He's got it coming: Love is the best revenge

by Alexandra Winter

  On the steps up to the bar entrance is a red carpet, and we both sigh in relief that neither of us fell and broke a bone getting here. Every winter, it’s the same where one day it rains, and then the next it freezes, snows, and rains again. No matter how many times the city plows and scatters gravel or salt, nature mocks all efforts by recovering everything with ice.

  “Happy birthday.” Henrik grins at me as he grabs the brass door handle to let me in.

  I stop. “What do you mean?” He wished me a happy birthday this morning. There’s something off in his grin, his eyes, like he’s anticipating something. “Are we eating here and not just stopping by for a beer?”

  “Maybe.” He opens the door, then backs himself in before me.

  My pulse races and I step back. “What do you mean, maybe?” I try my best to sound as happy as I can when on the inside I’m panicking.

  I’ve seen this move from you before.

  In what feels like lightning speed, I scan through every scenario possible, but nothing jolts my memory of any plan he might have made.

  I step back again, further away from the door.

  What the hell is going on?

  A gust of cold wind lifts the red mat I’m standing on, almost flipping it over as if signaling a red flag in my face.

  “Coming?” As if directing me, his hands make a wavelike motion, and it hits me.

  Katelyn’s surprise party. That’s how you entered the surf house where her friends were filming.

  “You’ve arranged a surprise party for me?” The frustration in my voice is undeniable. My mind works full throttle to think of who he could have invited. I haven’t introduced him to anyone. On purpose. He’s not supposed to exist to anyone I know. I glare at Henrik with one eyebrow raised in what I imagine must look like complete puzzlement.

  I lost contact with my friends after Isac died because they couldn’t handle it, couldn’t handle me.

  You don’t exist in my world. This revenge isn’t supposed to include anyone on my side, only your family. This smirking idiot staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind is a toy for Cecilia and me. You’re a project. Nothing more. No one else is supposed to know about you, or worse, think I care about you. Or…worst of all, want to care about you because they think I do.

  Henrik gestures for me to come inside, but he hasn’t answered my question yet. Instead, he whispers. “I think we’re letting the cold in.” He takes my hand, but I can’t move. I don’t want anyone to meet Henrik.

  Holy shit, have you got in contact with people at work? Do you know what I do? No, you can’t have. Where would you get the information? We haven’t talked about it. I’m not registered anywhere due to security reasons. Who the hell is here?

  “I need an answer.” I keep my voice low in case anyone can hear me inside. “Have you arranged a surprise party for me?”

  He grins, clearly happy with himself. “Maybe.”

  But I’ve watched your every move. How could you have pulled this off? My mother and father can’t be here. They’re too far away. Getting Mom on a plane usually takes several months of planning, and you wouldn’t plan this after only having met me. My brothers? Are Niels and Glenn here?

  You’d never be this excited if it were only your own friends waiting.

  No. I can’t do this. If I don’t go inside, it’ll be like it never happened.

  “I have to use the bathroom.” I turn away from the pub to walk home.

  Henrik winks and points inside. “I chose a pub with a toilet.”

  My body is numb with fear. No, not numb. It’s getting ready to flee, to run home in a panic. But I can’t escape this. The force I need to make my body stay and not run away looking like a crazy person is such a battle that I’m shivering.

  I grab the doorframe to support myself and hide my internal struggle as best I can, placing one foot inside the bar. Henrik backs up ahead of me, just like he did with Katelyn.

  I wonder how many of these surprise parties he’s put together in his dating career, and if he’s paying for anything, or just collecting praise like he did last time.

  Did you get a new phone without me noticing? It would have popped up on your social media accounts, wouldn’t it? Unless you didn’t connect it yet.

  Behind the massive wooden bar is a bald man with a white beard in a black suit polishing a wine glass. I close my eyes. I don’t want to do this.

  Please let me wake up from this nightmare. You’re not supposed to meet anyone I know.

