The Heatwave

by Katerina Diamond

  ‘You going to tell on me?’ Tim said in Jasmine’s direction, without actually looking at her.

  ‘Not if you give me some.’ She took a swig of her drink. She wanted to loosen up and be interesting; she wanted to be funny and stop thinking for just five seconds. Jasmine had never smoked pot before. She had smoked cigarettes but never a whole one.

  ‘Well, all right.’ Tim smiled at Jasmine this time and the heaviness she was feeling disappeared for a moment. His eyes were lighter than before, bluer somehow, and he had a crinkle in his brow. His smile was something else entirely; he had perfect teeth and somehow you saw every single one when he smiled, like a cartoon smile. When he wasn’t smiling his lips were always slightly parted and you could see his clenched teeth underneath. The good thing about having Felicity there was that Tim was so distracted by her that Jasmine could just stare at him as much as she wanted to, and he didn’t notice.

  ‘Is that what you were doing when I saw you at the fair? Getting this?’ Jasmine asked.

  ‘You got me,’ he said. She detected a hint of anger. Because she’d brought up the fair?

  She leaned back on her chair and let her eyes wander over every inch of him that she could see. His skin glistened with the heat of the evening sun. His T-shirt hugged his torso and she could see his muscle definition underneath. She could also see the chain he wore around his neck going into his T-shirt and a pendant of some kind under the surface. It was still so warm and now her drink was too. Jasmine stood up and went inside to pour herself another vodka and Coke, but this time she put some ice in it. She needed to cool herself down and she felt like a third wheel anyway.

  ‘You OK?’ Tim asked. She turned around to find he was standing behind her.

  ‘Do you always sneak around like that?’

  ‘You have no idea,’ he said with a hint of menace. This was the first time all evening Jasmine had felt like he was focused on her and it made her uncomfortable. She hunched forward a little to make her chest seem smaller. He swayed a little, leaning forward. She could feel his breath against her forehead. She glanced up and their eyes connected for a moment. She had never been very good at reading the opposite sex, her history with Mr Morrell had proved that, but looking at Tim right now, there was an anger in him that scared her, even when he was being nice.

  He seemed surprised at the way she looked at him. He pulled back and looked down apologetically. Maybe he sensed her fear, or maybe it was something else, but he stepped away, the connection broken.

  ‘Can I get you something?’ she asked, eager for him to go back outside. There was a part of her that just wanted to be the wallflower.

  ‘Just checking you’re OK. Your parents will kill me if anything happens to you.’ He reverted to the nice Tim he was in front of her parents, pretending to be someone he wasn’t. She knew there was something else under there, though. Something inside him that he wanted to stay hidden; she had just seen a flicker of it.

  ‘You’re not the babysitter and I’m not a baby.’

  ‘Hey, I didn’t say that. Just pace yourself, OK? You’re knocking that vodka back pretty quickly.’

  ‘What do you think my parents would do if I told them you were getting me high in the garden?’

  He thought for a moment and then before he spoke, he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. ‘I trust you not to say anything, just like I didn’t say anything about you and that teacher the night of the fair.’

  ‘Do you like Felicity?’

  ‘She’s funny. I like her fine.’

  Jasmine wasn’t sure what he meant, but yet again she felt awkward being alone with him and thought asking any more questions would seem strange. She wasn’t drunk enough yet to be confrontational.

  The cold drink was welcome, and Jasmine drank faster than before. They went back outside and Tim lit the joint, puffing on it before handing it to Jasmine. She started to cough instantly, and a big grin broke out on his face again.

  ‘What? Did I do it wrong?’ Jasmine asked coughing, embarrassed.

  ‘It works better if you cough.’ He took the joint from her and handed it straight to Felicity. He looked at Jasmine with concern as she continued to cough. She felt like such a child. She drank down the vodka and watched him draw on the joint again. The drunker she got the harder she found it to look away from his lips.

