by Roya Carmen
But he didn't really want to dig into his past affairs. They wouldn't help him forget. None of them measured up to Kirsten. He needed someone new. It would be easy enough, he thought as he lounged on his sectional. It was just a matter of dressing up and going to his favorite club, flashing a smile or two, buying a girl a drink.
All he knew was that he desperately needed to do something. As soon as possible.
Kirsten was surprised when the white tulips were delivered. For a fraction of a second, she had hoped they were from Ethan. But she knew better. They had both agreed to end things. She was only a little disappointed when she read the card and realized they were from Cole, and a part of her was happy, touched… He was such a gentleman. The bouquet was simple and the vase was very interesting. It appeared to be recycled from tree materials. She centered it on the kitchen table, all the while smiling like an idiot.
"My, my, my…” her mother quipped. "Someone is smitten."
"Aren't they lovely?"
"Beautiful," her mother agreed, reading the small white card. "I'm not crazy about the vase though. Doesn't quite fit in with my décor."
"You're not touching it, Mother."
They both laughed. "Do you have another date?"
"I'm not sure," she told her mother. "I'll call him to thank him. And I'm sure we'll set something up. This is just what I need right now."
"I'm happy for you, sweetie."
Me too, Kirsten thought. Perhaps she was finally on the right track.
Ethan nursed a scotch as he sat at the bar. He didn't want to be there. For the first time in recent years, he was not looking forward to the thrill of the chase. And often it didn't feel much like a chase. He felt rather like the prey. Woman these days were so sexually adventurous and independent. They knew exactly what they wanted, and often that would be his 'services'. He had acquired a certain set of 'skills' which suited him well when it came to seducing the ladies. He'd always enjoyed the buzz of the night, the excitement and anticipation, the mystery of who he would take home.
But tonight, he might as well have been reading a quarterly report. It wasn't a lack of beautiful women. The place was packed and everyone was looking as fine as ever. This particular club catered to the well-off, and often very beautiful people. The drinks were crazy expensive but the ambiance was worth it.
Despite being surrounded by beautiful women, all he could think about was Kirsten. Her sweet smile, her insanely beautiful eyes, and that hair. Her little mannerisms clouded his brain, how she would snort a little when she laughed hard, or how she straightened her shoulders and threw her nose up when she was angry. And the sounds she made when she came under his touch. He couldn't even go there, lest he drive himself crazy.
He shook his head and spotted a gorgeous woman to his left. She shot him a perfect smile as soon as he made eye contact. She was absolute perfection, exactly the type of woman he'd usually be all over in less than a second. She was alone, sipping a green cocktail. She tilted her head and shot him a look, and then pulled her gaze away. And then again. She was flirting, without a word. Ethan knew this but he wasn't sure he wanted to take the bait. He couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going on with him. He was acting like an idiot as far as he was concerned. Here was this gorgeous babe who was clearly interested, and he was hesitating.
So he did what he did best. He slid over and closed the distance between them. He noticed her cocktail was low. He flashed her his charismatic smile. "Can I buy you another?" he asked. "What will you have?"
She smiled wide. "I wouldn't mind another appletini."
"Done," he said with a lingering gaze. She was here alone and dressed like a high-end escort. He was sure she wasn’t. There was something about her… She lacked the cockiness, the all-business manner. She was beautiful and charming, but she was no pro. "I'm Ethan, by the way."
She extended her manicured hand. "I'm Natasha."
He smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Natasha," he offered. "That's a beautiful name." Admittedly, he was not at his most original, but he was a little uninspired. Nevertheless, it seemed to work. It was so easy.
She grinned like a school girl. "Thank you."
She had an exotic look about her, which he very much liked. "What's the story behind your name?" he asked. This question was always a good ice-breaker.
She laughed. "I'm not sure there is a story," she told him. "My mother just liked the name, I suppose. I don't think it's a traditional Columbian name," she went on. "My mother is Columbian."
"That's cool," he offered. "So have you ever been to Columbia?" Ethan had been many places but never to Columbia. He was genuinely fascinated. He loved learning about new cultures and countries.
And so the conversation started, flowing smoothly. He found Natasha not only beautiful, but also intelligent and occasionally funny. As he ordered her another drink, he concluded that she might be the perfect woman to help him forget all about Kirsten Beals.
Kirsten's week was not starting off on the right track. She was swamped with work. On the one hand, it was good to keep busy. Less time to think about Ethan. But on the other, she was overwhelmed. Not only did she have to do her regular duties, but she also had to wrinkle out some details and odds and ends for the upcoming fundraiser for the library.
She dreaded the event. She would see Logan there and she really didn't want to. Funny enough though, he had barely entered her mind these past few weeks. Her thoughts had been consumed by Ethan. She had, in essence, filled the hole in her heart with Ethan, and now she was trying to fill the hole caused by Ethan with Cole.
As she shuffled some papers around, she adjusted her glasses and gazed into the distance. The stacks of books became a blurry rainbow of colors. She pondered her situation. Perhaps, she should just be alone for a while and not try to replace anybody with anyone else, she mused. She contemplated being on her own for a while, independent. Starting something with Cole might be just the worst thing she could do right now, she realized – she wasn't in the right state of mind to start a new relationship – she had to completely get over Ethan before she could do that.
