cut adrift from the only family I had known since The Fire made me feel helpless and alone and frightened all at once. As vulnerable as a snail out of its shell, exposed for any careless pair of heavy boots to stamp into the mud at any moment.

  Of course, I still had my friends and Coven-mates. That knowledge was all that was holding me together. I clung to it like a life preserver because I had nothing else to hold on to.

  And yet there was fear there too. Twice now, in my life, I had lost people that meant everything to me. Twice my whole world had been torn away from me in a matter of moments. You don’t get over that kind of trauma easily or well—at least, I didn’t.

  And every time I thought to myself, At least I still have my coven. At least I still have Megan and Avery and Emma and Griffin, a little voice would speak up and ask me when I thought I might lose them too.

  Because once you lose one person in your life suddenly and randomly and for no apparent reason, a veil is torn away from your vision and you realize that you can lose anyone—anyone—in the blink of an eye. You understand that no one is safe—that no one is off limits. That anyone can die or be taken away and there is nothing you can do or say to stop it.

  And that realization—that knowledge—makes the world a bad, sad, scary place. A place it’s too hard to walk in alone…and even harder to walk in with the people you still have left. Because who knows which one of them might be next to go? Who knows how much longer you’ll have them?

  So that was in the space I was in when Megan came to ask me if I wanted to drink from Ari again. I was grieving the loss of my family and the loss of my old life. Not just my time with the Breedloves and with Allegra, but the life I’d had with my parents before they were taken by The Fire.

  Most of all, I missed my mother. My wise, wonderful, funny, kind, amazing Mom who could always find anything I had lost and who I knew would love me no matter what. When you lose your mom, you lose the one person in the world who loves you unconditionally. And that loss is not one you can ever get completely over.

  “I really think it might be a good idea for you to drink from Ari—maybe just go take a sip?” Megan said, looking at me with concern. “Kaitlyn, you’re so pale. I’m worried about you, hon.”

  I opened my mouth to tell her some lie about how I felt just fine and I would be okay but what came out instead was, “I miss my mom.”

  “Oh, honey…” Megan sat down beside me and put an arm around my shoulders. “Me too,” she said simply, giving me a squeeze. “There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mom and miss her.”

  I knew she had lost her mother to cancer the way I had lost mine to The Fire so she truly did understand. And while Megan still had her father, he had pretty much turned into an absentee parent and eventually just dumped her on her aunt, the way I had been dumped on the Breedloves when my parents died.

  “I wish I could just see her one more time,” I told Megan in a broken whisper. “I wish I could feel her hug me right now and I could tell her all the weird, scary shit that’s happening to me right now.”

  “Oh, Kaitlyn…” There was a hitch in Megan’s voice and I realized she was crying too. “I’m so sorry,” she told me, squeezing me harder. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you. I wanted to try and turn you back human, but Griffin told me it won’t work—that you can’t change one kind of Other into another or an Other into a human by witchcraft, no matter how strong your magic is. But I’m going to ask Headmistress Nightworthy to let me try when she comes back from her conference. I swear I will!”

  “Thanks, Megan.” I gave her a watery smile. “That’s very sweet of you.”

  But I didn’t think it would help. My body felt like someone had flipped a switch inside me and I didn’t think there was any flipping it back again. I was a Nocturne now—not a very good or efficient one, since I couldn’t live on animal blood, or even bagged human blood as I was supposed to. But still, I was a vampire and I had the fangs to prove it. I would have to live with them—the same way I lived with my scars.

  Megan and I cried and hugged some more and then I asked her to please send Ari away. I just couldn’t face him right at that moment. Biting him had been a strangely pleasurable experience and it had been frightening in its intensity. I just couldn’t handle any more strangeness right at that moment—even if my throat did feel as dry as the Sahara.

  I’ll deal with the thirst later, I told myself, burying my face in my pillow as Megan left the bedroom and closed the door softly behind her. I just can’t right now—I can’t.

  40

  Kaitlyn

  Of course it was thinking like that which almost made me pass out on Monday.

  I was in my History of Magic class (where else?) when I started feeling so dizzy I could hardly sit up straight in my chair. I gripped the edges of my desk, willing the lightheadedness to pass as I tried to concentrate on what Ms. Eventide, the teacher was saying.

  But it was no use—my head was swimming and huge black flowers were blooming in front of my eyes, eating all the color in the room.

  I knew what was wrong with me of course—I was thirsty, desperately so. My throat was so dry it ached and burned as though I had been trying to swallow sand and I felt unsteady—like a stiff wind could blow me away.

  But no matter how bad I felt, I hadn’t been able to make myself approach Ari and ask to drink from him. Or “ask to take his vein” which I was learning was the usual Nocturne language for such things. I was simply too shy—and too ashamed of my new needs and urges—to even consider going up to the tall, handsome Drake and asking for his help.

  Already the way he’d fed me from his wrist on Friday seemed like a distant dream—something that had happened to some other girl but definitely not me. There was just no way his oath to protect me and provide for me could possibly be real.

