The Round Yard

by Alissa Callen

  Neve’s spirits lifted at the fierceness in Ella’s tone. ‘Thank you, but one female talking about how he’s feeling might be enough.’

  ‘Very true. I’m sure he, Denham and Hewitt have a code for any conversation that doesn’t involve rodeos, cattle prices or bull bars as they suddenly seem to have something urgent to do over in the shed.’

  ‘I’m sure they do.’

  In silence they sipped their tea and watched the colour burst across the sky in brilliant pink-and-gold streaks. By now the dawn birdsong had reached its crescendo and murmured voices could be heard inside nearby tents.

  ‘It’s a new day,’ Ella said in a solemn tone that made Neve think the vet said this as an affirmation every morning.

  The sunrise faded and a mob of kangaroos came out of the trees to the left of the marquee. Two young joeys stood on their hind legs and wrestled while the adults grazed on the dew-soaked grass. In the distance dust lifted on the road out of Glenmore.

  Tanner was taking Cressy and Denham to catch the red-eye flight from Dubbo. They’d fly to Sydney and then on to London and Europe. Neve stared at the dust as it settled. The dawn chill seeped through the layers of her jacket and she shivered. She could only hope that whatever roads Tanner then travelled, they brought him back to her.

  Ella came to her feet. ‘Staying for breakfast?’

  ‘I don’t think I can stomach any food.’

  ‘Hang in there.’ Ella rubbed her back. ‘I’ve money on Tanner returning before the five days are up. How about I help you load your car so you can get home before too many roos are out?’

  After Neve had had a hot shower and visited Jazz, Bassie and Dell, she’d managed to eat half a piece of toast. She wished she shared Ella’s faith and positivity. The bleakness in Tanner’s eyes and the emptiness in his voice continued to steal her appetite.

  She was fooling herself that she was making progress on her latest knitting project when car tyres sounded on the gravel driveway. Through the living-room window she saw Meredith’s grey sedan pull up outside.

  Neve pressed a hand to her stomach. Meredith coming to visit highlighted how serious it was that Tanner had left. She went to open the front door.

  Meredith greeted her with a strained smile. For the first time since she’d met her, Meredith appeared fragile. ‘Sorry, Neve, the last thing you’d want this morning is a visitor … but I thought it could be good if we talked.’

  ‘Of course. I’m glad you came.’ Neve led the way inside. ‘Cuppa?’

  Meredith glanced at Neve’s unfinished breakfast on the kitchen bench. Compassion filled her blue eyes. ‘Only if you’re having one.’

  She nodded. Not because she wanted one but because it would give her something to do.

  Meredith took a seat at the kitchen table. ‘Tanner called about an hour ago. I thought he was ringing to say Cressy and Denham caught their plane okay, but he was really calling to fill me in on what happened last night and where Arrow and Patch were.’

  Neve concentrated on adding boiling water to the teapot before looking across at Meredith. ‘I’m hoping it’s a good sign he called.’

  ‘It is.’

  Neve placed the teapot and mugs on the table. Neither said anything while she poured their tea.

  Then Meredith spoke as she drew her mug towards her. ‘Tanner hasn’t ever said anything, but I know how hard it’s been for him to feel settled here. I’d hoped with time … and love … he’d feel like Claremont is his home and this is where he belongs.’ A small smile relaxed Meredith’s face. ‘Then he came to help you with Bassie and Dell and the light that I’d longed to see in his eyes was there.’

  Neve took a mouthful of tea to hide her despair. Whatever he felt for her it also hadn’t been enough to make him feel settled or to stay.

  Meredith reached across the table to squeeze her hand. ‘He loves you, Neve, even if he hasn’t said so. This past week he actually used the word “home” and talked about the future with a new joy and certainty. I also think … hope … you feel the same way about him?’

  ‘I do … but what happens if he doesn’t come back or when I go to him love isn’t enough?’

  ‘You’ll know what to do and what to say. You can reach him when no one else can.’

  This time Neve covered Meredith’s hand with her own. ‘Meredith, he loves you too … so much. Please don’t ever doubt it.’

