Fang and Claw: Nocturne Academy, Book 2

by Anderson, Evangeline

  “More likely they’re just looking for a way to get rid of me,” I snapped at him. “A way to get rid of the ugly, scarred girl who doesn’t belong—who will never belong—here.”

  “Be fair,” Ari said in a low voice. “Has anyone spoken of your scars in a disparaging way—well, other than Sasha Sanchez but she is nothing but a vrota—from the moment you came here to my land?”

  “They didn’t have to speak of it,” I said, looking away and not meeting his eyes. “I can see it when they look at me, Ari. I can tell I’m not welcome. That I’m not good enough.”

  “That’s not true!” There was the growl of his Drake in his voice and I felt both of their upset emotions flowing over me. But that only made me more upset.

  “It is true, Ari!” I insisted. I gestured at him. “Look at us—at you and me. We’re so mismatched it’s not even funny! No wonder your people don’t want me for their queen and your parents don’t want me for your wife—your L’lorna! We don’t belong together—not really. And I…” I shook my head. “I’ve been fooling myself all this time that we did. That someone like me could actually be with someone like you. But it’s all a load of crap—it can never be, never work—not really.”

  I wrapped my arms around myself and turned away from him, feeling sick inside. I knew deep down that I wasn’t being fair—knew that I was probably causing both Ari and his Drake untold anguish. But I couldn’t seem to help myself. My deep insecurity just came bubbling to the surface and despite my attempts to cultivate a better self-image, at that moment, it overwhelmed me.

  For a long moment Ari was silent, though I thought I could hear his Drake roaring with rage and pain. Then he took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him.

  “Kaitlyn…” His clear amber eyes were filled with anguish. “L’lorna,” he murmured. “What can I do to convince you of how beautiful you are to me? How can you ever believe me—or truly love me as I love you—if you cannot see past your own scars to the beauty and strength beyond?”

  I looked down, unable to meet his intense gaze anymore.

  “I don’t know what beauty you’re talking about,” I whispered, my throat tight with tears. “Please, Ari. I just…just want to be alone right now.”

  He nodded and dropped his hands.

  “I’ll leave you then. But please believe that I love you, Kaitlyn—I and my Drake love you—and we always will.”

  I didn’t answer him. How many times had he said that he loved me with no reply from me? Why couldn’t I let myself be free to love him like I loved his Drake? Why couldn’t I learn to love myself despite my scars? I had lectured Saint about needing therapy but that was a laugh—I still needed it myself.

  Why couldn’t I get over my past and reach for my future?

  I had no answers. I wanted to cry but I swore to myself I wouldn’t until he left. I didn’t want him gathering me up to comfort me—at that moment, I just wanted him gone.

  Ari went to the door of my room and stood there silent for a moment. Finally, he said,

  “I’ll come for you around two in the morning. Until then, Saint will be in the next room guarding you. Be ready to go.”

  And then he left the room and I was alone with my tears.

  91

  Kaitlyn

  I went to bed and cried until I fell asleep—which felt like hours. I hated myself for the way I had treated Ari, who had only ever been good and kind and loving to me. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I accept his love? Why couldn’t I accept myself and feel worthy of his love?

  But no matter how much I cried or how many pillowcases I ruined with the awful blood tears, I couldn’t find any answers. All I managed to do was dehydrate myself and get so thirsty my throat felt like sandpaper.

  Finally I got up and got some water—which helped, though only a little—and went back to bed. I had to be up early, I told myself. As in, the middle of the night. I couldn’t keep this up.

  I was so exhausted and miserable by that point, that my eyelids finally, mercifully shut on their own. My last thought was that when Ari came to wake me up, I would apologize to him. It wasn’t his fault that I was scarred by The Fire and couldn’t learn to love myself and accept his love as well. I would tell him I was sorry—that I would try to do better in the future—both in loving him and myself.

  But when someone woke me in the middle of the night, it wasn’t Ari at all.