  To my left, whispers reveal a small gathering of people, and I know I have to face what will go down in history as the worst birthday in my life. People here must have talked to Henrik, so I can’t just run away and pretend he doesn’t exist. They’ll ask about him. Then again, turning to see them will only confirm that I am dating Henrik.

  I’m not dating you, not like that. Not because I’m interested.

  My jaw clenches. I realize I’m holding my breath as if my body wants to hoard the air in case I start to drown.

  I glance in the direction of the low voices when they scream at me, “Surprise!”

  26

  My parents, two brothers, and their wives cheer and clap their hands before bursting into song. “Happy birthday to you, happy...” I hold on to the back of a chair as tears fill my eyes.

  You fucking piece of shit.

  No! This can’t be happening. Mom doesn’t go anywhere without meticulous planning. You’ve ruined everything. This plan of mine wasn’t supposed to have any consequences. No one other than you were supposed to get hurt. Least of all my own family.

  My brothers, Niels and Glenn, sandwich me into a tight hug. “Thirty years old, huh?”

  I stare at them both in shock, unable to scramble any words together. My stunning brothers are dashing in matching blue suits, fresh new hairstyles, and fancy watches to match the sparkle in their eyes.

  My brothers’ gorgeous wives, Amanda and Olivia, are equally stunning in high heels, tight-fitting elegant dresses, and tassel earrings. What sets them apart is their hair. Amanda has long curly hair that reaches the top of her butt, while Olivia has highlights and perfect waves down to her shoulders. Neither has a hair out of place.

  “You don’t look a day over twenty-two,” Olivia says. Niels nods behind her as if it’s a compliment.

  To these women, aging is their worst nightmare. Even their children had rigorous skincare routines morning and night before they could walk. Olivia means well, despite her twisted view of the world, so I mimic her intensely cheerful voice and nudge my own up an octave. “Thank you.”

  My eldest brother, Glenn, nudges my shoulder and mumbles through the corner of his mouth. “Be nice. We haven’t had a night out in ages.”

  Amanda cuts in, turns to her husband with big puppy eyes and speaks in a baby voice. “I would love a surprise too.”

  I want to hit her.

  You’re not a child.

  Mom is making her way around the table. I try to move on with the obligatory conversation. “How are the twins?”

  “Great. They’re great.” Glenn looks off to the side, struggling to focus on the positive like he always has. “Yes. Such joy.”

  Amanda beams next to him. “They are. I’ll send you an invite so you can come see them.”

  Sure you will. Just like you were supposed to last year.

  According to her, I’m not happy enough to be around the children. If she knew why I’m with Henrik, she’d tell me I wasn’t sane enough, and she’d probably be right.

  Niels, my other brother, shakes his head. He’s watched me keep a brave face too many times to bother commenting. “Good to see you, sis. How are you holding up?”

  “Fine. You and the family?”

  “Great.”

  Then, as usual, our conversation stops. Establishing that we’re all great is like checking off a shopping list, and now we’re done. I love my brothers, but since they married, we’ve never been close. They both changed. Our close bond was severed b
y the sugarcoating about how perfect their lives were, which they started to lay on thick every second of every day and demanded I do too.

  Niels steps over to Glenn but gestures at me. “It’s your birthday, smile.” Then they move on to shaking hands with Henrik.

  I force a wide grin. “Happy birthday to me.”

  They both roll their eyes, then Glenn takes the lead with Amanda on his arm. “Just show some gratitude. We came here for you.”

  Bullshit. You came here to meet Henrik.

  Mom taps Niels and Glenn on their backs to get through. “Excuse me, boys.”

  They both bow theatrically and, as if dancing, slide off to the side to be with their wives, who love their moves.

  “Happy birthday, my darling.” Mom kisses my cheek.

  A flash goes off. My father beams from behind a cellphone, his mustache sticking up above his top lip like a broom. “Happy birthday,” he calls out.

  What the hell has Henrik done!

