The Retake

by Jen Calonita

  Finally, I spotted Laura walking toward me. She wasn’t smiling.

  “Hey! Are you all right?” I asked, rushing over.

  “No.” Laura looked like she might cry. “We said we’d meet by the girls’ bathroom on the second floor and walk to lunch together. You never showed up!”

  Uh-oh. “I’m so sorry. I forgot.”

  “I felt so stupid. Sarah came by with Marisol, and they both said hi to me and asked if I was going to try out for the play, and I didn’t know what to say to them.” Laura pulled at her ponytail. “I couldn’t understand why they were suddenly being so nice. And you weren’t there.”

  “I’m really sorry. Let’s eat,” I suggested. “We can talk more then.” We really needed to talk.

  “I’m not hungry.” Laura spied the crowded cafeteria anxiously. “I don’t want to go in there.”

  This did not sound like Laura at all. What had I done to us? This conversation couldn’t wait another moment. “I think you should try out for the play,” I blurted out.

  Laura looked at me strangely. “What? No. We talked about this.”

  “I know, but I think you should do it. You’re good. And you like it! Don’t not do it because I’m not.”

  Laura shuffled her feet anxiously. I could swear I saw her glance at the drama queens’ table. “But the girls…”

  “Maybe they’ll be nicer to you now,” I said. “And who cares if they’re not? You deserve to be up there just like they do.”

  “But we made a pact,” Laura said, twirling her hair around her finger as she grew more anxious. “Together or not at all. Remember? I’m not going back on that. You’re my best friend for a reason. We’ve always been honest with each other.”

  Time to rip the Band-Aid off. “That isn’t exactly true.”

  “What do you mean?” Laura asked.

  “I lied to you,” I said, louder than I intended. “Sarah, Ava, and the others never said you weren’t a good actor or that they wanted to make a fool of you. And they weren’t going to hide Annie auditions from you. I made it up because I didn’t want you doing the musical and forgetting about me.” Laura looked stunned. The cafeteria grew quiet. “I didn’t want to lose our friendship.” I reached out for her hand. “Laura, I’m so sorry.”

  Wow, it felt good getting that off my chest.

  Laura yanked her hand away. “Don’t talk to me!” she shouted, and I heard Dougie go “Ooh!” as she turned and ran down the hall.

  “Laura!” I finally caught up to her when we were at the stairs leading to the basement. “Let me explain!” I hurried alongside her. “It all started when I was looking at pictures of us from last year. Like this one. Look!” I pulled the phone out of my bag again, feeling it burn my fingers. I tried to show her my screensaver—the two of us standing in front of our cabana. “Look!” I shoved the phone in front of her.

  “I don’t want to look at your phone!” Laura’s hand came flying up and swiped mine, knocking the phone out of my hands.

  The two of us watched in horror as the phone hit a step with a thunderous bang, then bounced several steps before it landed faceup. Even from where I was standing, I could see that the screen was cracked.

  “NO!” I cried, rushing down the steps to grab it. I picked it up. The phone was glitching. For a split second I saw Retake open and land on the picture of Laura and me from this morning, on my front lawn. Then the screen went dark, and the phone died in my hands. When I looked up, Laura was gone.

  Never have a fight in front of everyone in front of the cafeteria.

  I learned that lesson the hard way.

  By sixth period everyone knew Laura and I had had a fight, but no one seemed to know why, since neither of us was talking. Clare and I didn’t have afternoon classes together, and Jada and Reagan were nice enough not to ask, but by seventh period, Dougie was giving people the scoop, having apparently followed us out of the cafeteria. He didn’t know why we were yelling, but he did see Laura supposedly throw my phone down the stairs, where it broke.

  By eighth period I overheard someone say we were fighting over Jake Graser. Then the girl behind that person said we were fighting because I posted an unflattering picture of Laura online. I would have told both those haters that neither story was true, but then I’d have to say what really happened: that I’d used an app to somehow redo moments from the past to save our friendship.

