by Dixon, Ruby
“I love you,” I blurt out, unable to keep the words back any longer.
Vordis looks up at me, mid-squint, and his expression turns to one of pleasure. “My Angie. Is all well?” He lifts Glory into his arms, careful to cradle her head and neck, and smiles. “She was restless, so I thought to distract her.”
“You’re doing amazing,” I tell him, undoing the laces on the front of my tunic. “And she’s just hungry.” I avoid the whole “is all well” part of the question and hope he doesn’t notice me avoiding an answer. I sit down and put my arms out, and he carefully hands her to me, watching intently as I open my tunic and put my little girl to my breast. She latches on with a hungry sound, and then the hut is silent except for the noisy little grunts that Glory makes as she nurses.
Vordis just chuckles. “Listen to her. She makes it seem as if she starves.” He moves to sit next to me, brushing my hair off my face since my arms are full of Glory, and then leans in to rub his nose against my cheek and ear. “I am glad you have returned. I missed you.”
I lean back against him, utterly content with his nearness. I can’t resonate to someone else. It’s a mistake. It has to be. I’m filled with such love and joy right now that the universe can’t take that away from me. “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him fiercely, and I mean it. I look up at him and there’s such heat in his eyes, such fierce, possessive pleasure that it makes me shiver. “As soon as Glory’s done, I’ll put her down and then you and I get some time together, all right?”
He just leans in and nips at my ear, then presses a kiss to the bared skin on my shoulder that peeks out from the loose neck of my tunic. “Did the healer answer your questions?”
“Mmm.”
Vordis pauses, and then adds, “It is normal for me to ejaculate.”
Okay, that’s a bit of a conversation turn. I’m stunned into silence for a moment, and then I realize that’s probably what he asked Veronica about. “I didn’t realize that wasn’t a normal thing for you.”
“I did not either,” he admits. “There is much I do not know about mating. I know the mechanics, of course. I have seen other gladiators cover females after fights, but I have always been told that a’ani are different. Sterile. I did not think…well, it does not matter. I have been told lies.” He brushes his mouth against my collarbone again. “But I am here now with you and nothing else is important.”
“That’s right,” I agree, and my heart aches for him all over again. How frustrating and strange being here must be for him, too. Here I thought I was the only one struggling with changes and it seems that Vordis has had his own demons. I feel a twinge of guilt and reach up to caress his cheek. “If you need to practice, I’m happy to help.”
I love the rumble of his laughter against my hand. He presses his mouth to my palm. “I shall take you up on that.”
“Please do.”
He nuzzles at my throat again, and I’m filled with need for him. I look up at him, and my eyes meet his bright blue ones. They’re like blue flame against his skin, and hot need shines in them. I want him to peel the tunic off my body and keep touching me, stroking my skin and making love to me with caresses…but I’ve got a nursing baby in my arms. Glory fusses for a moment, so I switch breasts and then the moment is gone. He touches my cheek and then gets up to set the tripod and pouch over the fire, putting on herbal tea and then puttering around while I’m busy with the baby. After she’s done with her meal, I burp her and then rock her gently until she drowses to sleep. Once she’s tucked in her basket, I turn back to Vordis, my hand on the laces of my open tunic.
“Leave it open,” he murmurs, even as he hands me a cup of tea. “I like to look at you.”
I take a sip, resisting the urge to girlishly try to finger-comb my hair. I’m like every other new mom in that I’m an utter mess most of the time. Even my tunic has burp-up stains on it. “I’d rather look at you,” I deflect.
He glances down at his bare chest, frowning. “But you are.”
I choke back my giggle, because I don’t want to wake up Glory. Instead, I just put my tea cup down safely, then crawl over a few steps to sit with him. “Knock knock,” I whisper, my gaze searching his.
“Vordis is here,” he murmurs, then gives me a devilish grin.
I shake my head, grinning back. “You’re not even trying now.”
“I like your smile when I do it wrong. That is better than any joke.”
Oh, this man. I reach out and put my hand on his chest, and then feel the insane urge to wrap my arms around him and bury my face against his skin. I don’t want to think about my problems, but now that it’s quiet again, they’re creeping in. “Would you hold me, please?”
