Too Close to Mr Darcy

by Claire Cartier

  Once again, Mr. Collins was the only one who appeared oblivious to any changes in mood or tension at the breakfast table. He slurped his tea and chewed noisily at a piece of cold meat, appearing completely content.

  “So, Jane, dear,” he said casually once he had dealt with the stringy bite, “did you not have a grand time in the company of Mr. Bowles last night?”

  Jane’s face suddenly turned almost green. Elizabeth wished she could slap Cousin Collins. It only now occurred to her that having failed with her, Mr. Bowles might have tried his detestable foot-rubbing trick or something even worse on Jane. With her being the more delicate of the two, Elizabeth could only imagine how her sister would have felt, especially when she was too good-mannered to flee from the room as Elizabeth had done.

  It was a miracle that at precisely that moment, Fanny entered the room unceremoniously and presented Mr. Collins with a simple wooden tray.

  “The post,” she growled and performed the least refined curtsy Elizabeth had ever seen. She wondered how long it would be before Mrs. Collins finally admitted that she had hired the most incompetent maid in all of Hertfordshire.

  “Ah, thank you, Fanny,” Mr. Collins said.

  To Elizabeth’s relief, he occupied himself with opening the single thick letter on the tray at once and seemed to have forgotten he had asked Jane anything.

  For a lack of a suitable subject to discuss, the ladies of Longbourn all focused their eyes on Mr. Collins, trying to gauge by his expression whether the news he had received was good or bad. No one in the room needed any more bad news today.

  Elizabeth’s brow furrowed once she observed her cousin go through obvious delight at finding out who the letter was from, to deep concentration upon reading it, and finally to genuine surprise at its end. His twitching face betrayed his impatience to finish reading so he could share what he had learned with his family. If her cousin was that excited, the matter could only be related to his church functions, Elizabeth decided and lost interest. She went back to her spongy, bland toast.

  Eventually, Mr. Collins placed the densely filled sheets of paper on a clear spot on the table and smoothed them out with great care. He looked up at the women around him and assumed an expression rather familiar to Elizabeth. His eyes shone with enthusiasm and his lips stretched in a measured smile, his head slightly tilted to one side. He looked similarly when he stood before his congregation at the chapel, ready to launch into his sermon, but waiting to build hunger and anticipation in his audience.

  What news could possibly warrant such elaborate preparation before delivering?

  As far as Elizabeth knew, Cousin Collins’s correspondence, which he frequently liked to share excerpts from, was less than riveting.

  “I have been contacted by the generous and gracious Lady Catherine de Bourgh,” he finally announced in a reverent tone.

  Mrs. Collins gasped. Possibly so trained by her husband, she held great respect for the wealthy and esteemed Lady Catherine. If it had not been for her and her kindness and generosity, the recently married Mr. and Mrs. Collins would have had no means of income and no roof over their heads. Lady Catherine had kindly established Mr. Collins in a parish.

  Elizabeth found herself straightening her back and leaning slightly forward over the table. She was now mildly interested in what the letter was about. After all, it was rather unusual for a lady of such stature to write to Mr. Collins (and at such length, judging by the letter’s size), especially when the latter had moved away from her estate.

  Mr. Collins was not as surprised as she was. He believed that the immeasurably high regard he held for Lady Catherine was mutual.

  “I am afraid that it is not all good news I will have to share,” Mr. Collins said theatrically and elicited another gasp from his wife.

  “The Lady’s health is fine at least, I hope,” Mrs. Collins said, clutching her throat with her bony fingers.

  “Oh, she is alright physically, as far as I can gather,” Mr. Collins said and grabbed the sheets of the letter again, perusing them once again in case he had missed something. “However, unfortunately, she is rather dejected.”

  And she chose to seek spiritual solace from you? Elizabeth thought wryly. Outwardly, she fixed her features to convey the compassion she did not feel, but which was appropriate for the current mood at the breakfast table.

