The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

by T. Smollett

  The two young Gentlemen display their talents for Gallantry, in thecourse of which they are involved in a ludicrous circumstance ofDistress, and afterwards take Vengeance on the Author of their Mishap.

  Meanwhile our hero and his new friend, together with honest JackHatchway, made daily excursions into the country, visited the gentlemenin the neighbourhood, and frequently accompanied them to the chase;all three being exceedingly caressed on account of their talents, whichcould accommodate themselves with great facility to the tempers andturns of their entertainers. The lieutenant was a droll in his way,Peregrine possessed a great fund of sprightliness and good-humour, andGodfrey, among his other qualifications already recited, sang a mostexcellent song; so that the company of this triumvirate was courtedin all parties, whether male or female: and if the hearts of ouryoung gentlemen had not been pre-engaged, they would have met withopportunities in abundance of displaying their address in the art oflove: not but that they gave loose to their gallantry without muchinteresting their affections, and amused themselves with littleintrigues, which, in the opinion of a man of pleasure, do not affect hisfidelity to the acknowledged sovereign of his soul.

  In the midst of these amusements, our hero received an intimation fromhis sister, that she should be overjoyed to meet him next day, at fiveo'clock in the afternoon, at the house of her nurse, who lived in acottage hard by her father's habitation, she being debarred from allopportunity of seeing him in any other place by the severity of hermother, who suspected her inclination. He accordingly obeyed thesummons, and went at the time appointed to the place of rendezvous,where he met this affectionate young lady, who when he entered the room,ran towards him with all the eagerness of transport, flung her armsabout his neck, and shed a flood of tears in his bosom before shecould utter one word, except a repetition of My dear, dear brother! Heembraced her with all the piety of fraternal tenderness, wept over herin his turn, assured her that this was one of the happiest moments ofhis life, and kindly thanked her for having resisted the example, anddisobeyed the injunctions, of his mother's unnatural aversion.

  He was ravished to find, by her conversation, that she possessed agreat share of sensibility and prudent reflection; for she lamented theinfatuation of her parents with the most filial regret, and expressedsuch abhorrence and concern at the villainous disposition of her youngerbrother as a humane sister may be supposed to have entertained. He madeher acquainted with all the circumstances of his own fortune; and, as hesupposed she spent her time very disagreeably at home, among characterswhich must be shockingly interesting, professed a desire of removing herinto some other sphere, where she could live with more tranquility andsatisfaction.

  She objected to this proposal as an expedient that would infalliblysubject her to the implacable resentment of her mother, whose favour andaffection she at present enjoyed but in a very inconsiderable degree;and they had canvassed divers schemes of corresponding for the future,when the voice of Mrs. Pickle was heard at the door. Miss Julia (thatwas the young lady's name), finding herself betrayed, was seized witha violent agitation of fear; and Peregrine scarce had time to encourageher with a promise of protection, before the door of the apartment beingflung open, this irreconcilable parent rushed in, and, with a furiousaspect, flew directly at her trembling daughter, when, the soninterposing, received the first discharge of her fury.

  Her eyes gleamed with all the rage of indignation, which choked up herutterance, and seemed to convulse her whole frame: she twisted her lefthand in his hair, and with the other buffeted him about the face tillthe blood gushed from his nostrils and mouth; while he defended hissister from the cruelty of Gam, who assaulted her from another quarter,seeing his brother engaged. This attack lasted several minutes withgreat violence, till at length Peregrine, finding himself in danger ofbeing overpowered if he should remain any longer on the defensive, laidhis brother on his back; then he disentangled his mother's hand from hisown hair, and, having pushed her gently out of the room, bolted the dooron the inside; finally, turning to Gam, he threw him out at the window,among a parcel of hogs that fed under it. By this time Julia was almostquite distracted with terror: she knew she had offended beyond all hopeof forgiveness, and from that moment considered herself as an exile fromher father's house: in vain did her brother strive to console herwith fresh protestations of love and protection; she counted herselfextremely miserable in being obliged to endure the eternal resentmentof a parent with whom she had hitherto lived; and dreaded the censure ofthe world, which, from her mother's misrepresentation, she was sensiblewould condemn her unheard. That she might not, however, neglect anymeans in her power of averting this storm, she resolved to appease, ifpossible, her mother's wrath with humiliation, and even appeal to theinfluence of her father, weak as it was, before she would despairof being forgiven. But the good lady spared her this unnecessaryapplication, by telling her, through the keyhole, that she must neverexpect to come within her father's door again; for, from that hour, sherenounced her as unworthy of her affection and regard. Julia, weepingbitterly, endeavoured to soften the rigour of this sentence by the mostsubmissive and reasonable remonstrances; but as, in her vindication, sheof necessity espoused her elder brother's cause, her endeavours, insteadof soothing, served only to exasperate her mother to a higher pitch ofindignation, which discharged itself in invectives against Peregrine,whom she reviled with the epithets of a worthless, abandoned reprobate.

