Lawlessly in Love 3

by Mercy B

I fell backward into his chest, unable to control my movements or gather the strength to slow them down. Sadness reached me as I realized this journey to recovery would be much harder than I’d expected, and I would possibly need someone with the patience and care that Sosa displayed. It was all very frustrating to think about, so I washed my thoughts clean as I felt the warm water trickle down my chest and breasts.

  My nipples hardened upon contact, and my body finally relaxed against Sosa’s. My neck was planted on his shoulder as he spread my legs so that he could rinse and wet the bottom half of my body. The sensation of the water tapping against my clitoris caused a slight moan to fall from my lips. Embarrassment washed over me, prompting me to tuck my head between Sosa’s shoulder blade and neck.

  Assuming he understood what was happening with my body, he held the shower head in place as I began to squirm with the few body parts that I was able to move—such as my neck and head. My lips parted and eyes batted out of control as I felt the pressure increase and water beads thicken. Sosa had brought the shower head a bit closer.

  “Sosa…” I moaned.

  “You need this, G,” he confessed what I wasn’t willing. “So shut the fuck up and cum.”

  And I came. There were little white lights flickering, stars bursting in the sky, and the taste of blood present within my jaws. The intensity of the orgasm had caused me to bite my tongue until it poured blood.

  “Oh. Shit,” I cried out. “Sosa…”

  Something overcame me. Something that I would be regretful of fairly soon, possibly immediately after. I’m not sure what had convinced me that I wanted this or that I even needed it. Yet I was lost in the moment without a care for much else or the consequences sure to come.

  “Put it in me,” I demanded in shallow breaths. “I need to feel you inside of me.”

  He knew I wasn’t referring to the showerhead that he held in his hand but more so the hard dick that was pressing against my spine. I wanted it. I wanted it all inside of me as soon as possible.

  “Nah, G. That’s some shit you’re going to regret. That was for you. If you wish to cum again, I’ve got plenty shit up my sleeve to help you with that.”

  “No. I know what I want. Fuck me. Show me how much you missed me. Tell me how sorry you are for hurting me.”

  “I don’t need to be inside of you to do either of those, G.”

  “But that’s what I want.”

  I began to grow frustrated with the good Samaritan act that he was putting on. I didn’t need this Sosa. I needed the one that would take my ass down without me even asking. Wherever the nigga was that would fill my walls without a second thought, I needed his ass to return.

  “G!”

  “Fuck me!” I screamed to the top of my lungs.

  “G, you loud as shit, yo. You gon’ wake Sophia!”

  “Then put your dick inside of me, or I won’t shut up until she’s screaming too.”

  Okay, I was aware that I was being petty, but he’d threatened me just a few minutes ago. If we were going low, then I wasn’t ashamed. Sosa wanted to show his immaturity, so I didn’t mind showing mine. The thought of ending our time alone and waking Sophia got him together quick.

  “You so fucking spoiled. I swear. I’m glad you don’t need my ass no more, ’cause I can’t deal with two crying ass babies right now. You motherfuckers going to give me gray hair!”

  In silence, Sosa lifted me from the bench and hoisted me against the wall. I’d lost so much weight and couldn’t wait to pick it back up. I could see the bones of my rib cage, which was not a good sign at all. I was wondering what the hell they’d been feeding me or if they’d been feeding me at all.

  “You’re going to get back right. Get out of your head.” Sosa read my mind.

  “I’m so fucked up.” I whimpered as I felt myself being lowered onto his hardened member.

  “Shhhhh,” he encouraged, whispering in my ear as his grip tightened around me, and he nearly split my ass in two upon entrance.

  Arching my back and bending my neck, I bit into his shoulder blade to relieve myself of the pain. This felt like the first night all over again. It had been months since we’d been this close to one another, but the love that had always been felt between us remained. Emotions began pouring in as Sosa held still and savored the moment for us both.

  “I missed you so fucking much, G.”

