Lawlessly in Love 3

by Mercy B

  Since he was so fucking hung up on my downfall, I was going to allow him to watch my come up and assure him that he wouldn’t be a part of my return to the Gauge Morrison we all knew. Determination filled my bloodstream like a disease as I wiped my eyes and said a quick prayer to the Lord. He was the only one who could get me through this madness I was facing.

  Pulling myself together, I grabbed the nightstand that was beside the bed before placing my weight on the right side of my body. It pained like hell as I threw my legs over the bed. They’d been getting stronger each day, but they weren’t nearly as strong enough for the task I was attempting to complete.

  Taking a look around me, I mapped out my strategy. Thankfully, the nightstand was against the wall, which would help in my time of despair. There was also a large wardrobe that was next to the entry of the bathroom, and I quickly made plans to use it to stop and refuel. Once I’d completed the map to the bathroom, it was time to steady my thoughts and reel in the ambition that was coursing through my veins.

  During physical therapy, my therapist reminded me that I was in control of my recovery. She said it every single day. She also shared videos and pictures of mothers who’d suffered from deep vein thrombosis and cases were as severe as mine, who all managed to overcome their paralysis within a moment’s time. Unfortunately, I’d developed both deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism, which made my case more complicated. It was the reason my system had shut down and lungs had failed me.

  The strokes I suffered on each side of my brain in addition to the 114 days that I was in a coma left me bedridden. The encouraging words along with my therapist’s words were at the forefront of my mind as I lifted from the bed on wobbling legs. Considering the pain that I felt, I silently wished that Sosa had enough sense to retrieve my compression garments sooner than later. The last thing I wanted was for more blood clots to begin to form. They would definitely set me back, and I simply couldn’t afford that at the moment.

  “Uh.” I couldn’t. I couldn’t hold in the groans that escaped my mouth as my rigid body hunched over while my legs nearly caved.

  There was no doubt in my mind that my body would plummet to the floor at any given second. Yet the inkling of pride that I felt in standing kept me motivated enough to still my wobbly frame and attempt to straighten my back. I knew that if I could even the weight on my frame, things would be much easier on me. Of course, it wouldn’t be easy altogether, but that would help. Because, for the time being, my weight was pulled forward, and I could fall face first at any moment.

  Come on, Gauge.

  You’ve got this.

  It is all in your head.

  You are in control of your recovery.

  All you have to do is believe that you can do this.

  There is no turning back now.

  You’re standing.

  Push forward.

  You can do this.

  There was an entire cheer team of voices encouraging me to continue. Without a doubt, the pain made me want to give up and lay my ass back on the bed, but the fact that I knew I could do this kept me standing. Not only was my pride riding on it, but my daughter was too.

  Holding Sophia.

  Feeding Sophia.

  Helping Sophia learn to crawl.

  Walking around with Sophia.

  Taking Sophia to the park.

  Driving Sophia to the mall.

  All of the visions flashed before me. I could see my mini me and me on missions each day with nothing much to do but live our boring lives as we pleased. The sight was so gratifying and so worthy of the sharp pain that I felt as I lifted my leg and took the first step forward. Tears pierced my cheeks as I lifted my other leg and put it forward. My hands were still planted on the nightstand but soon came off as I hurried to grab the wall or lay my weight against it at least.

  At that moment, I was able to straighten my posture and lean into the slight support it provided. Shallow breathing and anxiety went hand in hand, trying to strangle me at the same time. However, I was in no mood for the antics. I’d taken two steps. Even if I fell on my ass in the next second, I’d be so thankful to have come this far. A miracle. A true miracle it was.

  “Lord, help me,” I whispered. “Please help me.”

  My mumbles were so low that only I could understand them. I still hadn’t managed to look up and give Sosa any amount of satisfaction. The only thing his presence served as at the moment was more motivation. I’d always been the type to bask in other’s lack of confidence in me. It was a lonesome place that I thrived.