He immediately wraps his arms around me and tucks me against his big body, enveloping me in warmth and his wonderful scent. I cling to him, breathing deep.
“What is it?” he asks. His hand strokes down my back in a comforting touch.
“Give me a moment and I’ll tell you. I need to get my head straight,” I whisper, closing my eyes and letting his scent envelop me.
“Whatever it is,” he murmurs, “We will face it together.”
The tears I’ve been trying to ignore prick at my eyelids and I just press my ear to his chest, listening to his heart. It drums steadily, quickly, loudly. It’s my nearness, I suppose, and my wonderful Vordis is nervous. That’s why his heart hammers in his chest so. I wish it were you, I tell it. Just a little louder, just a little more, and you’d be resonance.
As if it can hear me, the pounding in his chest grows.
I gasp, even as I sit upright, and stare into his eyes.
It takes Vordis a moment to realize what’s happening. “My khui,” he murmurs, his hand going to his heart. “Did you command it, as you do my cock?”
“No,” I breathe. “At least, I don’t think so. We don’t have that power, do we?” I shake my head as if to clear it. “I don’t care! All I know is that I’m resonating to you and you’re resonating to me.” A happy laugh escapes me. “Oh, Vordis!”
He rubs at the skin in the center of his chest, his expression stunned. His gaze focuses on the wall of the hut, but I suspect he is not seeing anything. “Clones are not sterile, it seems,” he says slowly, as if unable to believe what he’s hearing.
I laugh again, because I’m giddy with delight. “It seems not.” I cup his face in my hands, tilting his head so he looks at me. “Is this all right? Is it what you wanted?” I’m suddenly filled with worry and doubt. “You’re awfully quiet.”
Vordis’s expression is utterly dazed. “Angie. My Angie. You truly are mine.” He groans and pulls me against him. “I am beyond words right now.”
“I’d settle for a ‘yes, Angie, this is exactly what I wanted’,” I tell him nervously. I’ve wished for this so much but…he can’t be having doubts, can he?
He shakes his head, and then an expression of pure joy crosses his face. Vordis gives a loud whoop and tackles me backwards onto the furs, laughing with delight. “Mine,” he calls out. “Mine! All mine. Ah, my sweet Angie, I could not have dreamed of such joy for myself.” He buries his face against my neck, kissing my skin over and over again and laughing wildly.
I join in, giddy with happiness. Oh my god. This is really happening. Dreams do come true. I kiss him back, planting my mouth everywhere I can, like a woman possessed.
An angry wail, thready and high pitched, breaks through our laughter and frantic kissing. Glory, utterly indignant at being woken up from her nap, lets out another throaty cry of anger.
“Oh.” I stop kissing him, ashamed. “We woke up the baby.”
He presses a hot kiss to my mouth—twice—and then gets up. “I will handle it.” He moves to the baby’s basket and takes her in his arms, a joyous smile on his face that melts my heart. “I am to be your father, Glory. Is this not wonderful?”
She gives him another angry wail, her fists flailing.
I can’t help but laugh at the adorable concern on his fac
e when she doesn’t stop her screaming. I’ve never heard her wail so loudly, and for a moment, I’m concerned. I get to my feet and take her from him, and she immediately nuzzles against my chest, grunting, and then latches on for another feeding. I give Vordis an apologetic look. “You have the wrong equipment for soothing babies.”
“It does not matter.” He beams at me, pure joy, and caresses Glory’s head and then moves behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I hold her. “I should not have been so loud, but I could not contain myself.”
I can’t stop smiling, leaning back against him as Glory drinks for no more than a minute, and then drowses back to sleep. I gaze down at my baby, and even as I do, the cootie in my breast gets louder and louder, as if demanding attention. I can feel Vordis’s chest vibrating lightly against my back. “Maybe I should take her to Gail today. Give us some privacy for resonance. I don’t want to have to be quiet.”
And I blush.
He groans low, caressing my jaw as I lean back against him, and then I feel his teeth nip against the shell of my ear. “Do what pleases you. I will be silent if I must, as long as I may touch my mate and claim her.”