Besides, she had absolutely no time for men at this moment. She would be working extra hours for the next week or two. And just the thought of dating exhausted her. She would be better off with a bowl of popcorn and Gilmore Girls, not more drama. Fictional TV drama. Yes. But real-life drama. No. She'd had enough of that lately.
And perhaps, she would work on her current writing project, her modern day retelling of Jane's Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
Ethan worked out his stress, really going hard at the gym. He was trying the keep his thoughts at bay. Work, Natasha, Kirsten… especially Kirsten. He was going out with Natasha tonight and he was working off some nervous energy. Part of him didn't really want to go out with Natasha, but he knew it was what he had to do. Some meaningless casual sex might just do the trick.
Cole and Kirsten met up at a quaint coffee shop near his place. Over lattés, they talked about their jobs, their passions, and... life. He was so easy to talk to. She told him all about her retelling of Jane Austen. He seemed intrigued. He told her all about a modern art exposition he was participating in, coming up in two weeks, and she promised she'd be there. They also discussed art and literature. They had so much in common, it was surprising. She told him all about Logan, and he'd shared his own recent break-up. It seemed, they were both trying to get over people. He asked her about Ethan. He remembered him from the gastro pub.
"So you two ever had a thing?" he asked, curious.
"Uh..." she hesitated a bit. How much should she tell him? She decided to downplay it. "He's just my next door neighbor, some tech wiz. He's a little arrogant."
Cole smiled, and she couldn't help but notice he had a very nice smile. "Yep, I kind of got that impression."
She laughed. "That obvious?"
His face grew serious. "I'm surprised he's just a neighbor. For some reason, I thought he was an old boyfriend. I kind of got tha
t vibe."
"What would make you say that?"
He shrugged. "I don't know... the energy between you two."
Energy. That was oddly enough, an appropriate word to describe their relationship, Kirsten mused. It seemed they both lit up when they saw each other. And the sex was electric. She sighed, trying to forget him. Why were they talking about Ethan Fox?
"So tell me all about your work," she said, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Do you work from your loft?"
"Yep," he told her, a spark in his eyes. She could tell he was one of those rare lucky people who get to do what they love every day. "I have a pretty large space," he went on. "It's mostly studio. The kitchen is small and the living area is practically non-existent, and my bed is tucked in a corner."
"It must be a mess," she chimed in with a hint of a smile. "I can only imagine."
He laughed. "Yes... it's pretty crazy," he confessed. "But I try to be organized, 'try' being the operative word here."
She laughed. She enjoyed this casual chit chat. The dynamic between them was wonderful. No drama. No games. "What are you working on at the moment?"
"I'm working on a series for a building downtown, which houses a bunch of tech companies," he told her. "It's a series of eight pieces, and the theme is nature coming together with technology, and how it is possible for the two to be harmonious."
Kirsten was impressed, listening to him. He seemed so passionate. She tried to picture his sculptures and she was at a loss. "What medium to you work with?"
"Mostly wire and metal," he replied. "My style is very distinct. No one is doing quite what I'm doing at the moment. I think that's why I've had success."
"That and the fact that you're probably crazy talented."
He smiled at her wide. "I could show you."
“Show me?”
"Yes, if you have time," he ventured, looking a little on edge. "You could come to my studio. I could show you what I'm currently working on."
Kirsten was quite excited at the prospect of visiting his studio, but part of her thought it might be a little too early in their relationship to be going to his place. They hadn't even kissed yet. And she had decided she would rather just remain friends for the moment, and not get involved with anyone. "Well, I don't know..." she hesitated, an internal struggle weighing on her. She really wanted to go.
"C'mon," he insisted. "It'll be fun."
She was acting too uptight again. She had promised herself she would try to loosen up a little. "Sure, why not," she finally agreed.
Cole's studio was crazy cool, lots of light coming from both the large floor-to-ceiling garage door windows and overhanging light fixtures. The whole space had a very industrial vibe. "This is amazing," she offered, wide-eyed. She couldn't help but think that Cole was cool with a capital C.
"Thanks... it's an old converted mechanics garage. Which is why it's so grungy."
She laughed, eyeing the large wire and metal sculpture smack in the middle of the space. A tree, surrounded by rings. It was quite beautiful.
"It works for me," he went on, walking leisurely through the space. "It's easy to move around the sculptures, being on ground level like this with large garage door access. The moving van can pull directly up."
She studied the door, the overcast sky reflecting in. "Don't you lack privacy?” she asked. She couldn't imagine living like this, so open to the world. She enjoyed being on the 22nd floor in a loft building, sheltered from others.
He reached to the side, pulled on a loop of thick rope, and large heavy black curtains slid across the doors, transforming the space from bright and airy to dark, and dungeon-y.
She smiled. "Cool."
He grabbed her hand. "Come," he urged. "I'll give you the grand tour."
