My Anti-Marriage

by D. J. Jamison

  One of those things was more difficult to obtain than the others.

  Harry groaned. “I can’t go over there yet. Hang with me at the bar?”

  Ant turned his attention away from Chris. “I can’t exactly go over there either,” Ant said wryly. “So, sure.”

  Harry ordered a beer. Then they took seats a few feet down the bar from the bartender, who Ant was relieved to see had found someone new to flirt with. Once they were settled with their backs to the men causing them grief, Ant asked, “So, I know why I’m in the doghouse. What happened with you and Bret?”

  Harry grimaced. “It’s humiliating.”

  Ant arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure I’m the guy to commiserate with?”

  “We don’t know each other that well. That makes it easier, honestly, but we don’t have to talk about it.” He took a gulp of beer. “Why are you in the doghouse?”

  Ant let Harry take the out. “Things with Chris are complicated.”

  “Understatement.”

  Ant huffed a laugh. “Yeah.”

  Harry had been at the poker table when Ant talked to Riley about his few dates with Chris, but Ant felt the need to reaffirm. “I never cheated, but he still won’t let me set the record straight.”

  Harry took another drink of beer, looking thoughtful. “So, you really didn’t have anything going with this other guy who burst in on your date? Chris told me the basics of what happened. Sounded pretty damning.”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Because it would be understandable if you hadn’t yet gotten everything in order. Maybe you were seeing other guys, but you intended to stop? You and Chris had been on a few dates, but you hadn’t slept together or committed to anything. Right?”

  Ant rapped the bar with his knuckles, irritated. “You’re not hearing me. Raul was my ex. It was over.”

  Harry grinned cheekily. “Sorry. Just had to make sure.”

  Ant rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his beer. He plonked it down and lifted a hand to the bartender to get a fresh one.

  “Chris hates to be wrong.”

  Ant glanced at him. “I’ve noticed.”

  Harry smiled fondly. “He’s a good friend. He’s been our organizer, keeping us in line when we have fallings out, and he’s got our backs one hundred percent. Any guy would be lucky to be with him, you know? That’s why it’s so hard to watch him sabotage himself.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Chris has been burned,” Harry said. “He has had some legitimately creepy boyfriends. One guy practically stalked him until Chris got a restraining order and pretended to date Riley for a while.”

  Damn, stalking?

  “That’s awful,” he said, not liking to think of Chris in that scary situation. “Now I get why he was so guarded at times.”

  Ant couldn’t help glancing over at Riley, though. He stood with his arm slung over Brad’s shoulders, far from a threat on the eve of his wedding. Ant still didn’t like to picture Chris in Brad’s place.

  “Chris and Riley just pretended to date, though?”

  Harry shrugged. “They slept together years ago. That what you want to hear?”

  “No,” Ant growled. “Did you ever sleep with him?”

  Harry smirked. “Do I look like his type?”

  Ant relaxed a fraction. With blond hair and a fair complexion, he looked more like Chris’s brother than his boyfriend. Riley, on the other hand, was tall, built, and dark-haired. Assuming Ant was Chris’s type, then Riley probably was too. But not Harry. Thank God for small favors.

  “Guess not,” Ant allowed. “None of my business anyway.”

  “Not really,” Harry agreed. “Look, I’m not trying to make you jealous. I’m just saying, Chris had a few bad experiences, and now he turns on the self-detonate countdown whenever he meets a guy. Like clockwork, a few weeks into a relationship, boom! It’s over.”

  Ant frowned. “You really think it’s Chris’s fault?”

  “Not exactly,” Harry said. “I think he looks for weak points in the relationship, finds the crack that will make everything fall apart, and applies pressure.”

  “And you think that’s what happened with me?”

  “No,” Harry said. “Having a guy show up and make you look like a cheater? That was a great, gaping chasm.”

  “But—”

  Harry held up a finger, speaking over him. “BUT it might be why he doesn’t want to hear you out. Maybe he even suspects he ran scared, and he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.” Harry shrugged. “Or maybe I’m clueless. Considering Bret’s over there and I’m over here, I can’t be too much of an expert, can I?”

