Joy in the Journey

by Diane Greenwood Muir

  Cassidy looked up at Polly and reached her arms up.

  "Why are you so angry, little one?" Polly asked. Instead of picking Cassidy up, she knelt beside her and snagged an action figure. "Why are you throwing the toys? You know better."

  Cassidy thrust out her lower lip, then sent a look with daggers toward Cat.

  "Whoa," Polly said. "You don't get to pull that attitude with anyone in this house, much less Cat. Especially if you can't figure out how to tell us what's wrong."

  "Play," Cassidy said.

  "What does that mean?"

  Cassidy grabbed the figure from Polly and flung it, narrowly missing Cat's leg.

  "No," Polly snapped and swatted the little girl's fingers. "You do not get to throw things at people. You know better."

  At the swat, Cassidy burst into wails of anger.

  "Come with me," Polly said. She scooped her daughter up and held on against Cassidy's angry flailing. "No idea?" she asked Cat.

  "Nothing. I came into the room and asked if she wanted to play and the next thing I knew she was angry."

  "Got it. I'll take care of her."

  "I can," Cat said. "I intended to make this week easier on you, not more difficult."

  "We're a team around here." Polly squeezed Cassidy tighter as the child attempted to wriggle out of her arms. This one was as much work as hefting those bales of hay at the barn had been. "Keep the boys out of the living room for a while."

  Cat scurried to catch up as Polly strode across the foyer, then opened the doors and ducked back while Cassidy yowled and cried. She followed Polly through the hallway and closed the doors to the living room once they were inside.

  Polly put Cassidy down on a sofa and held on when she tried to bolt. "No," Polly said. "Sit still. We aren't going anywhere and no one is coming in here. It's just you and me and we will stay here until you can contain your anger."

  Sitting beside the child, while still keeping a hand on her, Polly scooted close and wrapped her arms around Cassidy. There was nothing more she could do. Screaming and yelling would only escalate the problem. She'd made that mistake early on in this journey. She could not imagine the things that Cassidy had experienced that had brought her to this point. While Cassidy wailed, Polly closed her eyes and hummed, holding her daughter close against her chest. If a cat's purrs could calm Polly at night, maybe this would help. She was willing to try anything. Whether it was the humming, the tight grip or just that Cassidy finally ran out of steam, the child slowly quieted, her sobs giving way to quiet tears. Throughout the ordeal, she'd ended up moving up and onto Polly's lap.

  "Well," Polly said. "Are we nearly finished with this?"

  Cassidy nodded, her head nestled against Polly's shoulder.

  "Were you just mad at the world or was there something specific that made you angry this morning?"

  Since Cassidy had such trouble expressing herself, there were rarely good answers. It could have been any number of things, from one of the boys ignoring an unspoken request or maybe she'd bumped her leg against something and it hurt.

  "We'll sit here for a while until you calm down completely and then I want you to apologize to Cat. Can you say the word 'sorry?'"

  Cassidy looked at her, then put her face back against Polly's shoulder.

  Letting her stay that way for a few moments wouldn’t hurt, Polly leaned her head back. There were many lessons that she'd discovered her kids had yet to be taught, but apologizing and saying thank you were two that seemed to take the most time to learn.

  "Say the word, Cassidy. I know you can. I want to hear it."

  Nothing.

  "Honey, we are going to sit here until I hear you say the word out loud and then we are going to stand in front of Cat until you say it to her. Now, I had plans for the two of us this morning, but I can cancel them if you’re unable to be cooperative." Polly absolutely hated this kind of bribery, but the problem was, she knew it would motivate the little girl.

  Cassidy looked up at her with curiosity.

  "I'm not telling you what those plans are and I have no problem changing them. The most important thing is that you learn that when you’ve hurt someone, you apologize for it. You should apologize to me and then you will absolutely apologize to Cat. Do you understand?"

  Cassidy nodded and squeaked out a "Sorry."

