Wrestling the Hulk: My Life Against the Ropes

by Linda Hogan

  My mom’s mom, Grandma Nini (as I liked to call her), had come to visit Brooke and me in Florida. It was great to have my grandmother around for some extra support and help. I told her that I might be pregnant again, but we needed proof. I took a pregnancy test. After we both watched it turn pink, Nini watched me turn white. I was pregnant and afraid to tell Terry. Sure, we had spoken about waiting to have another child, but now that I was pregnant, what was I going to do? I knew Terry was on his way home and would arrive the next day, so I waited to tell him in person. In the meantime, I asked my grandma to keep it a secret.

  The next day Terry didn’t even make it all the way through the front door before Nini blurted out, “Don’t you have something you want to tell him?” (Quick tip: Loud Italian grandmothers can’t keep secrets.) I then told Terry that I was pregnant again.

  “Why did you tell Nini before you told me?” he asked.

  “Why does that matter?” I responded.

  “How far along are you?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  Terry was angry, and he took me upstairs for a private chat. He explained that he thought that we were in agreement about waiting to have another child. He felt that this wasn’t the right time for him to be a father again, that he didn’t even know if he wanted another kid. I really didn’t understand his anger about this, since he loved Brooke so much. He punished me by giving me the silent treatment the rest of that night. I got upset and began to cry.

  The next morning, Terry seemed like he had a change of heart, but that would soon fade. He kept repeating that he thought we were going to wait. At that point, what did it matter? We had a baby growing inside of me and we loved having a family. This was God’s way.

  Although my pregnancy with Nick came as a surprise to Terry, at some point he needed to get over it. Brooke was so beautiful, and I knew that having a second child was going to be just as awesome. But Terry seemed afraid. I guess it was going to be harder for him to come and go as he pleased, and he would have more responsibility on his shoulders. At that time, he was probably going to have to curtail some of the shit he was doing that I didn’t know about.

  As months went by, surprisingly he never really warmed up to the idea of having another child. I think Terry thought I planned the pregnancy, but I didn’t. With the chaos of having a new baby, a new house, and a crazy schedule, it was hard enough to remember to brush my teeth, let alone remember to take the pill. I had a housekeeper, but no nanny, and still managed to take care of the empire we had built.

  I was afraid that the negativity surrounding my pregnancy would affect the baby in its early stages. So I called everyone I loved and told them the good news. My family was thrilled, and I quickly began to feel better about the pregnancy. Ah, some positive vibes were just what the doctor—rather, the ob-gyn—ordered.

  During my second pregnancy, Terry was cast in the starring role of another movie called Suburban Commando, to be shot on location in Los Angeles. My hometown! We made plans to move to L.A. for a few months, which I was really excited about. There’s nothing like going back home and being close to my family, especially with a baby daughter and another child on the way. I had spent so many years on the road with Terry, living in Minnesota, Connecticut, and Florida. This was a much-needed homecoming for me.

  We quickly set up shop on the West Coast. My parents let us rent a house from them that they had recently bought for spec. No first or last month’s rent. No security deposit. Just move right in! Of course, we paid them some rent, but not much. My mother helped furnish the house and got it completely ready for us, since I was pregnant and really couldn’t do much to help. I also found a new doctor in L.A. who would deliver the baby.

  Thankfully, I was not as big during this pregnancy as I was with Brooke. There were some complications though. The baby was lying sideways and deep in my body. He was positioned in my uterus in such a way that the circulation on the whole right side of my body from my vag on down was cut off. I had really bad varicose veins in my right leg. My leg was throbbing and felt like it was on fire for almost the entire nine months.

  Terry started filming the movie and we settled into our new schedule. He found a Gold’s Gym near our rental home and started training. Once in a while, I rallied and went to the gym with him. Since I was pregnant, I did what little exercise I could do. Working out together was more of a way to spend some time together than anything else.