Oh, I like that idea. But I also don’t want to deal with a fussy baby all day long, and if we keep waking her from her nap, my even-tempered little Glory is going to be a beast. “I’ll see if Gail can watch her. We should have some alone time.” I arch back against him. “I don’t want you to be quiet. I want to hear every sound you make.”
Vordis inhales sharply, and then gently tugs my tunic up over my shoulders. “Then I will make you food, so when you return, you will eat and then we will mate as loudly and as often as we want.”
I giggle, because he’s so very serious and those words are so very ridiculous. “Sounds like a plan.”
Of course, being that this is an ice planet and I have a baby, one doesn’t just jaunt across camp, especially in the brutal season. It requires a lot of prep work. Vordis holds Glory while I layer on furs after furs, then put on my boots and over wraps. After that, I pack a satchel of extra butt wraps and blankets for the baby and everything else I can think of. When I have everything ready to go, I take the baby as he hands her to me, and then I hesitate. Am I being a bad mother? I look at Vordis, full of worry.
His eyes meet mine and he says nothing, but his gaze devours me as if I’m not dressed like a polar bear, but naked instead. As we stare at each other, his khui gets louder in his chest. Mine does, too, and with it comes a wave of heat that pools between my thighs and then it feels as if my cootie is throbbing right on my most sensitive spots.
Yeah. We are so going to wake the baby if she stays. “I’ll be back,” I promise him, breathless.
“Hurry.”
Oh, I plan on it. I tuck my swaddled child against my chest and Vordis helps me down from the hut’s platform. Then, I head out of the hut and down the beach, looking for Gail’s tent. She camps near Lauren and K’thar, so I head for the Strong Arm clan’s cluster of tents and find both Lauren and Gail standing near the fire. Lauren’s holding Z’hren as Gail laughs, and then both notice me and wave.
“Hi,” I say breathlessly, marching over to them. “I need a big, big favor.”
Gail puts out her arms. “You need me to watch this gorgeous baby of yours, right? The answer is yes.”
“How did you know?” I ask, surprised even as I hand Glory over. I feel a twinge of guilt, but the look of bliss on Gail’s face makes it a little easier. She loves babies so much.
The older woman puts my daughter against her shoulder, smiling. “You marched over here with the Not-Hoth equivalent of a diaper bag on your shoulder. Is everything okay?” She glances over at me, curious.
“Oh yeah,” I say breathlessly, and put a hand to my chest. My hand shivers against my skin with the force of my cootie.
Lauren gasps, her eyes going wide. “Did you resonate?” When I nod, she looks surprised. “So soon after baby? Wow.”
Gail studies my face. “Is…this a good thing? Are we happy about this?”
“We are ecstatic,” I admit, blushing. “And the baby needs to sleep and we might be noisy.”
“Oh, girl.” Gail just grins, rocking Glory slightly. “You take as long as you need. You can drop by to feed her if you want, but if she fusses I can help out with that. I’m more than happy to help out.”
“I have to know,” Lauren chimes in. “Is it hot sauce or ketchup? Or neither?”
“What?” Gail asks, her brow furrowing.
I blush, remembering that stupid joke from weeks ago. “It depends, is Vordis hot sauce or ketchup?”
“You tell me.” She winks, and then it turns into a grimace when Z’hren grabs a handful of her hair. “I can’t keep the two of them straight.”
“Vordis is the thoughtful one,” I tell her dreamily. “The one with the nice eyes.”
“Ooookay. As opposed to the clone that has the same eyes, but whatever. You know them better than I do,” Lauren says with a chuckle, extracting her hair from Z’hren’s tight grip. “I’m just happy you’re happy, ketchup and hot sauce aside.”
“I don’t care what condiment he is as long as he’s mine,” I tell them, pressing my hand to my chest as if I can’t quite believe my cootie’s resonating. “It’s so crazy. Is…is it possible to influence your cootie? Because I was so worried that I’d resonate to someone else and then it’s like it answered my prayers.” I’m still stunned that things worked out so wonderfully. I really do feel like the luckiest woman ever. “It’s almost like it was listening to me.”
