The Retake

by Jen Calonita

  Clare Stelton wasn’t in Future City, but she played volleyball with our team last fall. I say our team, but Laura quit after two weeks. Still, she seemed to like Clare, and I did, too, even if she was kind of quiet.

  But if all three girls were running late, I had to figure out how to keep Laura away from the cabana so we didn’t ruin the surprise.

  “Zoeeee!” I saw Taryn frantically waving me over to her and her friend Avery, who were headed toward me with their drinks. “What are you doing walking around? Laura is here already!”

  My stomach dropped. “Where? The other girls are stuck at the drawbridge, and you know that takes forever!” I looked around, unsure what to do. “Do I hide? Yell ‘surprise’? I don’t want her to know about her party till everyone arrives.”

  Taryn slurped her slushie. It made that noise it makes when there’s still a ton of ice and you’re sad there is no more syrup. “I think she already knows about it. We just saw her wearing a birthday crown while playing manhunt. Does Mom know how many girls you actually invited? I hope Dad ordered enough pizza.”

  Taryn wasn’t making sense. “Only three people are coming and no one is here yet. You must have seen someone else. Laura’s friend isn’t dropping her off till five.” I looked at my watch. It was only four-thirty. I wish I knew who Laura’s friend was. I could have texted her to coordinate the surprise.

  “I’m telling you she’s already here.” Taryn turned me around. “Look! That’s her!”

  A group of girls I didn’t know ran by the row of bungalows we were in, oblivious to us standing there. My stomach lurched. Taryn was right: one of those girls was Laura, and she was wearing a birthday crown I hadn’t bought.

  Turned out Laura was already at the beach celebrating her birthday.

  She just hadn’t invited me to join her.

  “Are you sure you two are supposed to hang out today?” Taryn asked as we flattened ourselves against a cabana so Laura didn’t see us gawking. “Because if you ask me, it looks like someone else threw her a party.”

  We had plans today. Didn’t we? I tried to think back to the last time we’d actually spoken. It had been a few days. But we had texted yesterday and today, and both times I distinctly remembered reminding her about the cabana.” And both times she’d written back “K.” How could she have forgotten so quickly?

  I watched as Laura ducked behind a pool lifeguard cabana with the other girls to hide. The sound of her uncontrollable laughter felt like a punch to the gut. The truth was clear: Laura was having so much fun with her other friends that she didn’t want to leave them and come hang out with me.

  I knew I should turn away, but I couldn’t. I watched as the dark-haired girl next to Laura reached over and stole her birthday crown. I recognized her from Laura’s latest posts. Her name was Sarah Barden (or @sarahslitlife, as Laura always tagged her). They, and the other girls Laura was with, met during the middle school musical, and they’d also all done Annie together.

  Laura had wanted me to try out, too, but the thought of getting on a stage paralyzed me with fear. It didn’t help that Laura was always telling me how competitive everyone was, and the tears that followed if someone’s lines were cut. I didn’t want to deal with that stress. There seemed to be so much drama with the play that I secretly dubbed the girls “drama queens”—not that I’d ever tell Laura that. But now, seeing Sarah and Laura looking so happy together with the other girls made me wonder. Had skipping the musical been a mistake?

  My phone pinged and I looked down.

  Laura: Cabana tomorrow instead? Still out w/friends from Annie. Sry!

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Taryn said, reading over my shoulder. I quickly pulled my phone away and put it in my pocket, but it was too late. “She did ditch you! That’s so cold! Why wouldn’t she just invite you to hang out with her? They obviously threw her a birthday party too. Shouldn’t her so-called best friend be invited to it?”

  Avery shook her head. “That’s so wrong.”

  “I never liked that girl,” Taryn told Avery. “Laura always had to be in control of everything they did together. If Laura didn’t like the idea, they didn’t do it. Every time.”

  I tried to ignore Taryn, but it was hard to do when everything she said seemed right. Laura and I made these plans days ago. If her plans had changed, why hadn’t she just told me? Or invited me to hang with the others? I mean, sure, the party I spent all week planning would still be ruined, but at least I wouldn’t be standing here watching them with my heart in my throat.

  Why hadn’t I done the stupid school play?

  Why had my parents made me trudge across hot battlefields for three weeks when I could have been here with Laura? She wouldn’t be hanging out with Sarah and the drama queens if I had been here the whole time.

  “Look at her feed!” Taryn said, nudging me to see the images on her phone. “She’s been with these girls all day. Haven’t you looked at your Insta?”

  “No.” I felt foolish as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I was busy getting ready for the party.”

  I knew I should swipe Instagram off my screen, but instead my finger hovered over Laura’s stories. Don’t click, Zoe. Don’t click!

  I clicked.

  Laura’s story told me she’d been at the cabanas all day. There she was with the drama queens doing handstands at the beach! Playing volleyball! Having an ice cream taste test at the snack shack!

  I heard the girls’ laughter again, and my stomach churned. “Let’s just go, okay? Before she sees us.” I hurried away, hoping my flip-flops didn’t make too much noise.

  “Zoe…,” Taryn started.

  “I want to go,” I said louder than I intended.