  ‘I just want him to be happy … to feel like he belongs somewhere.’

  ‘You and I both want the same things for him … together we can help each other to help him.’

  ‘We can.’

  Meredith sipped at her tea and the high emotion between them eased as they each took a moment to collect themselves.

  When Meredith was carrying the empty mugs into the kitchen, Neve’s mobile rang. The caller was Graham. ‘Hi, sorry to call on a Sunday, but Maya and Kait woke up with colds so I’ll keep them home until they’re well.’

  ‘Are you sure? I don’t mind them coming.’

  ‘You do so much for us I don’t want you to get sick too. I also could do with a few days here. Cath’s garden’s a mess.’

  Happiness for Graham slid through her. This was the first time she’d heard him mention his wife’s name. Sibylla had also texted that she’d had fun with the girls and that they’d had the sniffles but otherwise were okay. Graham just wanted to spend time with his daughters.

  ‘If you need anything let me know. Please say hi to the girls.’

  ‘I will.’

  Neve ended the call and turned to see Meredith watching her from over near the sink. ‘Come and stay with me,’ the older woman said, voice gentle. ‘The next few days will be tough on your own.’

  ‘Thanks, but I’ve a letter to write to Edward Jones’s sister and also need to go through my bookshelf. I want to take some more books to the new street library at the adventure playground.’

  ‘Okay, but if you change your mind there’ll be a room made up for you.’ Meredith gave her a tight hug. ‘Ring me at any time.’

  Despite their solidarity, as she waved Meredith off Neve knew the fear that lingered in Meredith’s eyes was mirrored in her own. As much as they would do all that they could to help Tanner, the decision to stay could only be made by the man who was somewhere out on the long paddock alone except for his horse and his dog.

  Day one of Tanner’s quest for peace passed in a numb, fog-like haze.

  Even when at the wedding he’d taken his swag down to the river to be near the sound of running water, he’d failed to sleep. He’d kept up the act of everything being okay as he drove Cressy and Denham to Dubbo airport. It was when he’d returned to Claremont to load Arrow and to get his gear that his mask had slipped. When he’d called Meredith he hadn’t tried to hide where, or why, he was going. She’d have sensed his torment, even though they’d only been talking by phone.

  Not having a plan about where he’d go, he headed for the reserve he and Neve had visited to look at the wartime hideaways. At least there he’d feel as though she was with him. Her compassion and empathy still humbled him. He didn’t deserve her understanding or her patience in giving him time. That night, even with Patch snoring at the foot of his swag, the sorrow widening her eyes haunted his dreams.

  Day two of his time away to think involved a long ride on Arrow. But as much as he allowed the serenity and silence to soak into his soul, his thoughts refused to cooperate. They thrashed and tangled until they resembled the thickets of spiny box thorn that choked the base of the gum trees.

  To his heart the way forward was clear. He needed to be with Neve. The feeling was growing that perhaps he’d pushed her away to test her or to force her to reject him. Except she hadn’t. She’d stuck by him. But just when he thought everything made sense, the arguments of his self-preservation failed to give ground. He couldn’t risk that she wouldn’t then walk away when her life was back on track.

  By that night the only decision he’d reached was that he had to see her.
He also wasn’t waiting five days. It was as though a part of him couldn’t breathe when away from her. It would only be through talking to Neve that he would make sense of the noise in his head. So he’d packed up camp and slept in the horse truck ready for an early start. He had a small window in which to see her before Graham dropped off the girls.

  Day three of Tanner being away, the fly-in locusts arrived.

  He awoke to an eerie silence. When he looked out the truck window, a golden glow shrouded the bush. Tiny bodies and wings filled the sky, creating constant movement and absorbing all the blue. The abundance of feed after the wet spring meant the second generation of locusts had thrived. Ravenous, they travelled together in dense migrating bands towards areas of autumn-sown wheat.