“Maybe?” Lauren shrugs. “I always wonder if it’s one of those chicken-or-egg things. Are you attracted because your cootie knows and pulls you toward that person, or does the cootie realize how you feel and acts accordingly? It looks like it always ends up happily, so does it even matter?”
She’s got a point. Either way, I’m thrilled. I turn to Gail again and set the bag down on the ground. “You sure you don’t mind? I hate the thought of leaving her if you’re busy…” Actually, I hate the thought of leaving her at all, but I’m also trying to be sensible.
“Oh, lord, no. Do not worry at all. I get to dote on this beautiful baby all day and you two need some privacy.” She cuddles Glory to her, smiling.
“I can pitch in with Z’hren,” Lauren adds. “You guys take all the time you need. We’ve got this handled. I know what it’s like to resonate. You’re not going to be thinking babies. You’re going to be thinking about how to make them.” And she laughs at her own joke.
She has a point. I give Gail a grateful look, check on my daughter one last time, and then awkwardly hug them both. “Thank you so much, both of you.”
“Enjoy,” Gail murmurs, her gaze on my sleeping daughter. She looks thrilled to have her, and my unease melts away.
I turn and head back to the hut, stumbling a little as I do. No sooner have I passed off Glory than the full force of resonance flares to life, distracting me. My body’s humming furiously and even the brush of my leather clothing over my body makes everything ultra-sensitive. I think of Vordis and wonder if he’s feeling the same way, and gasp with how much need flares through my body. Just thinking about him nearly makes me double over with lust. I move a little faster, then, eager to get back to the hut and to his arms. Is he going to be naked? Waiting for me under the furs with all that delicious red skin exposed?
Oh god, why does just picturing that make me ache so deeply? My female parts seem to squeeze in response at the thought, and I keep my head down and my steps quick so no one stops me to chat. I don’t want to talk right now—I already spent too long with Gail and Lauren. All I want to do is get back to the hut and tackle Vordis.
I will seriously cut a bitch if Thrand stops me and says hello.
25
VORDIS
I kneel near the firepit, trying to ignore the throb of my erection as I stir the hot tea. I have cakes of trail rations, because I know that Angie does not like stew this early in the day, and sh
e needs to eat. Thinking about Angie just makes my khui drum harder in my chest, and when I press against the length of my cock with my hand, I can feel wetness leaking from the tip.
This must be normal for clones, after all.
I am still stunned that my Angie resonated to me. Ever since Thrand and I arrived, the thought of a female has been a constant hope. As the days passed, my desire for a female shifted; I did not want just any female. I wanted Angie. That she will soon be mine is beyond joy. I think of the way she kissed me, her soft, hot mouth on mine, and the way her hand stroked my length.
I run a hand down my sweaty face. I wish I had asked one of the other mated males for advice on how to please a female. I have very little experience, but my imagination has flared with all kinds of explicit scenarios ever since Angie smiled at me. I can think of dozens of things I would like to do to her, but I do not want to frighten her or do something wrong. More kisses, then, because she likes those. And the way she touched my cock…I could do the same to her—palm her cunt and try to work her to the same heights of pleasure she gave me.
I hope.
Females are different, though. She might not want me to explore her body. Is she not always covering her parts from my view as if they are shameful and unpleasant? What if she does not appreciate a touch there? This is troubling. I stir the fire, wondering if I have time to go out and speak to one of the recently mated males. Who would know the most? Taushen, perhaps. Or Ashtar. A’tam has been mating the one female without resonance, so he is clearly doing something right.
I rise to my feet…and my hand immediately goes to my groin. It aches, so very stiff that walking will be impossible, much less crossing the camp to speak to another male. I drop back into a crouch again, panting. Pressing my hand against my cock does not make the ache better—it only makes me wish for Angie to return that much faster.
All right, think, Vordis. You have seen females before. You have seen males in the arena mate with the prizes they received. What did they do? I close my eyes, picturing it, and wince. Those females were always crying and unhappy, and I do not remember a single male touching his female with kindness. The other clones and I used to marvel at how rough the other males were with their prizes. Such things were never offered to clones, not even the vids that other gladiators spoke of where males would mate with females for a recording.