Kiss Me

by Alexandria Bishop

  Well, this is awkward.

  I rub my hand over my face and stretch out all of my muscles. I have two options, I could stay in bed until Marek gets back or I could get out of this bed and head there. My grumbling stomach answers for me. When I finally make my out to the living room, I spot a dark head of hair surrounded by snacks and watching something on the TV.

  “So, what are we watching?” I ask Giselle as I plop down on the couch next to her. I recognize the characters on the screen to know she’s watching reruns of Beverly Hills 90210, but I’m not going to tell her that. Every girl and her mom are in love with Luke Perry. How do I know this? When you have the last name McKay, the comparison is made a time or fifty.

  Giselle pauses the TiVo and rolls her eyes. “I’m watching a show. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be off hooking up with random girls or something?”

  Hooking up with random girls? What would even make her think that of me? I haven’t done a single thing since I got here to give that impression.

  “Wow, tell me what you really think of me.”

  She shrugs and shovels a mouthful of popcorn into her mouth. She looks like she’s contemplating what she wants to say as she chews when she finally finishes. “What else am I supposed to think? I don’t even know you. Before my brother went off to college, he didn’t have girlfriends or hook up with girls. Since the moment you got here, that’s all my brother can talk about. I have to assume you’re exactly like him.”

  “You’re right, you don’t know me.” I put the bowl down on the couch between us and wipe my hand off on the front of my shorts before offering it up to her and saying, “It’s nice to meet you, my name is Anders McKay.”

  “Like Dylan?”

  There’s no way I’m letting her know I have any idea what she’s talking about. Instead, I slightly tilt my head to the side and ask, “Who?”

  She rolls her eyes, but she has a big grin on her face, so I know she’s not as annoyed with me as she’s acting. “Okay, I’m not going to explain too much because I want to get back to watching. What I will tell you is that Luke Perry, who is stupid gorgeous by the way I’d totally bang him if I knew where to find him, plays Dylan McKay. He’s the OG bad boy. Honestly, I don’t even understand how any of the other guys got attention next to Dylan.”

  “Yeah? What makes him so special?”

  “Besides the fact that he has a crap ton of money, drives a Porsche, and looks like Luke Perry?”

  I’m not really sure how I am supposed to answer that question and when I do respond my answer ends up coming out like a question. “Sure?”

  “Ugh, just watch the show. I’m not going to continue explaining this. Before we know it, everyone will be back, and I’ll have to stop watching anyway.”

  It’s kind of cute how frustrated she gets with me. All of the eye rolling and groaning. I take the bowl of popcorn off her lap as she hits play, but she doesn’t say anything about it. With the first bite I know she’s my kind of girl. Movie theater butter? I don’t know how anyone could eat anything else.

  We’re two episodes in when the front door opens, and slams shut. Somehow, we have both gravitated toward the middle of the couch, but we slide away from each other when Marek walks into the room. Giselle pauses the TiVo as he eyes both of us.

  “Hey man, I thought you were meeting up with Stacy?”

  He plops down on the couch between us and grabs the popcorn out of my hands. “Oh, she wasn’t there. I hung out for a half an hour which was thirty minutes too long, but she never showed. I looked like a pathetic fuck face waiting around. And yet here I am. So, what are we watching?”

  “Brandon and Brenda are twins and they just moved to Beverly Hills from Minnesota because they’re dad got a job transfer. Basically, their world just got flipped upside down and they’re definitely not in Kansas anymore.”

  “Okay, cool.”

  We’re about ten minutes in when Marek starts fidgeting. He puts the bowl of popcorn back into my lap and grabs an unopened soda from the table. He takes a drink and leans over to say to me, “There’s a party on the beach tomorrow, I told the girls we’d check it out.”

  I should feel stoked to be meeting up with chicks my own age, but after yesterday’s shopping trip and spending the bit of time with Giselle today, I can’t deny my pull to her. Which is why going tomorrow is the best idea for me.

