A Cordial Agreement

by Ryan Loveless

  That would get old for Grant, though. He had to think of something else to keep his interest. As Jim walked around the Musée d’Orsay, he racked his brain. Finally, he forced himself to stop. You’re in Paris to enjoy the art. So enjoy it. The day before, he’d gone to the National Museum of Modern Art. Even though he wanted to visit all the museums, he was trying to pace himself so he wouldn’t burn out. He wished Grant could be with him, but it seemed that for Grant the work trip truly lived up to its name. When Jim had grabbed him to begin the striptease, Grant had looked tired enough to fall asleep on his feet. When Jim peeked into Grant’s bedroom in the morning, Grant was fully clothed, lying diagonally on his bed with his feet hanging off, like he’d only just managed to propel himself there from the chair.

  Jim paused in front of a watercolor of an ocean and took a moment to analyze and appreciate it. He then moved on to the next painting and did the same. He’d dreamed of going to Paris, and now here he was with basically everything at his beck and call, thanks to Grant. He’d used the prearranged English-speaking guide yesterday and had learned so much. Today, he intended to request a guide after he’d walked around by himself for a bit. In his pocket, his new phone vibrated.

  After glancing around to look for any signs forbidding cell phone use, he pulled it out and whispered, “Hello?”

  “I just finished my second meeting, about to go into my third,” Grant said.

  “I’m standing in the Musée d’Orsay.”

  “Pick something and describe it to me.”

  “What?”

  “Please.”

  A toilet flushed.

  “Are you in the bathroom?” Jim asked.

  “Yes, I’m hiding in a stall because this is the only way I get any free time. And no, that flush was not mine.”

  “Okay, because I don’t think we’ve reached that stage yet.”

  “Jim.” Grant sounded fond, and Jim melted a little. “Let me hear you talk about art.”

  “Is this a thing that ‘works for both of us’?”

  “Works for me,” Grant said.

  “All right. This one is a sculpture. More of a relief, really. It’s a woman with long flowing hair. She’s kneeling, sitting on her heels and cradling her forehead and her face in one hand. The other is curled in her lap. She’s clenching her fist. She looks crushed. I can feel her despair. Like I’m drowning. It’s almost too hard to look at, but I don’t want to look away.”

  “I wish I were with you,” Grant said. “Can you imagine me there, putting my arm around you?”

  Jim tugged his jacket until it was tight against his shoulders. “Yeah.” He imagined Grant resting his head on his shoulders too. “That would be nice.”

  “I want to be there for you when you look at the sad art.”

  “I could find something happier.”

  “You look at whatever you want. Thank you for sharing this with me. I appreciate how you talked about it. You didn’t have to be this open.”

  “Well, I… I guess I wanted to be.”

  “What’s the sculpture called?”

  Jim glanced down to read the description. “Grief.”

  “Well, no wonder you related to it,” Grant said softly.

  “I can’t talk about this now.”

  “Not asking you to. Find something happy. Send me pictures, okay? All day.”

  “You’re leaving now?” Jim didn’t want to hang up until he’d shaken the way Grief had made him feel.

  “Not until I know you’re all right.”

  “But your meeting?”

  “Can wait until they send someone to find me. Come on, scavenger hunt. I won’t hang up until you find a picture of puppies.”

  Jim chuckled. “You’re on.” He hurried off on his mission, already feeling relieved of the heaviness the sculpture had settled upon him.

  Before Grant had to go, Jim found and described two beautiful paintings of cows to him, so realistic and pastoral that they brushed the line between recollection and pristine nostalgia.

  “I had no idea you held such affection for cattle,” Grant said, failing to hide his amusement.

  “These are good paintings,” Jim answered in good-natured defense of himself. Puppies were harder to come by, but Jim assured Grant that he was fine as he ended the call, feeling only a little guilty about keeping him from his meeting.

