Break the Ice (Road Trip Romance Book 10)

by A. K. Evans

  At that, I said goodbye to Marley’s mom and walked back to my car so I could get to school on time. Throughout the day, my mind drifted to my best friend. I hoped she was doing okay and feeling better. That afternoon, at lunchtime, I sent her a text message asking her how she was feeling, but she didn’t respond. I assumed she must have been sleeping.

  By the time the school day was over, I barely took five minutes to talk to anyone else. I wanted to get back home and check on Marley.

  I knew her parents would both be at work, so I hoped she was at least feeling well enough to come and open the door.

  But when I arrived, I got the shock of my entire life. It was, by far, the worst day of my whole life.

  I rang the doorbell, and a moment later, the door opened. Marley answered, looking as though she hadn’t slept in days.

  My initial thought was that maybe she started feeling worse as the day went on and needed to go see a doctor now.

  “Hey, I wanted to stop by and check on you,” I told her. “Your mom told me this morning when I stopped by to pick you up that you haven’t been feeling good since Friday night.”

  “That’s what I told her,” she replied. “But it was only a partial truth.”

  My brows pulled together. That made no sense. Marley wasn’t the kind of person to make up stories to tell her parents, or anyone else, for that matter. Not only that, but Marley seemed unable to make eye contact with me.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  She shook her head, and tears filled her eyes. “No, I’m not.”

  There was such a rough edge to her voice, but I couldn’t work out what it was all about. She sounded nothing like herself.

  “Is it still your stomach? Is there something I can do?” I questioned her. I’d do anything to help make her feel better.

  “You can forget you know me,” she answered a little too quickly.

  I jerked back at the harshness in her tone and gasped, “What?”

  “You heard me, Mack,” she declared. “I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”

  “I… you… what?” I stammered.

  Marley shook her head, a look of disgust written all over her face. “Don’t play stupid with me, Mack.”

  What had gotten into her?

  Nothing about the girl standing in front of me was the Marley I knew. The sweet, compassionate girl I’d grown to love was gone and replaced by someone I couldn’t even recognize. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I was staring at her and could see she looked like Marley, I wouldn’t have believed it was her.

  “Marley, I have no idea what you are talking about,” I insisted. This was all coming out of left field. I didn’t understand it.

  She narrowed her eyes at me, and I would have given anything to know what was going through her mind. She never shared. Instead, she ordered, “Just go. And please don’t ever contact me again.”

  This had to be a nightmare. My mind was playing tricks on me, seeing how I would react to my biggest fear becoming a reality. If I didn’t wake up soon, this was surely going to break me. I couldn’t lose her.

  “Please talk to me, Marley. Tell me what’s going on,” I begged.

  Desperation had kicked in. I was willing to do anything to understand what had come over her. I couldn’t leave here. I couldn’t walk away without knowing what had gone wrong, so I could make it right.

  She shook her head, struggling not to break down into tears. “No. You know exactly what you did, Mack. I never want to speak to you again.”

  Marley couldn’t do this to me. To us. I would never survive it. “I don’t. Just tell me whatever it is, and I’ll fix it,” I promised.

  I didn’t care what it was. I would do anything to fix it.

  My best friend rolled her eyes at me and glared. I’d never seen her like this, and with each second that passed without her laughing to tell me she was just joking, the worse and worse I felt. The situation was growing more dire as each second ticked by, and I could feel myself losing the best person in my whole world.

  “Our friendship meant nothing to you,” she seethed.

  I jerked back, losing my footing, and barely managing to keep myself upright. How could she ever say something so horrible? “Our friendship means everything to me, Marley. You mean everything to me.”

  I could barely recognize the sound of my own voice. I’d moved well beyond desperation. Anguish and misery had taken hold of me. The only thing keeping me together was the fact that she was still here, standing in front of me.

  “Really?” she asked.

  I nodded. “I’ll prove it to you. Anything you want.”

  A sad smile formed on her face, and I could tell she was struggling not to lose her cool. She didn’t want to cry, even though everything inside her was making it nearly impossible to avoid. I’d known her all my life. I could read her like a book, and I knew she was fighting an internal battle right now.

  Unfortunately, the wrong part of her won, and she demanded, “I want you to never speak to me again. Don’t call me, don’t text me, and don’t stop over. Nothing. If I ever meant anything to you, you’ll give me this and you won’t fight me.”

  “Marley,” I rasped, feeling myself on the verge of a complete breakdown.

  She couldn’t be serious. She didn’t really mean that.

  Clearly, I was wrong. Marley meant every word of it. Because the next thing I knew, she stepped back, closed the door on my face, and left me standing there completely dumbfounded. I’d never felt so horrible in my entire life.

  Something had happened to my best friend, and I had no idea what it was.

  For a long time, I couldn’t move. I simply stood there, waiting for something to come to mind that would explain what had just happened.

  But no explanations came.

  And Marley never opened her door again.

  So, I had no choice but to walk away, not realizing it was the worst decision of my life.

