Love's Journey

by Carrie Carr

  Lex gave her a tired smile. "Don't trust me, huh?"

  Amanda stopped what she was doing. "No. I mean, yes. What I meant was--"

  "It's okay." Lex gathered the rest of the tools, tossed them into a wooden tool caddy, and carried it over to the small room where the grain was stored. "You ready?" she asked, as she turned around and closed the door. She grabbed her brown duster from the wall of an empty stall and slipped into it.

  "Sure." Amanda stepped along side of her and grasped her hand. She could see the weariness in Lex's stride. "How about a nice hot soak in the tub after dinner? Then maybe a massage?"

  Lex allowed Amanda to lead her from the barn. "You don't have to pamper me, sweetheart. I know you're probably tired, too."

  Amanda snuggled close to her partner and inhaled happily. "Are you trying to spoil my fun?"

  "Umm, no. Just don't breathe too deeply. I've been working all day and don't exactly smell like flowers."

  "I happen to like the way you smell." Amanda jumped when long fingers raked across her ribs through the open coat she was wearing. "Aaaack! Stop that."

  "Stop what?" Lex used her free hand to adjust the hat on her head. "Damn, this wind is getting worse." She pulled Amanda up the back steps and pushed her through the door. "Get inside before you catch cold."

  "Thanks, Mom," Amanda teased. Her partner followed quickly behind her and closed the door. She began to remove the heavy duster from Lex's shoulders. "Why don't you go on upstairs? I'll bring the food." She brushed the hair out of Lex's tired eyes and caressed her chilled cheek. When Lex seemed like she was about to argue, she added, "Please?"

  "Only because you asked so sweetly." She bent down and kissed Amanda gently for a long moment. "See you upstairs."

  EARLY THE NEXT morning, Michael backed out of his room and almost yelped when he felt a sturdy body behind him. He turned around to the shadowed form of Lex, who apparently had enjoyed startling him. "Umm, good morning," he whispered. "I figured you would already be gone by now."

  "I usually would be." Lex gestured down the hallway. "Why don't we go downstairs? I don't want to wake Amanda."

  "Sure." He followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Martha was already bustling about. "Good morning, Martha."

  The housekeeper turned around and smiled at the pair. "Mornin', you two." She filled two cups with steaming coffee and placed them in front of Lex and Michael as they took their places at the table. "You ready for breakfast?"

  Lex grabbed Martha by the arm. "Why don't you sit and join us? We can wait for Amanda." Deferring to Michael, she added, "If it's okay with you."

  "Sounds good to me," he agreed.

  Martha tried to shake the grip from her arm. "I've got too much to do to be sitting around, Lexie."

  "Now, now, old woman. No sense in getting all cranky about it, is there?" Lex teased. A quick thump on her knuckles caused her to release her captive. "Ow!"

  "Teach you to mess with me, brat." Martha winked at Michael and scurried back to the counter where she resumed rolling out biscuit dough.

  He did his best to hold back his laughter. After spending the past two days at the ranch, Michael saw a new side to his daughter's friend. Friend. I think she's much more than that, especially after seeing the ring Mandy is wearing. Speaking of which-- "Lex? Can I talk to you about something?"

  The dark head rose from where she studied her knuckles, apparently searching for damage. "Sure, Michael. What's up?"

  "I couldn't help but notice the new ring on my daughter's hand last night. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"

  "Umm. Ring?" Lex remembered the last time Michael had questioned her about Amanda, and that had ended up with them fighting. Not sure what to expect, Lex's eyes darted around the kitchen as if looking for an escape.

  Michael laughed. "Don't look so scared, Lex. I'm not going to pull out a shotgun and force you into anything." He leaned forward slightly so he could look directly into her eyes. "I could have gotten the story from my daughter, but I was hoping to hear it from you instead."

  "Oh, okay." Lex exhaled heavily and studied his face for a long moment. "You know I love Amanda. I would do just about anything in the world for her." She broke eye contact, suddenly finding her coffee cup very interesting. "When we almost lost her, it terrified me, Michael. Not only would I have lost the biggest part of myself, I was afraid she'd never realize how much she meant to me." Lex closed her eyes for a moment. The emotional pain and helplessness she felt when Amanda nearly died resurfaced and brought stinging tears to her eyes.