  It was still warm outside as the light slowly faded. It was getting late and Jasmine could feel herself crossing some kind of boundary that her parents never even thought to set for her, but she did know it was there. She was guilty of betraying her parents’ trust. She could see that Tim wasn’t interested in her; his focus was almost entirely on Felicity and in some ways Jasmine was almost grateful because she would have no idea what to do if he did like her. She saw Felicity leaning forward, her long, slick, black hair pulled over one exposed shoulder, and even Jasmine could see how sexy she looked. Tim took a long draw from the joint and then leaned forward and locked lips with Felicity. She breathed the second-hand smoke in from his mouth and Jasmine was destroyed. She needed to get out of there because a tiny part of her wanted to cry. When Tim pulled away, he looked at Jasmine and she saw that he was nervous of her reaction to what he had just done, checking for her disapproval. Felicity sank back in her chair, oblivious to how much she had just hurt her friend. Jasmine didn’t blame her, she blamed herself. As Felicity exhaled, smoke billowing from her lips, Jasmine stood up and went inside the house. She just had to accept it. She had to accept that he didn’t think of her the way he thought of Felicity. But she didn’t have to watch.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Back in her room Jasmine let the tears come. She felt so utterly betrayed. Torn between her feelings of concern for Felicity’s safety and anger that Tim would do this. She thought he was different in some way. The way he had been with her had been different, hadn’t it? She looked at the spare mattress on the floor, which was empty. Felicity was still outside with him. She wanted to tell her to come to bed, but on the other hand she just wanted to be alone. Her head swirled a little from either the tiny amount of pot she had smoked or maybe the quarter bottle of vodka. Jasmine wasn’t sure she wanted to listen to Felicity telling her how his lips felt. She lay on the bed and listened to them talking outside. It was mostly Felicity doing the talking but that stopped after a while and Jasmine looked outside. Felicity was straddling him on the reclining garden chair and kissing him. As though he knew Jasmine was looking, his eyes opened as they kissed and he looked upwards towards Jasmine’s bedroom window, eyes locked on Jasmine just before he closed them again. As if he wanted her to watch, wanted her to see what he was doing. What game was he playing? She pulled the curtains closed and moved her pillow to the other end of the bed so she no longer had to listen. She couldn’t bear the thought of hearing them having sex. Felicity had had sex with two people before, another thing she had over Jasmine. She dreaded speaking to Felicity again, knowing how obsessive she was, knowing she would talk about nothing else, knowing that she would have to pretend she was fine with it.

  Over an hour passed before Felicity finally entered the room. She giggled and tripped before flopping on the mattress on the floor. Jasmine pretended to be asleep.

  ‘Oh my God,’ Felicity said, before squealing into the pillow. Jasmine tried to ignore her, but she pulled on her arm.

  ‘What is it?’ Jasmine snapped.

  ‘I think I’m in love.’

  ‘You met him like eight hours ago. You’re not in love.’

  ‘He’s such a good kisser.’

  Jasmine was glad Felicity couldn’t see her face.

  ‘Can we go to sleep? I’m tired and my head hurts. Tell me in the morning.’

  ‘Are you angry with me?’ Felicity said, obvious concern in her voice.

  Felicity was many things but she wasn’t mean; sometimes she just didn’t think beyond what was going on in her own head.

  ‘No, I just feel a bit like I got ditched, that’s all. We were supposed to be
hanging out together tonight.’

  ‘Sorry. I should have thought.’

  ‘I’m tired, Felicity. I don’t really want to listen to any of your sex stories.’

  ‘OK, I won’t tell you then. But wow, Jazz. There’s something really weird about him, right?’ Felicity said with a breathless enthusiasm.

  ‘What do you mean, weird?’ Jasmine asked, now interested in what Felicity had to say.

  ‘After you left, we kissed for a while, which was hot.’

  ‘I thought you weren’t going to tell me.’

  ‘No, wait. So I tried to … do more … and he wasn’t having it. Grabbed my wrist and told me I shouldn’t throw myself away like that. What does that even mean?’

