The Round Yard

by Alissa Callen

  Sadness for what Neve’s grandmother must have endured losing her new husband so soon filled him. There’d been no mistaking their love and the joy on their wedding day. ‘What was the timeframe between your grandmother’s marriages?’

  ‘Eighteen months.’

  ‘That’s why she looks about the same age in the wedding photos. It does seem strange there isn’t any information about Edward. I’ll pass the name on to my father.’

  ‘Thanks, but only if things are okay between you.’

  Tanner shrugged. ‘What’s another uncomfortable phone call.’

  Applause signalled the end of the heavy horse talk, which was the final arena event for the day. Soon Arrow would be the only horse left in the portable yards.

  Neve glanced at the dispersing crowd and smothered a yawn. ‘It didn’t seem to take long to get here, but I have a feeling the drive back will feel a whole lot longer.’

  ‘You’ll also have to watch out for roos.’ He paused as Neve chewed on her lip. ‘I’m leaving soon … we could travel in convoy.’

  She studied him, expression guarded. ‘That would be the sensible thing to do.’

  He came to his feet and offered to take her empty coffee cup. ‘How about I meet you at the main road in twenty minutes?’

  She passed him her cup, stood and folded the chair she’d been sitting in. ‘Okay. Thanks. I’ll be there.’

  Tanner wasted no time loading the ute and making sure Arrow was comfortable in the float. For once the gelding didn’t fuss. He too had reached his attention threshold and wanted to go home.

  Tanner joined the throng of traffic leaving the field-day site, and when he reached the main road out of town, Neve’s white sedan was parked well off the bitumen. Soon she was driving behind him, her lights already on. His reasons for travelling together might be based on safety, but he’d found a way to spend a couple more hours with her even if they were in separate vehicles. After the first glance, he had to stop himself from looking in the rear-view mirror to make sure she was still there.

  Today had confirmed his worst fears. A week apart hadn’t diluted the pull she wielded on him. When he’d glimpsed her pushing the stroller with Maya by her side, he’d been hit by the same emotion and need as when he’d almost kissed her. He was just thankful that, apart from an initial wariness, what had happened between them at Claremont hadn’t resulted in her acting any differently. He valued their friendship and couldn’t again allow testosterone to overrule all common sense.

  His phone rang and he touched the screen on the dashboard to answer. Distracted by his thoughts, too late he registered it was his father’s number. ‘Tann—hi, Dad.’

  ‘Where are you? This line is atrocious.’

  ‘Driving. I’m coming up to a hill so it should improve.’

  ‘Your friend with you?’

  ‘No … she’s behind me. Her car doesn’t have a bull bar so we’re in convoy.’

  ‘She has a city car?’

  Even the echo from the hands-free phone line couldn’t disguise the approval in his reply.

  ‘Yes, but she’s not like the type of city girl you’re picturing. She rides horses, wears boots and is planning to stay here.’

  ‘But she was a city girl?’

  Tanner sighed. ‘Yes … the signal could drop out soon … did you take a look at the pictures?’

  ‘I did … but some more information would be useful.’

  ‘The man in the wedding picture now has a name—Edward Lance Jones. He was born in the United Kingdom.’

  ‘Jones, you say?’

  ‘Yes. Sorry, there’ll be a ton.’

  His father gave a chortle of laughter. ‘It could have been worse. I could be looking for a Smith.’

  The phone line crackled. Tanner’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. He needed the line to hold. His father had actually made a joke, let alone laughed. Apart from on his birthday, this was also the first time his father had called in a very long time.

  His father continued talking. ‘The man in the photo was most likely an instructor at the elementary flying school that was set up out there in 1940 as part of the Empire Air Training Scheme. It’s interesting he’s from the United Kingdom. He must have had some sort of expertise.’

  His father coughed and Tanner forced himself to wait in silence for the spasm to pass. Any further mention of him needing to see a doctor could end their phone call.

