Canary Island Song

by Robin Jones Gunn

  Carolyn went over to Tikki, wrapping her arms around her daughter’s neck and hugging her close. What a beautiful, selfless send-off her daughter had given her without any sense of awareness that love and hope and Matthew were waiting down the road for her. Tikki could have pouted and said what a difficult time she was going through with the job change and the breakup and how she needed to know that her mom was only a quick drive away when she needed her. But Tikki had said none of that.

  “Thank you,” Carolyn whispered into Tikki’s short hair. “I love you.”

  “I know you do. And I love you, too, Mom.”

  They kissed each other on the cheek, and Carolyn tasted her daughter’s salty tears.

  “Besides,” Tikki said, pulling back and shooting a smile at her abuela, who was loading up two plates with eggs and sausages, “I think it’s Abuela’s turn to keep an eye on you for a while. I’ve had to keep this wild child in line all these years. I think it’s your turn now. Just watch out for her tendency to redecorate on a whim. She’ll have you up at midnight painting your walls.”

  “Not here she won’t. This is still my nest. If she wants to paint something, she’ll have to go to Bryan’s stepmother’s home. She’ll find plenty to fix up over there.”

  Carolyn’s spirit did a little flutter thinking of fixing up that old house. She remembered it well. Oh, the things she could do with the place! It hadn’t occurred to her that entering into the renovation project with Bryan might be one of the things she would do in the next few months. The possibility made her even more excited about the future.

  The three of them sat down together to enjoy their lovingly prepared breakfast. Before any of them took a first bite, Carolyn said, “Wait. I’d like to pray first.” They linked hands, and Carolyn prayed simply and sincerely, from her heart, thanking God for her mother, her daughter, and the food.

  After Carolyn said, “Amen,” Tikki added a willowy, “And God bless Bryan and keep him safe.” Tikki caught her mom’s eye and gave her a wink.

  Carolyn countered with, “And God bless Matthew and keep him safe too.” She immediately saw the shadow of sadness pass in front of Tikki’s eyes and regretted the small tease. She didn’t intend to hurt Tikki.

  Keep your mouth closed, Carolyn. Don’t blow this surprise for Matt. Don’t mess with your poor daughter’s emotions. Just hold it together for a little longer.

  Tikki reached for her napkin and dotted the tears in the corner of her eyes. “I can’t believe I’m still crying over him.”

  Both Carolyn and her mother gave Tikki sympathetic glances. But Carolyn could see in her mother’s eyes the same glimmer of secret hope that Carolyn was trying hard to conceal.

  Tikki bravely gave them both a smile. “Why am I so emotional every time I think about Matthew? How much longer will it take before I can just be here with you both and not feel so sad and lonely when his name comes up?”

  Carolyn pressed her lips together. She didn’t dare open her mouth. She knew she could not be trusted with what might pop out.

  Her mother looked at Tikki with deep kindness. “Not much longer, mi niña. Not much longer.”

  “Más vale tarde que nunca.”

  “Better late than never.”

  BRYAN ARRIVED WITH a ready appetite for Abuela’s plate of eggs and sausages and joined them at the table. Suddenly the kitchen felt full. Just like Carolyn’s heart.

  “How did the dance lessons go yesterday?” Bryan asked.

  “Great,” Tikki said.

  “Really amazing,” Carolyn said.

  “Perfecto,” was the response from Carolyn’s mother.

  “And how was your lunch at Al Macaroni?”

  “Perfecto,” Carolyn’s mother replied again. This time her answer sufficed for all of them. Carolyn suspected they all were a bit enamored of Bryan as they sat in a cluster and watched him eat.

  Tikki asked him, “How did your meeting go yesterday? I thought we might see you when you left the restaurant, but I think we left before you did.”

  He nodded. “I think you did,” he said before taking a gulp of coffee.

  “Let the poor man eat,” Carolyn’s mother said.

  “My meeting went about as well as I hoped. My stepsister isn’t very happy that I’ve turned down her original offer for the house, and she doesn’t like the attorney I’ve hired, but I think we’ll be able to work it all out in a way that’s fair to everyone.”

