by A R Steele
Jesse’s performance hadn’t been all that different from what he normally did. Shade doubted he had actually put a ton of effort into it. It was just so perfectly him. He didn’t have to work to get that effect. His trueness to himself was incredibly seductive.
The customers were very enthusiastic at the first table Shade went to after his turn on the stage. “I want a lap dance,” one said.
“No, I want a lap dance.”
“How about I take one of you into the champagne lounge instead?” Shade asked. He had barely used that room since it had opened. Since Jesse had encouraged him to charge more, he was curious to see how much he could get. “It’s only a hundred for an hour.”
The girls glanced at each other, and Shade thought for a second that they would both say no. He almost lowered the price before they could reject him.
But after a moment, one girl made a gesture of surrender to her friend. “I won’t hold you back. Go for it.”
“I’ll make it up to you next time.”
The girl looked up at Shade, and he offered her his arm. He took her to the bar, where Wright was in the middle of setting a row of shots ablaze. Shade jumped back, while the customers simply squealed.
When Shade finally caught Wright’s attention, he turned to him with a grin. “Champagne?”
Once Shade and the girl were alone in the lounge, she gave him the hundred without even being asked. That had to be the easiest money he had ever made. It almost tempted him to stay here instead of writing the article.
“Now I’ll give you your lap dance,” he said.
He took a spin around the pole, thinking briefly about how private this room was. Even after three months, he didn’t have enough moves to fill that amount of time. Luckily, the girl didn’t seem to mind if he repeated himself. She sat there with her eyes bright, leaning slightly forward as he danced on the stage and grinded on her lap.
He pecked her cheek at the end of the hour.
“The time is up?” she asked. “No way. It feels like we just got here.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” he said, offering her his arm again. This was so easy, he should really do it more often. He could mention it in the article for sure.
Once he returned her to her friends, he glanced around the room. He wondered where Jesse was now. He knew he should only give him the same attention as the other strippers, but it was hard. He wanted to make sure they were cool with each other. Jesse had seemed a little strange in the change room earlier, asking those questions about his fake boyfriend.
So Shade made a circle around the room, keeping an eye out for Jesse. No, he definitely wasn’t around. He remembered what Jesse had said about smoking outside. