No Kitten Around

by R. J. Blain

  I dislodged Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds from my head, relocated her to my shoulder, and strolled towards the pair.

  When I’d last seen Luna, she’d been white perfection with barred feathers, the splash of blue and gold, and her voice the only things separating her from her brethren. Gray stained her skin, a faint marring I might not have noticed had I not just seen my grandfather.

  Luna turned to me. “So, you did decide to attend.” After Samantha glowering at me, I barely noticed—or cared—about the angel’s scrutiny. “I question why I wasted so much money on you and that sword.”

  “Well, I see we’re beyond being civil today. Lucavier,” I greeted, keeping an eye on the falling angel. “I see you’re keeping strange company.”

  “I find myself intrigued over how she’s grown to dislike you so much. Why would a mere human offend an angel? She could wipe you from this Earth without much effort.”

  “I’ve heard the story. She’d spent a fortune so she could equip me with a blade capable of waking her greed and appeasing her sense of guilt for killing a human.” I shrugged, which stirred the ire of my cantankerous cat, who hissed at the mismatched pair. “While that seems foolish to me, lying to me was just stupid, Luna.”

  Both angel and devil jerked at my accusation.

  “She lied to you?” Lucavier’s eagerness confirmed Samantha’s suspicions—and her belief I’d have to fight an angel and a devil in short succession.

  “You’ve lied to me, too, but I don’t hold that against you. I don’t hold it against her, either.” My forgiveness wouldn’t change anything for the pair, but it eased something within me. “I’m sure you both had your reasons. Of course, one of you is a devil, so you don’t need much of a reason to lie to someone, as long as it serves your interests. Isn’t that right, Mr. Buioni?”

  I needed to have a long talk with both of my angelic grandparents, scolding them both for their influence on my life.

  “I didn’t lie to you.”

  Lie. The gray staining Luna’s skin darkened, and Lucavier’s gaze flicked to her. A smarter devil wouldn’t have smiled; his expression spoke more truths about him than I cared to think about. One by one, the cards Samantha believed would be played were laid out on the table, guiding the game to the same place: death.

  “I’d just like to know why you trusted a devil with anything. He’s a devil. You’re an angel. Did you really think he would honestly ally himself with you? He wanted your downfall.”

  “You think too highly of yourself, human,” Luna spat.

  “No, I think that you tried to hire me an inferior instructor so you could have an easier time trying to kill me. I mean, I never had a great opinion about angels in the first place, but you’re the worst of the lot. I’d rather hang out with the headless wonder over there and figure out how to share a beer with the jerk than deal with your meddling. Which, I’d like to remind you, you continued to do after we bargained you wouldn’t. You’re here, and you’re here because you wanted to work with your ally here. Am I wrong?”

  Luna grunted.

  “She promised to stop meddling in your affairs?” Glee lit Lucavier’s eyes. The scent of brimstone assaulted my nose. “She’s been meddling in your affairs since you left Mississippi. Even now, she’s meddling in your affairs. She’s here because you’re here.”

  “I’d argue that isn’t meddling. That’s stalking,” I countered. “I can assure you, angels are talented stalkers. When they aren’t popping in whenever they want, they’re listening in on your every thought. I’ve had a trio of them ghosting me since I was released from prison.”

  “For a crime you didn’t even commit.” Lucavier chuckled. “If you’d told the truth, you wouldn’t have seen any prison time.”

  “I told the truth. I told nothing but the truth. I just didn’t tell the complete truth. But my imprisonment served your cause well, didn’t it, Mr. Buioni?”

  “A lot of things serve my cause. Your imprisonment did nothing for my goals.”

  Lie.

  “As long as you didn’t have anything to do with that filth, I really don’t care.”

  “Why would I have anything to do with the affairs of some uncouth human? That’s nonsense. I had nothing to do with the likes of him.”

  Lie.

  Knowledge changed everything, and while my sword had been named Redemption for more than one reason, I wondered if the blade would mind being used for a second cause: justice. It wouldn’t change his victims’ suffering, it wouldn’t change what I’d endured, but I’d sleep a little easier, assuming I survived, after ensuring Lucavier’s machinations wouldn’t hurt someone else.

  Luna’s death would be a tragedy.

  Lucavier’s death would be justice.

  If I had to work to redeem myself for the rest of my life after, I’d be content with that. My sword would be a reminder of everything that had happened, all leading to a moment in a crowded museum where an angel, a devil, and a mere mortal clashed.

  Luna turned to Lucavier, and while dark stains still marred the angel’s flesh, her feathers remained white, blue, and gold, as though she clung to the divinity she’d lost, concentrated in each feather. “You lie. You were involved. You’re the reason those women were raped.”

  “I knew it was a possibility. I merely suggested he might find his type of woman in the area, that’s all.”

  Somewhere amid the truths Lucavier told, he also lied. I considered his words. “You were certain he’d act, and you’re hiding behind the slim possibility he wouldn’t to pretend like you’re not lying when you are. You were hoping something would happen so I’d become involved with angels, which played to your plan. Am I correct?”

  “Nonsense.”

  Lie.

  “You lie,” Luna hissed, and she held out her marred hand. A crackling, gray blade manifested in her hand, longer and broader than mine, and she held it as though it weighed nothing.

  Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds hissed, dug her claws into my shoulder, and spat curses at the angel.

  “Silence!” she boomed.

  Only the mad would attack a cat, but Luna went for Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds, sword lifted high. I released her leash and drew Redemption in the time it took me to suck in a breath. Our swords crossed. Her blade crackled. Mine chimed with the strong, clarion call of a struck bell. She hit softer than Samantha, and I held my ground, wondering why the angel had held back.

  Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds swatted a paw at our crossed blades, her claws unsheathed. Her paw struck the angel’s sword.

  The sword shattered.

  My blade swept down and sliced into Luna’s shoulder near where her neck would’ve been if she’d had one. Black blood sprayed. She screamed, her voice piercing through my skull. My body moved as Samantha had beaten into me; the follow-through carved a deep line across her chest, the tip of Redemption digging across her breastbone.

  “Fall!” Lucavier crowed. Like Luna, he conjured a sword of his own, and his swallowed the light and created a black cloud obscuring my view of him. The devil cackled and lunged towards me.

  I hopped back, but he went for his true target: Luna.

  A better man—or an angel—would’ve ignored the devil’s back, the target Samantha had promised no sane being would ever present to anyone with even a smidgeon of elf in his blood. The devil who sought the angel’s fall attacked her when she couldn’t defend herself.

  A better man would’ve hesitated, but I wasn’t that man.

  I tossed Redemption so I could reverse my grip on the hilt, wrapped my left hand around the diamond sphere of its pommel, and drove it through Lucavier’s back. The tip slid through with little resistance until it hit the devil’s chest. The bone cracked, and Redemption continued its lethal journey until its hilt collided with the devil’s spine. Golden light flashed from beneath my left hand and washed over my victim.

  Luna’s scream cut off.

  Lucavier went limp and his body slumped to the floor, and Luna fell with
him. Their bodies twitched, their life bleeding out of them. In what I’d always consider a freak accident, a hole the match of Lucavier’s bore through Luna’s chest.

  Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds jumped off my shoulder, hissed and clawed at the devil’s face. From my position, I couldn’t see his expression, but the way my cat tore at him, he wouldn’t have much of an expression left when she was finished. I cursed and reached for her leash.

  A black seed the shape and size of an almond rose from the back of the devil’s head, and tendrils of smoke spread from it like roots seeking a place to take root. Cold dread cramped my chest, and the sense of being watched settled over my shoulders.

  “I am, I was, and I always will be Kimaris,” a deep voice thundered through my head, triggering a skull-splitting headache. “I am he who forges warriors in my likeness as you have been forged. You think you have killed me, but I will never die. None of us ever truly die.”

  Shit. I’d known devils had names although most knew of Satan and his many names. While unfamiliar with Kimaris, I recognized when I faced bad news. I remembered Samantha warning about the seeds of life angels and devils possessed, but she’d neglected to warn me they were sentient—and capable of speaking their opinions.

  Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds eyed the dark seed.

  I snatched for her leash to stop her from playing with it. Like she did at night when hunting anything that moved, my cat pounced and swallowed her prey.

  Horror froze me in place, leaving Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds free to resume slashing the deceased devil’s face with her claws, adding to the blood spilling onto the floor.

  While in life, Luna’s fall had left her gray, her seed of life glowed with a golden light. As though afraid it would be devoured by my cat, too, it flitted away, leaving streamers of white and gold in its wake. The excited yips of a puppy gave me enough warning to jolt me out of my shock and dive for the dog’s leash.

  I slipped, hit the floor with a yelp, and missed the leash.

  Puppy, Savior of Worlds seemed to enjoy his snack of angel, then he washed my face with his tongue, his entire body swaying in his excitement.

  My cat and Kennedy’s dog eating the seeds of an angel and devil hadn’t been a part of the plan. When honest with myself, there hadn’t been much of a plan to begin with. I groaned rolled onto my back, and lurched upright. Streams of golden light coiled around Redemption’s blade, and the blood that fell into its radiance shimmered and transitioned from black to the bright crimson of human blood.

  I felt a lot how the crowd around me sounded: shocked into silence. My grandfather’s laughter chimed in my head. “Had you planned on quenching your blade in the heart of a devil and an angel at the same time?”

  “I had a plan? If I had a plan, I would’ve made sure both pets were securely leashed before executing it.”

  For someone lacking a head, my grandfather had mastered glaring. “Yes, you were supposed to make a plan.”

  I grunted at his disapproval, got to my knees, and used Lucavier’s suit to clean Redemption’s edge. The body crumbled away beneath the sword’s golden glow. Luna’s body followed, deteriorating to ash. Even their blood dissolved into wisps of pale smoke. “Well, that simplifies cleanup.”

  “You’re handling this a lot better than I thought you would.”

  “He attacked her while she was defenseless. Only seemed fair I repay him the favor.” Unless asked, I wouldn’t mention the truth I’d learned about Lucavier’s plotting, leading to the day I’d killed another man. “I hadn’t meant to hit Luna.”

  “She was already dying. Consider it a mercy. That devil would’ve taken his time finishing her, and that would’ve haunted you far worse than a quick end. No, it’s better this way. Not how I would’ve done it, but it’s better this way.”

  “Why is everyone so quiet?” I glanced at the crowd, which still stared as though frozen in time.

  “We’re in the space between seconds. For us, time has stopped. For them, we will seem to have moved in the blink of an eye. It won’t last long. It is her doing mostly.” My grandfather pointed at Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds. “The puppy played an equal part, but his role is easier. How aptly they were named, although it’s not worlds they both destroy and save. It’s always a delight to live in a time where myths become reality.”

  “Myths? What myths?” I eyed my cat, who continued to express her opinion about Lucavier through the use of her claws on his abandoned suit. “I think I’ve had enough myths for one lifetime.”

  “Learning you are a myth is hard on a soul, but I think yours is robust enough to endure it. As for your beasts, you aptly named them.”

  “I only named Kitten,” I protested.

  “Still. They’re aptly named. I’m surprised they weren’t born at the same time. That’s usually how it goes. But perhaps strange times call for stranger measures.”

  “Cryptic angelic nonsense is inappropriate for this situation. Spit it out, please. Without dancing around the subject.”

  “It’s hard to explain how one being can split and become two beings for a lifetime and ultimately become one being again. Your beasts are not individuals. They are halves of a whole, always connected. And she usually eats her own tail rather than seeds of life, but I suppose the eclectic relationship of a cat and a dog sharing living space might count as equal chasing of tails. But I suppose this works best. You didn’t inherit the seeds of life, so you can live out the rest of your days as normal of a human as you can get rather than forever touched by powers you’d be unable to control. And they? They won’t notice a thing. That is who they are.”

  “Who are they?”

  “Which version would you like? They’re Egyptian. They’re Greek. They’re even Norse. There’s a little bit of the whole world in them, but that makes sense. That is what they are. You might call them special pieces of the Universe, if you will.”

  “That’s still cryptic,” I complained.

  “Ouroboros. The World-Serpent. The unification of Ra-Osiris. She’s even more complex that, but view her as the encompassing of all things in this world and a promise of the eternal cycle. Even the End of Days is the beginning of a new world. Consider her a caretaker of the balance. Dumah fell, but Kimaris fell with her as well. Their seeds will be returned to their rightful places, and they will be born again.”

  Dumah? I was afraid to ask, so I didn’t. When I asked about identities, I found I disliked the answer. “Kimaris spoke to me as a seed. Does that make me crazy?”

  “No. Being unforgivably elven is what makes you crazy. He said something that bothers you. What did he tell you? Perhaps I can lay that to rest.”

  “He told me his name, and he told me he forged warriors in his likeness as I had been forged. Then he said none of us ever truly die.”

  “It is the way of devils to speak the truth while planting the seeds of a lie, but he’s not entirely wrong. You were forged. In part by him, in part by Dumah, in part by me, in part by your grandmother—in part by a lot of people. But no matter how many people took part in your forging, everything of importance was made by your hand. And as for the seed of a lie amongst his truths, he’s correct. None of us ever truly die, but when the seeds of our life are replanted, we are not who we once were, even among angels and devils. We change—or the Universe changes us. So in that regard, we can only live one life.”

  A headache developed behind my eyes, and I wasn’t sure if my grandfather, the fight, or stress were responsible. “So they’ll be all right?”

  “I suppose it isn’t cheating to tell you how history has repeated itself. Your life is tied with that human woman’s, and their lives are bounded to yours. When you and she perish, they will reclaim your life seeds and return them to the Universe. Consider it their gratitude for what you have suffered to bring you to this moment where you kept things in balance. While an accident in your eyes, you did it exactly right. And that is why it takes a mortal man to do an angel’s work. I could never stab a devil in
the back. That’s not our way.”

  “Any other pearls of wisdom?”

  “Don’t be alarmed should you dream of two dragons devouring their own tails while entwined. It’s their nature, and like it or not, you’re part of them now. Enjoy the rest of your evening. We’ll see you at your wedding, invited or not. If you don’t invite us, you’ll get to watch that elf snap, and it will bring much entertainment to your festivities. I highly recommend it.” My grandfather vanished in a flash of silver light.

  I stared where he’d been standing before turning my attention to my cat. Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds paused in her mutilation of Lucavier’s clothes, looked me in the eyes, and winked.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  One Year Later

  * * *

  According to elven tradition, I spent the week before my wedding revisiting life training with my sword. Redemption’s typical golden glow had taken on a gray hue, which I’d learned to associate with its annoyance. I understood annoyance. I wanted to take Redemption and shove it up Samantha’s ass.

  Unfortunately for me, Samantha wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and she’d assigned two elves to keep me contained in some damned mountains in North Carolina while she ‘prepared poor Kennedy’ for a lifetime of marriage to me. I wondered if the two men prepared me for life with Kennedy. I supposed it was possible; male or female, elves were dangerous and as likely to eat me as help me.

  The pair ran me through my paces, gifted me with a collection of bruises for my wedding day, and ensured I had no hope of escaping, crawling into bed with Kennedy, and hiding under the covers. I thought I’d done well enough; I’d managed to make both of the smug bastards bleed at least once.

  Redemption had helped with that, although I doubted I’d ever get used to the sword having the ability to nudge me in the right direction when I wasn’t strong or fast enough.

  At dawn on my wedding day, they wrangled me into a black suit, cleaned Redemption until he shined, polished his sheath until every stone glittered, and treated me like a doll for their amusement. Kitten, Destroyer of Worlds got the same treatment, except instead of a suit, she got to wear chainmail and a diamond-encrusted collar. Since ‘the skins of her enemies’ wasn’t a possibility, they made her a little black cloak hemmed with even more diamonds.