Mistletoe Memories (It's All About the Mistletoe Book 5)

by Laura Ann

  “Esther?” Britta’s voice snapped Esther out of her meditative state and she leapt to her feet.

  “Brit!” She immediately wrapped her arms around her friend, ignoring the two men with her, knowing that looking at them now would only make her more nervous. Esther pulled back and smiled at Britta. “You look gorgeous, Sweetie! It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other.”

  Britta was smiling wide. “Seriously. We need to plan more girl trips.”

  Esther smiled and nodded.

  Britta glanced over her shoulder. “This is my cousin, Cameron.”

  Her cousin? Why didn’t she just say that in the first place? Why tell me he was like a brother to her? Doesn’t matter. This is it. Act cool. You’re a new woman tonight. Esther turned and smiled at the handsome redhead. “Hi, I’m Esther. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand, which Cameron shook with a crooked grin.

  “No, no. The pleasure is all mine.” He brought Esther’s hand to his lips, giving the back a light kiss.

  Esther immediately pulled back, unnerved by his familiarity and bold flirting. And Britta thought we would be perfect together? What?

  Britta rolled her eyes. “Knock it off, Cam, Esther already has a date for the night.”

  Esther frowned. “Cameron isn’t my date? Then who—” Her eyes darted to the other man standing a little further behind Britta and the room began to spin. “Elijah?” she breathed as she swayed in place.

  “Whoa, there,” Britta grabbed Esther’s upper arms and helped Esther sit down. “Just breathe, Essie. That’s it, deep breaths.”

  Esther’s eyes hadn’t left the light ones that had spent so many years in her dreams. Her dreams hadn’t done him credit. The beauty of his looks had developed into something strong and masculine and entirely out of Esther’s league.

  “Hello, Esther,” he said, his voice far lower and richer than Esther had remembered.

  Her stomach quivered and she put a hand against it. “H-hi,” she managed to squeak out.

  Slowly, Elijah stepped forward and Britta scooted back. When he had reached Esther, he crouched down at her side. They continued to stare at each other and Esther didn’t know how to react. She had never expected him to be here and his appearance sent her resolve to step out of her comfort zone running for its life.

  “Why are you here?” Esther whispered, still searching his gaze. She felt as if she had been in the desert for too long and was now given an unlimited supply of water. She couldn’t look away and she couldn’t get enough. She wanted to touch his smooth skin and run her fingers through the curls in his hair. She wanted to feel the stubble on his chin against her fingertips and see if his lips were still as soft and strong as she remembered, but she did none of that. She simply sat and stared in awe.

  Slowly, warily, Elijah lifted a hand and brushed Esther’s cheek with his knuckles.

  She closed her eyes, releasing a single tear which his thumb wiped away. Her whole body felt like it was on fire, and yet she wanted more.

  “I’m here for you,” Elijah finally answered.

  That comment finally snapped Esther out of her daze and she jerked back. “What?” She scrambled out of the chair and put a little distance between her and the boy she had loved. Her knees were shaking so hard, she was sure she would fall back down, but she refused to give in. “What exactly do you mean?”

  Elijah’s eyes never left hers as he slowly stood from where he had been squatting. “Exactly what I said. I came here for you.”

  “You... you...” Esther gulped in air and turned to Britta who had backed far away. “What is he saying, Brit? You said you had a friend to set me up with.” Tears muddied her vision and she blinked hard. “You lied to me? Why would you do that?”

  “Eli is my friend. And besides, it’s for your own good, Es. You have to know that,” Britta offered with a shake of her head. “Come on, Cameron, let’s go in.”

  Esther’s jaw dropped as she watched one of her best friends walk away after dropping that bomb. Betrayal hit her hard in the chest and she had to concentrate to keep from hyperventilating.

  ELIJAH WATCHED THE myriad of emotions fly over Esther’s stunning face. However, it was the pain and anger that hit him the hardest. Her reaction to him hadn’t been quite the sweet reunion he had hoped for, but he’d known there was a distinct possibility she wouldn’t be happy he had come.

