Too Close to Mr Darcy

by Claire Cartier

  While the young woman reminisced about her past exploits with her favorite horse, Elizabeth involuntarily patted her reticule, which was thick with an envelope she had stuck there before coming to Miss Anne’s rooms. It was Jane’s latest letter, which Elizabeth planned on rereading whenever her load of duties became lighter.

  She smiled at the thought of Jane and the news she had received from Hertfordshire. Although she had only skimmed the letter, Elizabeth had gleaned quite the unexpected developments from her sister’s words and tone.

  Although Jane had not expressly stated it, it was clear that her feelings for Mr. Bingley had reignited. What came as a surprise, however, was that it had been Mr. Bingley who had encouraged her sister’s fancy to bloom into something more serious. In all the instances that Jane had described, the gentleman had treated her with the respect and kindness afforded to a house guest and not to a lady’s companion.

  Elizabeth allowed herself a forbidden moment to daydream of what it might feel like to be treated in the same manner by Mr. Darcy. But had he not offered to have tea with her in the library? Had he not helped her procure the book from the library? Had he not assisted her when catastrophe struck on the unfortunate first walk with Miss Anne?

  No! She must stop this foolishness at once. She was not Jane and Mr. Darcy was definitely not the sweet, amicable, generous Mr. Bingley.

  “You must come with me,” Miss Anne said suddenly and twirled around to face Elizabeth.

  “What?” she asked, distracted. “Come where?”

  “Out riding, of course,” Miss Anne said and clapped her hands together, her face beaming. “Just as soon as we are finished with breakfast and I have visited with my cousin.”

  Elizabeth’s heart fell. It was a sensation she could not prevent or censor. Reading about Jane’s romantic bliss had given rise to the most absurd ideas in her own head. Ideas about Mr. Darcy mostly.

  Recently, something else had been occurring with punctuality in Miss Anne’s quarters. Mr. Darcy had started calling on his cousin daily, insisting that the two of them spent time together engaged in various activities. Miss Anne benevolently ascribed this to his guilt for not being attentive enough in the past.

  While she squirmed with anxiety before each of his visits, lest it was the one when he proposed to her, she confided in her companion that she had started to rather enjoy these visits. With the passing of time, the two cousins seemed to have developed a sort of renewed friendship that they had lacked in the years since their childhood. Seeing that Mr. Darcy was in no rush to ask for her hand in marriage, Miss Anne was finally able to relax in his company and allow herself to enjoy it.

  The unforeseen downside of these daily audiences was that Elizabeth was invariably there to chaperone the two cousins. She was not entirely opposed to the fact since at first she took little part in those meetings apart from sitting in a corner and embroidering while Mr. Darcy read to Anne or entertained her with stories from London.

  With time, however, it was not uncommon that the two cousins would run out of things to say to each other and long stretches of silence would make everyone in the room uncomfortable. Miss de Bourgh would then often call on Elizabeth for help and, magically, the conversation would once again blossom. Elizabeth’s quick wit and breadth of knowledge were not lost on either of the cousins. More and more frequently, Miss Anne would leave Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy to their lengthy discussions, simply nodding from her bed or even dozing off on several occasions.

  Now that she was forced to spend time in his presence daily, Elizabeth began to see more and more of his person to secretly admire. Horrified, she also noticed her already dangerous feelings for the man flare. Alone in bed at night, Elizabeth commanded her mind to stop picturing the man, but not only did the mere mention of his name make her spine tingle, she now dreamed of him regularly.

  Elizabeth knew the futility of her mind’s nighttime wanderings and struggled to dampen them. Unlike her mistress, she was certain that Mr. Darcy’s proposal would come any day now and that she would suffer despite herself.

  “But I cannot ride,” Elizabeth said at last when her silence had become too suspicious to perpetuate.

  “This is most odd. Have you not been taught by your father? It is the easiest skill to learn,” Miss Anne said with glowing eyes. “I assure you it would take less than a day to grasp the essential.”

  “Still, I do not trust myself enough to accompany you on a ride.”