  “And how is her husband?” Carolyn’s mother raised an eyebrow in such a way that only Bryan and Carolyn would catch the underlying meaning to her question. Bryan said before that he hadn’t told anyone in his family about his stepsister’s affair. The Casanova appraiser who practically kicked Bryan out of his office apparently assumed that Bryan would divulge the man’s secret or try to blackmail him. Carolyn’s mom wasn’t the only one curious about the status of the fuse on this potential powder keg.

  “They’re still happily married, as far as I know.” Bryan scooped up another forkful of eggs, and the topic seemed to be closed.

  Carolyn and her mom exchanged small glances that said, “Well, isn’t that interesting?”

  Rising from the table, Carolyn said, “I’m going to get my purse.”

  “What’s the rush, Mom? Let Bryan finish eating like Grandma said.”

  Tikki had changed into a pair of jeans and a crumpled shirt. Carolyn gave her a closer look. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “I just wondered if you were thinking of changing.”

  “No, I already changed. This is my final selection. Why? Is there something wrong with it?”

  Carolyn backed down. “No, you’re fine. You look great. Your new haircut looks really cute. You’re fine just the way you are.” She was so caught up in trying not to give any hint that Matthew would be waiting for them that she fumbled through the most basic comment. She slipped out of the kitchen and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Better to put a toothbrush in her mouth than her foot.

  Part of it, she knew, was also her nerves about being around Bryan. They were the best kind of nerves. The butterfly kind of nerves. Carolyn tried to calm down and told herself that she needed to pull back and let this day be about Tikki and Matthew. She could tell Bryan later that she had decided to stay.

  A tap sounded on the bathroom door, and Tikki let herself in. “Mom, I think I’m going to pass.”

  “What do you mean pass?”

  “I think I’ll stay home.”

  “No!” The word leaped from Carolyn’s throat and startled Tikki. “I mean, why would you want to miss the camel rides? This was on your list. You’ve been looking forward to it.”

  “I know, but I think it might be better if just you and Bryan went. You need to tell him your big decision to stay here, and you’ll have lots to talk about after that. I’ll just be in the way.”

  “No, you won’t. You absolutely will not be in the way. You have to come, Tikki. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance. It’s really important to me that you be there. Besides, I was just thinking that I want to wait and talk to Bryan about my decision after everything anyway.”

  “What do you mean by ‘everything’?”

  “After the camel rides.”

  Tikki squirted toothpaste on her toothbrush. “You and Abuela are both making such a big deal of this. She convinced me to change my shirt. For the photos, she said. I hope this big buildup doesn’t turn into a big letdown like that movie was that we went to for my tenth birthday. Do you remember?”

  Carolyn wasn’t sure she remembered, but she said she did, just to leave the bathroom and speed things along. The sooner they reached the camels and Matthew, the better. Grabbing her purse and a sweater, Carolyn dipped back into the kitchen where Bryan stood by the sink, wiping dishes for Abuela. He was all smiles.

  “Your mother told me,” he said. “That’s really great news.”

  Carolyn gave her mom a scowl. Why would she steal Carolyn’s thunder and tell Brya
n that she had decided to stay? That should be her decision and her announcement.

  Bryan lowered his voice and leaned closer. “Tikki has no idea he’s going to be there, does she?”

  Carolyn’s posture relaxed. Her mother hadn’t spilled the happy beans. Bryan was referring to Tikki’s good news. Not hers.

  “No, she doesn’t know. But we need to get going. I’m really bad at keeping secrets.”

  Bryan gave her a closer look, as if trying to read for hints on her decision about staying. Carolyn gave him a winsome hint of a smile, and he gave her a half smile back.

  In her heart, right then and there, if Carolyn hadn’t already decided, she would have willingly stepped out of the safe cocoon of her life and into the risk of exploring a relationship with Bryan based simply on the closeness she felt during their exchange of small smiles.

  And the man had a kitchen towel in his hand. He knew how to score points with her in all the right areas.