  “What is the matter?” Mrs. Collins nearly cried from the edge of her seat.

  “Poor Miss de Bourgh’s health is declining,” Mr. Collins announced solemnly. He turned to Jane and Elizabeth then and explained, “Miss Anne de Bourgh is Lady Catherine’s only daughter and she has been feeling unwell for years now. I myself have rarely had the chance to see the young Miss, despite being a frequent guest at Rosings while I resided in Hunsford. I could only speak superlatives of her, though, and it saddens me to no end to hear of this unfortunate development.”

  Elizabeth was even more confused now. Why would Lady Catherine write to her cousin to bring him up to date on her daughter’s health? Then she remembered that there was supposedly also a piece of good news buried amid the tragedy conveyed in the letter.

  “I am honored that in times of such great distress, Lady Catherine has thought of her humble servant to extend a request for help,” Mr. Collins continued, now appearing as proud as a peacock. “I shall be the most wretched and ungrateful human being if I do not fulfill her request at once.”

  “What is it she is asking of you?” Mrs. Collins asked, now a note of suspicion lacing her tone and a slight frown ruffling her brow.

  “Through my own letters to her, Lady Catherine has become aware that I have five young, unmarried cousins of good reputation and various merits. She has requested that I recommend one of them to travel to Rosings to serve as Miss de Bourgh’s lady’s companion since the young lady’s health precludes her from finding diversion in any other way. If this does not go to show what immense trust Lady Catherine holds—”

  Mrs. Collins almost choked on a piece of her food at the announcement. “It is a miracle,” Elizabeth thought she heard her mumble, but she could not be certain for a sudden bout of coughing obscured her words.

  Jane and Elizabeth exchanged a worried look. No one was listening to Mr. Collins any more while he went on extolling his former patroness who obviously continued to shower him with munificence and attention.

  Mrs. Collins, upon eventually recovering from her coughing fit, waited for her husband to conclude his fawning speech and cleared her throat.

  “Given the circumstances,” she said, “and considering her outstanding qualities such as quick wit, brightness of spirit and absence of pretense that would undoubtedly suit the proposed position, I believe Elizabeth should be the one to go.”

  Elizabeth found Jane’s hand under the table and squeezed it tightly.

  6

  The next several weeks at Longbourn, during which Jane and Elizabeth’s fates were to be determined, were rather tumultuous. Too frequently Mr. And Mrs. Collins disappeared behind closed doors and something that had never been heard in the house since they had moved in was becoming a regularity — raised voices.

  Only good manners precluded Elizabeth and Jane from pressing their ears to the doors and walls and listening in on the long conversations that were deciding their futures. The two sisters were left to collect a few shouted words here and a couple of indiscreet whispers there to piece together where the constant tension between husband and wife stemmed from.

  Eventually, to both girls’ surprise, it was Mrs. Collins who offered an explanation for her mysterious behavior in the past couple of weeks. Without her husband’s knowledge, she gathered Jane and Elizabeth in her own bedchamber and offered them a seat at a rather comfortable satin-covered settee that neither of the girls had ever seen before.

  “Dear girls,” she started in a tone so foreign that Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “As you both know, one of you is to take residence and a position as a lady’s companion at Rosings. A
nd very soon, for that matter. With Miss Anne’s health being so fickle and unpredictable, we must hurry to provide all the relief that we can.”

  Elizabeth was already familiar with these facts, so while Jane listened politely with her back erect and her eyes trained on those of Cousin Henrieta, she found herself distracted. She gazed around the room where she had not set foot since her parents’ passing. It looked foreign and rather overcrowded.

  Precious objects and pieces of art and furniture had been dragged here from all corners of the house. Vases, candle holders, and leather-bound tomes all had their placement along endless shelves that had been installed after Mrs. Collins’ arrival. A number of items, such as an ornate gilt-bronze clock and a multiple-piece silver toiletry set that was beautifully arranged before the large mirror, were unfamiliar to Elizabeth. She assumed Longbourn’s new mistress had brought them over from her previous home.