  Sosa couldn’t hold back, falling victim to the same tide of emotional unstableness that I had too. The only difference was that I didn’t know what to say. My arms hung at my sides, because I was unable to move them, as my chest heaved and body responded to his confession.

  “Don’t…” He pulled back and grabbed each side of my face while holding my body up with his legs. “Don’t cry for me anymore.”

  “But you—”

  “Don’t cry for me, G. Don’t cry for me anymore. Aight?” Squeezing the sides of my cheeks, he nearly forced me to agree, but I had other thoughts in mind.

  “I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to my heart.” Staring into his eyes, I cheated and gave him the answers that he was desperately searching for through the mirrors of my soul. Need he look any further, for I knew what he would find, and it was nothing short of a mess—a mess that he’d made.

  “Don’t say that to me, G. You don’t hate me. You wish you hated me. You want to hate me, but I’ll never let you.” Sosa slipped one hand around my chin and wrapped the other around me as he pulled out of me before entering again. My eyes nearly got lost in the back of my head before they returned to his handsome face.

  “You’ve ruined my life.” My chest heaved and lips quivered. I could feel the incoming whimpers but attempted to hold them back.

  “I’m going to give you a better one. Shhhhhh.” His forehead pressed against mine as he began stroking me from below.

  I cringed at the sound of my neediness lubricating the both of us. Sosa lived for it. I was a complete mess down there and would need a thorough cleaning once we’d both reached our peaks. My thighs clung to his skin and made a loud clapping noise each time he pulled backward and then collided with me.

  “Shit. G.” He hissed as his strokes sped up.

  I began crowning, my orgasm nearly knocking me temporarily unconscious. Though I wanted to be everything but, I didn’t quite care much at the moment. My entire body prickled as if small tiny needles were poking me on every inch of my frame.

  “I’m ’bout to nut, G,” Sosa called out as I mounted. “This shit too fucking slippery, yo.”

  He was upset, upset that he’d come so fast, but with my health so shot, I couldn’t last another minute if I tried. My body was exhausted, and so was my mind. We’d both gotten our fix, and that was all that mattered. When Sosa’s movements had stopped, I knew that he had completed his mission.

  “Sosa,” I started while he was still inside of me.

  “Yeah?” He breathed.

  “Can you go get me a Plan B pill?” I was thinking far into the future and wanted to be very cautious.

  “Yeah,” he agreed.

  Chapter 6

  Sosa

  Plan B my ass. Gauge was going to need a Plan C, fucking with me. I had a feeling that baby girl would get beside herself when her health was together, so I needed moments like this to secure my spot in the game. Each lapse in judgment she had, I was going to use to my advantage. Before she let me off in the pussy, I had already warned her. Now she’d have to deal with the consequences, whatever those might’ve been.

  I’d been away from the hospital for less than an hour and wanted to do nothing more than turn my ass around and go back. Sophia had finally awakened, and I wanted her to see her mother. But I had a few stops to make before we headed back. The sadness that covered G’s face as we left was enough to make me stay, but I knew she needed her time alone, and she was encouraging me to go buy a pill that I definitely wasn’t going for.

  “Sophia. I only brought two diapers out. Now, if you have another blowout, then you’re k
eeping that shit on you until we make it back to your mother,” I fussed as I attached the sides of her diaper to the front.

  She didn’t know what I was saying, and neither did she give a fuck as she kicked and cooed away while I fastened her clothes and picked her up. It frustrated a nigga to no end that he had to use his damn lap for a changing mat when the women’s restroom had the changing tables. It was as if society didn’t understand that men cared for their children as well. For the last three months, I’d been a single father and had peeped a lot of shit that I hadn’t before. The world was really a fucked-up place.

  “Let’s ride, Soso.” It was a name I used for Sophia when she was riding with me.

  My shorty was considered a homie on days like today. Besides her mother, she was the only friend that I had in this world. Truth be told, I knew I’d fucked up with G, and I wasn’t sure if I even had her anymore. Something in my spirit kept telling me that she was gone, and that shit pained me worse than losing my mother all those years back.