  "Thank you," Polly said. She kissed the tear-streaked face and brushed wetness away from the little round cheeks. "That was so nice." Holding Cassidy close, she shut her eyes again and breathed slowly, in and out, in and out. When she opened her eyes again, Cassidy was staring at her.

  "You try it."

  Cassidy frowned.

  "Close your eyes," Polly said. She waited and when Cassidy obeyed, she went on. "We're going to take in a long breath while I count to three. Don't let it out. Hold it for just a second. Ready?"

  Cassidy nodded.

  "Breathe in very slowly. One. Two. Three. Hold it. Now, very slowly, let it out with me. One. Two. Three." Polly didn't take long between the counts because she knew that Cassidy barely understood what she was asking her to do. But maybe this would be something they could work on together. "Keep your eyes closed and we'll try it again. Breathe in. One. Two. Three. Hold it. Slowly let it out. One. Two. Three."

  Polly squeezed her. "Open your eyes."

  Cassidy looked at her.

  "When you think about being mad or losing control, you and I are going to start working to slow everything down. We're going to learn to breathe together just like that. Do you want to try that?"

  Ever obedient when she wasn't being a horror, Cassidy nodded.

  "Okay, what about apologizing to Cat. Are you ready for that yet?"

  In answer, Cassidy pushed her face against Polly's shoulder again.

  "That's okay," Polly said, leaning her head on Cassidy's. "We can sit here for a few more minutes. Close your eyes and we'll breathe together again."

  With every breath in and out, Cassidy further relaxed in Polly's arms. If this truly worked, it would be a miracle. But it worked right now and that was all that was important. They sat in silence broken only by Polly's quiet counting. Finally, Cassidy sat up. "Sorry?"

  "Are you ready to talk to Cat?"

  She nodded and hopped to the floor.

  Polly had been so relaxed that she wasn't ready to get up, but she hauled herself to her feet, reached down to take Cassidy's hand, and the two of them walked out into the hallway. When they got to the foyer, it was empty, so Polly led the little girl across the floor to the kitchen. "You and I are coming back in here to pick up every one of the toys you threw after we're done with this," Polly said. "Do you understand that?"

  Cassidy nodded and Polly opened the door into the kitchen.

  At their entrance, Cat turned from the counter where she'd been working.

  "Cassidy has something to say to you," Polly said.

  When Cassidy stood still beside Polly, Cat came around the island and bent down, putting her arms out. "What did you want to say, honey?"

  Polly gave Cassidy a nudge and the little girl walked forward, stopping halfway between the two. She turned back to Polly, who nodded, then looked at Cat. "Sorry."

  "Thank you," Cat said. "I appreciate that. Can I have a hug?"

  Cassidy slowly walked forward and let Cat hug her but didn't return it.

  "We're going to clean up her mess in the foyer," Polly said. "We'll be back."

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Polly woke up Tuesday morning feeling more normal than she had in a while. Having all her kids at home was amazing. She no longer felt like she was in charge of the entire world.

  Taking Agnes to coffee yesterday had been a hoot. The woman had something to say about everything they encountered, and then she had plenty to say about her own commentary. She'd kept Cassidy entertained, no small feat for a woman without her own bag of tricks. The little girl was entranced by something with the woman, whether it was her voice, her small stature, her bright white hair, Polly
didn't know.

  They'd returned that afternoon to a house filled with people. Rebecca's friends were there — Dierdre, Libby, Kayla, and Cilla. The kids from across the street had come over to play in the basement, leaving Cat and Hayden to keep an eye on everyone.

  After her big morning, Cassidy was ready for a nap, though it took some doing to drag her away from the activity. That gave Polly time to work in the office. Jessie was back at the shop and had sent eighteen applications and resumes for Polly to look through. She'd culled ten immediately. They weren't at all what Henry was looking for. Two resumes she forwarded to Jeff and Stephanie for possible consideration at either Sycamore House or the hotel. That left six that she wanted Henry to see before she contacted them to meet for an interview. She would do the initial interviews, allowing Henry freedom before he needed to get involved.