  “I insist,” Miss Anne said. “You must at least try it before you discount my idea entirely. Just think of how much further we could go on horseback.”

  “We could just as well take a carriage to take us anywhere we like,” Elizabeth said with feeble hopes of dissuading her mistress. Horses had always scared her, not because the animals themselves seemed dangerous. She simply disliked the fact that she had no knowledge of them and no control over their capricious tempers.

  “A carriage ride is not nearly as exciting as a ride on horseback,” Miss Anne countered. “I will arrange for a stable boy to instruct you on the basic principles as soon as possible. Or better yet—”

  She paused and Elizabeth narrowed her eyes. What naughty suggestion had her mistress thought of next?

  “What is it?” she asked skeptically.

  “We could ask Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam to join us, so you could get your instruction from the very best. I am sure you have heard that my cousin is an excellent rider.”

  Against her will, Elizabeth’s cheeks glowed with heat.

  “No, please,” she begged. “I would not want to embarrass myself and spoil your ride at the same time. Perhaps you should simply leave me behind if you already have much more suitable company to come along.”

  “Nonsense! You are coming. It is an order,” Miss Anne said with a merry giggle.

  17

  Elizabeth helped Miss Anne lay out her best riding suit on the bed, then both took a step back to admire it. It was an exquisitely sewn habit consisting of a fitted dark green jacket over a long olive-colored trained skirt with hidden pockets. A small round hat made of cork and slate leather boots complemented the outfit.

  Anne sighed with delight as she picked up the jacket and brought it to her face. She inhaled the scent of the piece. Elizabeth supposed it smelled of nothing more than dust and dry lavender from being stored in her chest for too long but judging by her mistress’s eyes it might as well have smelled of lush pastures and summer breeze.

  “Come on!” Miss Anne said. “Help me into it. Then we will look for something suitable for you to wear. I suppose you have not brought your own riding suit.”

  “I have not,” Elizabeth said. She had never owned one in the first place. Her sister Jane was the only one of the Bennet girls who had learned how to ride at all and she had only the most modest of suits to wear on the rare occasions she took their father’s old mare out for a ride.

  “Do not fret,” Miss Anne said with a cheerful smile. “We seem to have similar figures and I am certain something of mine would fit you splendidly. It is important to ride in comfortable clothes to get the best out of the experience. You do not want to think of your stays digging into your ribcage or it might spoil the entire ride.”

  Miss Anne was enjoying herself immensely. She was clearly proud of her equestrian knowledge and shared it with exuberance. Her eyes glittered when she spoke of the sport and she showed every sign of impatience to go out and mount her Thunderclap already.

  Both girls were laughing heartily when a knock on the door interrupted them. A stern Lady Catherine peeked inside the room as if she were afraid to enter before she had determined the source of all the unlikely noise.

  “What is all this racket?” she asked, her frown deepening. “Anne, why are you up and about again? Have you not had enough exertion for one day? You stayed at the breakfast table longer than usual and must be exhausted.”

  Her eyes traveled to Elizabeth, who curtsied immediately to avoid the old lady’s glare
.

  “I only stayed longer, Mama, because I was exceptionally hungry this morning. I feel quite well. In fact, Miss Bennet and I are heading out to the stables.”

  “Whatever would you be seeking there?” Lady Catherine’s voice betrayed her genuine shock.

  “Why, horses, of course. We are going for a ride today.”

  Elizabeth’s nose wrinkled at the sight of Lady Catherine’s face transforming into a scowl.

  “A ride?” she boomed, making both young women cringe back. “In your condition? First, it is those ludicrous walks. Now, it is horseback. Do you not have the slightest care for your poor mother? Are you trying to send me to an early grave?”

  “But Mama,” Miss Anne said meekly, “I have been feeling so much better. I do believe the walks are—”

  “Nonsense! I do not want to hear any of it!” Lady Catherine shrieked. “Now, off to bed with you! For Heaven’s sake, how quickly you forget how I have nursed you back from near-death. Do you not think seeing you endure this agony has taken a toll on me? Ah, you senseless child. Whose idea was this in the first place? Miss Bennet’s?”