  And it was certainly nobody who loved me.

  92

  Ari

  “I don’t understand her—maybe I never will.” I paced in my mother’s chambers, looking at the carpet woven with gold and pink threads as I talked. Within me, my Drake was still roaring with anguish. He also couldn’t understand Kaitlyn’s words—her apparent rejection of our love. Even now he was demanding to come out and be with her, to cuddle with her. He was certain he could make everything all right, if only he could touch her.

  I wasn’t sure he was wrong. Kaitlyn certainly seemed to have taken to him much more than me. At least, that was how it felt. Again, I had the absurd sensation of being jealous of myself—jealous of the other half of me. Why could Kaitlyn so easily accept a ten-ton beast with scales and talons who breathed fire than a male in human form who only wanted to hold and love her?

  “Oh, son…” My mother had been sitting on one of her pink chaises and watching me pace. “I take it she wasn’t happy with running away in the middle of the night?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “She wanted to stay and tell everyone the Blind Crone was lying or mistaken.”

  “Heavens forbid!” My mother looked at me anxiously. “The people would as soon hear that the sun wasn’t real!”

  She had a point. The Blind Crone had been the closest thing we had to a priestess here in the Royal Court. She had made so many predictions over the years and not a single one had ever been wrong. She was so respected that my own Sire consulted her before battles with other provinces and the other royals and nobles asked her for auspicious days on which to hold celebrations like Joining ceremonies and dedications.

  Had been respected, I reminded myself. She was dead now, dead after making the only wrong prediction she’d ever uttered. It was almost as though she’d been living at Court, deliberately building her flawless reputation for years all for this one moment so that everyone would believe her. And now she was gone and couldn’t take her prophecy back, even if she’d wanted to. Which I doubted—the Blind Crone had never gone back on a prediction or a seeing even once in my memory.

  “Kaitlyn is angry with me, Mother,” I told her, looking up from my pacing. “She doesn’t understand about the Blind Crone’s status and she thinks…” I sighed. “Thinks this is just a way for you and my Sire to get rid of her so the Court won’t have to keep seeing her and ask questions about her scars.”

  “Oh, Ari…” My mother looked truly upset at this. “Please tell her it isn’t so,” she said to me. “Though I wish your Drake would have chosen another, it isn’t because I don’t like Kaitlyn. She seems like a lovely girl and I can tell how deeply your Drake feels for her.” She sighed reminiscently. “It’s the same way your Sire’s Drake feels for me. Though my relationship with your father has endured ups and downs through the time we have been Joined, the love of his Drake has never wavered once—it’s the one true constant in my life.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I think I love your Sire’s Drake more than I love your Sire—though perhaps I shouldn’t tell you that.”

  “That’s the same way Kaitlyn seems to feel about me and my Drake!” I told her earnestly. “She loves him with her whole heart but it seems she gives only half her heart to me. I’m…I’m almost jealous of him.” I scuffed the toe of my boot against the carpet, feeling ashamed to admit it.

  “Don’t feel bad about your feelings, my son,” my mother said gently. She always had been able to read me and understand my emotions, even when I had a hard time speaking them aloud. “Your father struggles with the same thing,” she went on. “It’s
natural. For the human part of a male—any male—can never be as constant and unwavering as his Drake. And there just seems to be an instant connection between the right woman and a male’s Drake. I can’t explain it—maybe it’s the feeling of being loved so completely and unconditionally, no matter what.”

  She shook her head. “I remember that it took me a long time to believe that your father could actually care for me—a poor peasant girl who came from nothing when all around me were the fine noblewomen of the Court with their delicate white hands and refined manners who looked down on me constantly. I couldn’t understand why he would pick me over one of them. But with his Drake, well…” She shrugged. “I knew that he loved me for who I was and he didn’t care about my poor past or my rough hands, callused and scarred from doing hard labor for so many years before he plucked me out of my village and carried me off.”