  Jim spent another moment contemplating the cow caught rubbing its head against a tree. Then, with a new spring in his step, he headed for the museum cafe to enjoy a light lunch before going to find his guide. He resolved to look into art history programs. Even if he couldn’t afford a degree, he could take a few classes. Why not show that Grant’s faith in him meant something? After his two days surrounded by art, he thrilled at the idea of delving deeper.

  ON THE flight back to New York, Jim pulled Grant’s work off his lap and tossed it into an empty seat.

  “Um,” Grant said, but he stopped his protest when Jim sat beside him and pulled Grant against his side.

  “I had a great trip. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  It seemed like Grant didn’t fully grasp how much Jim meant his gratitude, so he added, “This was just what I needed. I haven’t seen you take any of your heartburn pills either.”

  “Wait until we get closer to home.”

  “I wish I could make things easier for you,” Jim said. Grant had taken him out of New York, Jim had experienced things he never dreamed he’d see, but Grant had worked the whole time.

  “I need to cut back on my work. If I could trust Bennett to do a good job, I’d give him more responsibility. He did complete a deal recently that’s a coup for us, so maybe there’s hope. But one success does not a mogul make.”

  “Is there anyone else?” Jim asked. “You’ve got a VP or something?”

  “Harold, my COO. Though right now his main job is Bennett wrangling.”

  “So what happens if you step down? You say, ‘This is your responsibility; if you run it into the ground, that’s on you.’”

  “It’s my legacy. My father’s legacy.”

  “It’ll be Bennett’s legacy now,” Jim said. He tried to imagine Bennett in charge of the Jessup company. There were stories all the time of bad boys who make good… weren’t there? “Do you trust him with it?”

  “I believe he’ll make something of himself. I’m giving him an empire. All he has to do is not destroy it. If Bea would partner with him… or take on the majority, I’d feel a lot better. But she doesn’t have any interest.”

  “So you’re going to pop pills and develop an ulcer until then?”

  “Yes.”

  “Great plan. Maybe just think about cutting back a few hours a week? Think of one responsibility you can give Bennett that won’t bring the empire crashing down.”

  “That simple?” Grant gave him a smile.

  Jim almost melted before he realized he was being coddled. “I’m serious.”

  “Okay, I’ll try.”

  “For your health. I want you around a long time.” Jim figured this was where a normal couple would cuddle, but he didn’t want to, and Grant seemed okay with it.

  “Me too,” Grant said. “Nobody works a room like Bennett. I could put him on some of the smaller buyouts we’re planning.”

  “See? A plan already!” Jim cuffed him. “There’s something I’ve been thinking about, since our relationship is changing, and our whipping-boy arrangement is on hold until I’ve dealt with my issues. I was wondering—”

  “I can keep paying you. That’s no problem.”

  “No, I don’t want that. The money was great, but I wouldn’t feel right taking it from you when I’m not doing anything.”

  Grant nodded.

  “Plus, it’s weird now that we’re dating.”

  “Yeah.”

  “No, what I wanted to ask was, are you planning to hire anyone else to replace me? I’m going to try to get my head on straight so we can get back to it, but I just wonder
ed if, in the meantime, you were going to ask Miss Wyatt to find you someone else?”

  Grant regarded Jim carefully. “Is that something you would want me to do?”

  “If you need that, I’m not going to stop you.”

  “Jim, is that something you want me to do?”

  “It’s your life, and I’m not going to—”

  “Jim.” Grant’s previously level tone became firm and Jim snapped out of his practiced carelessness to respond.

  “No, it would kill me, all right? I know, I sat here three days ago and gave you a hall pass, but that was for sex and you thought I was crazy. But I’m telling you, please don’t do this. I’d rather it be me, whether my issues are dealt with or not. I don’t want you touching anyone else like I let you touch me. I don’t think I could stand that.” He almost couldn’t face Grant, the feeling was so overwhelming, but he made himself. Grant looked overwhelmed, too, like he couldn’t believe Jim loved him so much.

