Last and Forever

by Brooke, Rebecca

  It was one of the main reasons I became a veterinarian and why I spent most of high school finding places for their band to play.

  I shook my head thinking about how crazy I made my own life. It hadn’t been until Aiden left that I really started to do things for me. Yet, there I was taking another overnight shift, something I never did, because Aiden brought in his sick dog.

  Would I ever learn?

  Probably not. No matter what, I would always care about Aiden. I ran my hand through the soft fur on Zeus’s side. He was adorable. Hopefully the blood work would provide some much needed answers. Until then we just had to treat the symptoms.

  My ringtone echoed through the room. I reached into my coat pocket and pulled it out to see Mitch’s name on the screen.

  “Dammit.” I debated sending the call straight to voicemail, but I knew I’d have to talk to him in the end. “Hello.”

  “Hey, Lex, I wasn’t sure where you wanted to go for dinner tonight.”

  “About that…”

  “Lex…don’t do this again.” The exasperation was clear in his tone. Mitch and I had known each other for years, but it had taken him almost a year to convince me to go on a date with him. I’d been so invested in building my practice, which I purchased around the same time I knew I’d be working long hours. Sure, the practice had clients, but they’d all trusted the original vet, Dr. Harris. My parents brought all of their animals here faithfully for years. When Dr. Harris agreed to sell me the practice, I didn’t want to let him or the people of the town down.

  When Mitch finally wore me down, I realized we had fun together. It had been a couple of months, but Mitch still didn’t understand my need to be at work late or on call. He worked in a field that when you went home, that was it. The end of the day. No working at home or going back later. I knew the minute he called that he’d try and talk me out of staying to watch over Zeus.

  “I wish I could say I didn’t have to, but an emergency came in right before we closed.”

  “I thought you stayed with the cat last night.” It made me cringe to hear him call by the type of animal they were instead of their name. They were someone’s pet.

  “I did stay with Snowflake last night, but I need to stay tonight too.”

  “What happened to no one staying for more than two nights in a row?”

  “The problem is I don’t know exactly what is wrong with Zeus. He had a seizure today with no history of them. I want to be here in case it happens again.”

  It was mostly the truth. For some reason I didn’t want to tell him whose dog I planned to stay with. It wasn’t any of his business. And maybe that should have told me more than I wanted to think about, but I enjoyed spending time with Mitch, something I didn’t want to let go of yet.

  “You always work yourself so hard.”

  “It’s not like I can walk away and hope the animals fend for themselves. How about I make it up to you?” I stood and walked down to my office. The computer on my desk already up and running.

  “And how would you do that?”

  “Dinner at my place tomorrow night? I’ll make Chicken Piccata.”

  “That does sound intriguing.”

  I moved the mouse over the bookmarks bar and clicked on the Veterinary Research Database. “Let’s say dinner at seven thirty then?”

  He sighed. “Okay. Just promise me you won’t work so hard. You spend so much time on your patients, sometimes you need to take time for yourself.”

  Leaning back in the chair, I rubbed my fingers over my eyes. “I know I do, but I can’t leave my patients when they need me. Tomorrow night we’ll be able to relax.”

  The silence told me he wanted to argue about it some more, but thankfully he decided to let it go. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow night then.”

  “See you tomorrow and thanks for being understanding.”

  We disconnected the call and I turned my attention back to the computer screen, ignoring the voice in my head that kept telling me he hadn’t exactly been understanding.

  I entered seizure into the search bar. No doubt the number of entries would be more than a couple. It would give me a place to start.

  Hours later, I refilled my coffee for the third time, still trying to find an answer to the problem. Zeus seemed to be settled and sleeping soundly. No other seizures since Aiden had brought him earlier.

  A yawn left my lips. I checked the clock to find that it was long after nine at night. Exhaustion from my late night had taken over. For a brief moment, I thought about heading home to sleep in my own bed, since he was stable. In the end I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

  I pushed back from the desk and made one last check in on Zeus before heading back to my office and lying down on the couch that sat on one side. I set an alarm on my phone to wake me up in a few hours to check on him again. Until then I’d do my best to get some sleep.

  The couch was more comfortable than the cot I’d purchased for overnights. I laid the blanket over me and let my eyes slide closed. Hopefully, I’d have more answers in the morning. I didn’t want to face Aiden without being able to tell him that his dog would be okay. I had a feeling he couldn’t take another loss. Not right now.

  And I’d do everything in my power to keep him from facing something like that again.

  6

  Aiden

  Loud, delighted squeals filled the kitchen as I placed some cereal on high chair tray for Chloe. Each small pile I placed in front of her made her dance in her chair as she reached for them. I’d learned after the first time I tried to give her the little puffs to only put a few in front of her, otherwise she’d try to shove the entire handful into her mouth at once.

  The entire scene made a good distraction from the waiting game I’d played with my phone before Chloe had gotten up that morning. I’d woken up every few hours to check my phone and make sure Lexi hadn’t sent any new messages about Zeus.

