How To Train Your Kaiju

by Nicholas Knight

  “Pretty much.”

  Before she could answer, I heard another voice in the background. A woman’s voice. No accent. She was muffled so I couldn’t really understand what was being said, but she was arguing with Mom. Her tone was unmistakable. This wasn’t someone talking to an employer, or even an equal. Whoever this woman was, she spoke to Mom as if her mind was deteriorating along with her body. Like she was a child.

  “I’m talking to my son,” Mom had said.

  “It’s not time for phone calls right now, Miss Emma,” said the voice, the clearest and most sickly-sweet I’d heard it. My hand gripped the phone so tight it made my fingers hurt. How dare this woman talk to my mother that way.

  “No, you don’t understand, it’s—” Mom’s words are cut off, suddenly made into background noise and it’s not hard to imagine her phone being taken from her. Then the call was cut off.

  I can’t say that I quit caring about Dr. Warden’s weirdness after that. I do care. It does bother me. But no one talks to my mother that way. She’s dying, and it’s her body that’s going not her mind. I will not have anyone disrespecting her that way.

  And there’s only one way I can think of to change her situation.

  Whatever care Dad’s money is buying for her isn’t enough. A quarter of a million dollars will go a long way toward correcting things. Half a million might be enough to completely set them right. For the last few days I’ve ignored everything. No classes. No phone calls. I would have liked to have made a second date with Isabella, I really would have, but I don’t call. I can’t afford the distraction. Whatever time my mother has left is going to be as amazing as I can make it and no one and nothing is going to take that away from her. If she has to die she will do so in comfort and with dignity and God help anyone who tries to stop me.

  I call the number Dr. Warden gave me and was informed by his tech support crew that the mission would take place on a scheduled date a week away. And that I couldn’t have my friends’ help to complete it. That puts a bad taste in my mouth but there’s nothing I can do about it. I need the money. I agree.

  The day of the “special mission” rolls around and the sky opens up, unleashing a massive thunderstorm over Ole Miss. There’s no way I’m going to get to play from the roof and have to wait for Brett to leave the dorm room before I can start up the game. I don’t think I’ve ever been so impatient for someone to leave before.

  On the bright side, the Kaiju Wars Online app appears when I press my hand to the side of his television. No need for a smartphone this time. Ten minutes after he leaves, I am on mission.

  The target is a military base outside of a small town. Not even a proper city. It’s more heavily defended than anything I’ve encountered. And none of it does my enemies any good.

  I lure the military away from the base itself, demolishing the town, crushing any tanks or soldiers that get too close. Keeping up a barrage of debris to keep the bombers at bay. Soon there’s nothing left but the base itself. Only the heavy concentration of enemy forces there kept me at bay. Now, what remains isn’t nearly enough to stop me. The oncoming green fire doesn’t even phase me.

  I smash through the remaining defenses, ignoring a few more as I set about demolishing the base. There’s more to it than I suspected. The top is quickly ruined but there’s more. The facility goes deep, deep underground. I’m going to have to dig it all up to make sure that it’s completely destroyed. I’m not missing out on the remaining quarter mil because of a technicality. This base is going to be destroyed if it’s the last thing I do.

  Something strikes Taisaur from the side, a concentrated beam of rippling, transparent energy that barely shrinks his health bar. I pull away from the partially destroyed base to find Halira charging out of the smoldering ruins of the town. Of course, Lusitania would try to PK me right now.

  There’s no time to finish off the base. It’s too deep. Any attention I divert from Halira’s incoming attack will cost me. Fortunately, I learned from our last encounter.

  Taisaur bellows as Halira charges us, accompanying my own shout. Bitch, you picked the wrong day to fuck with me!

  Halira shrieks back, but it’s Lusitania’s surprised voice I hear. Aaron?

  And then our kaiju crash into each other.

  HALIRA

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

  The collision sends a shockwave through the earth, rattling loose the few remaining buildings from their foundation and wrecking more of the underground compound behind Taisaur. Halira and Taisaur are both fast and have a ton of mass behind them, the result is so much force that the surroundings simply can’t handle it. Both kaiju lose footing as the ground trembles beneath them and the impact devolves into a grappling brawl.