  His father gave a last small cough before speaking again. ‘I’ll see what I can find out.’

  ‘Thanks. Anything you discover will be great.’

  ‘Did this Neve of yours find a personnel war-service record?’

  ‘She says there isn’t any information about his time in Australia.’

  ‘That does complicate things, but it’s not unusual.’ His father sounded intrigued more than disgruntled. There also was a new vitality to his tone. His clever brain loved a mystery. ‘Thanks to non-standardised data collection, military records can sometimes be incomplete or inaccurate.’

  The line crackled again. ‘Dad, I’ll go now as my phone will soon drop out.’

  ‘That wouldn’t happen in the cit—’

  Tanner ended the call as his father’s voice faded. No matter what his father said, he’d never swap patchy phone reception for any city comfort.

  After checking on where Neve was, Tanner concentrated on the drive home. The late-afternoon shadows gave way to the gloom of dusk. The last flare of orange across the horizon ebbed and lights of approaching cars threw pools of white light across the bitumen.

  Tanner slowed as a large grey kangaroo bounded out of the scrub and along the gravel verge. The kangaroo veered sideways before jumping into the bush. Where there was one kangaroo there could be more. Movement flickered as a second smaller kangaroo popped its head up from where it had been grazing near a wattle tree a safe distance away.

  They’d soon clear the dense scrub and reach the white wooden bridge where Neve would turn to travel home on her familiar red dirt road. He drove over the crest of the hill, and as the bridge came into sight, he flicked on his blinker. It mightn’t be his smartest decision, but he’d say a quick goodbye in person. Next time he saw her she’d have the girls.

  He parked in a wide, grassed section of a track that led to a reserve that was part of a travelling stock route and popular for fishing. Amber flashed as Neve followed. He let the ute engine idle as he left the driver’s seat. Neve too kept her engine running as she exited her car.

  Both sets of headlights shone across the water that rippled as it flowed by. Overhead pinpricks of starlight cast tiny slivers of light. Somewhere far off an owl hooted, while close by crickets sang. A stiff breeze rushed past, its icy fingers delving beneath the collar of his shirt.

  Neve rubbed at her upper arms. ‘How can it be this cold when it was so hot earlier?’

  ‘After spending a Rocky Mountain winter in a log cabin, this temperature’s warm.’

  Neve’s smile flashed in the gloom. ‘At least I’m awake now. I must admit I was getting tired. How big was that roo? I thought he was going to jump in front of you.’

  ‘He was thinking about it.’

  The wind toyed with her hair, suddenly whipping it into her face. He half lifted a hand to smooth away the windblown strands before his fingers clenched and his arm lowered.

  Neve brushed the hair out of her eyes, and when her serious, intent gaze met his he couldn’t have moved even if he’d wanted to.

  ‘Tanner …’

  He had to bend to catch her quiet voice.

  ‘I know you won’t want to hear this … but … I’ve missed you.’

  Not stopping to think, he threaded his fingers into her silken hair and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He didn’t know if it was the cold or her admission that was causing her to shake. ‘You probably don’t want to hear this either … this past week of hardly seeing you has been … hell.’

  Her only reaction was to tilt her head against his pal
m. He’d never seen her eyes so large or so dark.

  ‘Which means …’ He pressed his mouth to her temple. ‘Next week will be too.’

  She lifted her chin to grant him access to the delicate satin hollows of her neck. ‘And the week after?’

  ‘More hell.’ He slid his other hand into her hair and kissed the point of her jaw. ‘But … there’s one thing I didn’t miss.’

  She turned her head so he could brush the corner of her lips. Her hands lifted to warm his chest before her palms curled over his shoulders. ‘What’s that?’

  Her question was little more than a whisper.

  ‘I didn’t miss …’ He lowered his head. Her shallow breaths feathered over his skin. ‘The constant battle to not do this.’