  She looked breathtaking. Her green dress brought out the color of her eyes, highlighting their unique coloring and drawing attention to the womanly figure she had gained over the years. Her hair was pinned up, tempting him to touch the long column of her neck and leave a kiss under her ear. Her lips were full and red and her cheeks flushed pink.

  He was surprised by the fact that his draw to her was different from what it had been before... stronger and yet more... adult. He wasn’t a fumbling teenage boy anymore and he could feel it with every tether reaching for the shocked woman across from him.

  He raised a hand in her direction. “Will you join me?” he asked softly, doing his best not to cause her to bolt. Esther had never done well with confrontation and surprises, and right now he had dropped a doozy in her lap.

  “Why are you here?” she asked through a clenched jaw, her eyes heavy with tears.

  Elijah’s heart ached as he watched her struggle, but he hadn’t earned the right to touch her yet. “I already told you... for you.”

  “But you left... for ten years, Elijah. Why would you come back now?”

  He winced slightly at her hit, but didn’t back down. “I could also say you let me go ten years ago, but where would that get us, Es? The blame game isn’t going to help us here.” He took a step in her direction and she countered. “The fact is, I’m here now and I want to talk.”

  “Ma’am?” a young voice interrupted them.

  Both Eli and Esther turned to see a bellhop from the hotel eyeing the two of them warily. “Is he bothering you?” the young man asked Esther.

  Eli held in the smirk that wanted to break free at the thought of the skinny teenage boy doing anything to get rid of him, but he held it in. He wasn’t trying to cause a scene, he simply wanted a chance to talk to Esther.

  Eli turned and raised an eyebrow at Esther, who was still as a statue.

  “Ma’am?” the teen asked again.

  “No,” she finally stated curtly. “We were just headed into the ball. But thank you for your concern.”

  The boy continued to eye Eli warily, but he nodded and stepped away. Once he was gone, Eli offered his hand to Esther once more.

  She clutched a small purse to her chest and shook her head. Without saying a word, she stepped up to grab a coat off the chair she had been sitting in, then headed toward the ballroom. Elijah took a deep breath for fortitude and followed in her wake.

  Once they were inside, he had to blink several times to let his eyes adjust to the darkened room.

  “Oh, wow,” Esther breathed. “Camille really outdid herself.” The room was overflowing with greenery and holidays decorations. No corner had been left untouched.

  “Yeah... I heard she was in charge of all this,” Elijah murmured in return.

  Esther hummed in reply. “In more ways than one,” she said in a low voice. Eli guessed he wasn’t supposed to hear that, but since Britta had filled him in on the whole of the plan, he knew exactly what Esther was referring to.

  “Here, let me take that for you.” He lifted the wool coat off Esther’s arm and began to walk over to the coat area. “Be right back.”

  He half expected Esther to have left by the time he got back, but she was still standing where he had left to her. Once more he offered his hand. “Ready?”

  Esther pinched her lips together as she stared at his hand, then looked up at him. “I don’t think we should hold hands,” she said in a shaky voice.

  Eli took a couple of breaths before he answered. “Britta explained your guys’ plan to me. I promised to fulfill it to the best of my ability, so I’m no
t just your date, Es, I’m your fake boyfriend for the night.”

  Esther seemed to deflate right before his eyes. “So you’re just here playing a part? You only came to help us get back at Camille?” Before he could respond she threw back her shoulders and thrust her chin in the air. “What a stupid thing to say. Of course that’s why you’re here. I’m sorry I implied otherwise. I must have gotten caught up in the moment.”

  Elijah shook his head and stepped up into her space, forcing Esther to tilt her head back to look at him. “I’m only going to say this once more, so please listen.” He brought up his hand and starting at her shoulder, lightly ran it down her arm until he reached her fingers. Once there, he lightly grabbed them and brought her hand up between them. “I couldn’t care less about Camille or this ball. I’m here for you. Britta told me about the situation and we decided it was a good excuse for me to make my move, but nothing about this is fake.”