  “You know I’ll be there.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watch as she looks from me to her brother finally dropping her focus back on me.

  “Before you even ask, no, Giselle you aren’t invited.”

  Her cheeks redden, but a mask goes up on her face almost instantly. She pauses her show again. With a huff, she wipes any former emotions away. “Yeah right, like I’d want to go to some stupid beach party and watch girls throw themselves at you. No thanks, I’m good.”

  Marek turns to me while taking a sip of his soda.

  That’s when she says, “So when are you going to finally pull your head out of your ass and stop chasing all these girls and finally hook up with Cassie?”

  His mouth opens wide with a geyser of soda going everywhere. “What the fuck are you talking about? Cassie? As in our next-door neighbor Cassie? What would make you think that I’d do anything remotely close to hooking up with her?”

  “Duh, because she’s only been in love with you for like ever. Plus, her mom and our mom have been planning your futures since they moved in next door to us.”

  “Sure, they say shit about it, but nobody is serious. There’s no way Cassie would even consider that.”

  “Marek, you can’t be serious. It’s obvious how she feels. You know that, right?”

  His eyes go wide, and he gets up from the couch pacing the small area in front of the coffee table. “Why the hell didn’t you ever say anything to me about it then if it was so obvious?”

  “Because I thought you knew.”

  “Do you think I would be acting this way right now if I knew? You just dropped a giant bomb on me. I need a minute to think. To process.”

  The back-door slams shut moments after he leaves the room. I don’t know why he got so pissed, and that’s something I’ll have to ask him about later. Giselle is giggling on her end of the couch and I say, “Next time warn a guy before you say something that’s going to make him spray his drink everywhere.”

  “Like I told my brother, I thought he already knew.”

  “I wasn’t talking about him.” I clear my throat and she looks up as I add, “I was talking about me.”

  “Um, okay.”

  With my hands waving wide, I emphasize my now syrupy covered clothing. “I was in the blast zone. You were totally fine since he was turned away from you, but now I’m a sticky mess.”

  “Oh, boo hoo. The spoiled frat boy has a little soda on his perfect polo. Cry me a river dude.”

  “Oh, you think that’s, funny, do you?”

  She starts cackling the worst laugh I’ve ever heard before and I take off after her. I’ve got at least a foot on her, so it doesn’t take me very long to reach her, but I didn’t expect to slide across the wood floor dragging us both to the ground. With an oomph we both fall. Sliding up onto my hands and holding my body weight off of her I ask, “Still think it’s funny?”

  Her breathing comes out faster and faster. Our bodies are lined up perfectly and I can feel her heart pounding through her chest. She licks her lips as she zeroes onto my own and that is my cue to leave. Ignoring my pull to her, I get up and walk back to the bedroom. I should have never gotten up today.

  Chapter Five

  Giselle

  The sun is shining brighter than usual today without a cloud in the sky to protect me. Knowing my luck, the temperature will continue rising to record highs. Before coming down to the beach, I raided the laundry room for an empty spray bottle that I filled up with crushed ice and water. I’m already grateful I brought it with me. The small hike from the house down to the water alone has me pant
ing in my cut-off shorts and my favorite beat-up Converse tennis shoes.

  Standing in the middle of Goodwill a year ago, I almost cried right in the middle of the aisle when I came across the monochromatic black sneakers with custom embroidered hot pink flamingoes all over them. I don’t know why someone would go to all that trouble of getting them made only to toss them to the side? I questioned the previous owners’ sanity as I skipped to the register where I’m sure the cashier did the same thing toward me. Hugging them to my chest might have been a little over the top. But they looked like they hadn’t even been worn and at five dollars, it felt like robbery. No way I was leaving the building without them.