  The youth, hearing these unjust aspersions, trembled with resentmentthrough every limb, assuring the upbraider that he considered her as anobject of compassion; "for without all doubt," said he, "your diabolicalrancour must be severely punished by the thorns of your own conscience,which this very instant taxes you with the malice and falsehood of yourreproaches. As for my sister, I bless God that you have not been ableto infect her with your unnatural prejudice, which, because she is toojust, too virtuous, too humane to imbibe, you reject her as an alien toyour blood, and turn her out unprovided into a barbarous world. But eventhere your vicious purpose shall be defeated: that same Providence, thatscreened me from the cruelty of your hate, shall extend its protectionto her, until I shall find it convenient to assert by law that right ofmaintenance which Nature, it seems, hath bestowed upon us in vain. Inthe mean time, you will enjoy the satisfaction of paying an undividedattention to that darling son, whose amiable qualities have so longengaged and engrossed your love and esteem."

  This freedom of expostulation exalted his mother's ire to mere frenzy:she cursed him with the bitterest imprecations, and raved like abedlamite at the door, which she attempted to burst open. Her effortswere seconded by her favourite son, who denounced vengeance againstPeregrine, and made furious assaults against the lock, which resistedall their applications, until our hero espying his friends Gauntlet andPipes stepping over a stile that stood about a furlong from the window,called them to his assistance: giving them to understand how he wasbesieged, he desired they would keep off his mother, that he might themore easily secure his sister Julia's retreat. The young soldier enteredaccordingly, and, posting, himself between Mrs. Pickle and the door,gave the signal to his friend, who, lifting up his sister in his arms,carried her safe without the clutches of this she-dragon, while Pipes,with his cudgel, kept young master at bay.

  The mother, being thus deprived of her prey, sprang upon Gauntlet likea lioness robbed of her whelps; and he must have suffered sorely in theflesh, had he not prevented her mischievous intent by seizing both herwrists, and so keeping her at due distance. In attempting to disengageherself from his grasp, she struggled with such exertion, and sufferedsuch agony of passion at the same time, that she actually fell intoa severe fit, during which she was put to bed, and the confederatesretired without further molestation.

  In the mean time, Peregrine was not a little perplexed about thedisposal of his sister, whom he had rescued. He could not endure thethoughts of saddling the commodore with a new expense; and he was afraidof undertaking the charge of Julia, without his benefactor's advice
anddirection: for the present, however, he carried her to the house of agentleman in the neighbourhood, whose lady was her godmother, where shewas received with great tenderness and condolence; and he purposed toinquire for some creditable house, where she might be genteelly boardedin his absence; resolving to maintain her from the savings of his ownallowance, which he thought might very well bear such reduction. Butthis intention was frustrated by the publication of the whole affair,which was divulged next day, and soon reached the ears of Trunnion,who chid his godson for having concealed the adventure; and, with theapprobation of his wife, ordered him to bring Julia forthwith to thegarrison. The young gentleman, with tears of gratitude in his eyes,explained his design of maintaining her at his own expense, andearnestly begged that he might not be deprived of that satisfaction. Buthis uncle was deaf to all his entreaties, and insisted upon her livingin the garrison, though for no other reason than that of being companyto her aunt, who, he observed, was lost for want of conversation.

  Julia was accordingly brought home, and settled under the tuition ofMrs. Trunnion, who, whatever face she might put on the matter, couldhave dispensed with the society of her niece, though she was not withouthope of gratifying her pique to Mrs. Pickle, by the intelligence shewould receive from the daughter of that lady's economy and domesticbehaviour. The mother herself seemed conscious of this advantage whichher sister-in-law had now gained over her, being as much chagrined atthe news of Julia's reception in the garrison, as if she had heard ofher own husband's death. She even tortured her invention to propagatecalumnies against the reputation of her own daughter, whom she slanderedin all companies; she exclaimed against the commodore as an oldruffian, who spirited up rebellion among her children, and imputed thehospitality of his wife, in countenancing them, to nothing else but herinveterate enmity to their mother, whom they had disobliged. She nowinsisted, in the most peremptory terms, upon her husband's renouncingall commerce with the old lad of the castle and his adherents; and Mr.Gamaliel, having by this time contracted other friendships, readilysubmitted to her will; nay, even refused to communicate with thecommodore one night, when they happened to meet by accident at thepublic-house.

  CHAPTER XXXII.