  After my breath was caught and my energy was back up, I began tracing the path of the wall that lead to the bathroom. One foot. Then another foot. My steps were so small, and I knew that this would cause my journey to be extended in time, but there wasn’t much that I could do. The thought of wider steps crossed my mind, but that would take more energy. Now, the decision to use more time, which would result in more energy utilized, with smaller steps or widen my steps and still use a heap of energy that I wasn’t sure I had in me.

  Bigger steps, Gauge. My thoughts rang out.

  Abiding, I prepared my body to take a larger step and not bust my ass in the process. The first step was playing it safely and only about an inch or two wider than the previous one. Once I knew that this was possible, I widened the next step by a few more inches. The bathroom neared me as I repeated the same steps ten times.

  No, it wasn’t much, but it felt like I’d run a marathon. Finally upon the large chest-like dresser, I grabbed ahold of it and decided to rest. Desperately, I wanted to have a sit right where I stood, but I knew that if I got down to the ground, there wouldn’t be any getting up for me.

  Chapter 14

  Sosa

  She could do it. Gauge could do whatever she put her mind to, and today was the day that I would show her. After seeing her care for our daughter the entire day without needing help, I knew that baby girl was just being lazy. If she wanted to, she could gain her mobility. All day, I’d struggled with the idea of teaching her ass and had finally come to a conclusion that it was now or never.

  The things that I’d said, I hadn’t meant, and the way that I treated her was tearing a nigga up inside. But it had to be done. As I watched her garner strength from within, I wanted to cheer her on. I wanted to sing her praises, but I simply stood and watched. My position had been played well, even though that made me the bad guy.

  I’d have a lot of pussy licking and dicking down to get her back in my good graces, but I knew it wasn’t impossible. Gauge loved me, and she loved what I could do for her. It would be no different once she understood what my intentions were and the fact that they were always good. Hurting her wasn’t even on my agenda. I’d done enough of that shit in the past, and nothing would convince me to repeat it. Baby girl just needed a boost, a wake-up call, and I was the one to deliver it for that ass.

  She was exhausted, hugging the wardrobe as if it was her best friend. I wanted to reach out and grab her to carry her the rest of the way. But I didn’t want to steal her victory. Gauge had come this far, and there was no need of me stepping in. I wanted her to celebrate her win once she made it to the end. With glee rocking my core, I watched on like a proud father whose child was taking their first steps.

  I couldn’t help but think about how much more successful her recovery would have been by now if she’d come home with me. Of course, I wanted her here for my selfish ways, but there was more to her company than our reunion. I wanted to help her heal so that she could return to herself. I could see the weight of the world on her shoulders, and I wanted to lift it from them. I couldn’t do that with her at her pop’s house, and I wouldn’t even try.

  There was no doubt in my mind that I could work her ass over better than any therapist they sent her way. Tonight was my proof. Gauge hadn’t even known she could be so strong, but I brought that shit out of her. No matter how I did it, it had gotten done.

  My eyes bulged from my sockets as Gauge star
ted up again. This time, she was near the entry of the bathroom. However, there was a large space between the wardrobe and the door. Silently, I rooted for her to make the pass and grab ahold to the door. Sadly, my cheering was in vain. I watched as baby girl plummeted to the ground, falling backward and nearly landing on her head.

  That shit wasn’t happening on my watch. Springing into action, I held my arms out and broke her fall just before she hit the floor. Gauge landed safely and without flaw, which brought relief and quieted the storm raging inside of me.

  “G. You did it.” They were the first words bursting from my lips.

  “Let me go!” she screamed, still haunted by my words and dismayed by my actions.

  “Gauge. Don’t do this right now. You just walked around the whole damn room almost.”

  “Yes. Because you are too fucking selfish to lend a hand!”

  “You didn’t need me, Gauge. Let that shit sink in. You did that shit on your own, mama!”

