Listening to the Quiet
Page 24
Chapter Twenty-Five
Mercy put the last of Jo’s luggage down in Cardhu’s hallway, then raised her eyes to the ceiling. Jo and Luke were in the kitchen and they were kissing again, laughing like a pair of adolescents. Their steady stream of embraces was growing almost indecent. There was no use in asking them to stop, they both wore the same hopelessly devoted, doe-eyed expression as her brother had had when looking forward to a meeting with Katherine Venner.
‘Oh, Jo,’ Mercy whispered sorrowfully. ‘I wish you could see he’ll bring you nothing but trouble.’ The way Jo was behaving at this moment meant an unplanned pregnancy was probably not out of the question.
Jo had only managed to keep her job through Marcus Lidgey’s wholehearted support for her teaching accomplishments, and by her agreeing to the vicar’s restrictions that she must not set foot inside a pupil’s house unless in the company of Miss Teague or Mr Lidgey. In view of her selfless action on the day of the savage dog’s attack, most parents were prepared to give her a second chance. But they would not tolerate another scandalous incident. Beth was only allowed to continue work at the Vigus cottage on the condition Luke bought no more drink for Jessie.
‘Jo, is that kettle boiling yet? I’m getting parched,’ Mercy bawled along the passage.
The couple finally parted and she made for the kitchen and the mug of tea promised half an hour ago.
While Jo made the brew, Luke leaned against the draining board. After transporting half a dozen sacks of coal to Cardhu and tipping them into the coal house, he had carried scuttles of coal inside and lit fires in all the rooms to air the house. His hands, face and shirt were blackened. He gulped down the tea, unconcerned at Mercy’s disapproving glare, making a point of not dipping into the tin of homemade cake the farmer had brought with her.
Jo arranged a bunch of daffodils and catkins in a crystal vase. ‘We’ll soon have plenty of hot water, thanks to you, Luke.’
‘Good.’ He sniffed under his armpit, eyeing Mercy in equal disdain, only his expression held amusement. ‘I need to clean up. Think I’ll take a bath before I go, never used a proper one before.’
Mercy exhaled a long breathy sigh. ‘I’m sure Jo’s grateful for your help but there’s no need for you to hang about.’
Luke finished his tea. ‘You might as well go, Mercy. I intend to stick around long enough to spend time with Jo alone.’
‘S’pose you’ll be off on your travels again soon. Don’t know why you bother to come back. Them poor kids hardly ever see you when you’re here,’ Mercy fulminated.
‘I’ll be here all through the Easter holiday. My affairs don’t concern you. Haven’t you got a wild dog to catch? Heard it had one of Dick Markham’s prime ewes last night.’
‘Where did you hear that, as if I didn’t know? Down the pub, probably on your umpteenth beer.’
‘Please don’t fall out, you two,’ Jo implored them. ‘My moving in here is a cause for celebration.’
‘I’ll have to be going anyway,’ Mercy said, heading for the back door. ‘You’re a fool to trust him, Jo. I’ve said it before and you choose to take no notice, but the only promise you’ll get out of him is a short-lived one. Don’t make yourself a stranger at Nance.’
When Mercy had gone, Jo returned to Luke. ‘Don’t let Mercy upset you. She’s only being a friend.’
‘Do you share her views? And the others? That I’m no good? That I’ll soon desert you?’
‘No, darling, of course not.’
He gazed at her a long time, his face working, as if he was having difficulty forming the next words, but for Jo they were the words she had been longing to hear. ‘I couldn’t bear it if you thought badly of me, Jo, because I love you.’
‘I love you too, Luke. I love you now and I always will, nothing that happens will ever change that.’
Their embrace was long and tender, putting the seal on their declaration. Then he laid his mouth over hers in a long sensuous kiss. He felt her tremble, recognised her inward sigh. ‘I’ll clean up, then you can join me upstairs.’
They had made love several times in the past few days, here in the house, in Luke’s wagon, on the moor, each occasion as special as the first time. Jo was in a state of ecstasy now she knew he wanted more from her than the joining of their flesh. While he bathed, she locked the doors in case word of her move had got about and she received curious visitors.