She laughed. "I think I can see everything from right here." And she could. From where she was standing, she could see the tiny kitchen with its old 1970s appliances, and the cozy living area furnished with what looked like flea market finds. The overall effect was very warm.
"You make a good point," he conceded. "So that is the kitchen and living room. And here," he added as he pulled her to the nook tucked in at the back, "is the bathroom and bedroom."
She peeked in the bathroom, a small space with a very old-looking shower and claw-footed tub. This was no fancy reproduction, but the real thing. Subway tiles covered the walls and gave the cozy space a vintage feel. "I like it."
And she turned to see the disheveled queen size mattress on the floor covered with white linens.
"Sorry, I never make my bed," he admitted.
"We're very different, you and I," she pointed out. "I always make my bed."
He shot her a playful smile. "Oh... you're one of those," he teased. "I see..."
He had inched nearer and was closing in on her, two gorgeous steely-blue eyes honing in on her. She knew that look. Dark cozy space, privacy, unmade bed. A man and a woman.
She knew exactly what he was thinking.
10
I feel like doing something crazy
"You can make my bed, if the sight of it is you crazy," Cole teased as he pressed the palm of his hand against her jawline, tilting her head to his. The man was truly beautiful and impossibly sexy. Any woman would practically kill to be standing where she was right now.
But she wasn't feeling it... at all. What was wrong with her? She had vowed to be more wild and free, but she was failing miserably. Perhaps, she just needed a bit more time. Perhaps he was moving a little too fast. They hadn't even kissed yet, and he was clearly thinking about sex. But then again, she and Ethan had never even kissed when they first had sex, and he had taken her from behind on the back of a sofa in a fevered quickie, but somehow, even that felt less gratuitous than this. Cole pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes as he coaxed her tongue with his. He pressed his arms closer around her, pulling her in.
She tore away gently, and he released her with an expression of complete confusion. Cole didn't seem like the kind of man who got rejected often, which was probably why he looked so shocked. "I'm sorry," she offered. "It's just... this is all moving a little too fast."
He backed away. "I see..."
"It's not that I don't like you," she tried to explain. "It's just that I just got out of a serious long-term relationship, and I'm not quite ready."
He nodded but she could see the disappointment on his face. "I understand,” he said. "I just got out of a relationship too."
"I just think we should take it slowly," she went on. "I don't want you to be a rebound." She now knew from experience that rebound flings were never a good idea. A person is way too emotional and vulnerable after a break-up.
"If I give you a little more time," he ventured softly. "You think you and I..."
She smiled at him. "Definitely."
"Then I can wait. I really like you, Kirsten."
He was so sweet. Why wasn't she crazy about him yet? "You know what..." She suddenly remembered. "I have a fundraiser in a few weeks, and I'm still looking for a date," she told him. “Would you be interested?”
He smiled wide, grabbing her hand. "I would love to."
He led her back to the central studio space. And she admired his work-in-progress again. "This is truly beautiful. It looks done."
"It almost is," he told her. "Just a few finishing touches. I'm a perfectionist."
She smiled. "Me too."
Ethan studied Natasha as she fiddled, searching for something in her bejeweled clutch. She pulled out a lip gloss and applied it meticulously, all the while staring at him with an expression that could only be read as I'm a siren of seduction, and I know it. She knew exactly what she was doing. She was also perfection, long hair meticulously styled, manicured red-tipped fingers, a designer curve-hugging red dress, a few inches shorter than appropriate.
She was the kind of woman he'd normally have in his bed before ten o’clock. But there was something about her that was different. She had a little more class than mo
st and he, for some reason, suspected that she would never sleep with him on the first date. And oddly enough, he wasn't irked by this fact. He was fine with it. He preferred to wait too.
As pleasant as she was, he did not feel that spark, that energy, that stomach churning anticipation he'd always felt when he was with Kirsten. Kirsten... He really had to forget about her.
They made small-talk as they enjoyed their meals; filet mignon for him and shrimp and pasta for her. She was clearly very smart. She’d been an English lit major at Stanford. And her family was well off. Her parents had made a fortune in telecommunications in the late 90s. When she spoke of her family, her eyes lit up, and Ethan imagined he'd get along just fine with her father. This was the kind of woman he should have been looking to settle down with, the kind of woman his father would approve of. She would be the perfect wife, the perfect mother.
But the thing was... She didn't stir him up. And how would that hold up in a life-long marriage? Because for Ethan, marriage wasn't something you took lightly. If he ever chose to get married, he'd be in it for the long haul. For that reason, he had to choose wisely. And despite the fact that he had always told himself he would never settle down, he was actually getting a little bored with the clubbing scene. All the women started to look and sound like each other. They had truly become interchangeable.
As he drove Natasha back to her place, he could only think of Kirsten. What was she doing? Was she with Cole? How serious were those two? Had they had sex yet? He grasped the steering wheel hard. The thought made him slightly angry. But then he told himself it's what he wanted for her. He wanted her to go out there and discover her sexuality, apply what he'd taught her, not that he'd taught her very much. He wanted her to be free and wild. Because after all, she truly was a friend. And he wanted her to be happy.