Last and Forever

by Brooke, Rebecca

  My heart splintered. “How long before you have to go?”

  “A few months maybe. I need to find a place, but I can’t wait much longer. It’s not fair to ask Kylee and Dylan to do all the work without me there.”

  A few months?

  That was no time. I stood from the bed, dislodging Aiden’s grip.

  “Lex, where are you going?” I could hear the panic in his voice.

  “I just need to think.” I grabbed my clothes from the floor, yanking on each piece as I found it.

  “Please don’t leave.” The anguish in his voice made the tears I’d held back over the last few minutes fall down my face.

  I stood, but kept my back to the bed. “I’ll be back, but I need to be alone right now.”

  Without another word, I walked out of Aiden’s room, down the stairs, and out of his house. When the car door shut behind me, I let the tears fall. Sobs shook my body as I backed out of the driveway. The streets were empty as I navigated through them, unsure where to go. I didn’t want to go home or back to Aiden’s, which left me driving around in circles trying to find answers. Tears slid down my face unchecked and creating a pool of moisture where they landed on my pants.

  By the time I pulled into the lot for the park, I’d run out of tears to cry. I stepped out of the car and wandered over to the bench where only a few weeks ago Aiden and I sat together watching Chloe.

  That night set all of this in motion. Aiden finally admitting that he shared my feelings, but it was also the night that could take him away before we really got the chance to get started.

  Darkness surrounded me. The only light coming from the stars as they appeared in the sky. I glanced up at them, wondering what secrets they held. Did they know what I should do?

  Moving wasn’t an option, which left me with only two choices. Let him go or do what we could to make long distance work. If he kept the house here, he could live here anytime they weren’t recording or traveling.

  I drew my knees up to my chest. He didn’t need to keep the house. He and Chloe could live with me whenever they were in town. But did I have the strength to be that far away most of the time?

  I ran my fingers over my ribs, seeing the words in my mind.

  Love will find you when the time is right.

  Was this the universe’s way of telling me the time wasn’t right? Or to hold onto that love with both hands?

  The sky had started to lighten by the time I climbed back into my car. I didn’t know if we could make it work, but it was the only choice I had if I wanted Aiden.

  I drove back to his house, which was still dark when I pulled into the driveway. I opened the door quietly, not wanting to wake Aiden or Chloe. As lightly as I could, I shut the door and turned to the stairs. Something to the right caught my eye. My heart leapt into my throat when I turned and saw a shadowy figure in the dark.

  My hand flew to my chest. His gray eyes gleamed from the sliver of lights starting to peek in the window. “Aiden, what are you doing down here?”

  “I thought you left.”

  I stepped farther into the room and flicked on one of the small lamps. His eyes were rimmed in red. I raced to his side and knelt at his feet, taking his face in my hands. The decision I made in the car solidifying. We’d find a way to make it work.

  “I told you I wouldn’t leave. I went for a drive to clear my head.”

  He wrapped his arms around me in a crushing embrace. “You’re not going to leave?”

  I ran my fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  We sat there for a while, holding each other. Aiden’s breathing slowly evened out and I thought he might have fallen asleep on my shoulder. Then he spoke.

  “How are we going to make this work?” He lifted his head and I moved to sit next to him.

  “That’s why I went for a drive. I needed to figure out how we were going to do this. And I can only think of one way.”

  He covered my hands with his. “And what’s that?”

  “I get you have to move. That you need to be near the studio, but I need to be here. My clinic is here.”

  “That doesn’t sound like a solution. It sounds like us being apart.”

  I sighed. The backs of my eyes burning. “Part of the time we’re going to have to be. While you’re recording or touring I think that’s our only option. But when you’re not on the road and have free time you and Chloe can come back here and live with me.”

  “You want me to live with you?”

  I tried to smile and convince him that this would work. “Then I’ll be able to spend all my time with you when you’re here.”

  “Do you really think that’ll work?”

  “It will.”

  It had to.

  32

  Aiden

  I fumbled the keys on my way to the elevator. It was weird not having a backyard full of fresh air to step out into every time I got home from work.

  Work.

  How that definition had changed over the last few months. The conversation with my dad about going back to music had gone better than I expected.

  I knocked on the office door.

  “Come,” Dad called through the wood.

  I opened the door and walked in, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

  He leaned back. “Aiden. What brings you here? You have a few more days off. Not to mention you never come to my office. I usually have to hunt you down in yours.”

  I leaned forward, resting my arms on my thighs. “That’s kind of what I came to talk to you about. I need to take off for longer.”

  “How long? Name it, it’s yours.”

  I knew my dad was so happy having me back, acting like myself, he didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that. Hopefully, he’d be just as happy about this.

  “Permanently.”

  He sat forward. “Permanently? Did you get a job somewhere else?”

  “You could say that. We played a single for LiteStar the other day and they want to produce another album.”

  “You talked to the band members?”

  “Well, everyone but Miles.” I told him what happened with Miles and Cerulean Dream.