On the landing, wearing only a towel, Luke linked arms with her. He stopped at the door of the main bedroom.
‘This is Celia’s room,’ she said.
‘It’s your room now. I’m sure she’d approve of you taking the man you love in there.’
‘Yes, you’re right, darling.’
Inside the bedroom, Jo touched the satin bedcover. Like Celia, she would know the ecstasy of having her lover lie here with her, and the loneliness when he was far away.
They fell naked and laughing on to the bed, kissing softly at first, then letting passion build and burn, enfold and inspire them, transport them where it may.
Luke became contemplative. Jo was so fragile, it was as if he could run his fingers right through her, break her, then remould her to his own design. But there was no need for that, she was wonderfully unique. She was strong, an ocean of love, a storm of hope, come into his life to fulfil him.
The only contact she could feel was his warm sweet breath fanning her face. ‘Luke?’
He smiled in the way he kept exclusively for her.
She took his lips hungrily, seeking to place the heat of her love inside him and take away all the hurt and pain he had known. Like the distant wind soughing through the empty spaces on the moor, she sighed, ‘Luke, I love you. Please…’
Taking ultimate possession of her, he received his reward, her moan of rapture. As always he kept one hand moving over her body to heighten her awareness and pleasure. She arched herself towards him, giving herself to him more and more, carried away on a sea and sky of perfect motion.
Luke understood her voyage completely, why she wept as he took her into timelessness and total inner liberation. In this woman beneath him, her mobility in perfect rhythm with his, he felt them join totally as one.
Later, as he tenderly dried her tears with the pads of his thumbs and kissed her one last time, she curled into him, drawn to the hope of a wonderful future, his love for ever.
‘You all right, my love?’ He asked her this every time they made love.
‘Mmmm.’ Dreamily she moved closer against him. ‘I don’t think many people are blessed with the way we make each other feel, Luke.’
They stayed quiet. They slept. They awoke and made love again and this time he showed her how to take the dominant position. Then once more he sought her reassurance. She kissed his hand. Words were not needed.
Back down in the kitchen they made a meal of the food Jo had brought with her from Nance and they took it, with the beer Luke fetched from the wagon, into the sitting room. Both ravenously hungry, they cuddled up on the sofa and quickly consumed the bread and ham and preserved-apple pie.
‘We’ll have a wonderful night too, my love,’ Luke said.
Jo looked him in the eye. ‘Don’t you intend going home today?’
‘No, why should I?’
‘Luke, what about the children? I’ve been feeling selfish keeping you away from them for so long.’
‘They’re fine. Mrs Wherry will take Marylyn home at six. Rex can watch her and get Molly off to bed.’
‘But they’re only children.’ Jo frowned. ‘Rex is too young for that sort of responsibility. They need you.’
‘Don’t be bossy, Jo,’ he crooned, blowing on her neck. ‘I’ll see them tomorrow. They manage when Beth’s not there.’
‘But that’s the point, darling. They shouldn’t have to manage—’
‘Don’t spoil the day.’ He pulled away from her. ‘I’m trying as hard as I know how to make things better for them.’
‘For them or for you, Luke?’
‘Luke! That’s not true. Listen to me, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty.’ Putting her hands on his tense shoulders she spoke close to his ear. ‘I’ve got an idea. Bring the children here for the rest of the holiday. We can be one big family together. The change will do them good, specially Molly.’
‘This place is too fancy for them.’ He shook his head, as if trying to dislodge a torment, refusing to look at her. ‘You can’t give them a taste of this then shove them back in that bloody pigsty. Besides, you’re not thinking straight. You’re their teacher, the vicar wouldn’t like it. For crying out loud, Jo, why can’t you leave this go? Why must you pick away at me? The kids are all right. I pay Beth and the Wherry woman well for feeding them. I’ll do more, I swear. I’ll think of something. Just leave it. Understand?’
‘Do you love the children, Luke?’ Jo’s voice was calm but her heart was uneasy while waiting for his answer. She had not realised quite how much a burden his brother and sisters were to him. She had rubbed at the sorest spot of his selfishness. ‘You cuffed Arnold Jelbert for bullying Molly that time and issued all manner of threats to him, but you didn’t comfort Molly.’