  “Zoe?” Mom came around the corner, saw me, and frowned. “I thought I just saw Laura. Did you already surprise her?”

  “Laura ditched her,” Taryn blurted out. “She just texted she can’t hang because she’s already here with other girls who threw her a party. And they didn’t invite Zoe.”

  “Enough, Taryn!” I barked.

  Mom looked at me worriedly. “Oh, honey, don’t get upset.”

  “I’m not upset,” I said, but my voice suddenly sounded shaky, and all their staring made me feel worse.

  “Are you sure Laura knew you were getting together today? Because sometimes you say you tell me something and…”

  I wanted to bury myself in the sand. I will not cry. I am going to cry. I’m crying. I wiped the tears on the back of my arm, getting sunscreen in my eyes. Ouch, ouch, ouch!

  “I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.” Mom’s soothing voice only made me want to cry harder. “Let me call Dianne.”

  “No! Don’t call her mom!” I didn’t want Laura finding out I’d been here planning a lame party when she was already at one with girls she clearly liked more than me.

  “There you are!”

  As if things couldn’t get any worse, Dianne was walking toward us, with cupcakes and balloons. Laura’s seven-year-old twin sisters, Petra and Paige, trailed behind her. “Where’s Laura? Did we miss the surprise? I tried calling, but no one answered their phones.” She took one look at my face and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  Mom gave me a quick glance and took the cupcakes from Dianne. “These look great! Walk with me a second?”

  “Mom, please don’t,” I begged, but it was too late.

  They started walking toward our cabana, and I knew Mom was telling her everything. Dianne looked back at me, then at my mom again. She clutched her chest, and my cheeks burned. My best friend’s mom felt sorry for me, and that made me feel worse. I watched Dianne storm off.

  “I just want to go home,” I told Taryn.

  “But aren’t your other friends on their way?” Avery asked.

  “I’ll text them not to come.” I stopped when I heard Laura laughi
ng again. When I looked up, she and Sarah were making faces as Laura snapped a picture. Seconds later I got an alert on my phone. So did Taryn. I clicked on the update, and there was a post.

  lauraslitlife: Come find us! @sarahslitlife #bestbeachdayEVER #manhunt #nickersoncabanas

  “First she breaks plans with you, and then she has the nerve to post about her other plans?” Taryn ranted. “Not cool.”

  “And look.” Avery pointed to the post on Taryn’s phone. “They have the same Insta handles—lit life. ‘Best beach day ever’? It’s not even eighty degrees.”

  “Ridiculous,” Taryn agreed.

  “They’re in there! Get them!” I heard Jake shout and remembered he was part of the manhunt too. There were more loud shrieks and laughter as the drama queens came tumbling out of the lifeguard shack and ran in different directions. Sarah grabbed Laura’s hand, and they started running. Unfortunately, they were headed straight right for us.

  There was nowhere to hide. Laura saw me at the same time her mom saw her.

  “Zoe!” Laura said in surprise, stopping short.

  “Laura!” Dianne marched across the sand, kicking it up as she walked. “I need to talk to you immediately.”

  Laura dropped Sarah’s hand. “Mom? Zoe?” She blinked hard. “I— Zoe, I didn’t know you were already here.” She talked fast.

  “It’s okay.” I twisted my rope bracelet around absentmindedly. Laura and I always got new ones every Memorial Day weekend and wore them all summer till the white turned gray and the rope fit to our wrists. I noticed Laura no longer had hers on.

  “No, it’s not,” Taryn mumbled.

  Laura pushed her blond hair behind her ears like she did when she was nervous. “You see, my friends from Annie threw me a party. I would have invited you, but…”

  “You didn’t,” Taryn chirped.

  “Zoe has a surprise for you too,” Dianne said before I could even reply. She was smiling, but I could tell from her eerily calm voice she was mad. This was exactly how she sounded when we drank her last seltzer and she claimed she wasn’t upset, but Laura and I both knew she was. “That’s why I texted you twice—twice—today, reminding you to be here at five to meet Zoe. I asked your father to bring you, but he had plans, so you said you’d get a ride. You promised you’d meet me here. Promised.”

  I winced. Dianne was only making things more awkward. The drama queens were all crowding around to listen.

  Laura rushed forward. “Mom, I am here. Okay? I’m sorry.” She looked at me, her cheeks flushing. “I didn’t know you had a surprise for me, Zo-Zo. If I had, I wouldn’t have canceled plans.”

  “You canceled on her?” Her mom sounded shrill.

  My face grew hotter. I glanced quickly at her friends, feeling embarrassed. “It’s okay. I can show you later,” I said at the same time Dianne said, “All of you come with me to the cabana right now.”

  None of us was about to argue. We followed Dianne down the concrete walkway in a single file. My heart was pounding hard. I couldn’t help thinking they’d all find my Oscar decorations babyish.

  “Who is she?” I heard one of the drama queens whisper.

  “I think it’s her friend Zelena.”

  It’s Zoe. I wondered if I could still cut and run.

  “It might be Zara. Or is it Zoe?” asked Ava Sinclair, who I knew from school was their group’s unofficial leader. Ava had to know who I was. It wasn’t like my best friend wouldn’t mention me at least once all summer. Right?