  “It’s like that with Kaitlyn, I think,” I said slowly. “She can’t seem to believe that I would want her despite her scars. But Mother, I don’t even see them—she’s beautiful to me. She has been from the moment my Drake chose her.”

  “I know that, my son.” She smiled at me sadly. “But it may take some time for Kaitlyn to know it too—to really feel it in her bones. She’ll come to understand it at last—just be patient with her.”

  “I’m trying.” I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. “Dios…I suppose I should go to bed. I have to be up in a couple of hours.”

  “Come here.” My mother beckoned for me. I went and sat beside her and she drew me into a hug. When I finally pulled away, she was smiling, though sadly, I thought. “Give your L’lorna time,” she told me. “She’s a strong young woman. She’ll find her way to you eventually.”

  “Thank you for being kind to her, Mother,” I said, truly meaning it. “I know my choice hasn’t been easy for you or Father.” I grimaced when I remembered my Sire’s stony face when he had at last agreed to accept Kaitlyn as my L’lorna, though I’d had to threaten to exile myself to the human world permanently in order to get him to agree.

  “Your father will come around, too,” my mother said firmly. “And I suppose so will the people, after the Blind Crone’s last prophecy.” She sighed. “If only it were true! Of all times for her to be wrong…”

  “Well, what’s done is done,” I told her. “Maybe once Kaitlyn and I are Blood-Bonded in a couple of years we’ll come back and be able to start fresh.”

  She frowned. “Must you bond her to you, Son? You can have a Joining ceremony and still not take such a final step.”

  “Mother, I love her,” I said gently. “I want her to be mine in every way possible—and I want to belong to her as well.”

  She sighed. “I understand, I suppose. It just worries me—you Blood-Bonding yourself to a non-Drake. Once you do that, your lives are entwined forever. If she dies, so will you and vice versa.”

  “Nocturnes have extremely long life-times,” I reminded my mother. Though we had been hiding Kaitlyn’s Nocturne status from the rest of the Court—it was bad enough for them to think I had chosen a human for a L’lorna without admitting that she was actually another kind of Other—I could hide nothing from my own mother.

  “I know.” She smiled at me sadly. “I just want you to have a safe and happy life, Ari.” She patted my cheek. “But it seems your Drake has other plans for you. He always was one to go his own way.”

  I could certainly attest to that. When I was younger, my Drake had gotten me into many different scrapes by being so stubborn and obstinate about having his own way. But I couldn’t help agreeing with his choice of Kaitlyn as our L’lorna—there was something special about her—something no one but my Drake and I could see and he had seen it first when he chose her.

  I loved her as deeply and unconditionally as he did—I only hoped that my mother was right and I could make Kaitlyn see and understand that sometime in the future.

  I bid my mother goodnight and promised to write her regular letters from the human world, which would be carried by some of the other Drakes in my class at Nocturne Academy when they went back and forth to Court. As I always did, I felt better after talking to her. I and my Sire didn’t always see eye-to-eye and my Drake had often chafed under his rule, but my mother was the peace-maker between us and she always had words of wisdom for me.

  I left her chambers, lost in thought. I had my head down and was considering her advice to just be patient with Kaitlyn, which is probably why I didn’t see the danger coming my way.

  As I rounded the corner which led to the wing where my own chambers were located, four males rushed out of the shadows and hard hands gripped me.

  “Get him!” I heard one of them say—a familiar voice, though it was one I hadn’t heard since I’d left Nocturne Academy. “Get the manacles on him quick!”

  I started to shift a once—of course I did—my Drake could fight off my attackers much more quickly and efficiently than I could. But before I could let him out, I felt something cold and hard being locked around my wrists.

  Ignoring this, I tried once more to let my Drake out. But he couldn’t come. I felt him roaring and beating his wings restlessly inside me but for the first time in my life, I couldn’t let him out—couldn’t let the other half of myself go free.

  What was wrong with us? Why couldn’t he come out?

  “Got him,” the same familiar voice said. “Good luck letting your Drake out now, Alpha-to-be. Not wearing these inhibitor manacles.”