  Halira’s sword-like claws caught Taisaur on their initial swing, laying open several long wounds that spray blood. Their length is also their weakness at this range. Before Lusitania can bring Halira’s claws back into a useable range, Taisaur’s caught her by the wrists and is holding them at bay.

  Taisaur’s wounds are impressive but he can take them. His HP bar hovers at just above the halfway mark. Our counter attack, which saw his horns momentarily impaling Halira through the chest, has done an equally impressive amount of damage. The wounds are more internal and while not as great, Halira is far more brittle than Taisaur. Her HP bar has likewise dropped to nearly the halfway point. Dammit. I’d hoped for more.

  The pair are far from stationary. I throw Taisaur’s head forward, hoping to catch Halira again with his horns. Halira’s too quick though and she yanks her head back on that serpentine neck, dodging the attack before lunging forward. Her fang filled beak clamps down on the space between Taisaur’s neck and shoulder. A twist and Taisaur’s shoulder spike is driven into Halira’s body. It’s a glancing blow, carving out a piece of crystalline armor and digging a furrow through her dull orange core, failing to sink home.

  Halira leaps from the ground and kicks into Taisaur’s chest. I haven’t paid attention to the claws on her feet and in hindsight I should have. They’re huge. Like velociraptor talons, only as if someone forgot to limit her to only the one massive toe-claw. Those claws sink into Taisaur’s chest, only to be ripped free an instant later as I bring Taisaur’s tail whipping around. My counter attack catches Halira right in the side and she goes flying, trailing Taisaur’s blood behind her like the tail of a comet.

  She hits the ground hard. HP down to a quarter. Taisaur’s not any better. In fact, I think I’ve come off the worse from this exchange. Halira’s raw attack power is absurd.

  Over Halira’s shrieks I can hear Lusitania’s insults. Maggot-dicked mother fucking toad-suck dipshit! I’m going to rip off your tiny testicles and wear them as earrings, and everyone will have to look under a microscope to see them!

  I lower Taisaur’s head and charge. I’m too far gone to fury to take advantage of a ranged attack even if I had one. It’s not Lusitania’s presence that’s got me so roaring mad. It’s the fact that she’s here. This fake, psychotic, overprivileged nutjob is here, in my game, attacking my kaiju, and preventing me from getting my mother the proper care and treatment she deserves. My rage meter is bursting with energy, literally crackling as Taisaur roars and the distance between he and Halira vanishes.

  It’s not a roar of communication, just raw, unbridled fury. I’ve never felt this in the game before. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever felt, real, genuine anger inside the game before. No, it was always some kind of artificial release. This is real. I don’t just want to hurt Halira. I want to hurt the person behind Halira.

  Fast as Taisaur is, Lusitania’s kaiju is even faster. She’s on her feet before Taisaur reaches her and barely manages to leap aside at the last minute. Taisaur’s tail sweeps around for a follow up strike and she dodges this too, if only barely.

  Bitch, you think that’s going to work twice? There’
s laughter in her voice. I hurl Taisaur at her, trying to impale her on any one of his numerous spikes, but she’s out of reach before the attack connects and darting away.

  My world shrinks down to her and I give chase. Nothing matters but destroying Halira. I can taste her salt and blood on my tongue. Feel her brittle, mineral body cracking and crumbling in my claws. I’ve just got to catch her. It’s the only thing that matters.

  Except that it’s not.

  Taisaur slows and I blink, the rest of the world coming back into focus. Halira is so fast she’s already exponentially increased the distance between us. A part of me recognizes that there’s some strategy at play here. I don’t know what it is. I do know that I can’t let myself play Lusitania’s game. I can’t. Not in real life and not in Kaiju Wars. I’ll lose.

  And as much as I want to crush her, I have a real objective. Beating Halira might net me a good amount of experience points. It might even be emotionally satisfying. It won’t see Mom taken care of. Even if I somehow catch Halira, if that base isn’t destroyed, I lose.