  My shoulder sighs in relief as the hefty beach bag drops to the sand in front of me. I overpacked, but I also walked almost three miles down the beach from our house to get here. The worst thing that would happen is to get here and remember something I forgot. Bending over, I hear some catcalls in the distance and I start digging my items out. Marek didn’t want me coming down here today which is precisely why I am here. He should know by now if someone tells me not to do something or that I can’t do it, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I find my bottle of Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil and drop it to the sand next to me. I thank whoever blessed me with amazing genes that I tan unlike the girls back at home who have to layer on the SPF for fear of turning into a lobster.

  So gross.

  “Hey! Look out!”

  I don’t even get the chance to turn around when something or someone slams into me tackling me to the ground. With a whoosh, my breath leaves my body and my face bounces off the sand. You’d think it would be a soft landing, but I might as well have landed on a pile of rocks. My entire body aches and I want to scream out, but I can’t catch my breath. I’m bent at an awkward angle and I ungracefully roll over onto my back and cry out at the sharp pain on the side where I was hit.

  A hand wraps around my arm and I’m suddenly aware at the roughness of the skin against my softness. I don’t dislike it in the slightest and in fact, I relish in the fact that whoever is on the other end of that hand has done a little hard work in their life. As I right myself on the sand, I’m shocked to come face to face with Anders as he pulls me up from the sand. I tilt to the side as a wave of vertigo overtakes me and he grips my arms tightly holding me in place.

  He runs his hand along my arm and in soothing tone asks, “Are you okay?”

  Coming face to face with my brother’s best friend wasn’t something that I was expecting in the slightest. Sure, I knew they were both here, but that doesn’t mean I thought he would be coming to my rescue. Or that he would even be paying enough attention to me to notice that I was tackled to the sand by some random dude. He looks down at me like he expects a reply, and it registers that he asks me a question. Am I okay? I nod my head but my mouth can’t seem to form words as Anders’ hands glide down my arms and his fingers trace circles on the small of my back. I take a small step toward him and start to lean up when suddenly he’s ripped away.

  “What the fuck, Anders? Get your hands off of her.”

  “Chill man, I was just helping her up. Some dude just pummeled her to the ground.”

  Marek’s face is bright red and his breaths come out heavy like he just ran all the way across the beach to get here and fight his best friend. “You’ve helped, now you can let go. At least six inches between you and jailbait over there.”

  Ugh. Why is my brother acting like such an asshat? “What’s your problem, Marek? It’s not like we were banging on the sand right in front of you and every other person on the beach. And I’m your sister. You’d think you’d talk a little nicer about me.”

  “First off, that’s gross, and I don’t need to be thinking about my baby sister having sex. You better still be a virgin until you’re forty. And second, if Anders even thought about touching you like that, he knows I’d kill him.”

  A scream falls from my lips as I force my hands into tight fists at my side. “Oh my gosh, don’t be such a crazy person. You wouldn’t kill anybody. Not that it matters anyway. This guy is so far up your ass he wouldn’t even sleep with me even if I was standing completely naked in front of him. So, you have seriously nothing to worry about.”

  “My god, Giselle, you’re sixteen years old, you don’t need to be thinking about getting naked with anybody.” He starts pacing the area in front of me and tugs on the ends of his hair and at the last minute adds, “and for your information, he won’t go there because it’s illegal and he respects me too much to fuck around like that.”

  Anders interjects into the conversation before I can open my mouth and says, “Yeah, as much as I enjoy watching the dueling Outlaws…I think I’m going to go. You both obviously know what’s going on in my head and I don’t need to be here for any part of this. Why don’t you just tell me how it works out later?”

  I want to go after him and tell him it’s not like that. Marek just gets me so riled up and I don’t understand why he acts like I’m such a kid. He wasn’t like this at all last year but going off to college changed him and not for the better.

  As he turns and starts walking away my brother says, “Just stop trying to grow up so much. Trust me, it’s not as fun as you think it is.”