  Looking down, I saw I was indeed wearing two thick bands of greenish-gray metal like large bracelets. The metal was studded with gaudy dark red stones like garnets—Blood Stones, I saw. They had magical properties and could be used as both an enhancer and an inhibitor of magic.

  In this case, they were clearly inhibiting my shift from human to Drake.

  “This is ridiculous!” I looked up at my attackers and recognized Pedro Sanchez, who was grinning evilly at me. “Takes these off me right now, Sanchez!” I demanded.

  “Oh, I don’t think so.” His grinned widened. “Your Drake is more powerful than any in the land—well, other than your Sire’s. Why do you think we went to the trouble of getting a bruja to make us inhibitor manacles in the first place?”

  “Let me go!” I glared at him. “What do you want with me, anyway?”

  “Oh, it’s not you we want, Reyes.” Sanchez’s eyes gleamed in the dim, shadowy hallway. Even in the dim lighting, I could see the vivid blue handprint marking his left cheek like a warning. “It’s not you we want,” he said again. “It’s your sweet little L’lorna. That little puta did me wrong, and now she’s going to pay.”

  93

  Kaitlyn

  At first I thought the hands on me belonged to Ari—but they were so rough! Also, Mr. Seahorse was chiming angrily—almost bugling in the darkened room—and I knew my little pet wouldn’t react that way to Ari touching me.

  “What…who…?” I tried to sit up in bed and ask the questions filling my mind but a rough hand was slapped over my mouth before I could get out anymore.

  Mr. Seahorse was still chiming loudly—sounding like a doorbell someone was leaning on. One of my attackers—because there seemed to be several—made a snatch for him but he darted away.

  “Get him!” one of the men hissed. “He’ll warn that blasted Blood Drake next door and there’ll be Hell to pay!”

  As though hearing and understanding them, Mr. Seahorse darted quickly through the open window (I had left it cracked for him, in case he got hungry and wanted to go hunting in the middle of the night) and out into the garden.

  “It got away,” the other man answered.

  The one holding me swore.

  “Get her out of here, before—”

  But at that moment, a dark figure appeared at the window and I heard Saint’s voice say,

  “Let her go.”

  “Or what?” Suddenly something hard and sharp was pressed against my throat. I had been struggling desperately but now I let out a littl
e gasp of fear and held perfectly still.

  “Let her go or I’ll make you sorry.” Saint’s voice was flat and cold—utterly without emotion.

  “I don’t fear you or your Blood Drake, cabron,” the man holding me said. “Your Drake’s too big to fit here so you can’t shift. And you don’t dare chance a partial shift either—if you’re even strong enough to do one. You try to flame us and you’ll kill the girl too. Not that the fucking murder-Drake you carry inside you would give a damn about that. I hear he likes killing innocent girls.”

  For a moment Saint’s eyes went blood-red—I could see them glowing in the darkness like live coals. Then, without another word, he turned and launched himself from the window. I got a blurry glimpse of his changing in mid-air into a creature as black as midnight and then huge wings unfurled and beat the sky, driving him upwards and away.

  I couldn’t help the wash of terror and disbelief that came over me. Was that it? I’d thought that I could trust Saint—was he really just leaving me to my fate?

  Apparently so because the two men who had grabbed me laughed harshly and hauled me towards the door. I wanted to fight again, but the cold steel blade was still at my throat and I was so frightened I could barely breathe.

  What was happening? Where were they taking me? My mind filled with questions I had no answers for and my heart filled with fear. Was I going to die? Would I ever live to see my Coven-mates again? And where was Ari? Did he know what was happening to me? Was he safe? Could he help me? I knew he and his Drake would rescue me if they could—but what if they didn’t even know what was going on?

  Or what if they’re already dead? an insidious little voice whispered in my brain. What if Ari died thinking you don’t love him? What if those last, mean words you said to him are the last thing you’ll ever get to say?