  And even if it was, he was only doing it out of a sense of obligation and duty. I didn’t want to be a burden, I told myself. I would be fine—the lightheadedness would pass and I would go on with my day. Everything would be all right and—

  At that point in my mental pep-talk, I realized I was sliding right out of my chair.

  “Oh look—Kaitlyn’s falling!” someone shouted and I saw my teacher’s eyes widen. She looked as though she wanted to catch me—and she might have because Nocturnes—Born Nocturnes, anyway—are incredibly fast and strong. But before she could rush to me, a strong pair of arms had wrapped around me and lifted me up.

  It was Ari, of course. He was looking down into my face with a mixture of worry and anger on his chiseled features and I saw flames dancing far back in the depths of his pale amber eyes.

  “Well done, Mr. Reyes,” Ms. Eventide remarked dryly. “You do seem to have a talent for catching damsels in distress. Is she all right?”

  “I…I’m fine,” I croaked, my hoarse voice not exactly sounding convincing. “Just a little…lightheaded. That’s all.”
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  “I think I’d better take her to the Healer, Ms. Eventide,” Ari said. “May I be excused?”

  “Of course you may. Can Kaitlyn walk?”

  Air pulled me closer to his broad chest.

  “I think it’s better if I carry her. Safer that way.”

  She sighed. “Very well, Mr. Reyes. Go on.”

  She waved him out and Ari carried me out of our History of Magic classroom, holding me as easily as though I weighed no more than a feather pillow.

  But he didn’t take me to the Healer.

  41

  Kaitlyn

  We turned down a short hallway near the West Tower and Ari stopped in front of a blank stone wall. He spoke a word in a language I didn’t understand—something deep and guttural—and a tall wooden door I had never seen before somehow appeared.

  The big Drake kicked it open with his foot and stepped carefully inside, making sure not to bump my legs or head as we went in. He kicked it closed behind us and then went to sit in an oversized brown leather armchair that looked big enough to hold three normal sized people…or maybe just one really big Drake and a small, newly-made Nocturne.

  At any rate, Ari settled into the chair comfortably enough and cradled me in his lap. I wanted to protest being treated like a doll or a child, but I found I couldn’t. I was too weak to move, let alone talk. All I could do was lie there and let him do whatever he wanted with me.

  I felt his big, warm hand come up to the back of my neck and then he was pressing my mouth to his throat.

  “Drink, L’lorna,” he murmured, which was another word I didn’t understand in that strange language of his. “Drink and be healed—drink and be nourished.”

  I wanted to do as he asked—wanted it badly. His warm, spicy, masculine scent filled my senses and under it, I could smell the hot blood pumping. My throat burned and my fangs grew long and sharp but at that point I didn’t even have the strength to sink them into his flesh.

  “Drink, I said!” Ari sounded worried—almost frightened. He pressed my face to the side of his neck and somehow my new fangs managed to graze the surface of his skin, bringing just a few beads of blood.

  Somehow I put out my tongue to lap them up. God, he tasted so good! Warm and perfect and salty and exactly what I needed, his flavor filled my mouth.

  Energy seemed to shoot through me—just a tiny tingle of it but enough for me to fully bare my fangs and sink them into the pulsing vein I could sense in the side of his throat.

  As my fangs sank deep and I drew my first swallow of blood, Ari gave a choked cry and crushed me to him. Once more I felt the incredible connection between us as I drank from him. Pleasure crackled between us like lightning but that wasn’t the only sensation that made drinking from the big Drake so addictive.

  It was the feeling of connection—of closeness I suddenly felt with him.

  I had never felt this close to anyone, I admitted to myself as I continued to drink, finally slaking the terrible thirst that had been tormenting me all weekend. Not my Coven-mates, not Allegra, not even my parents when they were still alive.

  It was like we were two people, sharing the same skin.

  But no, not just two people—there were three, I suddenly realized. And one of us wasn’t human—not even remotely.

  I pulled back with a gasp, breaking the intense connection so suddenly I felt dizzy. From his reaction, Ari felt it too.

  “Dios!” he groaned, putting a hand to his head. “Kaitlyn, why…why did you do that? The feeling was so deep and then you cut it like a knife…” He shook his head, as though disoriented and muttered a curse in Spanish.

  “Sorry,” I said in a small voice. “It’s just, I felt…”

  “What did you feel?” He frowned at me, still cradling me in his lap.

  “I felt more…more than just you and me,” I said, struggling to make him understand. “When I bit you, I sensed three people—not just two. I don’t know how else to put it.”

  He snorted. “Of course you felt three. The third was my Drake, no doubt. He is very interested in whoever I share my life with.”

  “Your…Drake?” I remembered the huge scaled arm ending in the enormous claw-hand with its long talons that had seized me from the cold waters of the lake and shivered.