  He and Heath had gotten home late again last night, but since the family was under no pressure to get to bed early, they were able to spend time with the boys. Hayden had purchased more pieces for the racing set and a few new cars. Polly and Cat agreed that he was living out his own childhood fantasy with these boys. The racetrack in the foyer continued to grow, and everyone, both kids and adults, boys and girls, had a blast sending cars ripping around the room.

  This morning she was headed back to Sycamore House. Jeff and Eliseo had been conducting interviews for a second custodian who would help with things inside the building, with issues at the hotel, and in the future, at the bed and breakfast. With the number of classes, seminars, and other events happening during the week at Sycamore House, setup and teardown was more than Eliseo could handle, especially if he wanted to spend any time with the animals and later this spring, the gardens.

  With Jason in school, Eliseo had been managing on his own, even though Noah helped one day during the week and most Saturday mornings. Eliseo could do the work himself, but Polly was keeping an eye out for another young person who might need a mentor. He'd done such amazing things for Jason. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Eliseo had fallen in love with Jason's mother, but that was another story.

  She smiled at the thought of that relationship. Neither Sylvie nor Eliseo was comfortable with how public their relationship had become. If they could live together on the moon, away from the curious looks and questions that people in Bellingwood always had, they would have been ecstatic. Sylvie wasn’t effusive in her affection. Not for her boys, not for her friends, and certainly not for her boyfriend. She loved well and sometimes she'd surprise a person with the way she reached out, but more often than not, her outward shows of affection were done by making gifts of food and sharing what little time she had available. She'd raised two wonderful boys, but they'd all been through their share of problems. Polly figured that was par for the course with kids. Until you lived with them, you had no idea what unholy terrors they could be.

  Eliseo still had difficulty believing that someone as astounding as Sylvie Donovan would love him. While some of that probably had to do with the terrible scars he carried, both physically and emotionally, his sister had told Polly that he'd never had a great deal of confidence with women. He'd spent more time with his family's animals than anything else. Once he entered the army, he didn't have time to play those games and was content with doing his job well. The accident that scarred him also separated him from the world. After that, the fear of ridicule for his scars kept him locked away. When he'd first come to work at Sycamore House, he begged Polly and Jeff to let him work for a month without asking about his background. He was certain they would reject him because his scars would frighten their customers. Instead, he'd become part of the family. That was due to the four big Percherons who claimed him as their own. They saw beyond his scarred body to the heart of a warrior.

  Sylvie saw that man, too. After life with Anthony Donovan, she'd quit trusting men, choosing instead to focus on the needs of her two little boys. Once Jason and Andrew got old enough to fend for themselves, Sylvie discovered that there were good men, not abusive tyrants, who wanted to spend time with her.

  Eliseo had been smitten the first time he laid eyes on Sylvie. He'd probably never understand the gift that he had been to her. It took time for her to let go of her own fears, but once she did, the two found happiness together. She understood the daily battles Eliseo fought and didn't attempt to do anything for him but love him. Even then, it was love that he could take from her without question. She never pushed, she never demanded. And he offered the same thing to her.

  Anthony Donovan, her ex-husband, still disrupted Sylvie's life. If there was one person who could knock her feet out from under Sylvie, it was that man. She hated that she still reacted with fear when he was around, but years of abuse weren't easily set aside. Eliseo would have stepped between her and Anthony at the drop of a hat, but that wasn't what Sylvie needed. She needed to stand strong on her own, to prove to herself that she was no longer a victim. He stood beside her, offering the warrior's strength.

  Polly felt herself get emotional. She'd never expected those two to figure it out, but my goodness, they were perfect for each other. Sylvie's boys, Jason and Andrew, loved Eliseo and were happy that he was in their lives.

  She glanced at the clock and realized it was time to get moving. She hoped that finding a second custodian for Sycamore House wouldn't be as difficult as finding the first one had been.