  He texted to let everyone know where the locusts were, then went to check on Arrow in his portable yard. The gelding gave him a long-suffering look and stamped his foot to dislodge the locusts climbing on his leg. Last night’s lucerne hay had been stripped and all that was left were thick stalks. Bumps peppered his back as miniature bodies collided with him. Patch went to chase a locust that flew too close to his nose, but as locusts engulfed him, he retreated to the horse truck.

  Tanner loaded Arrow. After checking the fly netting he’d covered the truck radiator in last week was secure, he left the reserve.

  It was as though he was in the middle of a locust storm. Sandy brown bodies flew straight towards him or lay across the dirt road in drifts. Driving slowly, he made sure his headlights stayed on so oncoming traffic would know he was approaching.

  By the time he hit the bitumen the density of the winged insects had thinned. By the time he was halfway home, he drove at a normal speed with only a handful of locusts pelting the windscreen. Meredith’s garden and Neve’s vegetables would be safe for the moment, along with Phil’s winter wheat crop.

  Once at Claremont he unloaded Arrow and gave the front of the truck a quick pressure-wash. Patch disappeared in the direction of the chook pen. The border collie would be happy to stay while he went to see Neve.

  Meredith’s car wasn’t in the garage, and when he went to the house for a shower she also hadn’t been inside. He left her a note saying he was back and he’d talk to her soon. He’d deliberated about saying more, but until he talked to Neve he was no closer to finding a way through his emotional chaos.

  He made sure netting covered his ute radiator, and that he had a spare piece for Neve’s car, before taking the shortcut to Rosewood. Even with the locusts adding time to his journey, he’d arrive before the girls were dropped off. As he drove through the front gate smoke spiralled from the chimney, and Dell and Bassie were munching on their morning hay. He parked in his usual place beneath the cedar tree. As he walked towards the front veranda he rolled his shoulders and strove for calm. He had no idea what to say when he saw Neve, but he’d come too far to now run again.

  Palms cold and heart hammering, he knocked on the front door. Nothing. No footsteps. No sound. He waited and then knocked again. Still nothing. He turned to study the garage. The closed door gave no clue as to whether or not Neve’s car was inside. He followed the veranda around to the back of the house and peered through the kitchen window. No lights were on, but the small black rectangle on the bench appeared to be Neve’s phone. When he dialled her number, lights flashed from inside as her mobile rang.

  He headed to the garage to open the side door. The interior was empty. He dialled Meredith. Perhaps Neve didn’t have the girls today and had gone out, leaving her phone behind.

  ‘Hi, darling …’ Relief quickened Meredith’s words. ‘Where are you?’

  ‘At Neve’s, but she isn’t here. Are you in town?’

  ‘Yes, at the café. I would have thought she’d have been there. She didn’t say she was going anywhere when we spoke last night.’

  Guilt twisted inside. He would have been the reason Meredith and Neve had needed to speak. ‘There’s no sign of her car anywhere, is there?’

  ‘No. I’m with Edna and we’ll both keep an eye out.’

  Meredith’s mention of Edna had been natural, but it also had let him know Meredith would be careful about what she said.

  ‘Neve’s phone’s still here so she can’t have gone far.’

  ‘She wouldn’t have. Last night she’d almost finished the book she’d been reading, so she might be on her way to the library. She also was going to take some books to the adventure playground. I’ll let you know if I see her.’

  ‘Thanks. I will too. Love you.’

  ‘Love you too, son.’

  He tapped his phone against his leg. The library in the old train station didn’t open until eleven, which was hours away. Neve’s left-behind phone also suggested she’d been distracted. On a hunch he jogged to his ute. There was another place Neve went to find books, a place she’d already visited when troubled: the Reedy Creek Hall.

  When the first locust hit his windscreen, he didn’t give his worry full rein. But when one turned into twenty and there was no doubt the wind currents had swept the locusts towards Reedy Creek, dread settled deep into his gut.

  Neve’s sedan wasn’t equipped to drive through a dense locust swarm. Insect-cleaning agent wouldn’t have been added to her windscreen washer system and it was unlikely she’d have anything with which to clean locusts off her car. Her radiator air inlet also wasn’t covered, which left her car at risk of overheating.