  Pulling Taisaur away from the chase is maybe the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m reminded of Gary the guard, pinning me to the wall while Kermit screamed at me. I remember what he said to me then. I remember the obnoxious way he called me “kid.” I don’t have Gary to hold me back now and redirecting Taisaur feels like I’m pushing against his massive bulk.

  Impossible.

  I think of Mom. Think of what I can do for her with this money. And then it happens. Gradually at first, and then all at once.

  Taisaur spins around and sprints back toward the military base, leaving Halira to run in the opposite direction. I reach my target and resume my assault, smashing down into the tunnel. It’s bigger even than Taisaur. What on earth is this thing for?

  Halira’s desiccation beam strikes Taisaur right in the bloody chest. His HP bar shrinks accordingly. Don’t you ignore me you brain dead troglodyte!

  I don’t stop my assault on the base. Believe it or not, Lusitania, the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you!

  She and Halira shriek and launch themselves at me. An alert pops up. LEVEL UP.

  I whirl around to meet them head on and scream with Taisaur. At our unified bellow, Taisaur’s stripes burst with crimson light. My kaiju is enveloped in energy, like an all red aroura borealis.

  Halira crashes into him and both are driven to the ground. Only this time it’s not Taisaur’s HP that drops. It’s his rage meter. And it’s not missing a chunk, it’s steadily burning up.

  Halira’s HP on the other hand has dropped. Two of her enormous claws are shattered.

  Whatever this energy Taisaur is putting off, it not only shielded him from her attack, it did some damage back. I grin, brimming with raw triumph. My kaiju doesn’t blast his foes with energy, he envelops himself in it. It’s a forcefield, one that hurts other kaiju who strike it.

  An idea occurs to me and I push the offense. Taisaur’s spiked tail, red energy rippling about it like bloody fire, swings around and catches the still staggering Halira squarely in the body, spikes sinking home.

  The crystalline kaiju is sent tumbling, trailing blood and red energy from its wounds. Her HP is flashing, the bar all but empty. She tries to get up, staggers, and falls. Lusitania is shrieking, swearing, none of it makes any sense. I don’t care. I’ve won.

  Taisaur’s rage meter flashes empty and the rippling red lights around him vanish. His stripes go back to silver. That’s a shame. It would have been better if we could have held that a few more moments. I feel like I’ve won, my objective is complete and Lusitania is mad with anger. But even at that sliver of HP she’s got remaining she’s dangerous.

  I approach her cautiously, planning to deliver the coup de grace with my tail, attacking from as far away as possible. No need to get fancy and screw this up. Taisaur’s HP is low enough that if she gets off one good attack it would probably be enough to finish us off.

  The ground beneath us trembles and shudders. It’s like when Halira and Taisaur first clashed but stronger. Bigger. The effects more prominent. Taisaur actually loses his balance and takes a knee. I have just a moment to wonder what the hell could be causing an earthquake this bad when I get my answer.

  It tears free of the crater of the base I’ve left behind, slithering higher and higher up into the air. It’s a kaiju, and bigger than any I’ve seen so far.

  The newcomer doesn’t resemble anything so much as a cobra. The body is segmented in black, glossy armor that makes me think of Halira. Only this is clearly clean cut and artificial. Halira’s crystals are almost haphazard and the blades sprouting from each segment of this things immense body are plainly there by design. As it moves, they rattle, slicing over each other like scissors. This kaiju is less like a snake and more like a living chainsaw.

  Its body is almost as thick around as Taisaur and its head is easily as big as my kaiju’s torso. It’s raised up high in the air, arching over us, flaring a bladed hood. Even if Taisaur had been standing upright, its head would still have been above him, and the rest of this thing’s body hasn’t even come out from the ruined base yet.

  The new kaiju opens its mouth impossibly wide and bellows out a challenge.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎⁎

  There’s something about the newcomer that bothers me. For all its size it could be just another PKer. Another kaiju popping up isn’t really all that unusual. Still, this one makes me uneasy.