  The drive to Maspalomas was redeemed by Bryan’s ability to keep Tikki talking. If it had been up to Carolyn to carry the conversation between just her and Tikki, she would have cracked. The way it was, she could keep her gaze fixed out the window while Bryan heard thorough descriptions of Tikki’s previous job and her roommate, but then it leaked out—her “old boyfriend” who liked to play softball.

  “Where did you meet him?”

  “In college. He went out a couple of times with my roommate Jenna, and we all started hanging out together. Matt and I took the same class the next semester, and we started studying together and …”

  “So you stole your roommate’s boyfriend,” Bryan teased.

  “No, it wasn’t like that at all. They went out only twice. We’re all still good friends.”

  “Where did you go to school?”

  “It’s a small Christian college in southern California you probably never heard of. Rancho Corona University.”

  Bryan shot her a glance in the rearview mirror. “My son went there his senior year. So did his wife, Christy. Did you ever run into Todd Spencer?”

  “No way! Are you kidding me?” Tikki fwapped Bryan on the shoulder. “Of course I know Todd and Christy! I went to their wedding. It was so beautiful.”

  “It was,” Bryan said with a grin. “I was my son’s best man.”

  “Yes! That must be why you looked familiar at the airport. I thought you were one of my uncles that I’d seen only in photos. I can’t believe this! You’re Todd’s dad? That’s crazy. I kind of see the resemblance, though. Wow!”

  Carolyn didn’t recognize the people Tikki was talking about, but she was glad the two of them had struck upon another topic that would keep Tikki distracted until they arrived in Maspalomas.

  “And did you know that Christy was from Wisconsin?” Tikki asked.

  “Yes, I did know that.”

  “Well, my boyfriend was from the same town. He and Christy actually went to elementary school together, and I think she’s a big part of the reason he looked into going to Rancho. I suspect he had a crush on her for a while back in the day.”

  “So now you’re telling me you stole my daughter-in-law’s old boyfriend too. Is that it?”

  Tikki laughed, and the lightness sounded good to Carolyn.

  “No, no. Nothing like that. You of all people should know that with your son and his wife it was Todd and Christy forever. Matthew Kingsley never messed with that equation. I doubt any other guy or girl ever came between the two of them. As a matter of fact, I heard Todd talk at church one night about how he was a ‘one-woman man,’ and how he had set his affection on Christy from the day he met her. Your son is quite a romantic.”

  Tikki leaned back and let out a melancholy sigh. “But he is one in a million. Not all of us end up with the person we think we’re going to end up with.”

  Carolyn was biting her lower lip so much she had nibbled a row of tiny blisters. It was killing her to keep a straight face as she listened to Tikki. She wanted to tell Bryan to drive faster.

  “And some of us do,” Bryan said calmly. “Eventually.”

  Carolyn wanted to glance at Bryan, but she kept her gaze straight ahead. His words were piercing. It seemed he was talking to Carolyn as much as he was talking to Tikki. The tenderness in his voice captivated her. The way he was interacting with her daughter filled up a place in Carolyn’s heart that had been empty for a long time.

  “Tikki, with some men it takes awhile,” Bryan said. “It’s not you; it’s him. He needs to learn the hard way what a gift you are. He needs to make it clear that he wants to be with you, and nothing or no one will get in his way this time.”

  Again, Carolyn felt Bryan’s words were meant for her as much as they were for Tikki. Her heart beat faster. She wanted to reach over and give his arm a squeeze. But she didn’t. She looked out the window and kept pressing her lips together.

  Tikki had grown quiet in the backseat. Carolyn was sure that somewhere in the middle of Bryan’s last statement Tikki also had picked up the deeper message Bryan was broadcasting from the driver’s seat. The hesitancy Tikki had expressed about coming with them was being validated. If she wasn’t with them, they would be discussing their future at this very moment.

  But Tikki was here, and they were almost at Maspalomas. Now, if only they could find a new topic. Something less loaded with emotion.

  “It sure is a beautiful day.” Carolyn inwardly cringed over her wimpy choice of topics.