  While at the gym a woman approached me and mentioned how much she liked my hairstyle. I was wearing it in two braided pigtails just like I always did. The woman’s name was Cory Everson, a professional bodybuilder who won Ms. Olympia six times. Her figure was absolutely flawless—lean and tan with sexy muscles. She would end up becoming better friends with Terry than with me because he was at the gym every day. I was eight months’ pregnant and it was more difficult the second time.

  A week or two later, Terry told me that he was going to start training at another gym—which Cory and her husband, Jeff, went to—that had more weights. Cory was married, so I didn’t mind her hanging out with Terry. However, I didn’t know that her husband traveled a lot for business. Terry would get up early and go to the gym near her home and train. The workouts become longer and longer and more frequent—every day, in fact. Then, his workouts went from lasting two hours to four hours.

  One afternoon, Terry and I were supposed to have lunch together after his workout. I hadn’t gone out that much since I was pregnant, so I got all dressed up. I waited for him to pick me up, but he was late. Thirty minutes went by. Then an hour. (There were no cell phones back then, so I just waited.) How could he forget? I wondered. Terry finally came home two hours late. He claimed that he was late because he wasn’t familiar with where the gym equipment was located.

  I got that sinking feeling that maybe he was doing a little more than working out with the machines. I began to think that he might be having an affair. His long workouts and crappy treatment of me left me wondering. The fact that they had so much in common with bodybuilding made me feel like an outsider. I had read that if a man has his first affair, it’s usually when his wife is pregnant. Here’s why:

  • The husband becomes jealous because he is not being shown the attention he was shown before.

  • The husband wasn’t really ready to have a child and shows anger toward the wife for getting pregnant.

  • The wife may not want to have sex during pregnancy because her body is changing—she has morning sickness and sensitive breasts and is tired and emotional.

  • A husband can’t deal with the hormonal ups and downs (aka mood swings) that his wife is experiencing during pregnancy.

  • Pregnant women can’t drink and party, so instead of the husband staying home with you and making it a Blockbuster night, he hits the bars and clubs with his friends.

  • While you and your husband are wandering around the mall shopping for maternity clothes, you notice that he has a wandering eye and is checking out newer, slimmer models.

  ON JULY 26, 1990, TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY DUE DATE, I BEGAN TO have contractions. My mom checked me into the hospital, and Terry arrived soon after. Brooke’s delivery was late, but this baby was early. You just never know. I went into the delivery room bright and early the next morning at 7:30 A.M., they prepped me, and at 8:10 A.M.—the same time that Brooke was born—I delivered an eight-pound, seven-ounce boy. He had white-blond hair, soft pink skin, and the cutest face ever. It was such a joyous occasion that I seemed to forget any anger I had toward Terry. I just held our child closely and cried with joy.

  Our new baby was so small in size compared to Brooke at birth. I thought of lots of boys’ names, but none of them seemed to suit him. For three days I held Mr. No Name in my arms, looking down at his turned-up nose, rosebud mouth, and perfect little body and wondering what to call him. Then my mom suggested Nick. I immediately liked it. Terry agreed. Nick was it! Enter stage left: Nicolas Allen Bollea.

  Nicky was always such a sweet angel
. Brooke was so smart and ahead of herself, but Nick was exactly his age. He was younger, weaker, and smaller. He had twenty thousand ear infections as a baby, and I gave him the back-to-back pink medicine every week. I just had to take extra care of him. But even at that age, he was a man’s man. Terry realized that he wasn’t just a crying mouth to feed, but a soft, sweet baby, a good boy, and his little man. Terry cared for him deeply. And Nick and I have that special mother-son bond. Nick was always sensitive, not a roughhouse type. He has never spoken a harsh word about anyone and has never talked back or raised his voice to me. As an adult, I’m sure he has dealt with the pressure of being compared to his father. But there’s only one Hulk Hogan—and Nick has always respected his father. Nick had his own dreams and never felt that he was supposed to fill his dad’s shoes.