  And every time I tried to go back and make things better between us, I only made things worse. That my phone was now broken, trapping me in a reality that was somehow worse than the one I started with. Sure, Laura and I weren’t BFFs in my old reality, but at least she didn’t seem to hate me. The way things were now, there was no chance of her being my Christiane Larken, like my mom had. We were worse than broken. We were done.

  And now my phone was destroyed too, holding me hostage in this reality forever.

  Hold it together, Zoe, I told myself, but when the bell rang at the end of school, and someone came over the loudspeaker reminding people about tryouts, meetings, and not to forget bus passes, I realized I had a bigger problem: I had no way home.

  There was no way I was going to show up for a ride from Dianne after what I’d done.

  And when I searched my bag, there was no bus pass. Added problem: No phone meant no way to call Mom to tell her I’d be walking home. I had no choice but to go back to the dreaded main office and ask to use their phone.

  The halls were just as crowded after school as they were during and I worried about running into Laura. She would probably stick around till after club period ended—Dianne had practically insisted on it—so there was a good chance I’d see her, and I didn’t know if that was good or bad. When I passed a sign for the drama club, I saw Ava and Hyacinth reading the flyer.

  “Meeting about the play is in room 228,” I heard Ava say. I hoped Laura would be there.

  “How’s your phone?” Dougie yelled when I passed him and a pack of boys.

  I needed air. I ducked into one of the girls’ bathrooms and found Laura’s friend Sarah standing at the sink. She saw me in the mirror.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  Seeing her gave me an idea. I’d hurt Laura with my lies, and we weren’t speaking, but maybe I could still help her get to auditions with Sarah’s help.

  “Sarah?” She looked at me as she applied lip gloss. “I’m Laura’s friend Zoe.” Her eyes widened with recognition. “Or maybe I’m her former friend. After today I’m not sure.” She didn’t say anything. “Anyway, I have a favor to ask.”

  “Of me?” she questioned.

  Was this the first time we’d spoken other than that time at Laura’s sleepover? I thought it was, but I couldn’t be sure. All my realities were starting to blur. “Yes.” I stepped closer to the sink she was at. “I was hoping you could talk to Laura for me.”

  “Oh.” She dropped her lip gloss back into her bag and started to back away. “I don’t get involved in other people’s drama. Besides, I haven’t spoken to her in forever.”

  “That’s kind of what our fight was about,” I said. “You see, after the sixth-grade play, I kind of told her you and your friends didn’t like her.” I could feel my face begin to warm.

  Sarah pursed her lips. “Why would you say that?” she asked, sounding hurt. “It’s not true. We couldn’t understand why she suddenly ghosted us.”

  “I’m sorry. I thought you guys were taking her away from me, but the truth is, we were already growing apart. Now Laura is miserable, and I am too. She liked hanging out with you guys, and she should. Just like she should go to the drama club meeting.”

  “She’s really good,” Sarah agreed. “I kept telling her she should audition for a lead this year.”

  That made me feel worse. “She’s not even going to the club meeting. At least, she wasn’t planning on i
t this morning, but I know she’s still here. She’s probably at her locker. Do you think you could tell her to go with you? I know she’d listen.”

  Sarah seemed to think about it. “Okay,” she said, and headed for the door.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Laura would go to the meeting. Maybe she’d sit with the drama queens and they’d all be friends again before the week was out. They could bond over what a terrible person I was. But at least I wouldn’t mess up Laura’s life like I’d messed up mine. “Oh, and Sarah?” She turned around again. “Don’t tell her I asked you to do this. I wouldn’t want her to change her mind and not go.”

  Sarah half smiled. “I won’t. Thanks, Zoe.”

  So she did know my name.

  By the time I left the bathroom, the halls had cleared. I looked to my right and saw Sarah talking to Laura, so I waited where I was till I saw the two of them disappear around a corner together. Whatever she had said worked. Thanks, Sarah. My stomach unclenched just slightly.