  First of all, big brother, I’m seventeen, and you’re only two years older than me so don’t act like you have all of this life experience. And secondly, you don’t get it, Marek.” I stop myself before I say too much and instead shake my head adding, “You know what? Forget it. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  “What doesn’t matter? What aren’t you telling me?”

  I avert my gaze to the water, to the sand, anywhere but his face as I tell him what I know I have to, but I really don’t want to. My voice squeaks as I say in almost a whisper, “You’re not there. You don’t know how things have been this past year. It’s not the same.”

  I can hear his eyes roll when he responds to me acting like I’m just being a child and not so completely alone like I’ve truly been. “Look, I know it’s probably weird now that I don’t live at home anymore but—”

  “No!” I cut him off before he can continue with whatever tirade was going to come out of his mouth. “This has nothing to do with that.”

  There’s silence and I finally steal my focus from a seagull gobbling down a piece of white bread it found on the sand a mere twenty feet away from us. At this moment, I’d rather be that soggy sand covered piece of food than have this conversation with Marek.

  “Then tell me what it is about.”

  Just spit the words out. Just do it. I repeat the words over and over in my head psyching myself up for the moment I turn his life upside down and he’ll travel on that downward spiral right alongside me.

  “Dad moved out.”

  “What are you talking about?” He rears his head back and the look of shock written all over his face tells me that he truly had no idea what’s been going on at home. I almost want to call him out on that and find out when the last time he talked to either one of our parents.

  “I don’t know if he officially moved out, but he hasn’t been to the house in months. I think he’s cheating on Mom, but I don’t know for sure. She never leaves her room and when she does, she acts like there’s nothing wrong.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

  I wrap my arms around my body and curl in on myself. I haven’t talked to anyone, not even my friends about what’s been going on. It was like part of me knew if I actually said the words out loud it would make it real. Instead, I’ve spent so much of my time ignoring it. Or at least trying to.

  “How about you tell me where you’ve been, Marek? I know you’ve been at school, but when was the last time you talked to Dad? The last time you called Mom? Hell, other than a couple of texts from you including one on my birthday, I haven’t heard a damn thing from you. So when, dear brother, was I supposed to tell you what was going on?” I can feel the heat spread from my face throughout my body and my b
reathing comes out labored as I stop my ranting for one minute to take a deep breath. I’ve been holding in this information by myself for so long I guess I was bound to explode at some point. I’m just glad Anders wasn’t around when it happened.

  His gaze shifts focus to the sand at our feet instead of my face and his cheeks redden at my words. That’s what I thought. He’s been living it up while I’ve been back home suffering as our family crumbles all around me. It wouldn’t have bothered me that he was having fun at school, but the fact that he left and completely turned his back on us…on me…is what really hurts the most. Marek used to be my best friend and we did everything together.

  We stand there for what feels like hours in complete silence but it’s probably closer to fifteen minutes. Neither one of us utters a word as the rest of the world goes on around us as if absolutely nothing changed and for them, it’s the truth. They’re living their lives and having the best time ever with their friends or family having a beach day.

  I jump slightly when his arms suddenly wrap around my shoulders pulling me toward him. And he hugs me tight not letting go. I can hear the pain in his voice as it cracks when says, “I’m sorry I fucked up. I should have been there for you. I’m your big brother. It’s my job to protect you from anyone and everyone even if that includes our parents. I should have never let you go through all of this alone and I’m truly sorry. I know I can’t take it back, but I’m going to be better now.”

  Hearing those words from him releases everything I’ve been holding in. It’s been hard this past year. A lot harder than I even realized until this moment right now. I’ve been struggling and I didn’t even know it. I nod my head as I rest it against his chest and squeeze on for dear life.

  “I should have told you and you could have been there for me. I’m sorry I left you out of it.” I should leave it at that and just savor in the moment of having my old friend back, but there’s a small nagging at the back of my brain and I add, “You don’t have to save me from everyone, you know. There was nothing going on with—”