  When I brought Nick home from the hospital, things were good for the first two weeks until Brutus, Terry’s wrestling buddy and party animal extraordinaire, moved in with us in California. He was recovering from surgery after a parasailing accident. When the accident happened, it was pretty scary because Brutus almost died. Terry felt better knowing that his friend was in his house getting the best care possible. I have always been the nurturing type, so as Brutus recovered in the bed upstairs I brought him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. With two babies also under the same roof, I had my hands full. Brutus had broken bones throughout his face and his jaw was wired shut, which meant I had to cook a soft diet for him. Not to mention, I cooked a protein-packed diet for Hulk. It was Mickey Mouse pancakes for Brooke and formula for Nick.

  At the end of the day after taking care of everybody, I was wiped out. I certainly didn’t feel like having sex or initiating it. I think Terry knew not to bug me. It ran through my mind that maybe he was getting sex somewhere else. To me, there was no excuse to go outside of our marriage. I don’t think he realized what I was really going through on my end taking care of two kids and his friend. I was putting myself out there for Terry, and I didn’t feel like I was getting anything back from him emotionally or physically.

  When Nick stopped nursing, I got a nanny to watch the kids while I went to the gym to work out and try to get my bod back in shape. I thought it would be okay if I left the house for just an hour or so to do something for myself. I mean, how much can one really take of cleaning drooling faces, changing bandages, and washing dishes? And then there were the kids! When I told Terry that I wanted to work out with him again, I was shocked when he said that he didn’t want to go to the same gym together. He told me that he liked the gym equipment better at another gym, which was the same gym where Cory trained. As I mentioned, the workouts had become longer and longer. Between the workouts and his film schedule, I wouldn’t see him till the wee hours of the next morning! Something was wrong with that picture, and I had that uneasy feeling again that something was going on between them. Although I was scared of Terry’s reaction, I did accuse him of sleeping with Cory. Terry denied it and went on to make me feel like a crazy, hormonal, insecure wife. I had two young children and I wanted to think the best. I wanted to believe him. So I made excuses for the entire situation. He always made me doubt myself, and I eventually started believing him. Yeah, I must be crazy, I thought. I’m okay looking, a good mom, wife, homemaker. I would have liked to have had exciting sex with him. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so angry and doubtful? Besides he’s a guy who has it all. Why would he ever want to screw it up?

  Truth is, I wasn’t insecure. I was aware. This scenario would go on for years. Eventually, I began reading about how to be a better wife, and then realized I already was a good wife! I turned to books about how not to be a victim, how men love bitches, and I tried not to be a pushover—yearning to keep his respect. And then I read books about infidelity, just wondering, what are the signs? How can I really tell? It was so hard, but I slowly started to pay more attention to details, how I was feeling, and how he was acting.

  Terry was busy filming Suburban Commando, so he was gone all day and wouldn’t return home until very late at night. I never really knew exactly where Terry was or who he was with the majority of the time.

  When Terry’s workouts with Cory hit the four-hour mark every day, the anger began to mount. It really bugged me, and I was at the end of my rope. Was I paranoid? Insecure? Or was my husband having an affair? I needed to put my mind at ease and make sure that Terry was a man of his word. So I hired a private investigator. Honestly, I was disappointed that I had to take this measure and equally scared that Terry might find out. If he ever did, I knew that he could react violently because he was taking a lot of steroids and a never-ending flow of pain pills. Remember, these are hormones that create highs and lows like you could never imagine. I never knew what mood Terry would be in or what I would have to contend with on a daily basis. Ironic, but he was the hormonal one!

  The investigator posed as a gym member and watched Terry and Cory work out for three days straight. What he witnessed was the two of them training, but mostly touching and Cory rubbing Terry’s shoulders and neck as he sat on one of the machines in between sets. After their workout, Terry got in her car and they drove to her house. They went inside together for about thirty to forty-five minutes. Then they came outside and drove back to the gym in her car. They parted ways with a kiss good-bye in the parking lot, and both drove off.

  Later I asked Terry where he had been. He said he and Cory had a bite to eat and then he stopped at the vitamin store. That might have been true, but why didn’t he mention stopping over at Cory’s house and riding in her car with her?

  The investigator said he couldn’t follow them inside of her house, so he didn’t actually have proof of a sexual encounter. But, in his experience, he said that from how they acted and the body language they displayed that my husband was probably having an affair. That was all I needed to hear.