  He covered her mouth and kissed her with a restraint and a care that contained none of the hunger that erupted inside. But as her body aligned with his, and she dragged him closer, the latch securing all common sense slipped. She filled his arms like no other woman ever had. He deepened their kiss and lifted her off her feet so not even gravity could separate them.

  It was only the smash of an impatient hoof against metal that brought reality back into focus. They broke apart to breathe. His wrists were locked behind her waist. Her hands were tangled in his hair. Every ragged breath they drew was as if they were one.

  He loosened his grip just enough for Neve’s boot heels to touch the ground. Struggling to think, he rested his forehead against hers. She placed a hand against his cheek. In her trembling he could feel his own instability. For him everything, and yet nothing, had changed.

  He covered her fingers with his and turned her hand to kiss her palm. Despite things already being out of control, he sought her mouth. He couldn’t get enough of her. She stood on tiptoes to meet him. Her lips didn’t just touch him physically. Their softness and sweetness reached a place deep inside that had never felt the sun’s warmth.

  Arrow’s hoof smashed against the horse float.

  Neve smiled against his mouth. ‘I think that’s our cue to keep moving.’

  He eased himself away to tuck her tousled hair behind her ear. His fingers were unsteady. ‘I’ll call tomorrow.’

  ‘You’d better …’ Her fingertips traced the stubbled line of his jaw. ‘Because like Edna, I know what colour ute you drive.’

  CHAPTER

  11

  In the clear unforgiving light of day, regret bit deep.

  Neve stared unseeingly at the black-and-white photographs in the last wartime photo album. Her breakfast cup of tea sat cold and untouched beside her. Today she’d stayed inside instead of starting her day by sitting out on the veranda.

  Kissing Tanner hadn’t only made her senses rejoice, but also her heart. When his arms had anchored her to him like he’d never let her go, she’d felt as though something she’d been searching forever for had been gifted to her. She’d driven home on an emotional high, relieved that her admission about missing him hadn’t sent him running or led to any awkwardness.

  But if she could, she’d have unsaid her words. If she could rewind time, she’d have done anything to ensure there’d been no physical contact between them.

  She forced herself to focus on the photographs in front of her capturing the swirls of a summer dust storm. She turned the page to see pictures of locusts and the bare soil of ravaged paddocks. Wartime hadn’t only fractured families and brought personal hardship, it had also delivered challenges from nature.

  After three more page turns she reached the end of the album. Thanks to the photographs and the newspaper clippings in the scrapbooks, she had a much better understanding of the era despite not discovering any new information. She added the album to the pile beside her. But not finding any clues to her grandmother’s hidden life wasn’t the reason why this morning it felt as if a light had switched off inside her.

  When she’d arrived home from Mudgee last night, Graham had called to let her know at the end of the week he was having a fortnight off work to take the girls to the Sunshine Coast. Now the world spun around her. Now she questioned everything she felt towards Tanner.

  As she’d lain awake reliving the urgency and possessiveness in his touch, and all had seemed complete in her world, she realised a damning truth. She herself wasn’t complete.

  Yesterday at the field day after Graham had collected the girls, despite being surrounded by people, she’d never felt so lonely or displaced. Everywhere she looked there were families enjoying a day out, couples who shared intimate smiles and mothers and daughters whose laughter spoke of their close bond.

  Then Tanner had texted. When he did that, it was as if she mattered, as though she was a part of the world she’d been looking in on. He’d thrown her a lifeline and she’d latched onto it with a desperate grip. She hadn’t hesitated before she accepted his coffee offer, or agreed to his suggestion that they travel home together.

  She came to her feet to tidy the already spotless kitchen. The thought of being on her own for two weeks without the girls terrified her. She couldn’t remember a day, even while at school, when she wasn’t filling the cupboard with food, paying bills or dispensing medicine. Every minute had been accounted for and had had purpose. She didn’t know what to do with her spare time, let alone how to live a life that wasn’t centred around the needs of someone else.