  “Surprise!” Mom shouted as we arrived.

  “Surprise!” yelled Laura’s little sisters.

  “Happy birthday to YOUUUU!” sang my dad off-key as he came around the corner carrying a stack of pizzas. I definitely wanted to bail now.

  Someone read my banner out loud: “ ‘Happy twelfth birthday, Oscar winner Laura Lancaster!’ ”

  I cringed. My whole party felt silly now that the drama queens were standing here. “Reagan, Jada, and Clare are on their way, but the drawbridge is up….” I closed my eyes and wished harder than I’ve ever wished for anything to just disappear.

  “Oh.” Laura shifted uncomfortably and looked at Sarah. Dianne cleared her throat. “This is really nice, Zoe. I—”

  But what could she say? This party is lame? I’ve found new friends? We don’t even hang out anymore? I didn’t want to hear it. I just wanted to leave as much as she did.

  “Let’s get a picture of all of you together!” Dianne suggested.

  She grabbed my hand and Laura’s and stood us side by side. The others crowded around awkwardly. Laura and I didn’t look at each other. This was not the picture I had envisioned posting on Instagram.

  Dianne held up her phone. “Say happy birthday!”

  “Happy birthday,” everyone said, but there was no heart in it.

  Taryn and Avery looked at me as the flash went off and I had a feeling they were thinking the same thing I was.

  Laura’s summer wasn’t just starting, like mine was. She’d already had a full one.

  Without me.

  lauraslitlife: Fairview—Lets do this! We’re ready! #firstdayofschool #firstdaybestday

  I stared at Laura’s latest Instagram post. She and all the drama queens were standing in front of Bagel Boss holding tie-dyed bagels that matched their skirts.

  I wasn’t sure what surprised me more—their coordinating skirts (which Laura did a whole Insta story on, along with a story on # firstdayblowouts) or the fact that she got up early to get a bagel before the first day of school.

  Laura hated alarm clocks! She was late for an appointment to get her braces off!

  Who prolongs getting their braces off?

  Or posts four times a day?

  Not that I was stalking her feed or anything.

  Or pining for Laura. If anything, I tried very hard not to think about Laura and the Birthday Party Disaster. Or my ex–best friend. It was obvious. I had clearly been demoted from BFF.

  I waited for Laura to apologize about what happened. To explain to me that there was some huge misunderstanding that she couldn’t tell me about in front of her mom. Instead, she’d basically disappeared from my existence.

  I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong. One minute Laura and I had been crying and hugging right before I left for vacation, and the next she was ghosting me. My finger hovered over my messages. The last reply from Laura was more than a week ago, and we’d talked only because I’d sent her a text. She hadn’t texted me since then. Despite everything I still really missed her. That settled it. I’d send her a short text and see what happened.

  Me: First day! Good luck!

  I saw the text bubbles pop up right away, and my heart began to soar. Maybe she missed me too.

  Laura:

  Not “Let’s meet at our lockers before first period so we don’t get lost.”

  Not “What are you wearing today?”

  Not “Where do you want to meet for lunch?”

  Not “I think we have three periods together, including math.” (I only knew that because I overheard Mom talking to Dianne on the phone.)

  Not “I miss you.”

  Just some happy-face emojis.

  It was official: We weren’t just ex–best friends. We didn’t seem to be friends anymore at all. I felt the bile rising in my throat. Was I going to throw up? I couldn’t. This was the only outfit I liked, and I only liked it because the girl at the mall said I looked cute in it.

  “MOM! I can’t find my round brush! Have you seen it?” Taryn shouted.

  “It’s wherever you left it last, Taryn,” Mom called back.

  I hated when Mom said that. If Taryn knew where her brush was, why would she ask?

  Taryn had done the whole middle school thing already and survived. She’d even managed to navigate high school without any tears.
What is her secret? I wondered. I peeked out into the hallway and stared at Taryn. She looked effortless standing at the top of the stairs in green jeans and a black tee she had knotted to one side. If anyone could help me survive day one, it was Taryn.

  “Mom! I don’t remember where I left it! That’s why I’m asking you!”

  “It didn’t walk away, Taryn. Look harder.”

  “But the bus is coming in ten minutes and my hair is frizzing! Remember the bus? That smelly yellow thing Zoe and I have to take now that you’re teaching again full-time?”

  Taryn’s light brown hair looked perfect to me. It was even curled at the ends like it had been professionally blown out. “Taryn?” I said hesitantly. “You can use my brush. It’s in the top drawer.”

  Taryn eyed me skeptically and reached for my round brush. “Thanks. You wearing that to school?”

  I looked down at my navy-blue tee and white jeans self-consciously, hoping there wasn’t a mud stain on my pants. I was so nervous about school I’d gotten up early to work on a Future City project. Ms. Pepper, our Future City advisor, had posted on our club board last night that we might want to start thinking about clean water. So this morning I tried making a dirty-water filter using two-liter soda bottles, some mud, and water, and things had gotten a bit out of hand. The muddy water I’d used for the filter had dripped all over the carpet, and I’d tried to clean it up before Mom popped in my room and saw.