  Hearing the investigator say they were probably having an affair sickened me. I remember saying to Terry, “Why do you have to keep training with Cory?” I wonder if Cory’s now-ex-husband ever realized how much time they spent together.

  I didn’t know what to think. The last thing that you want to believe is that your husband is fucking around on you. If I really had known for a fact that he was having an affair with Cory, I would have left him. But that little strain of uncertainty kept me wondering and I stayed. It puts that element of the unknown in your lap. Then you’re faced with having to deal with looking at yourself in the mirror. What the fuck is really happening here, Linda? I asked myself, confused as hell. Look in the mirror. What is going on? Listen to your little voice. Listen to your heart of hearts.

  On the one hand, I didn’t want to sit there and imagine something that wasn’t there. On the other hand, I didn’t want to lie down and have someone run over me. I didn’t know which direction to go in. It was truly confusing.

  Because I didn’t have proof that something was going on, my mother and my family said that I didn’t really know for sure if he was cheating. They felt I needed to make my marriage work. I had two babies and what was I going to do? Where was I going to go? What would the kids think of me later in life if I pulled them away from their dad? I didn’t want my emotions to get the best of me. When I looked at the situation, leaving was overwhelming. I took the path of least resistance. I really never knew if he had the affair. I still don’t know, but I will always have that intuition.

  Innocent until proven guilty, I guess.

  Chapter Six

  The Other Woman

  LIVING IN CALIFORNIA WHILE TERRY FILMED HIS movie ended up being miserable! As soon as Brutus was feeling better and had recovered from his injuries, Terry started taking him to the movie set. The party was back on. All of a sudden two female assistants from the film crew were coming to the house every morning and the four of them all rode in the limo that the film company sent for Terry every day. I feel Brutus always set a bad example for Terry. He was a party animal and a risk taker. He’s one of those guys who probably should be dead by
now. He was still single and whenever they hung out, they always ended up in a strip club.

  With Terry now a father of two, I didn’t like him hanging out with Brutus any longer. Brutus always had a new stripper on his arm in every city. What’s Terry doing with him when they’re out of town? I wondered. Does Terry have a stripper, too? Since I had a new life that centered around the children, I couldn’t go to every city anymore. Now my suspicions shifted from Cory Everson to the two female assistants on the film set. It was always a constant worry, and I got tired of second-guessing everything. Why would he have those girls riding to the set with him and Brutus instead of meeting them there? I wondered. That certainly didn’t seem like standard procedure. Let me tell you, it makes it hard to go about your day when you have that constant mind fuck going on. It hurt me that Terry never considered how it would feel if the shoe were on the other foot! But I do know it made me feel like an ass when I showed up on the set with the children.

  In the background, I had my mom, who had been married forever, always telling me to stick through it and not leave. She always found a way for me to forgive Terry and make amends for his actions, blaming it on the stress of his career. My parents understood that Terry had a high-pressure job and was in the public eye. Although they didn’t think he was so great before we were married, they were now very proud that I was married to somebody so famous. They liked seeing the money roll in and me living well. But they weren’t fully aware of what went on behind the scenes.

  My mom and dad weren’t about to tell me to just divorce him. If you’re a good friend and care about somebody who is having problems in their marriage, you’re probably going to tell them to work through it. Ironically, my father as a policeman often had the same pissed-off attitude that Terry had when he came home from work. My mother taught me that you don’t want to anger them further because it will only make matters worse. Let them get a good night’s sleep and when you both wake up the next morning, start fresh. That mind-set encouraged me to continue to be the bigger person in our marriage. I tried to make every day a new day. Who knows if it was the right or wrong advice back then? I just accepted it because I couldn’t make a decision for myself at that point. I had to focus on the big picture. Allowing myself to doubt every little flaw would have made me crazy. I didn’t want to constantly barrage Terry with questions about every detail of his trip or about who was on the phone. I didn’t want him to see me as an insecure, nagging wife. I wanted him to think he had to keep up with me!