  “You came from Portugal?” Up until now, my mind has existed in a bubble, lulling itself into believing that I can date Henrik, and hide it. The familiar safe scent of my mother’s perfume makes my hands shake. “How…when did you plan this?”

  “Oh, only a few days ago. You should be proud of me.” She smiles and hugs me again. “I’ve missed you, my darling.”

  My brothers eavesdrop, as usual. They gesture to Henrik. “Your new guy set it up.”

  Henrik walks over to them, and their body language confirms that this isn’t the first time they have spoken, even if they haven’t met before. Mom, Dad, and I take a seat at the table by the window.

  “He took your father and me out for coffee yesterday,” Mom says as Henrik joins us, sitting next to me.

  You met with my mother behind my back?

  “H—How on earth did you find them?”

  In front of us lay two forks, a spoon, a small knife, and a big steak knife. My hands clench as I imagine shoving the ridges of its blade deep into Henrik’s throat. The room spins. It takes all the strength I have not to grab the knife and heave myself at him. Not only did he get my parents to come, but he met them behind my back. They weren’t even supposed to know he existed, let alone have contact with the asshole.

  “Remember I asked for their names?” He winks, and I recall with horror telling him. “Not too many Norwegians running bed and breakfasts in Portugal.”

  How the fuck am I going to get through this evening without alarming my family?

  “We’re thrilled to see our girl happy again.” My father snaps another photo before sitting next to Mom. “Are your friends joining us as well?”

  I evoke my cheerful voice from earlier and ask Henrik. “Have you invited more people?”

  Niels and Olivia sit on the opposite side of the table, and she laughs at this question. “I’m sorry to say it, honey, but you weren’t very cheerful there for a while.”

  Niels continues Olivia’s thought. “Besides, they were Isac’s friends to begin with, if we’re honest. It’s a lot to expect.”

  Henrik frowns at this. “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing,” I say before anyone else has a chance to respond. “They’re just being funny.”

  Please don’t reveal who Isac is or that he’s dead. Or how he died. If Henrik makes the connection, I’m busted.

  “My…” I take a deep breath. “My ex and my friends didn’t get along as well as I thought.” I turn to Henrik. “No one else is coming, right?”

  His hand spreads over my fist, interlacing his fingers into mine. With my family here, I can’t fight it. “No. I wanted you to have a memorable celebration since you hadn’t planned anything yourself. But I don’t know anyone else. Your mother suggested a Victoria, but she declined. Is she a good friend?”

  “No.”

  But she would know that this was a terrible idea and that it is not the time or place to meet for the first time in years.

  I jiggle my hand free from Henrik’s and stand. “You want something at the bar?”

  He shakes his head, and Niels asks him about work. I take advantage of the chance to escape and stagger over to a chair at the bar. I order a bottle of Cava and pretend I’m in a celebratory mood. It’s like the air in the room lacks oxygen, making it impossible for me to either breathe or think.

  Dad follows and sits down next to me. “Can you believe we got your mother here on such short notice?” He hugs me, and his chest moves with his laughter.

  “I’m so happy to see you.” I let go. “I’ve missed you both.”

  He clears his throat like he always does when he gets too emotional. “I had a long chat with Henrik, and he cares for you.” He winks at me as if this is good. “Don’t push him away.”

  Behind him, Henrik beams. Unlike the way he hid by the bar during the surprise party he threw for Katelyn, he’s now in the center of it all and grinning from ear to ear. I’m the one over here hiding instead.

  If you make a speech, I’ll smack you in the head with the bottle.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you.” I blame my strange behavior on shock.

  “We know you don’t like to be the center of attention. It’s reassuring to see you smile again, though.” His mustache lifts and bristles like it always does when he smiles.

  “I have to use the ladies’ room.” I make my way towards the toilet in the back.

  I’m so sorry you ever had to meet this man.

  My arm is heavy as I close the door behind me, stagger around to check that the stalls are all empty, and shut myself into the one furthest from the entrance. I collapse onto the seat. I want to throw up, but no matter how nauseated I am, my body hovers on the edge of vomiting as if in punishment for my actions. But there’s no release.