  My rage meter is slowly rebuilding. I don’t think it’s high enough yet for me to spend expend it in any meaningful way though. Maybe that’s why this giant snake has something in my gut unsettled. I know I’m vulnerable.

  I should feel angry about this. It’s my default. I don’t. The game’s therapeutic mechanics are actually working against me. I’ve been doing nothing but burning through anger for however long I’ve been at this now. More so since Lusitania’s arrival. It leaves me feeling weak and afraid.

  Which is ridiculous. This is a game. There’s no part of me that should be afraid. And yet Taisaur’s ears quiver and he shifts uneasily. Reflecting my emotions? I don’t know.

  What the fuck do you want? Lusitania demands through Halira’s shriek. Neither of us are focused on each other anymore. With her that’s probably a mistake. Halira’s fast and lethal enough that a moment of distraction is all it would take Lusitania to dispatch Taisaur. And yet I’m distracted by the newcomer, who doesn’t respond.

  What, is your mic not working shit-dick? she asks. You compensating for with that giant dildo? Got your mouth full?

  I realize what’s different about this kaiju all at once. I’ve gotten so used to seeing kaiju and this alien military as distinct and separate. Players are kaiju, NPCs are the military, that the absence of a name or HP bar hadn’t even registered.

  This kaiju isn’t another player. It’s some kind of level boss. Shit, hadn’t the AI mentioned something about this world having its own monsters back when I started? Looks like we’ve just found one.

  I throw Taisaur to the side as the snake kaiju strikes. Its body produces a cacophony of clinks as the blades lining it come together and part. The noise barely registers. If I hadn’t moved when I had Taisaur would be dead. This kaiju hits fast.

  The ground where I’d been standing is now a cloud, dirt and debris thrown up high into the air from the force of the impact, which shakes the earth. This thing hits like a bomb. I can only imagine how much it weighs or how much strike-force it can deliver. I know more about engines than animals, but I know cobras are supposed to strike faster than just about anything on the planet. Whether or not this thing is venomous is a moot point compared to that. Force equals mass times acceleration. Acceleration and mass this thing has in abundance. I can’t even see all of its body yet and it’s bigger than Taisaur and Halira put together.

  Lustina’s litany of profanity rin
gs out, letting me know she dodged the hit. Fragile as Halira is I’m not sure she could have taken that blow even if she’d been at full health. Halira is a pale blur, darting around the cloud and striking at the cobra-kaiju’s body. When those massive claws of hers make contact, there’s a sound like pots clanging together and a shower of sparks. A pair of deep gouges are left in one of the cobra’s armored segments and green ichor oozes out of them.

  Halira attacks like a cavalry soldier, zooming by and using her momentum to deliver a devastating slash and pulling away before a return strike can be delivered. Already she’s circling around for another pass.

  Are you as fucking stupid as you look? Lusitania screams at me. Fight back, dumbass!

  The cobra’s tail rips free of the earth, easily three times the length of Halira, and in a shower of dirt, tears through the air toward her. Only the white kaiju’s speed saves it. She tears off her charge at the last instant and the ground trembles again when the snake’s tail lands where Halira had been a moment ago.

  This exposes the cuts Halira had just made. Armored as this thing is, I know an opening when it’s presented to me. I lower Taisaur’s head and charge, aiming for the opening. If I can get his horns through there I might be able to deal some critical damage. Maybe even paralyze the thing and turning all that mass into deadweight. It would be easy for Halira to decapitate the thing after that.

  And then what? We go back to trying to finish each other off? Maybe. Probably. I can’t say why I trust Lusitania to stay on my side against this thing. There’s no reason to believe it. She’s a PKer. Her kaiju’s entire build is designed around sniping other players.

  And yet there is something fundamentally wrong about this kaiju. Something that makes my spine tingle and calls to that basest of survival instinct inside of me. The one that exists inside all humans. When push comes to shove, when humans are faced with an outside threat, we ban together to defeat it. That’s been our single greatest strength over the millennia. It’s why we’re the dominant species on the planet.