  "Lex." He took hold of her hand. "You don't have to say anything else."

  She shook her head. "No, I think you need to hear this." Lex took a ragged breath and released it slowly. "I wanted to give Amanda my mother's wedding ring, but that didn't work out." She pulled her hand away and tilted her chair back. "Luckily, my grandfather showed up, and gave me my grandmother's ring. It's been in the family for several generations."

  Surprised by the revelation, Michael also leaned back. A family heirloom? I knew she loved Amanda, but that ring has to be worth a fortune.

  "Does he realize what you've done with it?"

  "Yeah. It was his idea, actually. Grandpa found me in the storage room, looking through boxes trying to find my mother's wedding ring. He suggested giving her that one instead."

  "But--"

  Lex leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, picking up the coffee mug with both hands. "Michael, I love your daughter with everything I am. Hell, if we could, I would have married her already. Since we can't, I gave her my promise to love and cherish her for the rest of my life. That ring is simply a token of that promise." She set the cup down again and made sure she had his complete attention. "And I never go back on a promise."

  "I believe you. I know I probably wouldn't have said so a couple of months ago, but I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to Amanda and I'm glad we're in the same family."

  "Thanks, Michael," Lex whispered. "I'm glad, too."

  "NO! DAMMIT, THAT'S not a good enough answer!" Lex's voice continued to rise until it could be heard all the way into the kitchen.

  Amanda glanced at her father sheepishly. The three of them were enjoying a quiet lunch when Lex had gotten a sudden phone call and excused herself to the office. "She's normally not that loud," Amanda apologized to Michael.

  "She sounds a lot like me," Michael teased. "Honey, don't worry about it. Sometimes in business, you have to raise your voice to make a point. It's the nature of the beast."

  "Don't try to bullshit me! Either you bring that out here by the end of the day, or I'll come get it myself. You don't want that, do you?" Lex threatened. She slammed down the receiver on the phone and threw the Rolodex across the room. "Jackass!"

  Amanda flinched when the loud crash came from the other end of the house. She jumped up. "Excuse me for a minute. I need to go make sure she doesn't destroy the office." She squeezed her father's arm affectionately and rushed from the room.

  Amanda paused outside the closed office door. It's awfully quiet in there. Maybe I should just leave her alone. Another loud thump and a muffled curse from the room changed her mind. She knocked lightly on the dark wood.

  "What?" Lex yelled from the other side of the heavy oak door. She pulled it open with such force, Amanda feared it would fly from its hinges. "Oh." Amanda took an involuntary step back. "God, Amanda, I'm sorry." Lex backed into the office slowly. "Come on in."

  "Are you all right?" Amanda asked as she investigated the state of the room. The large leather office chair was lying on its side, and several items that belonged on the desk were strewn around the room.

  She bent down and picked up the phone, placing it on the desk's corner. "Lex?"

  Lex was standing by the window, looking out through the bare oak trees that surrounded the ranch house. She flinched when she felt a hand lightly touch the middle of her back. "Hmm?"

  Amanda waited until she turne
d around. "What's wrong? We could hear you all the way in the kitchen." She studied Lex's face carefully, looking for any clue to her strange behavior. "This isn't like you. Is there something I can do to help?"

  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb your lunch." Lex turned back to look out the window. "Everything's fine. Why don't you go and check on your father?" She slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and tried to appear nonchalant.

  "I don't think so." Amanda grasped one arm, almost releasing it when she felt Lex tense. "Let me try to help you. I can't stand seeing you like this."

  Lex fought the urge to shake the grip from her arm. "I'm fine. It's nothing you need to worry about."

  Amanda could feel a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach from her lover's brush-off. Standing quietly, she studied Lex for a long moment. "Uh-huh." She's upset and won't tell me why. It must be about me. "I guess I'll leave you alone." She reluctantly turned to leave.

  "Wait," Lex begged, as she grabbed Amanda's arm. "Don't go." The last words were barely audible. "Please." She blinked the tears from her eyes in order to focus on Amanda.