  “Sosa. I’m pissing my fucking self right now. I’m pissing this carpet, and I’m probably pissing on you all because I had to do this shit on my own, and I failed!”

  “I don’t give a fuck about piss. That’s why they made showers. You didn’t fail! Don’t say that!”

  “I hate you. Put me down. I can crawl the rest of the way.”

  “Nah. I got you!” Lifting her up, I cradled her wet bottom in my arms to show her just how little I cared about her urine on me. I’d wash that shit off when I could.

  “You got me?” she yelled, squirming in my arms. I knew right then and there she was about to bring me hell. “You got me? Bitch! I just fell on my ass while you sat there and watched, and you want to holler you got me? You don’t got me. Don’t nobody got me but my motherfucking self!”

  The first blow was to the cheek. Not only was she putting her paws on me, but she’d called me out of my name. I gritted my teeth in response, knowing I deserved whatever she was dishing. The thought of killing niggas for less crossed my mind, and I had to remind myself that I’d definitely softened up.

  “Sick bastard!” she screamed at me.

  The second and third landed somewhere on my face. I wasn’t sure, because I’d zoned out. If slapping and punching me would make Gauge feel any better, then she could have her way. The fourth swing drew blood. I could taste that shit in my mouth as I finally made it to the tub, where there was a bench inside for her. I’d had the tub custom made once I learned about her condition while she was still in a coma. It was built into the wall, so she could relax and enjoy her time during the bath.

  Blow after blow, she assaulted me while I undressed her. The love licks that she was tossing hurt like hell too. I couldn’t lie. But I held my composure and let her tire herself out. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before she had depleted the little energy that she had left.

  By the time I had her undressed, my suspicions had come to fruition. Baby girl’s head hung low, and her back slumped. I started the water and grabbed the soap and a washcloth to wipe her down. I didn’t bother removing her clothes from the tub, because that shit was going in the garbage.

  With her so out of it, it gave me the time I needed to clean her really good and spend the necessary time I wanted with her. She’d been away from me all day, feeding her attention to our Sophia. Now it was only us two. Upset or not, I enjoyed her company.

  She was a fucking dream, sitting there bathing in her own tears as I washed her down. No, she didn’t want me touching her, but she had no other choice. As much as her body was hers, it was mine too. And I could do as I damn well pleased with it. Right now, I wanted to wash it down before I took it down. Beat it down. Put it down. Laid it down. The shit I had in store for G tonight would send her ass to the moon and back. But in order to put a start to my plans, I first needed to apologize and get her to understand my motive.

  “I didn’t mean it, aight.” I fell to my knees in front of her. “That shit I said back there. The shit I did. I didn’t mean it. None of it. I saw a window of opportunity and took it. I want you well. I want you better. I want you happy again. And the only way to make that happen is for you to gain your mobility. So I did what I had to do, G. Don’t fault me. Don’t punish me for having your best interest at heart.”

  Gauge remained silent as she lifted her head and exposed her beautiful face. I was astounded when she opened her mouth and let a wad of spit loose. The saliva flew a few inches before landing on my face. As disgusted as I wanted to be, that shit had the opposite effect on me. Aroused. My dick grew rigid, becoming harder than Chinese arithmetic. My first reaction was to slap the shit out of Gauge, so that’s what the fuck I did.

  Wham! A quick hand to the face—I needed to get her undivided attention.

  As expected, she backhanded my ass too. Wham! Only she didn’t suppress the pressure and let me have it.

  With a sadistic chuckle, I grabbed the bottom of her face and forced her tongue out of her mouth before taking it into mine. I sucked on it hard until she began squirming beneath me. Pulling backward with her chin between my hand, I smiled.

  “You’re not upsetting me, G. You turning me the fuck on, and I’m about to show you what will happen to you the next time you open your mouth and spit on me. You dirty bitch.” I meant no harm by referring to her as a bitch. She was my bitch, and that made it all the better. Gauge still wasn’t having it though.