  ‘He said no?’ Jasmine asked. That didn’t fit with what she’d seen from the window.

  ‘I swear to God. Then he gave me another beer and I’m almost certain I saw him crying. Maybe he was just super stoned or something but after that he got up and punched the wall then he went inside his little hut.’

  ‘I think it’s probably better if you don’t stay tomorrow night,’ Jasmine said, unsure what Tim’s behaviour could mean. She knew she couldn’t go through this again tomorrow.

  ‘Are you kidding?’

  ‘I’m not kidding. Now go to sleep.’ Jasmine wished she could make her leave now. She was angry that she let any of this happen. She was thirsty, so she got up and left the room without explanation as Felicity called out after her. She walked into the kitchen, where Tim was standing at the sink washing the glasses they’d drank out of earlier. He was shirtless, and Jasmine’s eyes flitted across his back to his tattoo before grabbing a glass off the draining board and leaning across him to get a large drink of water.

  ‘I thought you went to sleep,’ he said.

  ‘I’m thirsty and I needed to lock up. Wouldn’t want anyone breaking in and killing me in my sleep.’ It occurred to Jasmine that she was more annoyed with Tim than she was with Felicity. Why couldn’t it be Jasmine? Why was it never her? She thought maybe she was disappointed that he was lured into Felicity’s trap. Maybe she would think more of him if he had even resisted slightly. Her preconceptions about the person he was had faded and all she saw was another man trying to get off. But then she remembered seeing them on the lounger and the way he’d looked up at her. Was he trying to make her jealous? Is that why he wouldn’t sleep with Felicity?

  ‘You had better get going. I need to lock the doors,’ Jasmine said sharply, unwilling to play his game.

  ‘Have I upset you?’ he asked, clearly knowing the answer already.

  ‘What would I be upset about?’ she said as she stared at him. He seemed to be full of regret. Up until now he had given her a wide berth, but she thought he knew he had made her feel bad. Maybe that was his intention all along. For the first time he shifted his gaze first, as though he could no longer stand her disapproval.

  ‘You know, you’re only sixteen. That’s a problem.’

  ‘You think a lot of yourself, don’t you?’

  ‘You think I don’t notice the way you look at me? I’m flattered but it’s never going to happen. You’re just a kid.’

  ‘Felicity’s the same age as me.’

  ‘That’s different. You wouldn’t understand.’

  ‘You know if I told my parents what you did tonight, they would throw you out. You aren’t the person they think you are.’

  ‘Are you the person they think you are?’ The way he said it sounded like an insult, as though he had seen some darkness inside her that she wasn’t aware of yet.

  ‘Can you get out of the house now? I want to lock the door.’

  Jasmine hated him for tonight but still felt this strange connection to him. He talked to her like she was the only person in the world. She saw a different side to him now, different to the way he behaved with Felicity earlier, more honest. Jasmine’s expression was stone cold and he decided against challenging her and turned to leave the kitchen. This time she looked at the tattoo on his back closely. It was a dagger with some kind of inscription on it, though she couldn’t quite read it.

  He turned back to her and grabbed her wrist. ‘We’ve all got different sides to us, we’ve all got secrets, Jasmine. You think your parents don’t have secrets from you? You’re wrong. Do you even know where they are this weekend? Do you know what they are doing?’ he hissed.

  ‘You’re hurting me!’ She pulled at her wrist and he let go.

  He snatched his T-shirt off the lawn and walked back into the guest house. She locked the house. She considered telling her parents what he had done tonight, knowing they would get rid of him. She wouldn’t do that though, not yet. There were still so many questions and she needed the answers. Maybe he would open up to her or maybe he would make a mistake. She couldn’t have him just go and never get the answers.