  He stood and walked around the desk to stand in front of me. When he didn’t say anything, I glanced up to see him holding out a hand to me. I took it and was tugged up into his embrace.

  “I’m so proud of you. Of every step you’ve taken forward. And I can’t wait to see you on stage again.”

  I hugged him to me. “Thanks, Dad.”

  Mom hadn’t been as happy. While she’d been thrilled I’d be playing music again, she worried about how often she’d be able to see her grandbaby. Dad and I offered to buy her a house close to mine for her to fly back and forth to.

  I pushed the up button and the doors opened immediately. The key slid into the slot and I pushed the button for my floor. I needed to get out of there. Five months was enough.

  Whenever it was that I found a house. Living in a condo sucked. I wanted Zeus to have a place to run and a place for Chloe to play without having people trying to take their picture every time we stepped out on the street to walk down to the park.

  We’d been so busy in the studio recording, that I hadn’t had a lot of time to look for the perfect place. Our new keyboard player, Gavin, didn’t make life easy. He was good. Not as good as Heath or Miles, but the best of all the people we looked at. The guy had a chip on his shoulder a mile wide.

  If Dylan didn’t punch him one of these days, I’d be surprised. At some point I’d have to have a sit-down with the little shit and make it very clear what we expected. Unlike with Miles, we didn’t sign a long-term deal. We went with temporary status, which could lead to long-term if we liked him. At this rate the guy wouldn’t make it. Maybe then he’d stop complaining about every recording and I’d have time to find the perfect place to live.

  I wanted something that even Lexi would love when she was here. Not that it happened often. She
didn’t have many opportunities to clear her schedule and come down to visit. If she did it was usually for a short weekend. Chloe and I had gone up to stay with her a few times, but it just wasn’t the same.

  I missed her.

  I missed her company. Her smile, her laugh. I missed spending time with her, even if we only sat on the couch and watched a TV show together.

  The elevator doors opened and I stepped out onto my floor. I reached the door, unlocking it, and pushed it open.

  “I’m home.”

  “Mr. Cormack, how was the studio today?” Maureen, the nanny I hired, came around the corner with Chloe hot on her heels.

  “Dada.”

  “Hey, princess.” I scooped her up into my arms. “I missed you.”

  She tightened her arms around my neck. These days were long, but once we had music out in the world again, I’d have more time to be at home with her.

  “It was good. Exhausting but good. And please call me Aiden.”

  She nodded. “Aiden.”

  Although I knew tomorrow I’d tell her again. She seemed determined to call me Mr. Cormack. There were days I wanted to be a sarcastic ass and tell her that Mr. Cormack was in Westlake. But I usually bit my tongue.

  Those days seemed to line up when the time between seeing Lexi in person and over a video chat had gotten too long. Like now. It had been three weeks and I was going absolutely insane waiting for a chance to fly out to see her. There were still two weeks before I’d have enough time away from the studio to actually go.

  As much as I wanted to say fuck it and take a few days off, I was also trying to salvage the band. So I sucked it up and looked forward to Lexi’s calls. Usually long after she got home from the office.

  Even with video, they weren’t enough. I wanted to wake up with her in my arms and spend my nights buried in her body. I wanted to bring her to the studio so she could see us play. And take her to my favorite restaurants and bars. I wanted to be a real couple, but that didn’t seem like it would be anytime in the near future.

  A small part of me was starting to resent that. It was neither of our faults, just shitty timing. Or shitty luck, whatever you wanted to call it. Neither of us should have to give up our dreams, but to be together that would be a choice one of us would have to make.

  I kept telling myself that once this album released things would be different. That we’d have more time together. As more time passed I wasn’t sure I could make that happen.

  Maureen collected her things. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Same time?”

  I shook my head. “We have a later start tomorrow. Eleven should work.”

  “I’ll be here at eleven. Bye, Chloe.” She waved and Chloe waved back.

  I’d been worried about getting a nanny and ending up with someone Chloe didn’t like. Luckily that hadn’t been the case. I set the bag of take out on the counter and Zeus on the floor.

  “Hungry, princess?”

  She cheered and raced over to her chair. I lifted her in and started unloading the bags when my phone rang in my pocket.

  I dug it out and was surprised to see the name.

  Lex.

  I put the phone on speaker so I could hear her voice and could finish getting dinner out.

  “Hey, Lex. You’re calling early. I expected to see you on video later tonight.”

  “Yeah, about that. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make a video call tonight.”

  Chloe slammed her hands on the table. “Le Le. Le Le,” she called over and over. I lifted the phone so Chloe could hear Lexi.

  “Hey, princess, I miss you.”

  “Le Le. Miss you.”

  “Look at you learning new words.”

  I’d said it enough over the last few months, so I wasn’t surprised she’d picked it up.

  “So many new words.”

  “I want to be there to see it.” A longing filled her voice.

  I opened up the container of rice, which had become Chloe’s favorite ever since Lexi had brought it for dinner the one night. “Did something happen?”

  “You could say that. I had a few things to take care of today. And now I need to make a house call that could last late into the night.”