  Neither Bryan nor Tikki took the bait. Thankfully, they were pulling into a parking area that had a sign in Spanish and German with a picture of a camel.

  “Is this it?” Carolyn asked.

  “I think it is. We have to walk toward the dunes.” Bryan turned off the car’s engine.

  As soon as Tikki was out her door, she took Carolyn by the arm and whispered, “I shouldn’t have come. This should have been your day, Mom.”

  With a slightly swollen-lipped smile, Carolyn whispered back, “It’s your day too. It’s both our days. We’ll share, okay?”

  Tikki gave her a puzzled look, and Carolyn knew she would fumble things if she said anything else. Strapping her purse over her shoulder, she pulled out her sunglasses and looked around as inconspicuously as she could for any trace of Matthew. Their only plan had been for him to show up at the camel ride.

  “Ready?” Bryan asked.

  Carolyn nodded. The three of them walked toward the enclosed area in the sand where the pointed top of a large, Arabian-style tent poked up from the center of the compound. Carolyn could smell the camels before she saw them. When she observed the several dozen beasts of burden all linked together in a train and in a seated position in the shade, she felt both sorry for them and amazed at them.

  “They have such gentle faces. Like giraffes.” Tikki headed toward the first gathering of six camels without hesitation.

  “Do you see him anywhere?” Bryan whispered.

  Carolyn scanned the area. The big tent’s two front flaps were open, and she guessed that was where they bought tickets for the rides. A group of tourists was just arriving and following a leader to the small building on the other side of the tent. Two men in Moroccan-style flowing robes stood near the camels, talking with each other in a language Carolyn didn’t recognize.

  “No, I don’t see him. Maybe he’s in the tent. Or over by the building where the tour group went.”

  Bryan called to Tikki and said they were going to buy tickets. She left the camels and joined them. In the fifteen minutes it took to arrange everything for their excursion, Matthew was nowhere to be seen. All the while Carolyn and Bryan kept exchanging small glances, communicating with their eyes, a tilt of their heads, or a twitch of their lips.

  When they and the tour group were ready to climb onto the camels, Bryan stalled, saying he had forgotten his phone in the car and needed to retrieve it. As soon as he was far enough away not to hear, Tikki asked, “Okay, what’s going on? Seriously, Mom.”

  “What do you mean?” Carol
yn stepped into the shade under the vivid canopy of a wide-spreading, deep magenta-colored bougainvillea bush. She positioned herself so that she could watch the opening to the compound while Tikki stood where she couldn’t see who was entering or exiting.

  “You can’t play dumb with me, Mom. This isn’t like pretending that you’re sleeping.”

  Carolyn looked down. “I’d tell you if I could, Tikki, but I can’t. I can’t tell you.”

  “Oh, you don’t have to tell me. It’s all over your face. Even with your sunglasses on, I can see it in your eyes. You and Bryan have your own little silent love language going on. And I know you don’t need me to translate it for you the way Abuela translates for us. Mother, the man is completely taken with you. He’s crazy about you!”

  Carolyn felt like saying, “Oh, that!” She felt relieved that Tikki hadn’t caught on to the surprise of Matthew’s arrival.

  “So tell me what’s going on. Has he told you how he feels about you?”

  “Not really. Things are just beginning for us.”

  “More like restarting.”

  “Okay, restarting. But you know, relationships take time, honey. I’m not going to rush into anything. I’m staying here so that I can give myself the opportunity to see what might be there for us long-term.”

  Tikki put both her hands on her hips as they had done in their dance lessons, fisherman’s wife style. Just before she delivered some well-chosen words to her mother, Carolyn looked over Tikki’s shoulder and there, entering the compound, was Matthew.

  He looked as if he had run all the way. He glanced at the camels, glanced at the tent, and then, noticing Carolyn and Tikki, he plowed forward toward where they stood.

  With conviction Tikki said, “Mom, don’t let fear make any of the decisions for you or slow down your relationship until it trickles away to nothing and dies. If you love him and he loves you and you know it, then tell each other openly, get married, and get on with your lives together.”