  Slowly, he brought Esther’s hand to his chest and pressed her palm to his heart. “I’m playing the fake boyfriend tonight, with the hope that by the end of the night, you’ll want it to be real just as much as I do.”

  He watched her swallow hard and could feel the shaking in her hand he had pressed against him. The spot where her hand rested was almost uncomfortable in how much it burned, but he never wanted it to stop. He wanted to feel. For too long he had been numb, shut away because of their break-up, and now that he’d had a taste of real life again, he wanted more. Britta was right. We have to make this right. I can’t keep going like I was.

  “I don’t know how to answer that,” Esther said softly. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

  Elijah nodded even though the words hurt. “We’ve got all night to find out, then.” Intertwining their fingers, he led her further into the room and straight to the dance floor. Staying at the edge of the wooden squares, he pulled her into his body and slipped his arms around her. The song was low and sultry, a perfect mood for their current situation. Leaning down until his lips were just beside her ear he whispered, “Dance with me.”

  He felt her take a shaky breath before her head nodded jerkily. “Okay.”

  Keeping her close, Elijah rested his chin against the side of her head and began to rock them back and forth. It took only moments for Esther’s form to melt into his, reminding Elijah of all the dances they had had over the years. And yet this is so much better. Unable to help himself, he wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and smiled when her head fell onto his shoulder. Exactly as it should be.

  CHAPTER 3

  This can’t be real. Esther just knew she had to have stepped into one of her nightly dreams. Her head was on Elijah’s shoulder, and even though it was broader and thicker than it was before, the sensation of being in his arms still evoked the same feelings it had so many years ago.

  She sighed and snuggled in even closer when his arms tightened around her. Everything else faded to the background—the music, the people, the ball, nothing existed except for her and the man she had been yearning for for nearly a decade.

  His breath on her ear caused goosebumps to ripple down the side of her neck. “I missed you,” he murmured.

  Esther stiffened. What am I doing? She jerked upright. This isn’t real! At the end of the night he’s going to leave, just like he did before. Then where will I be? “Sorry,” she said, ignoring his earlier comment, “I shouldn’t have... I, uh, shouldn’t have—”

  “Yes, you should have,” he interrupted. “We both know that right here is where you belong.”

  Esther took a shuddering breath. “Elijah, I need you to stop,” she whispered forcefully. “You can’t just waltz back into my life and expect things to be hunky dory. At the end of the night you’re going to leave me, just like you did before. Do you have any idea how that’s going to make me feel? How difficult it was for me to even come here tonight? I was supposed to be learning how to move on, not getting sucked back into the past.”

  Elijah’s face was fierce as he scowled down at her. “Are you saying you wish someone else was here holding you right now?”

  “Yes! No.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t know.” Esther stopped moving and stepped out of his arms, forcing herself to look him in the eye. “All I know is that I have been broken for ten years and I thought I would never recover. The first time I found myself willing to try, you show up and bring everything back with you.” She swallowed hard. “I guess if nothing else, it shows me that I’ll never be whole.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “You own too much of me, Elijah, you always have.”

  Still scowling, Elijah grabbed her hand and dragged Esther off the dance floor and toward the wall of the room where they could talk without disturbing others.

  Esther opened her mouth to finish explaining herself, but quickly found it occupied when Elijah cupped the back of her neck and pressed his mouth to hers. The shock of the kiss caused Esther to freeze for a moment, but the familiarity of Elijah’s lips quickly melted her. Gripping the lapels of his jacket, she stepped in and participated wholly in the exchange.

  Groaning at her approval, Elijah slid his hand from her neck, down her back and pulled her in tight.

  This is what home feels like, Esther sighed mentally. How can I ever move on from this? I’m completely ruined.

  Much to Esther’s dismay, Elijah pulled back just far enough to speak. “Can’t you feel it, Es? Can’t you see that we were meant to be together? Both of us have been fools, walking around missing half of our souls for far too long. We need each other.”