  The sick, uncertain feeling that had gripped her after Graham’s phone call refused to leave. Were her fears of being alone pushing her towards Tanner? Was her need for stability and routine why she wanted him in her life? She didn’t think so, but what if that was the reason behind the intense pull she felt? A pull she’d never felt for any other man.

  Yes, she was attracted to him. Yes, he was a decent, good man who’d proved he’d be there for those who needed him. But she didn’t want to lead him on or to hurt him if her feelings didn’t stem from any genuine emotion.

  She stopped wiping the bench to frown through the kitchen window to where Bassie and Dell grazed. If her feelings were legitimate, then there was also the very real issue of how Tanner felt. He’d made it clear through his comment about there never being a marriage certificate with his name on it that he wouldn’t be looking for any long-term commitment. Finding a new direction in life couldn’t involve falling for a man who only did casual relationships. If she wasn’t careful, Tanner would break her heart.

  She finished cleaning the bench. As much as she would continue to miss him, her priority over the next two weeks had to be to solve her family mystery and to learn to live life by herself. There could be no more heady starlight kisses. It would only be when she was content with her company that she’d know for sure she wasn’t seeking Tanner out to make herself feel complete or to avoid being on her own. She’d then just have to deal with the issue of what they’d each want from a relationship when, and if, such a time ever came.

  She took a notebook out of the desk drawer in the play corner and started a list of things she could do on her own. It took five minutes and much pen tapping to come up with three things. When she’d got to her fifth activity, the mobile beside her rang. She dismissed the pang of nerves in her stomach that this could be Tanner calling.

  When she reached for her phone it was Fliss’s face that smiled out from the screen.

  Neve took a moment to make sure her voice would come across as cheerful. ‘Morning.’

  ‘Morning. You sound tired. Big day yesterday?’

  Neve briefly closed her eyes. So much for hiding anything from Fliss. ‘You could say that.’

  ‘There’s always so much to see. I heard Tanner’s missed his true calling.’

  ‘Has he?’

  ‘Yes, Taylor said he stole the show in the fashion parade.’

  ‘He didn’t say a word.’

  ‘He wouldn’t.’ Fliss chuckled. ‘He’s as humble as he is heartbreakingly handsome.’

  Neve didn’t quite know how to answer without incriminating herself so settled for a casual laugh.

  Fliss sp
oke again. ‘Are you busy? If I didn’t know better I’d say Cressy was avoiding me, so I’ve pulled rank as bossy big sister and said we’re going out for morning tea. I thought you might like to come?’

  ‘I’d love to. Where are we going?’

  ‘There’s a café in an old rail carriage on an alpaca farm not far from Reedy Creek. Yes, there will be alpacas.’

  ‘I’m in.’

  ‘Wonderful. We’ll pick you up in about an hour.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Beeps from her phone distracted her from replying to Fliss’s, ‘See you soon.’

  When she checked her screen, she discovered she had a missed call from Tanner. Mouth dry, she listened to his voicemail message. The deep timbre of his voice stirred her senses and made her yearn to see him. She replayed the message again.

  ‘Hi. Got roped into doing a shift on the tractor. When I’m done I was hoping I could call round. I think it’s best if we talk … in person.’

  Neve listened to the message for a third time but still couldn’t gauge his frame of mind. The content of his words did suggest that he too was having second thoughts about what had burned between them, even if his tone contained its usual warmth. If he was, then she should be feeling relief, not even more uncertain.

  She texted a reply. As he had farm work to do she didn’t want to distract him.

  Sorry missed call. Good idea. Home after lunch.

  After three checks of her phone to see if Tanner had answered, she turned off her mobile and stashed it in her handbag. At this rate she wouldn’t be out of her pyjamas by the time Fliss and Cressy arrived.

  When a car engine sounded, Neve collected her bag and headed out the front door. Cloud cover hung heavy overhead, but she wasn’t fooled. At the moment it was like having four seasons in one day. Beneath her warm denim jacket she wore a short-sleeved white dress. She’d also piled her hair into a cool and practical up-do.