  Jasmine went back upstairs with her water and got back into bed. Felicity was asleep already; she’d drunk more than Jasmine, always did. Jasmine lay back and closed her eyes. She saw herself straddled across Tim, those blue eyes drilling into her as she moved slowly forward, kissing that perfect mouth of his. Why was he watching her when he was with Felicity? What exactly was it he was trying to do? Chess had never been a game she had played very well. Her father had tried to teach her time and again but she had always found it quite tedious. This reminded her of those lessons. Frank had always told her to think two moves ahead and focus on the endgame.

  Chapter Thirty

  When Jasmine woke up the next morning, Felicity was already dressed with her bag packed. Jasmine felt annoyed that this was probably going to come between them.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me that you liked him?’ Felicity asked.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jasmine said, happy to keep her friend in the dark about her suspicions. She was also a bit jealous if she was honest, but the overriding emotion was fear that she was putting her friend at risk. Whatever game Tim was playing, the rules kept changing and she didn’t want anyone else to get hurt.

  ‘I never would have got off with him if I had known.’

  The truth was that every time Jasmine had expressed any interest in a boy it was less than twenty-four hours before Felicity had got her claws into him. As if they were made more desirable by Jasmine’s affection. If she had told her she liked Tim, Felicity probably would have just got with him sooner.

  ‘It’s not that big a deal.’

  ‘Are we going to fall out over this?’ Felicity said, looking concerned.

  ‘No. We’re cool,’ Jasmine lied.

  ‘I promise you I was telling the truth when I said that we didn’t have sex. I would have, but we didn’t. He wouldn’t go any further than kissing. When I tried to do anything else, he would move my hands.’

  ‘Don’t try and make me feel better about this. I’ll be fine, Felicity.’

  Felicity’s phone buzzed and she looked at it.

  ‘Mum’s outside, I’ve got to go. I promise you all we did was kiss.’

  Jasmine stood up and hugged her. She wasn’t annoyed at her really; she was who she was. A car horn beeped and Felicity rolled her eyes and then left the room. Moments later she heard the front door close and Felicity was gone. Now Jasmine really was alone. She didn’t feel like eating and so she just opened the window and lay back on the bed. The warm sticky air from outside filled her room. She put some music on and drifted back into an uneasy sleep.

  It was almost lunchtime the next time she woke up. She still felt anxious and disappointed, but she was also a little hungry so she went down into the kitchen. There was no sign of Tim anywhere, which was a relief, but she could see that he had been up already. The garden was marked up and he had begun digging a hole for a resistance pool. After her dad’s surgery, the doctor had told him that swimming would be a good way to stay fit. They didn’t have room in the old garden for anything like this but at their new house there was space for a modest pool. There was a half-drunk glass of water resting on the garden wall
so she knew he was around somewhere. Jasmine opened the fridge and looked at the contents; nothing really appealed to her so she grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl instead. There was a knock on the French doors and she looked up to see Tim standing outside, looking down at his feet. That familiar feeling washed over her like an uninvited wave. Something about the way he stood made her swallow hard. She didn’t want to open the door, but she did anyway.

  ‘What is it?’ she said bluntly; she didn’t really want to talk to him. She was still angry, still disappointed.

  ‘Just checking that you’re OK.’

  ‘Felicity left if that’s who you’re looking for.’

  ‘It isn’t. I was looking for you.’

  ‘Well, I’m fine; I don’t need you to check up on me.’

  ‘Your dad called and asked me to check in on you. He said he called the house earlier and you didn’t answer.’

  ‘He wouldn’t have asked you to check on me if he knew what kind of guy you are,’ Jasmine said, surprised by the words that came out of her mouth. She was never confrontational but there was something about his demeanour that she couldn’t lie to. She could say what she liked to him. Especially now that she wasn’t concerned with impressing him anymore.

  ‘I’m not a bad person. You’ve got me all wrong,’ he said with a heavy sigh.

  ‘Why her? Why not me? You said you saw the way I look at you which makes me think you were trying to hurt my feelings.’

  ‘I like you more than I like her,’ he said, confusing her.

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘It means yesterday, with Felicity, didn’t mean anything. Is that all you want from me? A quick fumble in the garden?’