  “Yes, my Drake. Truly, Kaitlyn, you have no need to fear him.” Ari’s voice was quiet and intense. “He regards you highly. He…he cares for you deeply.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. To hear that the huge, fire-breathing dragon which lived inside Ari was not just thinking about me but also cared for me was disconcerting and scary to say the least.

  “I…I don’t even know him. Or you,” I said and started to slide off his lap.

  But Ari wouldn’t let me.

  “Stop.” He put his arms around me and held me to him—not hurtfully but firmly, letting me know he wasn’t going to let me get away.

  “Why?” I looked at him uneasily. “You, um, gave me some of your blood. Shouldn’t we get back to class?”

  He shook his head.

  “This is more important than class—nourishing you, getting to know you…”

  “What do you want to know?” I asked uneasily.

  He frowned. “Well, to start with, I’d like to know why you let yourself almost expire from thirst instead of coming to me and letting me give you what you need?”

  “Um…” I looked down at my hands, biting my lip. How could I explain how hard it was for me to ask for what I needed from him? How could I tell him that I felt so far below him, so undeserving of what he offered and I still didn’t even know exactly why he was offering it.

  “Well?” he demanded and I realized I would have to give an answer—he wouldn’t allow me to get away with silence.

  “Well, just…just look at you,” I said, gesturing at his muscular physique. “And look at me.” I gestured at my own scarred form.

  “I am looking at you, Kaitlyn,” he murmured.

  Looking up, I saw that he was staring into my face and the expression in his eyes was softer than it had been a moment before.

  Nervously, I put up a hand, making certain that my ever-present curtain of hair was concealing my scars.

  To my surprise, Ari reached up and pulled my hand away.

  “Don’t do that,” he murmured, brushing my sheaf of hair away from face and baring my scars. “Don’t hide yourself from me, L’lorna.”

  “Please…” I put my hair back in place, feeling a panicky tightness in my chest. “Don’t do that,” I told him. “I can’t…can’t have you or anybody seeing me like that.”

  “Why not?” he asked gently.

  “You know why not,” I told him. “You can see well enough—everybody can. Besides…” I smoothed my hair back into place more firmly. “I thought your people—the Drakes—hated females with…” I had to swallow hard before I could get it out. “With facial deformities,” I finally said.

  He frowned and made a fierce gesture with one hand.

  “My people don’t know everything. I don’t want you to hide from me, Kaitlyn. At least not while we’re alone together like this—as we will be quite often from now on.”

  “We will? What do you mean?” I demanded, frowning back. I looked around the room, which was outfitted like a small den with leather couches and chairs and even a cooler which seemed to be filled with drinks. There were pictures on the stone walls of dragons flying—clearly it was a place for Drakes, but I had never heard of it before. It must be one of the many hidden places in the castle that only certain people knew about and could access.

  “This is the Drake Den,” Ari explained. “Only males whose wings fly the highest are allowed entrance. And since Sanchez was expelled and sent back to the Sky Lands, I am the only one who can come in.”

  I looked at him uncertainly.

  “So this is your own private little den? You’re the only one allowed in here?”

  “As well as anyone I invite—as I am inviting you now,” he sa
id firmly. “You will meet me here every day thirty minutes before breakfast and then again, directly before dinner. In this way I can be certain you’re getting enough nourishment and I won’t have to worry about you fainting again.”

  “I didn’t faint,” I protested. “I just got…a little dizzy.”

  Ari looked skeptical.

  “You were so weak you could barely bite me,” he pointed out. “Speaking of which, you still haven’t answered my question—why did you wait so long before taking nourishment from me? Why didn’t you come to me earlier?”

  I looked down at my hands again.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come out when you came for me this weekend,” I told him in a low voice. “I was…in a dark place.”

  “I understand,” Ari said with surprising gentleness. “Avery and Megan explained to me what happened with your Nocturne family. Kaitlyn, I am so sorry.”

  “Me…me too.” I didn’t want to cry again, I told myself. I had been crying all weekend and all it had done was dehydrate me almost to the point of death. Still, I couldn’t help the moisture that welled in my eyes at the thought of little Allegra wondering where I was and wishing I would come home to her…

  “Here,” he murmured and presented me with a clean white linen handkerchief beautifully embroidered with the initials AR in one corner.

  It was such an old-world, courtly gesture and so old-fashioned of him to have such a thing as an embroidered pocket handkerchief that I was distracted from my grief.

  “This is beautiful work,” I said, examining the inch-high golden letters in the corner of the handkerchief. I looked up at him shyly. “Who made it for you? A girlfriend back home?”

  Ari frowned.

  “Do you really think I would have pledged myself to nourish you if my heart was bound to another?”

  “I don’t know!” I exclaimed. It occurred to me that it was awkward to be having this conversation while still seated on his lap, but there didn’t seem to be any way of getting loose, for the time-being at least. “I don’t know why you’re doing any of this,” I went on. “Feeding me, protecting me…I mean, it just seems wrong for someone like me to ask for anything from someone like you—especially your blood.”