  “So, what happened then?” Ant said. “You and Bret seem so solid.”

  “We are,” Harry said.

  His whole demeanor changed. He dropped his eyes, picking at the label on his beer bottle, and fidgeted on the stool.

  “Something’s wrong, though?”

  Harry shrugged. “I should be grateful,” he said quietly. “Bret loves me. We live together, and we have a life together.” He glanced over, smiling at Bret. “It’s enough.”

  Ant tried to decipher the hidden message, but he was missing something. He nudged Harry’s knee. “Go talk to him, yeah? He looks pretty miserable.”

  Harry took a deep breath. “Yeah. Good idea.”

  “Isn’t a marriage proposal good news?” Chris asked Bret, baffled by his grim expression. He’d been kind of surprised when he found out Riley popped the question before Harry. He’d figured these two might just be taking their time to plan a more formal wedding, though.

  Bret nodded. “Yes, but … you know. It’s a lifetime commitment.”

  “I’m aware,” Chris said dryly, darting a glance over to Ant and Harry, locked into their own conversation. Probably something a hell of a lot lighter than this one.

  “And I’m asexual, so …”

  Suddenly it clicked. Chris laid his hand on Bret’s wrist, squeezing it. “Don’t be an idiot.”

  Bret looked offended. “Excuse me?”

  “Harry loves you to pieces,” Chris said. “Do you know how much I would give to have something like that?”

  “But it’s one thing to date a guy, to suppress your urges for him for a few years. But your whole life?”

  Chris mulled that over. When Harry first told him about meeting a guy not into sex, Chris would have said that was a hard pass for him. But somehow, Harry had made it work. Chris didn’t know the ins and outs of their sex life, but he got the impression they had one. It was just … different.

  “Shouldn’t that be Harry’s decision to make?” he said at last.

  Bret looked miserable. “I just don’t want to be a regret.”

  There was that word again: regret. Maybe Chris should cut Ant some slack for not wanting to be a regret. It seemed everyone had those fears. It suggested to Chris that Ant must care for him, at least a little, if he didn’t want to cause him that pain. Why else would Ant care what Chris thought later?

  Bret continued, unaware of Chris’s churning thoughts. “When Harry’s on his deathbed, what if he thinks, I wish I’d married Brad instead?”

  Chris barked a laugh. “Brad? That’s not a pairing any of us ever imagined.”

  Bret waved a hand. “You know what I mean. Some sort of super sexy partner.”

  Chris smiled, shaking his head. “Honestly, Bret, I think by the time Harry’s on his deathbed, sex won’t be much on his mind. I hope he lives to a ripe, old, impotent age.”

  Bret snorted, nearly choking on his swallow of beer. “Maybe you have a point.”

  “Dude, you know Harry sowed his oats before you came on the scene. You’re not depriving him of anything.”

  Bret nodded. “It’s not easy for him, though. I see that.”

  “I bet it’s not easy for you either.”

  Bret looked surprised. “You know, not everyone sees that.”

  Chris did some reading after he learned Harry was dating an asexual. H
e knew there was a wide spectrum, and he didn’t know where exactly Bret fell. But he knew that Harry and Bret weren’t going to have the same sexual drive or needs, and that had to be a challenge on both sides.

  “You both have to work at it to meet in the middle, right? I’m just guessing,” Chris said. “But you love each other, so you compromise.”

  Chris had finished his absinthe at this point, and he felt a clarity come over him. “If I ever have that kind of love, I won’t let fear stop me.”

  “Really?” Bret challenged. “What about Ant?”

  Chris opened his mouth, then closed it. What about Ant? That was the million-dollar question. Chris’s hyperfocused mind supplied him with a few answers that had been eluding him up until now.

  “Ant’s not a bad guy. It was just easier to believe he was, so I could blame him for everything. But it’s not his fault we got drunk married. He didn’t pour the shots down my throat. If anything, it was the other way around.”

  “Wait, what? Married?”

  “Oops?” Chris grinned awkwardly. He hadn’t meant to tell Bret that part.

  Bret laughed, placing one hand over the side of his face. “Oh my God. Chris! That’s what you didn’t want Brad and Riley to know?”