  G was it for me. She was everything that a nigga didn’t need and somehow needed at the same damn time. She was so precious in my world, but I had failed at showing her that shit until now. From the moment I returned, I made a promise to be the nigga she needed, and I’d made good on it. But other things got in the way, and I wasn’t so sure if my actions would matter much anymore. That’s exactly why I was going to make the most of this time we had together before I had to show my ass when she healed. Because I didn’t mind one bit.

  “We out!”

  Grabbing the bags from the floor of the restroom, I headed out of the stall. We’d torn the mall down for G. I wanted her to be comfortable for the rest of her stay and beyond. They were running tests on her today and promised she may be able to go home within a week. I couldn’t wait to get her to the house that I’d been gradually furnishing since her hospital stay.

  Upon my return, I’d gotten us a new pad and had plans of surprising Gauge once I had pled my case and she let me back into her good graces. But Sophia decided to come early; on the night that I went to G’s crib, the laws came and scooped a nigga, and then Gauge slipped into a coma. So much shit had happened in between time that I wanted to have the house in tip-top shape by the time she had awakened.

  That time had come, and I was still leery about her presence at the damn house. However, I was very confident in my ability to convince her to come with Sophia and me. If I had to, I’d definitely use our daughter as a pawn. Right now, she was the only hope I had. Knowing G wouldn’t want to be away from her any longer, she’d possibly side with us.

  To be honest, I wasn’t sure anyone else would care for her as I could. I wasn’t expecting hospital staff to do all of the work or handle shit that Gauge wouldn’t feel comfortable with just because it was in their description. That wasn’t the case. I was all hands on deck.

  Three hours later, and I’d finally returned to Gauge’s room only to find her missing along with all of our things. “Excuse me. My girl. She was in room…”

  “Yes. Ms. Morrison. She’s been moved to non-critical condition. After testing, the doctor decided that she was due for a transfer.”

  “That quick?”

  “Her progress was phenomenal. We move fast around here.” The young, vibrant nurse shrugged.

  I’d seen her around a few times and even caught her giving me sly looks. She wanted everything that I was packing in these jeans, but this shit belonged to Gauge. I’d be damned if I let my dick get me into more trouble than I was already in. There wasn’t a bitch in the entire hospital that could make me feel any differently.

  “’Preciate that, but can you give me the information I need to her new room?”

  “Sure. One second. Let me look up her information.” Bending over and accessing the computer in front of her, she searched for G’s information. “Cute little one you have there.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled, tugging at the bib Sophia had on. It had gotten all bunched up and could barely serve its purpose. The little girl slobbered at an insane rate.

  “How old is she? What’s her name?”

  “Never mind all them questions!” I barked. “You got the information I need?”

  Caught off guard and surprised that I wasn’t hooked by the bait she was throwing out, I watched as her smile faded. “Oh. Yeah. Of course. She’s in a different quarter of the wing and on the second floor. Room 232.”

  “Bet. Thanks for the info.” I nodded and headed toward the elevators.

  Chuckling, I thought of how much attention Sophia got a nigga. The shit was cute in the beginning, but it was straight aggravating now. Before I had baby girl in my hand everywhere I went, bitches were afraid to look my way, less known say something to me. Now they used Soph as their entry access and were denied each time. The only one allowed to use her as a pawn was me, and I surely planned on it. With G, it was the only damn thing I had to offer. I was banking on Sophia, and I prayed she didn’t let her old man down.

  Gauge’s room wasn’t hard to locate. In fact, I stumbled upon it rather quickly. Sophia was beginning to fall asleep in my arms, so I’d picked up my pace. The last thing I wanted was for her to crash before she saw her mother. I’d rushed back to the hospital to avoid it, in fact.

  The giggles that came from Gauge’s room were startling, and I wondered who was making my bitch laugh. The male staff had caught my wrath a few times when I felt like they were being a bit too touchy with her, which was why I decided to begin cleaning her instead of them. Now, I wondered who’d slipped past me and made their way into her room. When I opened the door, both relief and rage surrounded me.