  Next I made my way to the main office, which was still crowded. Walkie-talkies were being used to radio back and forth from the buses to the staff while secretaries took calls from parents who were either late to pickup or calling in a ride. No one noticed me standing at the main counter. Finally, a woman holding two phone receivers looked over.

  “Can I use the phone?” I asked.

  She waved her hand in the general direction of a phone on the counter. “Dial nine to get out.”

  “Thanks.” The last time I’d been in here, I’d lost my phone. Wait. That gave me an idea. “Sorry. Excuse me! Hi! Sorry!” I waved my arms wildly to get the secretary’s attention again, and when that didn’t work, I pulled myself up partway onto the counter. “Do you know someone named Marge? She was working here yesterday?” Well, at least in the real world she had been. “I mean, today? Red hair? Dresses like it’s 1955?” My heart swelled with hope as the woman seemed to think about this.

  “Nope.” She went back to the phone, picking up a new call. “Hello, Fairview Middle School. May I ask who is calling?”

  I let myself drop back down to the ground. Marge was gone. My phone was dead. My life was ruined, and it was all my fault. My hands were shaking as I dialed my mom’s number. She picked up on the first ring, probably because the caller ID said the middle school. “Mom? I’m fine—” I started to say.

  “You should be at a club meeting!” Mom yelled. “Go! Go now! I don’t care what kind of fight you had with Laura. You need to do something, Zoe. Get out there.”

  I held the receiver tighter. “You know about my fight with Laura?”

  “You don’t have to walk, but I can’t get you till at least four,” Mom continued, either not hearing me or not wanting to. “And why aren’t you calling me from your own phone? You didn’t break it, did you?”

  “See you at four!” I said, and hung up fast.

  Through the office windows, I could see the buses pulling away. The ringing phones started to die down, but that secretary was still staring at me. I guess she was wondering what I was still doing there. Finally, I walked out of the office and looked around. The halls were practically deserted. Did I try to find Ms. Pepper? I had no idea when Future City was starting again. I didn’t even know what the other clubs were or what rooms they were in since I hadn’t paid attention to the announcements. All I knew was I needed to avoid the drama department.

  “Zoe! Hey!” Reagan came running down the hall, her backpack over one shoulder and a volleyball in her free hand. Jada was right behind her. “Are you coming to volleyball tryouts? They added another day because there are still some slots open. You should come!”

  “Reagan, take a breath,” Jada said, and gave me a look. “Hey. Are you all right? We heard what happened.”

  “Maybe heard,” Reagan clarified. “Because I can’t picture you ever pulling Laura’s hair and screaming at her for posting a bad picture of you.”

  “I didn’t do that, but we did have a fight,” I admitted. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jada said. “But if you need a boost, you should go read the positivity wall in the girls’ bathroom. It’s amazing.” She hesitated. “Or you could just talk to us. I know we’re not close,” she said awkwardly, “but we are your friends.”

  Why had it taken me so long to realize that? These girls were my friends. I might not have had Laura, but Reagan and Jada had my back. “Thanks.” I looked at my book bag instead of their faces. “It’s complicated, but basically, it was my fault. I lied to Laura about something important, and she got mad.” I attempted to smile and blink back tears. “But no one pulled anyone’s hair. Do people even do that anymore?”

  “On reality shows, yes,” Reagan said knowingly.

  “Especially Thunder Shores,” Jada added.

  “I love Thunder Shores.” On the rare occasion Taryn watched TV with me, we always watched that because neither of us could ever believe what happened was real.

  “That time Tabitha took Sasha’s bikini and wore it to the juice bar without asking?” Reagan continues. “Major hair pulling in the vacation rental ensued.”

  “You didn’t fight over her favorite bikini, did you?” Jada asked.

  “No. Bikinis are sacred. I don’t even own one. I think Laura does, though, and I’d never wear someone’s bikini. That’s kind of gross.”

  “Agreed,” they both said.