  “Yeah. I freaked out at first, but Ant’s been a good guy. I can’t pretend anymore that he’s not.”

  “He really likes you.”

  “You think?”

  “Chris, it’s obvious to everyone but you. He asks after you all the time. He comes out with us in an attempt to be near you. Pretty sure this whole trip was just a chance for him to get closer to you.”

  “Well, he got that. Doesn’t get much closer than marriage.”

  “Holy crap,” Bret said. “What are you going to do?”

  “Get it annulled, I guess,” Chris said. “Or maybe … not? Would that be crazy?”

  “Uh, yeah! You have to get it annulled.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I should go call a lawyer right now.” Chris pushed back his chair and stood, only to stumble into a wall of muscle. Hands came down on his shoulders, and he glanced back to see Ant. Harry was with him, hovering awkwardly by the table.

  “Let’s give these two some space,” Ant said.

  Chris nodded, following Ant across the room.

  “How was the absinthe?” Ant asked.

  “Enlightening.”

  He smiled tentatively. “Yeah?”

  Chris stepped closer, gripping Ant’s waist. “I’ll listen to you, if you want,” he said. “But if you say you’re not a cheater, I believe you. We don’t have to rehash the past.”

  Ant blew out a breath, leaning his head down on Chris’s shoulder. “I needed that.”

  Chris placed a hand on his head, stroking through soft, brown hair. “Want to get out of here?”

  Ant lifted his head, looking Chris in the eye. “I didn’t blow my chance?”

  Chris shook his head. “Not yet.”

  “Then let’s go.”

  Chapter Nine

  Chris stumbled into his room, locked in a kiss with Ant. They crashed together much as they had before, but without the hesitancy now that they were on the same page.

  Ant’s large hands cupped Chris’s ass, lifting him off the floor, and Chris gasped a laugh against his mouth. “You’re strong.”

  “Better believe it,” Ant rumbled, holding Chris so tight to his body Chris could feel the hard bar of Ant’s cock prodding into him. It felt deliciously thick, and Chris rocked against it as Ant stumbled to the bed.

  Chris was lowered gently to the mattress, Ant’s body coming down over his. Ant felt so big, so hard, as he pressed into Chris everywhere. His bulk was reassuring even as it pinned Chris like a butterfly. He struggled to lift his hips, seeking friction for his aching cock, and devoured Ant’s mouth as if it was his last meal.

  Ant pushed himself up on his arms, his muscles popping as they took his weight. It gave Chris his first easy breath of air since they’d dropped onto the bed, but it also took Ant’s lips and body away. Chris made a sound of complaint, lifting his head to chase the kiss.

  Ant chuckled. “Easy, sweetness. I’ll take care of you.”

  Chris settled for kissing Ant’s chin and throat, unable to reach his mouth. His hands found their way under Ant’s shirt and pushed it up. He needed Ant’s skin against his, his muscle pressing into him.

  “Then get on with it,” he murmured, catching Ant’s nipple between his teeth as Ant tugged off his shirt. Ant arched with a groan, shirt tangled around his arms. Chris took full advantage of his momentary entrapment to work over both his nipples, biting one while he rolled the other in his fingers.

  Ant got his shirt off with a growl and pushed Chris down on the bed. “You’re trouble.”

  Chris grinned up at him. “Better punish me.”

  Ant lifted Chris’s leg and slapped his ass before popping the button on his jeans and peeling them from his body.

  “Jesus Christ,” Ant panted as he fought fabric clinging to Chris’s sweaty limbs, “how did you breathe in these fucking things?”

  “Carefully,” Chris said with a laugh. “They worked, though, didn’t they?”

  “How?” Ant asked distractedly as he finally got them down Chris’s legs and yanked off his shoes to pull them free.

  “Got you back in my bed. Right where I wanted you.”

  Ant slapped Chris’s ass, making him jump at the sudden searing pain. The crack of Ant’s palm against now bared flesh was loud in the room.

  “Oh, shit,” Ant said, smoothing his palm over Chris’s stinging skin. “I thought you’d have underwear, sorry.” He traced the waistband of the jockstrap Chris wore. “This is sexy as fuck.”