  Her father, the nigga that I was highly disappointed in, was front and center with tears of laughter running down his face. Oh, this nigga was having himself a jolly ole time, and I wanted to wipe that smile right off of his face. I couldn’t understand how a man who’d raised his daughter alone cowered at the sign of real trouble. He’d shriveled when discovering Gauge’s condition.

  Instead of stepping up to the plate, he stepped down. Yes, it gave me room to be at her side, but that wasn’t how it should’ve been. That nigga was foul, and I didn’t give a fuck who didn’t agree with it. And to think that he was attempting to take Sophia, woofing about how he could care for her better than I could because he had experience with her mother. Fuck experience. He ain’t have heart like her father, and that’s what mattered to me most.

  Without saying a word to his hoe ass, I proceeded to Gauge’s bed. “She’s almost gone that way. I wanted her to see you before she dozed off. This little girl can sleep! Sophia. Look. It’s Mommy!”

  Gauge looked refreshed since her shower. I’d even hooked her up with a messy bun to tame that damn hair of hers. Though much thinner, she reminded me of the woman I met and fell for unexpectedly.

  “Sophia!” Gauge gushed, cheeks flushing and eyes brimming with tears.

  Stepping closer, I placed Sophia on Gauge’s chest, knowing that she was unable to hold her. I’d been doing this for the last three months so that the two could get acquainted, so this was nothing new to Sophia—only to G. Sophia stretched her little neck and got comfortable on her mother’s breast.

  “Sophia!” G kept repeating. “You’re such a doll. I’ve missed you. Mommy loves you so so much, and I’m so sorry I’ve been away all of this time.”

  Sophia was so tired that she could barely hold her own head as she gave Gauge a lazy smile that caused all of us to laugh. Following suit, Soph chuckled a bit too before lifting her hand and putting it on Gauge’s cheek.

  “Awww, baby. I’m going to get so strong for you, momma.”

  It was agonizing, watching Gauge interact with Sophia and couldn’t even touch her. I rushed over to the couch and grabbed a few pillows before tucking them underneath each of her arms and placing her hands onto Soph’s back. My heart nearly leaped from my chest as I watched the tears fall from G’s eyes. I just wanted her to feel as normal as possible around our baby girl.


  “Ooooh. Sophia. I have such a long journey ahead, but we’re going to make it, okay.”

  Sophia was a goner. After another smile, she began rubbing her mother’s cheek as she lowered her head onto Gauge’s chest. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths and settled for naptime.

  “She’s going to be out for a minute. When you get tired of her laying there, I’ll put her down for you.”

  “No. She’s fine. She can stay right here all day, and I wouldn’t mind.”

  “Wait until you smell her after a shit. I’m sure you will,” I challenged Gauge.

  “She didn’t take after me at all.” There were hints of sadness in G’s voice as she noted. Sophia’s hand was still on her cheek.

  “Yeah.” I shrugged. “That’s all me, baby girl.”

  “I know. I was hoping she acquired something from me.”

  “That hair,” I mocked. “But that’s about it. I’m going to grab something from the cafeteria. You want anything back?”

  Though her father wasn’t speaking, I could feel him staring daggers into my back. I really wasn’t fucking with the nigga, and I’d hate to set his ass straight like I’d done a few times before with G awake. She’d really have a reason to kick my ass out, and I wasn’t trying to go that route. A nigga was really treading lightly around this bitch.

  “Orange juice. Apple juice. Just anything besides water. Please don’t forget to get a few straws.”

  “I won’t,” I assured her before heading out of the door.

  “So, you two. You’re back on good terms?” I heard from her father ask as the door closed.

  There was nothing more that I wanted to do besides walk back inside and tell that nigga to mind his motherfucking business, but I continued forward. For some reason, I had a feeling that he would be the one soul standing between my and G’s reunion. She valued that nigga, and he didn’t give two fucks about me, because I wasn’t blind to his cowardly ways. Yeah, he’d raised G and all of that, but he was a real pussy.