  She fixed Elizabeth with her hawk-like stare. Elizabeth longed to voice her opinion but she felt it would not help the situation much. The old woman was clearly clinging to the belief that her daughter was still in grave danger and would listen to no evidence to the contrary. It had always seemed rather suspicious to Elizabeth how little joy Lady Catherine derived from any good news about Miss Anne’s improved health.

  She opened her mouth to admit to suggesting the horse ride when Miss de Bourgh interrupted her.

  “It was my idea, Mama,” the young girl said sheepishly. “Miss Bennet is not too fond of horses but I managed to convince her to indulge my whim.”

  “A whim indeed!” Lady Catherine grumbled. “Miss Bennet, if you could leave us. I would like to have a private word with my daughter.”

  Miss Anne rushed to stand by Elizabeth’s side.

  “Wait! I… I…” she stuttered.

  “What now?” her mother said impatiently.

  “I am truly feeling a bit faint, Mama, now that you mentioned it. Miss Bennet, before you go, could you fix me my rhubarb, while I get into bed.”

  Elizabeth’s expression remained steady though she was certain her mistress was up to something. There was no way the ebullient girl from only a few minutes ago would suddenly develop symptoms of illness.

  “Certainly,” she said and shot Lady Catherine a sideways glance. The old woman appeared pleased enough to have disrupted their plans and was no longer watching them closely. She went to the windows to draw the curtains back and restore the gloom in the bedroom.

  “You must still go to the stables,” Miss Anne whispered while Elizabeth fumbled with her medicine jars.

  Elizabeth’s eyes grew large with a question.

  “Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam will be there, waiting for us already. You must tell them we shall postpone the ride for the afternoon. Mama takes her nap then.”

  Elizabeth started to gesticulate in protest but Lady Catherine turned and approached the bed at that moment so she resumed a servile expression.

  “It is another order,” Miss Anne said and furtively winked at Elizabeth.

  “What is?” Lady Catherine inquired, her temper milder now that she had seen her daughter to bed.

  “Oh, nothing,” Miss Anne said. “I was simply telling Miss Bennet to take an hour or two to herself while I rest. She rather deserves it.”

  Lady Catherine grunted but said nothing.

  “Miss Bennet?” Mr. Darcy exclaimed in surprise. “You are on your own? Where is Anne?”

  Despite herself, Elizabeth studied the gentleman’s face and voice for any sign of disappointment, but his usual aloof expression deterred her from gathering any clues.

  Stop it! she told herself. You are being a fool!

  She cleared her throat. Why was it that it always went noticeably dry in Mr. Darcy’s presence and her words came out jumbled? And that inconvenient heat that kept pestering her every time she was faced with the man!

  “Unfortunately, Miss de Bourgh would be unable to come.” She waited for Mr. Darcy’s face to fall, but it did no such thing, so she added nervously, “I am sorry to have kept you and Colonel Fitzwilliam waiting, but I came as soon as I was able.”

  “It is myself only,” Mr. Darcy said and looked back through the stable’s open door to a stall where a groom was saddling up a horse. He quickly returned his attention to Elizabeth.

  If she did not know better, she would have thought that his complexion had grown a shade pinker. He cleared his throat as well.

  “Has Anne’s health turned?” he asked.

  Elizabeth searched for a thoughtful way out of the question. She did not want to blame Lady Catherine for being short-sighted or plain stubborn.

  “No, thankfully,” she said. “Lady Catherine has asked to speak with her, so Miss de Bourgh asked me to tell you she hopes you can join her for a ride after luncheon. She apologizes for leading you on, but her mother’s visit has been rather unexpected.”

  Here she was, an accomplice in Miss Anne’s scheme! Elizabeth could only hope that Lady Catherine would not be waking from her nap too early this afternoon or that a loquacious servant wouldn’t mention to her later what a curious sight they had seen through an upstairs window.