  “Bitch!” she yelled as I felt her leg at my chest before she tried footing my ass. But I was too quick for her. I lifted myself from the bed of the tub while hoisting her little ass into the air and against the side wall.

  “You like hurting me, huh? Beating my ass, did that make you feel better, G? ’Cause that shit got my dick hard as a motherfucker. Did it get your pussy wet?” I questioned as I pushed my boxers and shorts past my ass and into the tub.

  “Huh?” She remained silent. “Answer me when I ask you a question!”

  Eager as a motherfucker whose lotto ticket numbers had just been called, I lowered her down onto my dick and answered my own question. She was a mess between the legs. There were no complications. She let me right on in.

  “Fuck yeah. That shit got you gushing,” I whispered in her ear.

  “Sosa.” She finally moaned as our bodies collided, her thighs against mine. Her muscles clenched as her arms slinked around my neck and head fell backward. The veins in her neck were visible, and the skin that covered them looked mighty tasty. Leaning forward, I sunk my teeth into her.

  “Ummmmmm.”

  “I’m sorry, G. You’ve got to know that shit,” I grunted, finally beginning to move inside of her.

  “Fuck me,” she encouraged.

  Who was I to deny her of her desires? I reached down and grabbed both of her legs and placed them in the crook of each of my arms. Gauge held on tight as our bodies began to separate before colliding again. I was able to slide in and out of her shit effortlessly, demanding that she put some fucking respect on this dick. The sound of our skin smacking against one another was blissful, causing me to close my eyes and allow my head to fall backward.

  “Fuck. Yes!” Gauge screamed out, assuring me that I was stroking it just how she wanted it. “Yes! Yes! Yes. You’re going to make me cum!”

  Shit, you’re going to make me cum, I said to myself but held that shit in. Now wasn’t the time, so I slowed down to change the pace and give myself more time in the pussy. It didn’t matter; I still felt the tightness of Gauge’s pussy as she busted, shaking and gripping my skin until it began to burn.

  “Oooooooh. Shit, Sosa,” she cried out to me.

  “That’s right. Cum on this dick.”

  “Ummmmm.”

  Gauge clung to me as if she’d never let go while I continued stroking her from below. Truth be told, I never wanted her to either, not today or not ever. I wanted her to keep holding a nigga down and getting through the bullshit while I held her down like she’d done for me all of this time. Giving up wasn’t an option, not for me and not for h
er. As corny as the shit may have sounded, we were made for each other. I could tell how my dick was built to fit her little ass pussy to the T, and her shit was carved to accommodate my shit too.

  If anyone ever questioned what forever felt like, it was us. G and me. We weren’t perfect, but I’d be damned if we weren’t trying. And I knew Gauge saw that I was doing the best I could. Every day was different for me, and I was simply trying to find my way and do the right thing in the process. Sometimes, that meant fucking up, but I’d always fix it. That’s why she was here—in my arms and getting this good dick stuck up her stomach.

  Otherwise, there wouldn’t have been anything that I could say or do that would get her to come back to me. If she didn’t want this—want me—then after I kidnapped her ass, she would’ve found a way right back to her pops. But she hadn’t, and that let me know that we still had a chance. We could make it through this, and we would as long as we both wanted it!

  “G, I love you, baby,” I grunted as I gave into the urge to let my shit rip.

  “I love you,” she whispered, exhausted and no more good.

  Chapter 15

  Sosa

  “Have my baby,” I whispered in her ear as I stroked her nice and slow.

  We’d gone from the shower to the bedroom and were still at it. Tonight, I was planning to make up for old and new. My pussy felt so damned good that there was no way I was giving this shit up. No matter what, we were just going to have to work through our differences. I needed G, and she needed me. Her condition had helped us both to see that, and I was happy that we’d experienced some real shit. Nothing else had compared to the hardships that we’d overcome in the last few months.