  “Jim, I can’t whip you for something that I don’t think you should feel guilty about. And I am hoping that you’re on the way to figuring out that you don’t need to feel guilty, which means that before long, you’re not going to want anyone to whip you.”

  “But if you want to—”

  “I don’t want to cause you any kind of pain. I will find another method of stress relief. Maybe one you could help with.” Grant smiled. “You give great massages. Or, maybe if you’re up for it, we could switch places.”

  “You’d let me whip you?”

  “Sure. It’s not my favorite thing, but it might be different being on the receiving end when I was in love with the person holding the implement. We could try it sometime if you wanted.”

  Jim grinned. “I’d consider it.” He wondered who else had whipped Grant. Although he’d figured Grant had some experience since he knew Miss Wyatt, he hadn’t given much thought to it.

  “If you ever want to sleep over, you have your choice of bedrooms,” Grant said.

  “Including yours?”

  “Well, if you feel like cuddling, but don’t expect me to put out,” Grant teased. “I’m sure we can come up with more ideas too. Like you said, we’ll find something that works for both of us.”

  “And you won’t hire anyone to replace me?”

  “You are irreplaceable. If I’m not doing enough to show you that, then you just wait.”

  “Uh-oh.” A little place in Jim’s stomach fluttered and unfurled, the opposite of what usually happened when someone made a comment like this. This is what it’s like with someone who understands me. “I can’t all the time. Shannon needs me.”

  “Were you worried about him this week?” Grant asked.

  “Not with Rory staying there. They’ve been having a great time.” Jim smiled. Rory was the best thing since—Shannon would have some gaming analogy that didn’t make sense to Jim. “He’s already coming along in strides since they started dating. I mean, between that and therapy and the support group.”

  “Sounds like what you’re doing.”

  “I’m trying,” Jim said. “I have a lot of penance to pay, you know?”

  “It’s not your fault,” Grant said.

  Jim wavered. “I bet you say that to all the boys.”

  Grant touched his chin. “No.”

  “Thanks. I don’t believe it yet, but if Shannon can, I better give it a chance, right?”

  “You’re pretty smart. I’m here for you always.”

  Jim nodded. His throat felt tight, but having Grant say this and look at him with such openness and commitment unlocked him. How could it be that their cordial agreement had turned into this? A pairing of understanding, respect, and love that he never dreamed he’d have.

  “May I kiss you?”

  Jim leaned over. “Yes.”

  More from Ryan Loveless

  Three facts about Tuckington Belle:

  1. Given the choice between illegally scaling the royal castle’s walls to steal flowers for a client at his family’s dress shop or going on a date with a girl his brother set him up with (“He’s fertile, and he can sew!”), Tuck will scale the wall like a spider after a fly.

  2. If, upon knocking himself unconscious when he falls off the wall, Tuck wakes up bruised, blindfolded, and inside the castle, where—based on the unearthly wails heard nightly—the prince no one has seen in ten years is probably a ghost, Tuck would still choose this over a date with a girl.

  3. Tuck thinks it’s time to admit he’s gay.

  Three facts about Prince Frederick George Deor (Read and approved with great reluctance by Lord “Protocol is Protocol. Stop Being a Pain About It” Todd):

  1. He brought a curse upon himself and now bears the skin of a snake.

  2. He can’t take his eyes off the injured thief recovering in the castle.

  3. Friendships born from lying and insisting the other person wears a blindfold can blossom into true love—which he needs to break the curse.

  To an outsider’s view, world-famous action star Joe Nestra lives the Hollywood dream—parties, women, and a high-profile divorce. In reality, Joe’s agent directs his public life. Those women he’s supposedly intimate with? Prearranged dates ending at the red carpet. With his assistant and best friend Derek Simmons’ help, Joe has lived safely in the closet since his divorce, choosing to let off steam with discreet male escorts rather than risk an actual boyfriend. At forty-four, he has no plans to change. Then, taking a role in a film without flashy explosions upends that.