  “Very well,” Mr. Darcy said evenly. Elizabeth had no way of determining whether he was annoyed by the unforeseen change of plans. She was just about to turn and head back to the house, when he added, as if to himself, “Too bad my horse is already saddled and aching to go for a ride.”

  Was she supposed to respond? Elizabeth was unsure of what to say. She had better leave. Mr. Darcy’s probing eyes settled on hers now and again and she found herself weakened and mute.

  “I better return in case I am needed,” she finally said, looking away at Rosings’ grand facade.

  “Since your mistress is already occupied, I find that unlikely,” Mr. Darcy said hurriedly. “Why don’t you join me for a ride as you are already here and I have the horses ready. It would be a shame to miss out on such pleasant weather.”

  If his offer had not come as unexpectedly as it had, Elizabeth would have had more time to consider its absurdity. First of all, the only other person in sight besides the two of them was a stable boy. Second, how improper was it for a man to ride out alone with his future fiance’s lady’s companion?

  “Me?” Elizabeth stuttered. “I… I am not very good at riding.”

  “Which makes this an excellent opportunity to hone your skills,” Mr. Darcy said. Was he enjoying himself torturing her again? Elizabeth was certain that her discomfort was evident.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she said, unconsciously wringing her hands. “I cannot ride at all. I have never mounted a horse.” Her voice had lowered to a murmur.

  The subtle morning breeze ruffled the few strands of hair that peeked out from under her bonnet. She breathed in. Rose, dewy grass, sun-drenched earth. The weather truly was glorious and it was all too tempting — to remain here, to speak to the man who appeared in her dreams over and over, to struggle with the reins of an unruly horse even. Yet, all her mind was doing was thinking of excuses why she should leave.

  And there were many.

  “I could teach you,” Mr. Darcy said, interrupting her thoughts.

  “I am not dressed for the occasion,” Elizabeth blurted out. “And I am a most hopeless student at anything physical. I would be wasting your time and I am sure you or your horse would derive no pleasure from the experience. I told Miss Anne—”

  “Miss Bennet?” Mr. Darcy said sharply.

  She gulped and pressed her lips together.

  “You are nervous,” he said and took a step towards her. Elizabeth felt her chest tighten and her face burn. She was, of course. Must the man embarrass her further by stating the obvious?

  “It is only natural,” he said softly. “I used to be so before my first
ride back when I was a boy. Excited, but also scared for my life. I had an excellent teacher to alleviate my fears, however, and I shall try my best to do the same for you.”

  “Why do you insist?” Elizabeth asked, finally gathering the strength to look the man straight in the eyes.

  Now it was Mr. Darcy’s turn to lose his eloquence.

  “Because…” he started, then ran his fingers through his hair and looked away. “I…”

  Elizabeth felt a shiver course through her.

  “He’s all set, Sir,” the stable boy called out as he stepped out of the stable, leading Mr. Darcy’s mount towards them. “He’s all huffing and puffing and ready to go.”

  “Thank you, David,” Mr. Darcy said and smiled at the boy, clearly relieved he had been rescued. Then he turned to Elizabeth. “So, Miss Bennet? What do you say?”

  18

  The four riders set out at an easy trot towards the duck pond. Impatient, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy waved their riding crops to urge their mounts into a gallop.

  “Ladies, we will wait for you there,” Colonel Fitzwilliam called and raced his cousin towards the shimmering waters of the pond.

  Miss Anne tightened her grip on the reins to slow her Thunderclap so it went in step with Elizabeth’s docile mare. It had been specifically selected for her to give her the least trouble.

  The animal’s pliant character did little to appease Elizabeth’s terror, however. She felt stiff from straining all her muscles to their limits to remain stable on the saddle. She still thought she had rushed into something she was not yet ready for just to please her mistress.

  “See?” Miss Anne said cheerfully. “You are not as hopeless. I would think you have had recent practice. I myself do not feel that confident after so much time away from the saddle.”

  Elizabeth gave her a crooked smile. Though definitely enjoyable, her morning lesson had provided little experience to count presently. If she managed to remain in the saddle, she would have achieved more than her current level of confidence warranted.