  Jada threw her arm around me, and one of her numerous beaded bracelets got tangled in my hair. “I’ve missed you! We never see you anymore since you quit volleyball and Future City. Clare said we have to get you back in the club.”

  I perked up. “Clare is on Future City now?” This was new!

  “Yeah,” Reagan said, looking at me strangely. “She joined last year when you were on it. She’s team captain this year, and she’s playing volleyball too. We see her all the time.”

  “That’s amazing!” I said. “I wish I was still in the club.”

  “You can rejoin,” Jada said. “And you can still make day two of volleyball tryouts. Come now!”

  I hesitated. “I haven’t practiced in months.” Probably. If I’d quit, that had to be the case, and with the way my luck was going…“I probably wouldn’t make the team at this point anyway.”

  “You won’t with that attitude,” Reagan said. “You still have today to wow them. What are you doing right now?”

  “Absolutely nothing.” I had an hour till Mom picked me up and zero people to hang out with. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. Even though I’d obviously dropped Reagan and Jada because Laura had, they were still being as nice to me as they always were. We weren’t best friends, but we were friends. I had been so distracted by Laura, that I hadn’t bothered to see what was right under my nose the whole time. My eyes started to well up again.

  “Hey.” Reagan threw an arm around me now, and Jada sandwiched me on the other side. “No tears. You will make the team.”

  “That’s not what I was—”

  “Repeat after me!” Reagan sounded like a drill sergeant. Together, we made our way down the hallway. “I will make the team!”

  “I will make the team!” I said as we turned down the hall toward the gym. I could hear balls bouncing in the gym and people talking.

  “Louder!”

  I was starting to laugh, which seemed almost impossible considering how I’d felt just moments before. “I will make the team!”

  “One more time with feeling!”

  “I will make the team!” I shouted, and Reagan and Jada burst into applause.

  “That’s the spirit!” Reagan opened the gym door and motioned for me to go first.

  “Heads-up!” someone shouted, but it was too late.

  I took a volleyball to the face and hit the floor.

  From far away I heard yelling and arguin
g.

  “Zoe? Geez, is she okay? Zoe! Can you hear me?”

  “What are you guys doing in here? You don’t even play volleyball!”

  “The gym was empty and the balls were there, so…”

  “Dougie! You could have killed her.”

  “A lacrosse ball could have killed her. A volleyball will just cause a mild concussion. I think.”

  “A concussion? Someone needs to call her mom!”

  “Find her phone. Check the bag! It’s right there on the floor.”

  I heard rustling. “Found it! Hey. The phone is broken, and— Yowza, why is it so warm?”

  “I heard Laura threw it at her head and it slammed into the wall.”

  “Dougie! Not true! Give me your phone.”

  “Use your own phone!”

  I heard moaning. It took me a moment to realize it was coming from me.

  “She’s waking up. Zoe, hang on. We’re calling your mom.”

  I sat up slowly. The room was sort of hazy before it slowly came into focus. There was a crowd of people around me.

  “Hey.” Clare’s face appeared in front of me. “Welcome back. How do you feel?”

  My hand went to my head. “Like I have a headache.”

  “Blame Dougie for throwing the ball!”

  “Shut it, Jake.”

  “Should someone see if the nurse is still there?” Jake asked. “Zoe? Think you can stand up?”

  “Yes.” I tried to move on my own and stumbled. Everything around me was coming in and out of focus, like I was about to zip away, and yet I kept getting caught right where I was.

  “I’ll help you.” Jake gave me an arm, and I leaned into him.

  “You’re nice. I see why Laura likes you.”

  “Laura likes him?” Dougie repeated. “Why is she always giving him looks to kill?”

  “Zoe.” Jada’s voice was a warning. “Stop talking.”

  “Because I made her think you liked someone else,” I said, my words slurring slightly. “I’m a liar. A big fat liar who tried to keep doing retakes to change things, and it didn’t work.” Jake looked at me like I had three eyes.