He raised his dark head, gazing at her out of great solemn eyes. ‘I care about them, that’s all. That’s the truth, whether you like it or not. I’ve only ever loved two people, Gran and now you. Isn’t that good enough for you?’ Before she could reply, he groaned, as if cut to the bowels. ‘I don’t know what else I can do, Jo. I’m asking around to find the kids a new home. Where they’ll be well cared for. Where I can visit them. I don’t ever intend to desert them. What I can’t do is be a father to them. I don’t ever want to be a father!’
‘It’s understandable that you feel this way,’ Jo cried, irked at his self-pity. ‘But it doesn’t excuse you leaving the children alone while you’re in Parmarth.’
Tears formed in Luke’s eyes. ‘So you do think of me in the same way as the others. I should’ve known I’d never measure up to your standards. It was just a silly dream, that we had some sort of future together. I’m sorry you ever got involved with my family.’ He was on his feet, ready to leave.
Jo sat stunned, unable to believe that so soon after proclaiming their love they were quarrelling heatedly. Then she was beside him, gripping his arm. ‘I won’t let you go like this. I love you, Luke, whatever your failings. But you are a good man, I believe that with all my heart.’
He stared down on her. Small, barefoot, only half of her clothes on, tears on her face, she looked rather like a child. A vulnerable needy child, same as the ones he wanted to offload on to others. He loved her so much then he thought his heart would shatter. ‘Let me go, Jo. I’m no good for you. I’ll only hurt you.’
‘No! If you walk out on me I’ll follow you wherever you go. I’ll find you, no matter how long it takes. We’ve been joined as one and there’s no going back for me. I want you, whatever you’re like. I can’t live without you, Luke! I won’t!’
Luke suddenly crushed her in his arms. ‘I could never give you up. You’re right. I ought to go home to the kids. Just let me stay with you a little while longer.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
Luke carried Marylyn to the Wherrys’ house. He was not holding his baby sister close, unaware of her panic that she was about to fall. Fretting wildly, her arms flailing, she hit him on the chin. It hurt a lot.
In his ignorance, Luke considered she had done it in spite. ‘Stop it. For goodness’ sake, I’m doing my best for you.’ Mrs Wherry took Marylyn from him and the baby settled at once in her arms. ‘That’s better, my handsome. I’ll take care of you now.’
‘She’s always crying,’ Luke grumbled.
‘She’s teething, Luke.’ Mrs Wherry, thickly bodied and conservatively dressed, tut-tutted at him. ‘You should be more patient with her.’
Luke put his hand in his trouser pocket. ‘Here’s your pay.’
‘Thank you.’ Mrs Wherry expected him to leave immediately, as he always did when he brought Marylyn to her, and she was surprised he was still cluttering up her kitchen a few moments later. ‘Did you want me to feed Rex and Molly? I thought you were staying home this morning.’
Embarrassed at the woman’s tart tones, he cleared his throat. ‘You’re good to the kids. I’m very grateful to you. I guess you’re getting fond of them.’
Mrs Wherry eyed him. ‘I suggest you bring what’s on your mind out in the open.’
‘I was wondering if there’s any possibility you could take the kids on for good. I mean, come to live with you. You’ve got a big enough house. They like you and Beth. Molly feels safe here. I’d pay you well. I can even give you a lump sum upfront if you’d need to get anything in for them.’
Mrs Wherry put Marylyn down on the mat to play with the few makeshift toys she kept for her, then folded her arms. ‘And then I suppose I’d never see you again.’
‘No, I promise it won’t be like that. I’ll be back this way regularly.’
‘To see Miss Venner, I suppose. That maid hasn’t kept the sense in her head the good Lord gave her. I doubt if she’d see you for long either. I’m sorry, Luke, you’ve asked me a favour so I’ll say my piece. Even if I wanted to agree with your request, I couldn’t take the children away from their mother, as bad as she is. They’re your responsibility, not mine and Beth’s. We’ll go on with our present arrangement for the children’s sakes. You should really be thinking of settling down.’