  But if Marley needed me to prove to her that she was important to me and meant everything by not calling her or talking to her, then that’s what I would do. Once she got what she thought she needed, she’d see how much I cared, and she’d come back to me. We’d talk, and we’d work it out.

  I didn’t know if I truly believed that would happen, but I had to keep telling myself it would. The alternative was too painful to admit.

  Even still, every single day that passed after that without Marley being in my life, the way she had always been, was like slowly losing a piece of myself. I was in agony, and I was certain it was because I’d experienced heartbreak for the first time in my life.

  I was convinced I’d never get over it.

  Marley

  It had been the most difficult thing I’d ever done.

  Lying.

  Lying to my mom this morning about me still not feeling well. Lying to Mack this afternoon about how he could prove he cared about me. And lying to myself all weekend long that I’d be fine if I just gave myself some time.

  None of it was true.

  Or maybe part of it was.

  Because the reality was that I guess I did feel a little sick. It just wasn’t me being sick in the traditional sense. The thought of going to school, of facing Mack, and of waiting for whatever new rumor he had asked Kelsey to spread about me to start circulating made me feel a bit nauseous, though.

  But I couldn’t pretend to be legitimately sick forever. Sooner or later, I’d have to go back to school. And the worst part about it all was that I’d have to add another lie to the mix.

  Mack and I had been best friends.

  How was I going to explain the fact that we were no longer riding to school together? What would I tell my mom when she asked why he didn’t pick me up for school in the morning? What was I going to tell our friends when they asked why I didn’t want to be around them if he was going to be around?

  It would have to be more lies.

  Because I couldn’t fathom telling them the truth. The tru
th hurt too much. Even if he was the one solely to blame, how was I supposed to speak the words he’d spoken to Kelsey? How could I actually admit that I’d trusted him like nobody else, only for him to destroy that friendship with such cruel and vicious rumors?

  And seeing him today.

  I didn’t know how Mack could stand there, look me in the eye, and lie to my face. How could he pretend he didn’t know what he’d done? How could he claim to care about me when he betrayed me the way he did? Worst of all, how had I fallen for someone who could do what he’d done to me?

  Had he been hoping that I would simply do the things that were being said about me? Is that what he wanted?

  There were so many questions running through my mind. Yet, no matter how badly I wanted answers to all of them, I knew I’d never get them. Because I’d never speak to Mack again. And I’d never tell anyone else about it so they could find answers for me.

  It was what it was, and that was it.

  My friendship with Mack was as good as done. Answers to questions like that wouldn’t change the fact that he’d done the worst possible thing he could do to me.

  Shutting the door on him mere seconds ago was awful. Because while it felt like it was the only thing that I could do to preserve any shred of dignity, it was also closing the door on my longest and most meaningful friendship.

  Despite the fact that our friendship meant nothing to Mack, it meant the world to me. To hold on to that, I could have ignored what I heard him say to Kelsey on Friday night. I could have pretended I’d heard nothing just to keep him in my life.

  Because now he was gone.

  And though the rational part of my brain knew that it had been absolutely necessary to cut him out in order to salvage my self-respect, it was my heart that was utterly crushed. All I felt was devastation and despair.

  I’d never get it back. I’d never have him in my life again.

  Nothing would be the same.

  School would never be the same. Outings with friends would never be nearly as fun. And watching cooking shows would be miserable at best.

  Coming to that realization, I was tempted to open the door and go after him. But my pride wouldn’t allow me to do it.

  So, in the confines of my own home, with nobody there to witness it, I allowed my emotions to pour out of me. I allowed all the hurt and sorrow I felt to leak from my eyes as my body became consumed by sobs.

  And when I woke up the next morning, I faked it.

  I lied to myself and pretended that it didn’t matter that my life was forever changed. I acted like I didn’t care that, for the first time ever, I drove myself to school. And I gave off the impression that I was better off without Mack with each class I entered that we had together.

  No matter how much it hurt deep down inside, I never let it show. Nobody knew that I was devastated over the loss of my friendship with Mack.

  And he made things easy for me because he honored my wishes. He pretended just like I did. He pretended he never even knew me.

  I should have been grateful. This was precisely what I had asked him for. And I guess, to some extent, I was relieved he didn’t push for explanations.

  But deep down, it was killing me.

  Because not only was I in misery not having him in my life, but I also questioned how he could walk away so easily if I truly meant something to him.

  I’d never know.

  The only good thing about me no longer being friends with Mack was that the rumors stopped that very same week.

  Stupidly, I secretly wished for the rumors to return. Because I was willing to accept those if it meant that I could go back and have him in my life.

  Twelve

  Marley

  Present Day

  “Please talk to me, Marley. Tell me what’s going on.”

  I shook my head, refusing to cry. “No. You know exactly what you did, Mack. I never want to speak to you again.”

  “I don’t. Just tell me whatever it is, and I’ll fix it,” he replied.

  He was such a liar. I couldn’t believe I ever trusted him and thought he was a good guy. He wasn’t a good guy at all.