  The sting of tears hit Esther’s eyes, and she cursed her tear ducts for the thousandth time that night. “But how will we do that?” she argued back. “You still live in Cotton Springs and I’m here. We both have jobs, careers... lives.” She shook her head. “No.” She stepped back. “We’re just setting ourselves up for the inevitable pain once again. You’ll leave and I’ll stay here. Just like we did before.”

  Esther dropped her eyes to the floor, unable to bear seeing the pain in Elijah’s expression at her words. Truth was, it had nearly ripped her heart to shreds to say them. I’m going to strangle Britta when this is all over. I don’t know what she thought this would accomplish, but it won’t work.

  “So you’re not even willing to try?”

  Esther looked up. “Try what? A long-distance relationship? Only seeing you once a month? Watching you walk away over and over again? What kind of life is that? Do you have any idea how painful it is to watch your back as you leave me?”

  “Do you have any idea how painful it was to know that you weren’t willing to fight for us? You weren’t willing to compromise at all? I was the one willing to work things out, willing to stay together until we could find a way to make things permanent. You were the one who broke things off.”

  “To save my sanity!” Esther hissed, stepping into his space. “You were off conquering the world, while I was here rotting away in this place a little more each day. How would your plan have been any different from what already happened?”

  “Because it meant we would have had a future to look forward to,” he growled. “I couldn’t afford to pay for us to get married when we graduated, not to mention you weren’t willing to leave. You chose this town over me and how has that worked out for you?”

  Esther paused and bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “It hasn’t,” she finally admitted, the fight draining from her. “It hasn’t worked out at all. I’ve been miserable and lonely and stuck. Does that make you happy? Do you feel better knowing that I have regretted my choice every day since the moment you left? Did you come tonight to make sure that I wasn’t moving on and living a happy life? Well, congratulations, because I’m not. A small piece of me has died every day you’ve been gone. Mission accomplished.”

  “Don’t put words in my mouth, Es. I know you’re hurting, I’m hurting too. In fact—”

  “I never thought I’d see the day,” a tenor voice interrupted their intense
conversation. “Way to take advantage of the mistletoe, Son!”

  Esther glanced up involuntarily, taking in the fact that they were indeed under the mistletoe, then looked over. “Hello, Pastor Larsen,” she said with a forced smile. “Mrs. Larsen.” Esther nodded at the elderly woman. “It’s good to see you tonight.”

  “And you, Dear.” Mrs. Larsen reached and took Esther’s hand, patting it in a matronly way. Her eyes darted between Esther and her date. “This is the best surprise of the evening!” Mrs. Larsen smiled widely.

  “What is?” Esther asked dumbly, trying to catch up with the conversation when her mind was still on the unspoken words between her and Elijah.

  “You two, of course,” Pastor Larsen chuckled, hanging his thumbs in his belt loops. “I always thought someday I’d be officiating your wedding, but then to everyone’s surprise, you two separated.” He winked. “Looks like all that has changed, huh? Always knew you two would come to your senses.”

  Esther opened her mouth to tell the pastor that it wasn’t what it looked like, but Elijah jumped in first.

  “WE’RE WORKING ON IT,” Eli said with a chuckle. He put his arm around Esther and tucked her into his side, grinning wider when she huffed. However, it was the fact that she didn’t pull away that gave him hope.

  She wants this just as much as I do, so why is she fighting it so hard? Why won’t she give us a chance?

  He tried to tell himself to be patient. Esther had never been one to leap without looking. Her quiet, shy personality made her an overthinker, not a risk taker. Truth be told he wasn’t a huge risk taker either, but he also wasn’t afraid to step forward and hope for the best once in a while.

  “Well, we look forward to hearing the official word,” Pastor Larsen said encouragingly. “It’ll go right along with the announcement from Grace as well.”

  “What announcement?” Esther asked with a frown.

  “Dear, maybe you shouldn’t go around giving away Grace’s news,” Mrs. Larsen scolded gently. “If her friends don’t even know, then perhaps we should keep it quiet for a bit longer.”