  My heart sank. The video was more of a connection than simply hearing her voice over the line. “I get it. I hope everything’s okay.”

  “Oh, I think he’ll be just fine when I get there.”

  There was a rap of knuckles on my door. I set the plate of rice on Chloe’s table. “Hold on, Lex. Someone’s at the door. Let me get rid of them and we can talk some more before your appointment.”

  I lowered the phone to my side and walked to the door, trying to figure out who was here. Either you had to have a key or your name had to be on the guest list with the receptionist who would let you on the elevator and send you up.

  In my haste to get back on the phone with Lexi, I flung the door open without looking through the peephole. I stopped dead in my tracks.

  Lexi stood at my door.

  Lexi.

  Lexi stood at my door.

  She lowered the phone from her ear. I reached out and tugged her to my chest. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t get free for a few more weeks.”

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you, too. That still doesn’t explain…what about your house call?”

  “You’re my house call.”

  “Then I think you were close to right. He’ll be perfect when you get there.” I let go of her and went to shut the door “How long can you stay?”

  “How does forever sound?”

  I stopped with one hand on the door and turned to look at her. The days of us being separated was starting to mess with my head. “What did you say?”

  She clasped her hands in front of her. “I said how about forever.”

  My mind couldn’t keep up with the conversation. “How can you stay forever? Don’t you have appointments booked?”

  She shook her head. “Not right now I don’t.”

  I stared at her blankly. “I don’t understand.”

  She walked forward and placed a hand on my chest. “I’m tired of us being apart. The more time that passes the crankier and more miserable I become.” It was like she’d read my mind. “Neither of us can keep living like this. So about two months ago I started searching for another vet to take some of the load off my shoulders.”

  I guided her into the apartment, but she stopped and stepped around me, grabbing a large suitcase from the hall, and rolled it inside.

  “Okay,” I said, taking the bag from her hands. “That still doesn’t equal forever.”

  She followed me farther into the condo. “Dr. Brewer is fantastic and we worked really well together. But after the last time you left I realized my heart wasn’t there anymore. You’d brought it back with you. That’s when I hired another doctor. I still own the practice, but they see all the patients and I can hop in anytime we’re in town.”

  I let go of the suitcase and dragged Lexi into my arms. “So me and you forever?”

  “For as long as you want me. I can try and find a job with a vet’s office in town.”

  I bent down and buried my face in her hair. “I’ll buy you your own office here if it means you’ll stay.”

  “I don’t care about that as long as you want me here.”

  I stood up and gazed into her eyes. “I’ve wanted you here from the moment I left.” I lowered my head to hers, capturing her lips and savoring the feel of them against mine.

  I missed the feel of her in my arms. But I didn’t have to miss her anymore because she stood here, in the circle of my embrace. When I pulled away, her face was flushed and the desire to carry her back to my bedroom…our bedroom, raced through me.

  I knew that would have to wait until later, after Chloe was in bed.

  I cupped her cheek and caressed her face with my fingers. “Are you sure you’re willing to give it all up to come and live here with me?”

&nb
sp; “Yes. I wasn’t really living at home. You see, you’re my forever.”

  “You and me forever.”

  “Exactly.”

  I wanted every moment of forever with Lexi and now we had it. I didn’t know which deity I had to thank for bringing her to me, but I’d thank them all. Deep down, on a level I couldn’t explain, I knew some way, somehow, Christine had something to do with Lexi showing up at my door tonight. She was still taking care of me. As I held Lexi, I sent up a silent thank you for happiness she’d delivered to me.

  Christine would be my first and always love, but Lexi was my last and forever.

  Epilogue

  Lexi

  Six months later

  “I can’t believe all this.”

  Aiden’s hand held mine tightly as we walked through the back halls of the arena.

  “Me neither. I honestly wondered if we’d ever make it back to places like this.”

  I walked ahead of him, making him come to a stop before he ran me over. “I always knew you’d be back. Even if it took time. No one wants a world where they can’t hear your voice.”

  He slid his arms around my back. “You know I’d sing for you anytime.”

  “I know, but I also realize I have to share you with the world.”

  “And you’re okay with that? Or at least being part of this word with me?”

  I sighed. “I know things are going to get crazy, but I think I’m ready for whatever they throw at me.”

  Things had already started to get crazy. It had been easy to hide our relationship from the press when we lived in two different cities, but once I moved in with Aiden and Chloe, we couldn’t keep it to ourselves anymore.

  The first time we took Chloe to the park down the street from the condo the photographers caught it on camera. I hadn’t even seen them. Aiden told me after the photos showed up on the Internet that they liked to hide and sneak pictures when you weren’t looking.

  It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but if that was what I had to put up with to keep Aiden in my life then it would be worth it. He’d even introduced me to Mari, the lead singer of Jaded Ivory. We talked a lot about how she and her fiancé Cole dealt with the press. Apparently, the lead singer faced much more scrutiny from them than the other members of the band. Which meant my life was about to become front page news for everyone to dissect as they saw fit.