  The waiting killed me. At this point I just wanted to know. Was he going to be okay or not? I didn’t know how I would handle it if he wasn’t, but dealing with it had to be better than waiting.

  Oh really, said the small voice in the back of my head. How’s that working out for you so for?

  I knew there was truth to the words. Dealing with tragedy hadn’t been something I’d been very good at, but I promised myself the night before I would work on coping mechanisms. Chloe deserved it.

  I placed another few in front of her. She reached for them, shoving all three pieces into her mouth with a goofy grin. Sitting back, I picked up the mug of coffee and brought it to my lips.

  I took a sip and pursed my lips. Even after all this time, I couldn’t bring myself to fill the house with the scent of my favorite dark roast. The light roast would have to do. I missed the heavy flavor, at least until I tried to brew it, then I backed away quickly and usually dumped the pot before it even finished.

  It was the simple things that had been part of my life that I needed to take back.

  My phone chimed from the table next to me. The notification showed a text from Lexi. With trembling fingers, I reached for the phone and opened the message.

  Lexi: You can come pick up Zeus whenever you’re ready. He’s doing much better this morning. I think I know what happened.

  Needing to see him with my own eyes, I ran upstairs to grab a pair of sneakers and pack a bag for Chloe. It didn’t take me long to have her buckled into her seat with a few toys to play with.

  I jumped into the front seat and backed out of the drive while I was still buckling my seat belt.

  The pace of my heart increased the closer we got to Lexi’s offices. Even though I knew Lexi said he was okay, my stomach still fluttered with nerves at seeing it for myself.

  We still didn’t know what caused it. Lexi thought she had an idea. Was it something that could happen again? If it did, what was I supposed to do to stop it?

  By the time I pulled into the lot, my stomach was practically in my throat and each breath I t
ook was short and shallow.

  On weak legs, I climbed from the car and moved to the back seat to unbuckle Chloe from her seat. Barking sounds reached my ears as soon as I stepped through the door. To the left was a poodle who seemed even less happy than her owner to be sitting in the waiting room.

  I walked up to the counter. The woman behind the front desk greeted me immediately.

  “Mr. Cormack, Dr. Watson told me to bring you back as soon as you arrived.”

  She walked to the side of the desk and opened a door for us to step through. We followed her back through the halls. My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest.

  She opened a door on the right and gestured inside. “You can wait here. I’ll let Dr. Watson know you’re here.”

  “Thank you.”

  I hiked Chloe higher up on my hip and stepped into the room. The receptionist closed the door behind her. The room was similar to the one we were brought into the day before. This time, I couldn’t peel my eyes from the door on the other side of the room as I waited for Lexi to bring Zeus in.

  Only a few minutes had passed when the door opened and Lexi stood there with Zeus in her arms.

  The moment he saw us, his tail started wagging a million miles an hour as he squirmed to get out of Lexi’s arms.

  “Okay, hold still before you hurt yourself.”

  She crouched down and let Zeus run across the room to us. If I hadn’t had Chloe in my arms I would’ve picked him up and kissed his face all over. Instead, I settled for petting the top of his head.

  “You’re such a good boy. We missed you so much.”

  Chloe reached out to grab his fur. That was when I stood to keep Chloe’s fingers away from him. Zeus had already had a rough night. He didn’t need Chloe pulling his fur on top of it. I glanced over at Lexi and for the first time noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes.

  “Thank you for saving him.”

  Lexi shut the door behind her. “You’re welcome, but I didn’t save him. He did that all on his own.”

  “What do you mean?” Zeus danced in circles around my feet.

  She bent back down and scooped Zeus up off the floor and set him on the table. “From what I can see from his blood work, there’s nothing in it that specifically causes seizures.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Okay, but I don’t get why that would make you happy.”

  “’Cause it means it’s most likely something he ate. There are plenty poisonous mushrooms dogs are drawn to that can cause seizures.”

  “Poisonous?” I reached out to rest my hand on his back where he’d curled into a ball on the table.

  “Yes. The toxins in them can cause seizures, but the number of mushroom a dog would have to eat to die of them would be much more significant than the one or two probably consumed by Zeus.”

  “Is there anything else it could be?”

  She shrugged. “Chocolate, grapes, or celery. But I would put my money on the mushrooms. Zeus isn’t the first dog I’ve seen come in sick because of eating them. His size makes him a bit more susceptible to their effects.”

  “Oh, thank God. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to him.” I scooped him up into my free arm. “Is there anything else we need to do?”

  “Besides keeping an eye out for mushrooms growing in your backyard, I’d be willing to believe that he’ll be back to his old self in a few days.”

  Relief loosened the muscles in my back and shoulders. “Thanks, Lexi. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

  I reached for the door handle when Lexi called my name again. I spun around to see what she wanted. “Yeah?”

  “You know you don’t have to do it all alone. You know that you still have friends in this town, right?”

  I sighed, my shoulders dropping. “I know, but I don’t want to impose on anyone. My mess of a life is just that, my mess.”