  “Our friendship meant nothing to you,” I seethed.

  Mack stumbled back, nearly falling because he had stumbled so badly, and he seemed genuinely surprised by my words. But it was an act. It was all an act. “Our friendship means everything to me, Marley. You mean everything to me.”

  “Really?” I asked.

  He nodded. “I’ll prove it to you. Anything you want.”

  A sad smile formed on my face. I was seconds away from breaking down and needed to get out of there. “I want you to never speak to me again. Don’t call me, don’t text me, and don’t stop over. Nothing. If I ever meant anything to you, you’ll give me this and you won’t fight me.”

  “Marley,” he rasped.

  The sound of his voice was almost too much to bear. I stepped back, closed the door, and locked it. Then I ran to my bedroom and climbed into bed, where I burst into tears.

  All I could hear was the tortured sound of his voice ringing in my head for the rest of the night.

  My eyes shot open as I sat up with a gasp.

  I hadn’t recalled that conversation with Mack in years. For so long, I only ever remembered the conversation I’d overheard between him and Kelsey.

  Now that we’d been stuck in this house alone together for the past couple of days, I had to wonder if that was why this particular conversation popped into my head and disrupted my sleep.

  Sitting in the middle of the dark room, I heard the faint howling of the wind outside.

  There was no way I was going back to sleep now, not with all of this on my mind.

  I got myself up and out of the bed. After a quick trip to the bathroom, I quietly crept upstairs and looked out the window. It was still dark outside, but there were exterior lights on many of the homes that allowed me to see what was happening.

  The weather was horrible.

  Snow was whipping around the house, indicating just how strong the wind was. Spots that had been clear of snow yesterday were completely covered.

  I was no meteorologist, but I knew my friends wouldn’t be joining Mack and me later today. Even if the weather wasn’t this bad in Lily Canyon, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that the road leading up to the resort would be closed.

  Too much snow had already fallen, and it was continuing to fall with no signs of it letting up. I was willing to wager a bet that Mack and I wouldn’t be able to go out riding either. The lifts would be entirely too dangerous with winds like this. In fact, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the resort shut them down if the wind continued.

  It seemed everything was falling into place today for me to finally face the situation. I needed to talk to Mack. I needed the truth.

  Because now that I’d spent years forcing him to keep his distance after what he did with Kelsey, he’d somehow found a way back in. I’d willingly let him, and after waking up because that dream made me recall that utter anguish in his voice, I was beginning to question everything.

  I didn’t know how much time had passed, but I knew I had been sitting there on the couch in front of the fireplace a long while. The sun had even started to rise.

  I heard Mack’s footsteps on the stairs.

  I didn’t move. I remained in that spot on the couch, my eyes focused on the crackling fire.

  Mack came into my peripheral. “Hey,” he said softly. “You’re up early. Everything okay?”

  It was now or never. Given where things were now and the constant conflict between my head and my heart, I had no choice but to talk about it.

  Nobody would be coming here today, so I knew I’d be able to have this discussion with him and we could both process it without the worry of others getting involved.

  But that also meant that I had to be prepared for the fact that if I didn’t like what I was hearing or if things got heated between Mack and me, there was nowhere to go. Not in this weather
.

  I wasn’t going to be a coward any longer. Time to speak up.

  “Why did you do it?” I asked, finally turning my attention to him.

  Genuine curiosity washed over him. “Do what?” he countered.

  “If you were honest with me when you said you had no idea what you’d done wrong, why did you stop talking to me?” I clarified.

  Realization dawned on his face, and I watched as he tentatively took a seat on the opposite end of the couch from me. Clearly, Mack hadn’t woken up this morning expecting this conversation.

  Nevertheless, he answered, “Because you told me that the only way to prove that you meant anything to me was to give that to you. You said you never wanted me to speak to you again. I guess I hoped that when you realized I was honoring your wishes, you’d see that you meant the world to me.”

  “But did I really mean the world to you?” I asked him.

  “Absolutely.”

  He said it with such conviction. How could he do that and know that he was the one spreading all the rumors about me?

  I took some time to consider this, and it gave Mack the time he needed to add a bit more on to his answer.

  “I don’t know what it was that took you away from me, Marley, but I can promise you that losing you back then was the worst moment of my life,” he started. “I could barely function for weeks. And even though I eventually pulled myself together and did something with my life, I’ve never stopped hating myself for giving you what you wanted. Both of my mom’s parents died and my dad’s dad died over the years that we didn’t talk. Their deaths hurt, but they never even came close to touching the pain I felt not having you in my life.”

  God, that was intense. And brutal.

  “So, why did you do it?” I asked, feeling my throat tighten.

  “I just told you,” he said. “You told me that was how I could prove you meant something to me. As a stupid teenager, I listened. I’d never do that now.”

  Shaking my head, I explained, “No, Mack. I want to know why you betrayed me.”

  “Marley, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never betrayed you. And for years, I’ve tried to figure it out.”