  Mrs. Collins is a magpie! Elizabeth thought, half-amused and half-appalled. And this is her secret nest.

  “…insists that Jane should better fit the position,” Elizabeth heard Mrs. Collins say and was immediately shocked into attention. Before either of the girls could express their surprise, Mrs. Collins continued. “I, on the other hand, am of the firm conviction that duties, which first and foremost include conversation, reading, maintaining a high spirit and devising little diversions for the young Miss, would be better performed by Elizabeth. Jane, dear, believe me, I think highly of your many merits but I trust they lie elsewhere. Besides, Elizabeth was the one to express her desire for adventure so ardently…”

  Jane did not even blink. By now, she had become used to Cousin Henrieta’s sometimes insensitive comments. Elizabeth suspected her sister was even relieved she did not have to travel as far as Kent. If Henrieta Collins was to have her way over her husband’s, that was.

  “Now, it remains up to us to convince Mr. Collins that Elizabeth would be the right choice,” Mrs. Collins said and launched into a well-rehearsed speech about how exactly they would go about her plan.

  Elizabeth was to show her more obedient side in the coming days, especially in Mr. Collins’ presence. She was to regularly take interest in his work, the carefully selected sermons he read to his family in the evenings, and the mundane anecdotes from his rounds around the parish he liked to share at dinner.

  But above all, she was to often respectfully inquire of his relationship with Lady Catherine, Miss de Bourgh’s health and Rosings’ splendor and suggest little ways in which the young woman might improve her health and spirit.

  In short, she was to take sudden and extreme interest in the de Bourgh family and demonstrate a willingness to serve them with humility and grace.

  Jane, on the other hand, was to appear disinterested, even apathetic and sometimes rude in her comments on the subject of Miss de Bourgh’s wellbeing. According to Mrs. Collins’ scheme, she was to avoid the topic, become intentionally less refined in her manner and appearance and openly defy Mr. Collins on certain occasions.

  That night, Jane and Elizabeth could not find rest. They had a lot to talk about. Not only had their audience with Mrs. Collins and the views and ideas she had expressed caught them by surprise, but they also acutely felt the inevitability of their imminent separation.

  It mattered little to them who would stay at Longbourn and who would go to Rosings if they were to be parted. Besides, they had none of Cousin Henrieta’s energy and enthusiasm to engage in such elaborate theatrics only to ensure that Elizabeth would be selected for Miss Anne’s companion. They could not fathom why it mattered so much to her.

  “This is all so disheartening,” Jane sighed. “Whatever would I do here if I were to stay behind? Undoubtedly, another gentleman, perhaps even more repulsive than Mr. Bowles, would be invited to dinner as soon as you leave. Oh, Lizzy. I wish there was a way we could stay together and have enough means to be able to support ourselves on our own. I can see now why the idea was so attractive to you previously.”

  “We still could,” Elizabeth said, her unseeing eyes fixed on the crackling wick of the candle on their nightstand.

  Jane propped herself up on her elbows and looked at her sister. She admired Elizabeth’s inability to get discouraged.

  “How?” she said.

  “What if we comply with Cousin Henrieta’s wishes and go along with her plan, so I am the one to be sent to Rosings. You, on the other hand, seek to fill the position at Netherfield. Miss Bingley already enjoys your company and, for some reason unclear to me, you enjoy hers. We will work until we save enough to be able to find a modest place of our own. It is a long stretch of the imagination, but at least it is feasible that we might accomplish what we set out for without having to resort to accepting a marriage proposal from anyone as revolting as Mr. Bowles.”

  Jane allowed herself a weak if hopeful smile.

  7

  The hired carriage, which was taking Elizabeth to her new appointment in Kent, trundled along the country roads. The journey, long enough on its own, was being prolonged by the worsened conditions of the roads following the winter months.