  I focus on the stall door painted black with words etched into it, revealing the wood underneath. The message from this unfortunate person is clear, and it hits home. ‘I’m writing this while my friend gets me new pants since I just shit mine.’

  Karma.

  I bury my face in my hands. Mom’s relieved expression flashes before me. Ever since Isac died, she has worried, but seeing her today, the worry is gone. How can I tell them to stay away from him? Tell them to go home?

  I’m stuck. I can’t talk to anyone here about what’s going on, and the immense feeling of panic has now turned into feeling like I’ll burst into such a deep cry that I won’t be able to pull myself out of it.

  I spent months preparing to end my life, distancing myself from them, and now that’s ruined. Why didn’t I listen to Cecilia and cut this off earlier? Then my parents wouldn’t know about Henrik. Just like some imbecile bank robber, I couldn’t stop while I was ahead, I had to keep going. She even told me straight out to stop and let him go.

  My thoughts spin like the sound of the garbage truck squeezing the contents of one trash can into another, pounding me over and over from the inside while I postpone the inevitable, going back to my surprise party.

  “Daniella?” Mom’s voice echoes against the tiled walls around me. “Are you all right?”

  I clear my throat. “Sure.” I get up and open the door. “I mean, yeah. Yes. I’m fine. Great.” I smile.

  “A bit too much for you with us here?” She studies my reaction to her words, and I strain to smile and explain myself.

  “Of course not. I’m thrilled to see you. I just wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”

  She wets a piece of paper and dabs it underneath my eyes. “I’m glad to see you found such a nice man.”

  I smile and nod.

  Henrik is an asshole, and he’s doing to you what he’s done to mothers of every woman he’s dated, fooled them into thinking he cares about their daughters. That he cares about their families. He’s a disgusting…

  “I guess.” I wash my hands and put one hand on her arm. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Oh, you should have come for Christmas. It wasn’t the same without you.” She pauses as if awaiting my response, but conti
nues when I don’t speak. “Promise you’ll come next year? You can bring Henrik.”

  “What did you talk about with him? When you and Dad met him?”

  “Not much. Henrik asked about your work, what you’re like, and what a perfect gift for your birthday would be.”

  “My work?”

  He tells me he wants to stay in an ignorant bubble but asks them about it?

  I lean on the wall to avoid falling over as blood rushes to my head. “What did you tell him?”

  We’ve been over this several times, and she knows not to share details, but if she thinks I love this guy, that it’s safe, she might have revealed too much.

  Mom places her hand on my cheek as if knowing my worries are carrying me away. “I told Henrik you work at a bank, that you are a great leader, and how proud I am of the work you do there. He assumed you worked with customer care. I didn’t correct him.”

  She doesn’t know I’m still on sick leave.

  I sigh. “Good.” Mom might be relieved to see me move on from Isac, but she’s not stupid. She does worry a lot, though, so I don’t tell her I haven’t worked in half a year. “Let’s join the others.” I hold the door open for her.

  She eyes me suspiciously. “When you want to talk, I’m here. You know that, right?”

  I won’t ruin this evening for her.

  I put on the bravest face I ever have and nod. “I know. Thanks. I’m fine, it’s just a bit much with all the attention.”

  The rest of the evening, I open presents, smile, laugh, and have no idea what’s going on because it takes all my strength to pretend to be happy. When the clock strikes eleven in the evening, Mom and Dad say goodbye, and I seize the opportunity to get home as well. My brothers and their wives snuck off just after I opened the gifts. They gave me a pepper grinder as tall as my waist, which turned out to be their joke of the evening for me not being married at thirty. I didn’t bother correcting them. No one mentioned Isac, and for that, I am grateful because I am not ready for questions from Henrik about my husband.

  I don’t notice Henrik until I find myself standing outside the bar with him ready to go home with me.