  When Joe signs on to play an early 1990s-era AIDS-stricken gay man, his internalized homophobia threatens the production. His out costar Hunter Starling won’t put up with Joe’s behavior. As the animosity between Joe and Hunter grows, saving the film means Joe must face his deepest fear. Challenges pile up from all directions, from his father disowning him to the entertainment industry’s backstabbing reaction. Amid the backlash, Joe ventures into his first gay romantic relationship, tries to help others worse off, and slowly learns how to live his life instead of just acting it.

  Charlie Corcoran is the best thing about twenty-five-year old Zach Prentiss’s life. Sure, they’ve never met. Charlie’s never seen Zach from the neck up, but because of Charlie, for a few hours Zach can forget about his sick father, his falling grades, and his dwindling clientele who don’t like that he’s a rentboy who ages. With Charlie, he talks online about comics, cars, and movies. Then a new client arrives. It’s Charlie wanting sex tips… for a date with Zach. Zach goes through with the appointment, convinced it’s over if Charlie recognizes him. However, he doesn’t have long to nurse his broken heart or worry about Charlie’s before Charlie is back, wanting to take him out, introduce him to Mom, and treat him like he’s decent.

  Pop Life: Book One

  Andrew writes the songs everyone sings along with on the radio—tunes full of love, longing, and heartbreak. He has a knack for tapping into emotions, but when it comes to his own, the feelings aren’t so easy to manage. Sent to New York City to work on Irish singer Paeder Brogan’s first solo album, Andrew is caught in the middle of a boy band’s infighting and secret love affairs while battling the memories of his last trip to the Big Apple, which ended when English pop star Jamie Webster drunkenly kissed him.

  Andrew’s heart leaps when he discovers he’s staying at the same hotel as Jamie, yet he doubts Jamie recalls him, even though Andrew wrote his biggest hit. Jamie remembers him, though, and he seems to think Andrew is the only person who can save him from his downward spiral. Even as his feelings for Jamie swell, Andrew faces the real threat that the maelstrom he’s walked into will pull him down alongside Jamie.

  Pop Life: Book Two

  Sixteen years ago Keelin Nolan’s face was plastered all over tween girls’ bedrooms. Now almost forty, the former Irish boy-band star gives singing lessons in New York City. Knowing how much his friend Jordana loved Keelin, Travis Deak, twenty-seven, buys a set of lessons for Jordana and her fiancé, Malik, as a wedding gift. Travis figures Jord
ana will meet her teen idol, and Malik will be happy Jordana is happy. However, Malik knows his tone-deaf fiancée isn’t up to the difficult song she wants to perform at their wedding. He needs Travis’s help to save her from embarrassment, and Travis agrees to intervene with Keelin.

  Keelin, though, refuses to change the song behind Jordana’s back. Travis leaves feeling chastised, intrigued—and impressed with Keelin’s integrity. Likewise, Keelin admires Travis’s loyalty to his friends. An apology becomes dinner, which becomes the start of a relationship. But an unexpected visit from Keelin’s ex, Paeder Brogan, and his troubled teenaged son resets Keelin’s priorities. Now the new couple must navigate Keelin’s past to compose a harmonious future.

  RYAN LOVELESS is the author of numerous M/M romance novels and short stories. She is honored to be recognized as a Rainbow Book Award winner (several titles), an Epic eBook Awards finalist (In Me an Invincible Summer), and a Florida Author and Publisher Association bronze medalist (Ethan). She lives in New York with her family, a sentence that brings her great joy to write.

  Facebook: facebook.com/ryanlovelessbooks

  By Ryan Loveless

  A Cordial Agreement

  Ethan, Who Loved Carter

  The Forgotten Man

  The Gift

  His Cursed Prince

  In Me an Invincible Summer

  Kaden’s Colors

  Last Chance Charlie

  Off the Page

  Offside

  POP LIFE

  Pop Life

  This Is Our Love Song

  Published by Harmony Ink Press

  Ethan

  Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS

  www.dreamspinnerpress.com

  Published by

  DREAMSPINNER PRESS