  With his speed reduced to a crawl and locusts hampering his visibility, it felt like a lifetime until he saw the sign saying the village of Reedy Creek lay ahead. He hadn’t passed Neve’s car on the road, which gave him hope she either had made it here before the locusts hit or hadn’t come this way after all.

  Through the swarm he could just make out the corrugated line of the hall and the fence of the adjacent tennis courts. As he drove closer he saw the blurred shape of a white sedan. Tension drained from his body to be replaced by a sense of sheer relief. Neve was here and not stranded by the roadside anywhere. He parked beside her car and texted Meredith a quick message.

  Then, not sparing any time to collect himself, he ran through the locusts to the front alcove of the hall. The slam of insects against his skin stopped as his boots rang on the wooden floorboards. At first all he registered was the bookshelf in front of him. Then movement to his left had him swing around. Neve looked up from where she sat in a sheltered corner, legs crossed, reading.

  He wasn’t sure who moved first. All he knew was that Neve’s book thudded to the floor and he’d only taken a few strides when she was in his arms. He didn’t have time to think, all he could do was feel. The steady pounding of his heart gave him the answers he’d been searching for and had been afraid to heed. Loving Neve and making a future together was worth every risk he had to take. Without her, he had no life. Without her, his world had no substance.

  He framed her face with his hands.

  ‘It hasn’t been five days?’ Her words were rushed and breathless.

  ‘It shouldn’t have even been one day. I love you, Neve and should never have left.’

  She didn’t reply, just kissed him. Her tight hold on his shoulders and the beat of her heart against his left him in no doubt that she’d meant every word about working through things together.

  He lifted his head to brush tousled hair from her face. A day wasn’t going to pass without him sliding his fingers through the vibrant, red-gold strands. He’d wasted so much time.

  He spoke, uncaring that emotion would thicken his words. ‘I don’t just love you, I want to grow old with you and have our own little redheads that ask a million questions.’

  ‘I want that too. So very much.’ The radiance of her smile matched the luminous light in her eyes. ‘I love you, Tanner and there’s no other place I want to be but by your side.’

  This time their kiss was a promise and a declaration, a resolution and a commitment.

  It took a locust flailing in Neve’s hair and another crawling over his cheek to break them
apart. She touched his jaw as if proving to herself he was really there.

  ‘Tanner … I just want you to know that you’ll always be safe with me. I’m not going anywhere.’

  He laced his fingers with hers and kissed the back of her hand. ‘I know that … now.’ He grinned and bent to pick up her forgotten book. ‘I also know somewhere else I’d rather be.’

  Together they turned towards the hall steps. Beyond the alcove the world was a seething, flickering locust cloud as thick as any snowstorm.

  She brushed a locust from off his shirtsleeve. ‘I was waiting for them to fly over so I could get home. I need to put some of that netting on my car.’

  He stole another kiss before he answered. ‘I have some for you, but I think that can wait until we come back for your car.’

  ‘I think so too. There’s no need to drive two cars back.’ Eyes filled with light and laughter, she took hold of his hand, ready to make a run for his ute. ‘Our time would be much better spent making the most of my empty house before the girls return tomorrow.’

  CHAPTER

  19

  If Neve never saw a locust again, it would be too soon.

  Even though the swarm never made it to Woodlea, the damage to the crops, pastures and gardens around Reedy Creek had broken her heart. Just like the locusts in the black-and-white photographs in Meredith’s family albums, they’d left behind nothing but bare earth and deep despair.

  The emotional and financial damage inflicted by the tiny winged insects had been substantial. Farmers were having to re-sow crops, gardens were having to be started all over again and places like the Alpaca Café were in need of feed for their animals.

  Edna and Meredith had organised a plant-and-hay donation day at the Reedy Creek Hall. Today Neve was over at Claremont helping Meredith pot up cuttings. She pressed a geranium shoot into a terracotta pot. The truth was she didn’t need any excuse to spend the weekend at Claremont.