  Chris felt a flush working its way through his body as Ant leaned down to kiss his inner thigh, then nuzzle his balls.

  “Kinda necessary with jeans that tight.”

  Ant huffed a laugh onto Chris’s cock, his breath warming it through the fabric.

  Chris moaned, pushing his hips up. “Take the damn thing off.”

  Ant grinned at him mischievously, but he followed orders, hooking his fingers in the waistband and dragging off the jockstrap. Chris’s cock sprang up, slapping his belly. It was flushed dark red and aching for Ant’s mouth.

  Seeing the way Ant looked at him, at his hard cock, gave Chris a renewed sense of power. He gripped the base of his cock and tilted it toward Ant’s mouth. “Want a taste?”

  “You know I do.”

  Ant’s large hands gripped Chris’s hips, immobilizing him, and hot, wet heat enveloped Chris’s length as Ant swallowed him down.

  Chris groaned, the sound dragged from somewhere deep in his chest. “Fuck, Ant.”

  Ant moaned around his cock in reply, the vibration of his voice sending another shudder of pleasure through Chris.

  He tried to move, to thrust, but Ant’s grip was like iron. He had no choice but to lie there and take whatever Ant chose to give him. Granted, what Ant gave him was pretty fantastic. But Chris wanted more than to lie passive and let Ant suck out his cum.

  He slipped a hand into Ant’s hair, dragging his head up. Ant resisted at first, as if he couldn’t bear to give up his treat, and wasn’t that an ego stroke?

  Chris tugged again. “Ant, wait.”

  Ant slurped up to the head of Chris’s cock, swirling his tongue around it while staring at Chris with defiant eyes before finally pulling off. “Am I not up to your standards?”

  “Don’t be crazy,” Chris said. “You’re amazing. But this is going to be over fast if you keep going, and I want to touch you too.”

  Ant backed off the bed to strip the rest of his clothes, while Chris whipped off his shirt so they could be naked together. Chris’s eyes dropped to Ant’s cock, thick and meaty between his thighs. He’d seen it before, when Ant traipsed around naked that morning, but he was too hungover to really appreciate it. Besides, he hadn’t had the right to touch and taste then. Now that dick belonged to him.

&
nbsp; Ant knelt on the bed beside him, and Chris wrapped his fingers around Ant’s cock, fingertips just meeting on either side. “This is the perfect size. Not too small, not too—”

  “You better not say not too big,” Ant said. “You’ll give me a complex.”

  Chris laughed. “You don’t want to be too big. How will you get in my ass?”

  Ant sucked in a breath, fucking into Chris’s fist. “That’s what you want?”

  Chris used his free hand to grab the back of Ant’s neck and tug him down for a sloppy kiss. “Yeah, Ant. It’s what I want. So, fucking give it to me.”

  Ant flipped Chris onto his stomach, then grabbed his hips to tug him onto hands and knees. Before him, the line of Chris’s back was a smooth canvas of skin and muscle. His slender frame often gave Chris an air of delicacy. But now, Ant could see the strength in his body. Chris’s muscles flexed beautifully as he pushed himself into the shape best suited to taking Ant’s cock. He arched slightly, pushing his ass up and out, and Ant cupped it in his hands, squeezing the firm flesh.

  “So gorgeous,” he muttered.

  Chris trembled beneath him, and Ant didn’t take this moment for granted. He’d been stupid to ever think Chris wanted a meaningless fuck. That wasn’t who Chris was, not with Ant anyway. He’d had his share of hookups, but Chris had told him from the beginning that he found those to be empty and unsatisfying. He wanted something real, which is why Ant had originally suggested they could wait until they knew each other better.

  He’d never imagined he’d run out of time so soon. He’d only known that Chris was a guy worth the wait. Because he hadn’t wanted a quick fuck either. He wanted a partner, someone smart and down to earth. He’d thought he had that with Raul, but his ex-boyfriend had been too flighty. He lived for drama, cutting down other men with his friends in the clubs and trotting Ant out like arm candy. Raul had never really been interested in what Ant wanted outside the bedroom.