  No one was in the kitchen as she headed for the back porch. This morning, she would take Cat's car and leave the Suburban. She sent a quick text to Cat that she was leaving, grabbed the keys, and headed out.

  ~~~

  Eliseo and Jeff were ready to hire this new man, but they wanted Polly to meet him first. She found this whole concept hilarious. First Henry, now these two. Like she was some great judge of character. If they liked the guy, bring him on board, for heaven's sake. Not that she minded being involved. In fact, she loved that they wanted her input. She was afraid that someday Sycamore Enterprises would be so big she wouldn’t recognize the employees who came and went. Sycamore Catering was filled with part-time and temporary employees that she rarely got to know personally. It wouldn’t be easy as the distance between her and so many of her employees grew.

  Polly and Jeff were sitting at the small table in his office, waiting for Eliseo. She looked down at the resume he’d set in front of her to make sure she had the name anchored in her mind. Scott Luther. As she scanned the resume, she tried to capture as much information as possible to get an idea of the man, but it was going to take more than this.

  Jeff slid a cup of coffee across the table. "Are you about ready?"

  "Thank you." Polly held it up to her lips, blew across the top and took a tiny sip. Way too hot. "Any time. First, tell me what it is about him that you liked so much."

  He frowned. "A hard worker. He's not afraid of digging in and doing any type of work we have. He says he can fix anything, but electricity is a little out of his league. He isn't a fan of plumbing issues, but he can do it."

  "That's good," Polly said with a chuckle. Between kids and drunken idiots, they'd had their share of plugged toilets. It was never pleasant. She’d quit being surprised at what people felt they could flush down a toilet. Whether it was here or at Sycamore Inn, plumbing problems were a regular issue. Did those people not live in homes with indoor plumbing? Right now, Eliseo handled most of the maintenance issues at both locations, with help from Roger Carlson, who worked part-time for Sycamore Enterprises and part-time at Elva Johnson’s stables. He and his daughter were still learning how to be part of the world after the abuse they’d suffered at his wife’s hands. He was a good man and very handy.

  Jeff sent a quick text. "I just let Eliseo know to bring him in any time. We talked about where to let Scott set up a base. If you don't mind, we're going to let him have that room in the basement to do with as he likes. We have an extra desk and a comfortable chair. The rugs are still on the floor. It's a nice room."

  "That will be a big office."

 
; He shrugged. "I don't know where else we'd put him. He won't be in the office very often, I don't imagine, but he'll need a place to keep work orders and an office to meet with contractors and outside help."

  "Where does Eliseo keep all of those things?"

  "In filing cabinets in that basement room," Jeff said with a grin. "He's always kind of used it that way. I suppose we should put two desks down there."

  "Do you really believe Eliseo will use it if Scott is there?"

  "I … I … I don't know. Eliseo is in and out of the building all day long. I don't pay attention to where he spends his time. He gets the work done and then he's off getting more work done."

  "No big deal. You guys work it out." At a light rap on the door frame, she looked up.

  Eliseo looked in. "You two ready for us?"

  "Come on in," Jeff said.

  Polly wasn't quite prepared for the big bear of a man who followed Eliseo in. He was well over six feet tall and he was thick. He wore a neatly trimmed heavy beard, and she was completely struck by his smile. Bright blue eyes glinted with laughter and full, ruddy cheeks peeked out between a pair of glasses and the beard. She found herself standing without thinking.

  "Hello," she said to him, her hand out.

  He took it in his two meaty paws … that's all she could think when she saw them … and then released it. "Nice to meet you, ma'am." He tipped his head to her.

  She sat back down and glanced at his resume again. Did he live in Bellingwood? There is no possible way she would have missed seeing this man around town. No, his home address was in Boone. That made more sense.

  "Have a seat," Jeff said, gesturing to the chair between him and Eliseo. "Scott, we wanted you to meet Ms. Giller. As the owner of Sycamore Enterprises, she takes an active role in overseeing our activities."

  Scott nodded. "You have some nice properties in town, Ms. Giller. I drove up to see the future site of the bed and breakfast your husband is building. That's your husband, Mr. Sturtz, right?"

  "It is," she said. "He did the renovation of this place, too. That's how we met."