  "Honey?" Amanda wiped the dampness from Lex's face. "What's going on?"

  Lex closed her eyes at Amanda's touch. "Umm..." She took a moment to enjoy the feel of Amanda's fingertips on her face before speaking. "I don't know why I let him get to me. Rotten bastard."

  Amanda rolled her eyes. "Hubert again?" She pulled Lex into a firm embrace. I'd love just five minutes alone with him. Teach him a thing or two.

  "Yeah," she expelled in a sigh. Lex buried her face in Amanda's hair. She relaxed into the warmth of Amanda's hands rubbing her back.

  "What has he done this time?" Amanda guided her lover to the den and pushed her gently onto the sofa. She sat next to Lex and snuggled close. "Now that we're comfortable, tell me all about it." She lightly patted the flat stomach.

  Lex shook her head. "You're too cute." She wrapped one arm around Amanda and sighed again. "I tried to get this taken care of before you heard about it."

  "When are you going to realize I don't need protecting?" Amanda saw a resigned weariness cross Lex's face. "I'm sorry," she added, her voice gentled. "Please, tell me."

  "I guess Hubert's run out of money, again. He's filed a lawsuit against me to try to get control of the ranch."

  Amanda sat up quickly. "A lawsuit? On what grounds?"

  "Breach of the morals clause," Lex intoned quietly. "He must have found a copy of the original contract I signed when I was put in charge of the ranch."

  "Morals?" Amanda was incredulous. "That's ridiculous! What could he possibly prove? You're one of the most morally-conscious people I've ever met."

  Lex closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "Part of the contract stated I could not 'cohabitate with another individual at the ranch without benefit of matrimony'." She opened her eyes and looked carefully at Amanda. "Considering I've never had any interest in men, it was the furthest thing from my mind."

  Amanda was confused. "Surely he's not serious?" She ran her fingertips over the antique ring Lex had given her. "You could lose the ranch because I'm staying here with you? I can't allow that to happen." She tried to stand but Lex held onto her with a secure grip.

  "Hold on." Lex pulled her lover back down. "We're not going to lose anything, sweetheart." She tugged Amanda onto her lap and lightly framed the small face with her hands. Amanda's troubled eyes met hers. "You know if I legally could, I'd have married you already, right?" When Amanda nodded, she continued. "You've got my power of attorney and the paperwork to prove it. And nothing my worthless brother can come up with is going to change that."

  "But," Amanda started to argue, until a light fingertip on her lips silenced her.

  "No 'buts'." Lex shook her head. "As usual, Hubert is being a pain in the ass. I have someone bringing out these so-called legal papers today, and we'll get it all cleared up. So don't worry about it. I was afraid it would upset you. That's the only reason I didn't tell you sooner."

  "I thought you'd have figured out by now I get a lot more upset when I don't know what's going on with you than I do with whatever is actually wrong."

  Lex smiled ruefully. "Yeah, I kind of forgot that."

  "Lexington Marie Walters!" Martha stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, a scowl on her usually amiable face. She stomped through the den and stared into the adjacent office.

  "Uh-oh." Lex helped Amanda off her lap and stood slowly. "What's the matter?" she asked, putting on her best contrite expression.

  Martha turned around and glared at Lex, who joined her at the office door and peered over her head. "Aren't you a little old to be throwing a tantrum?" She scrutinized the embarrassed face of the woman she considered a daughter. "I could hear the ruckus all the way to the upstairs guest room."

  Embarrassed, Lex lowered her gaze and studied the floor. "You're right. There's no excuse for my behavior, Martha. I'm sorry." She started to edge around the housekeeper. "I'll get it cleaned up right away." A hand on her arm stopped her. "What?"

  "Honey, this is not like you at all. Is there something you need to talk about?" Martha cupped Lex's cheek. "You know I'm always here for you, don't you?"

  "Yes, I know. I guess I've been on a short fuse, huh?" Lex closed her eyes. "Hubert's up to his old tricks again."

  The housekeeper turned toward Amanda, who had remained on the leather sofa to give Lex and Martha a little privacy. She nodded her head at the unasked question. "Well, that explains it, so," Martha chuckled, "you get the office clean and come into the kitchen and finish your lunch. I saved it for you." She gave Lex a light pat on the ribs and left the room.