‘But I’ve got to go away to work,’ Luke bellowed, frustrated, humiliated. He couldn’t take much more. ‘There’s no damned work round here, you know that! I don’t want the kids left alone with my old woman any longer. It’s not my fault she’s a rotten mother. I’m trying to do the right thing. Can’t you give me some credit?’
‘Calm down, Luke.’ Mrs Wherry raised her voice. ‘I won’t have you shouting in my house. I understand your problems, up to a point, but I can’t help you.’
Luke felt the whole world was against him. ‘I’ll come back for the baby this evening.’
He strode outside, feeling the need to thump his fists into something hard to assuage his anger. How dare the bloody woman make that crack about Jo? He’d never desert her. One day he’d make these nosey, self-righteous villagers admit they were wrong about him where she was concerned.
His hands trembled as he lit a cigarette. He rubbed his fingers over his face. The stress of trying to care for his brother and sisters was getting to him. He had been in a nervous state since his quarrel with Jo yesterday. He hated her seeing his worst traits so clearly.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Marcus carried his mother’s breakfast tray downstairs to the kitchen. The plate was cleared. Most days his mother kept to her bed, but her appetite had picked up and he despaired that she would ever weaken and die. On a positive note, he was sharp enough not to step close to her and she had been unsuccessful in laying her hands on him throughout the holiday. The days were passing relatively peacefully. He tended the garden and rambled on the moors. Played for hours on his harpsichord and violin.
The only blight was Luke Vigus being home, but last night, at the Engine House, Marcus had overheard the other man talking of spending the following afternoon with a fellow dealer at Pendeen. At last, he had the opportunity to take the promised horse ride with Joanna.
In the pub, Marcus had taken his glass of brandy to a secluded table to study the man who had no notion he had an inactive rival for Joanna.
Luke was playing cards, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He was clean and acceptably dressed, but his language was coarse and ill-used. His fiercest critics did not frequent the pub, and he was thoroughly at home in the company of his male neighbours, swapping jokes and ribald stories. To Marcus’s mind, hardly an intelligent word passed his lips. His beer glass was refilled at a rapid rate. He did not seem the t
ype to settle down to wife and hearth, to give a woman the respect and cherishing she deserved. Marcus had finished his drink in perplexity. He could not see what appeal the other man had for Joanna. But who knew what went on in private? The villagers would suffer enough shock to last them a lifetime if they discovered how his mother had abused him nearly all his life.
Beth Wherry was alone in the kitchen. ‘Mrs Lidgey was tempted again then, sir?’ she remarked modestly.
Engrossed in his thoughts, Marcus almost missed her childlike voice. Although very quiet, Beth had an abundance of good sense. He had come to realise it was her ability to switch herself off from her surroundings which made people accuse her of being simple-minded. She was a very good cook and now shared the job with Sally. Honest and ordinary, her faith unshakable, she never complained and always saw the better side of people. While Marcus did not appreciate her slipping into his mother’s room and praying over her while she slept, he valued the peaceful atmosphere she brought to the house.
‘Yes, Beth, she likes your light pastry particularly.’
‘I’ll get a fresh chicken from Nance tomorrow. Make some hearty broth for her.’ She looked for his approval, treating him as if he was her headmaster and she his pupil.
‘Good.’ Marcus stared at her. Her voice was immature, so soft, a murmur, barely above a whisper, and it gave him an idea. Hope at last? It required serious thought. He would have to tread carefully to win Beth’s support while at the same time keeping her trust.
‘How are you coping with your other job as nursemaid to the Vigus children, Beth?’ Marcus said, his eyes directly on his young skivvy. The whole village was agog with the news, of how last Sunday Luke Vigus had attended chapel, wearing a suit, while his brother and sisters had been baptised. Of course, Luke Vigus’s only intention had been to keep Beth and her mother’s services.
‘I enjoy it, sir,’ Beth said. Mr Lidgey had taken to pausing in her company for little chats. She sensed he was lonely and she was happy to ease that for him, but she always felt strangely disturbed by him and was glad when he moved on. Beth was too naive to recognise the stirrings of infatuation. ‘Do you want me to make you some coffee?’