  Several times the wheels of the carriage had become stuck so viciously in the abundant mud, now that the frozen ground was thawing, that the traveling party had to stop and wait for help to drag them out of their predicament with additional horsepower.

  Elizabeth was feeling sore all over from the constant bumping and the abrupt stopping of the vehicle. On one occasion, the carriage drew to such a swift halt that she flew forward and found herself in a heap in the cramped space at her cousin’s feet.

  By now, her clothes were creased and rumpled, her hair nearly undone, and her boots and the hem of her skirts soiled with wet dirt. Usually the last to show any signs of vanity, she hoped she would get the chance to tidy herself before anyone saw her in this state. It was that disastrous.

  Mr. Collins had volunteered to accompany Elizabeth to her new place of employment in order to properly introduce her to Lady Catherine. Admittedly, he had an ulterior motive other than ensuring his cousin’s safety along the strenuous journey. He longed to visit Rosings, the place that had given him so much and the woman who was responsible for elevating him to the person he had become today.

  Elizabeth would have much rather faced the dangers of the road on her own than endure her cousin’s tedious company along the journey. Often, she pretended to read in order to avoid his impassioned pleas to always present her best self to Lady Catherine and Miss de Bourgh lest she disgraced him and rendered his recommendation a grave mistake.

  He took the chance to remind her of the virtues a young woman should strive towards and supported his opinions with selected passages from the thick tome of religious treatises that he had brought along for the road.

  Currently, to Elizabeth’s relief, Mr. Collins was dozing during a smoother section of the final stretch of road that would take them to Rosings. She was grateful to finally have the time to properly think without being constantly interrupted by her cousin’s droning voice.

  Her eyes were drawn to the waking world outside her small window, which had become steamed with her warm breath. She swiped at the vapor and stared out. Only moments ago there was only darkness outside, punctuated by the ghostly silhouettes of giant oaks which lined the road. The travelers had risen well before dawn to be able to arrive according to Mr. Collins’ estimations (and the date of arrival he had supplied to Lady Catherine in advance) despite the obstacles that had slowed them down.

  Now, the sun blazed behind the rugged canopy of ancient trees, the light streaking through the naked boughs in brilliant beams. Thin mist rolled along patches of early spring grass. Here and there, melting icicles hanging from twigs and fallen tree trunks caught the sunlight and sparkled like gems. All this beauty gave Elizabeth at least a small bit of optimism and hope. She might not be so miserable in a place where nature was so grand.

  Her expectations for the new appointment were not high. In fact, she had resigned herself to a year
, perhaps even more, of miserable existence away from home, from Jane and from all that was safe and familiar. Uninvited, her thoughts drifted back to her last day at Longbourn.

  Her valises had been packed with her modest collection of clothes, accessories, books and her box of jewelry and keepsakes. Jane had helped. Both of them had fussed around the already sparely decorated bedroom looking for anything else Elizabeth might need. It was clear that both of them were postponing the inevitable.

  Elizabeth had already said some of her good-byes. She had seen Charlotte, this time with Cousin Henrieta’s permission, earlier in the week. That morning, she had also sneaked out of the house one last time to visit her parents’ graveside. She had kneeled by the tombstone until her knees prickled and her feet had gone completely numb. She had vowed before her parents’ memory that she would succeed in her perilous plan.

  The moment had come for the toughest farewell. Jane and Elizabeth had lost track of time as they clung to each other in an embrace so tight, it left them breathless. The fabric on the shoulder of Jane’s gown became soaked with Elizabeth’s tears. Jane’s sobs were so loud that Mrs. Collins had to peek in the room to check if she was alright.

  Eventually, the two sisters quieted, exhausting their grief, and launched into feverish declarations of their love and whispered promises to write to each other at every possible occasion.

  Another bump in the road, or rather a jolt, shook Elizabeth out of her ruminations. Her forehead hit the window with such force that the glass rattled. Elizabeth was surprised it had not cracked. She whimpered and rubbed the sore place to soothe it. Cousin Collins jumped awake at once.