  With an affectionate smile on her face, Lex watched Martha head back toward the kitchen. "She's something else." She returned her attention to Amanda, who was making a point of not looking back at her. "Amanda?"

  "Hmm?" She was concentrating on a thread on the cuff of her jeans. "Did you say something, Lex?"

  "I'm sorry about earlier." Lex crossed the room and knelt beside the sofa, laying her hand on Amanda's leg, prompting her to look up. "Sometimes, I wonder why you put up with my moodiness."

  Amanda grasped the hand and pulled it to her chest. "That's an easy one." When she had Lex's complete attention, she explained, "Because I love you. Although, I admit I don't see how you've been able to restrain yourself from doing serious harm to that brother of yours."

  Lex allowed herself to be pulled back onto the sofa and into her lover's arms. "I promised Martha a long time ago I wouldn't," she mumbled into Amanda's chest. "When he was nineteen and I was twelve, I picked up a shovel and tried to remove his head from his shoulders. Martha stopped me and made me promise not to kill him. It's been one of the hardest promises I've ever had to keep."

  "I can understand that. Are you sure you two are related? After meeting your grandfather, I don't see how Hubert can be a part of the same bloodline." Amanda remembered her conversation with Travis Edwards the morning before he left the ranch.

  He related how, after hearing Rawson had left the ranch, his wife called to get in touch with their grandchildren. Hubert answered the phone and told his grandmother neither he nor Lex wanted anything to do with them. The call hurt Melanie deeply. It wasn't until she was dying with cancer that Travis agreed to reconnect with his granddaughter. His guilt at not reconciling with Lex until after his wife's death continually ate at him, and even Amanda could tell he would never be the same because of it.

  "I enjoyed getting to know your grandfather. He's a sweet man."

  "He is a great guy, isn't he? I just wish I'd known about him sooner." Lex leaned back against the sofa. "How're things at the real estate office right now? Are you busy?"

  "Not really. It's slow, and there isn't much to do. Why?" She could read the indecision on Lex's face.

  "Grandpa asked me to drive to Dallas early next week, and I was wondering if you would be interested in joining me." She plucked at the buttons on Amanda's shirt. "I'd like for you to go
, if you're not too busy."

  "Honey, look at me, please." Amanda waited until Lex complied. "I'm never too busy to be with you." She ran her fingertips down the clenched jaw, until the frown on her lover's face vanished. "What are you supposed to be going to Dallas for?"

  Lex gazed into the hazel eyes she loved so well before she answered, "To see my grandmother."

  Chapter Two

  LEX SQUINTED AGAINST the bright, early-morning sun as she opened the truck's passenger door for Amanda. "Your dad was understanding about us leaving this morning." They decided to leave right away instead of waiting a week, to take advantage of the lull in business at the real estate office that Amanda managed for her grandmother. She quickly closed the door and rushed around to the other side, climbing easily into the tall vehicle. "Brrr! I hate December." Lex rubbed her hands together for some warmth and turned the key in the ignition.

  "Dad said he needed to be in town this morning, anyway. Gramma was going to help him find a suitable location for his new studio." Even though Anna Leigh was retired from the real estate business, she took an active interest in the running of her office. Amanda was more than happy to work with her grandmother, since it allowed her to take time off when needed. Watching Lex shiver, Amanda shook her head. "I thought you were hot-natured. At least that's what you told me the afternoon we met, when you gave me your coat." She was bundled in the old leather bomber jacket she had appropriated from Lex.

  Lex glared at her. "Smartass." She pulled the truck onto the road. "So your dad is going to open a photography studio, huh? That's a big step down from running his corporation, isn't it?"

  "In a way, I guess. He's excited about starting over. It's like he's a completely different person, now." Amanda wrapped her fingers around Lex's forearm. "Dad's also looking forward to getting to know you better."

  Lex took her eyes off the road long enough to glance at Amanda to see if she was joking. "Are you sure? I think he's just a little bit afraid of me." She sighed and turned her attention back to the road ahead. "Can't blame him much. I did threaten to toss him out of a hospital window."