  She walked around the table and laid a hand on my shoulder. “I can’t make you let me in, but just remember, we were friends once. You have my number if you ever want to talk.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.” I didn’t bother to turn around. I simply pulled open the door and made my way down the halls to the receptionist.

  She looked up at me. “I’m so glad to hear Zeus is doing better.”

  “Me too. What was the total?” Right now I wanted to get out of there. Lexi’s words hit a little too close to home.

  She smiled kindly at me. “No charge. Dr. Watson said it was her gift to you.”

  A lump formed in the back of my throat, stopping the argument I wanted to make. “Tell her I appreciate that.”

  I hightailed it out of the office, putting Zeus in the passenger side first, then moving around to the driver’s side to get Chloe buckled in tight.

  I sat behind the wheel and thought over Lexi’s words right before I left the room. It made my heart swell to think that people in town still cared about me, but I had a feeling people was actually a person, as in Lexi. I’d done nothing but alienate everyone since returning home.

  Keeping everyone at arm’s length meant I didn’t have to talk to them or hear their sympathy. It just pulled memories to the surface I tried to bury deep down below.

  Zeus drew my attention back to him in the seat next to me. He watched me, his tail still moving.

  “I know. I know. After staying here all night you want to get home back to your couch.” He barked once more and I put the car in gear trying to push the entire conversation with Lexi out of my head. There was nothing to talk about in the first place.

  When I got home, I got both Zeus and Chloe settled into the house. Chloe in her crib for a nap, and Zeus had found his favorite place on the couch. When I was sure both were asleep, I went out back to make sure I couldn’t find any of the mushrooms in the yard where Zeus played. Behind a tree near the back, there were a few mushrooms I removed and threw into the trash before heading back into the house.

  I dropped onto the couch next to Zeus, pushing my fingers through his fur, thankful to feel the deep, even breathing as he slept.

  My phone chimed and I picked up off the side table. I expected to see a message from my mom or dad about Zeus. I’d left a message for them last night about taking him to the vet yesterday. Mom had instantly offered to come over and stay with me. It wasn’t as if I was ten anymore. At some point, I had to face my own demons.

  But the message wasn’t from either of them. It was from Carla Davis.

  Carla: Hi Aiden. Jim and I are flying out for the week and we were hoping that we might be able to spend next weekend with Chloe. Give you a weekend to yourself.

  What was I supposed to do? Say no to Chloe’s grandparents who only got to see her every so often when they came out? I couldn’t, even if the idea of having an entire weekend to myself made my stomach churn.

  Me: Sure. I think she would love that. Let me know when you get in and I’ll pick you up at the airport.

  Carla: You don’t need to do that. We’re going to rent a car when we arrive on Tuesday. There’s a few places we want to visit first.

  Me: Okay. I’ll see you then.

  I dropped the phone onto the couch and laid my head against the back of it. Next weekend wouldn’t be something that I wouldn’t look forward to. An entire weekend home alone, with nothing to do but sit around with memories only the silence and sleep could bring.

  It would be the first time Chloe spent more than one night away from me and I had to wonder who would be more of a mess when the weekend was over, Christine’s parents when they brought her back to the house, or me.

  7

  Aiden

  With Chloe fast asleep in her crib, I wandered down to the living room. Just another night of loneliness on the couch, mindlessly watching TV in this hell I was currently living.

  Zeus was curled up next to me. His normal spot since Christine’s death. I ran my hand over the top of his head, more thankful than I could ever explain to still have him with me.

  Deep down
, I knew I couldn’t take another loss. Not now. Not when I still hadn’t healed from the last one.

  Time passed in terms of each episode I watched. When the fifth yawn left my lips I forced myself to shut off the TV and push off the couch.

  And in a routine that had become the norm in my house, I shut out the lights and wandered up to my bed, knowing it wouldn’t be more than a few hours before I found myself sleeping on the couch like most nights.

  I knew I shouldn’t even bother going up the stairs, but each night I hoped that it would be the one. The night I’d be able to stay in bed and sleep straight through. The night when I could sleep without dreaming about Christine.

  That night still hadn’t come. It didn’t stop me from dropping the sweatpants to the floor and climbing into my bed in just a pair of boxers. I reached up and flipped off the light on the table next to the bed. The moon casting shadows throughout the room as I tried to clear my head. I adjusted the pillow and curled my hands into the blankets, letting my eyes close, praying for sleep throughout the night.

  The door to the car opened and I stepped out onto a red carpet. Lights flashed at me from every direction. I reached into the car and held a hand out for Christine to take. With her hand in mine, I helped her from the car. Her smile was blinding as we walked down the carpet toward the entrance. We waved and stopped for pictures every so often.

  When I pulled the front door open and stepped inside, the flashes disappeared. But something wasn’t right. The barely concealed excitement that existed on the other side of the door had disappeared. Instead people walked around with their shoulders hunched and a somber look on their face

  Where am I?

  I turned and pushed through the door again, trying to see if maybe I’d gone into the wrong building. I stepped outside only to realize that the sun had disappeared and had been replaced by dark gray clouds with sheets of rain pounding down onto the pavement.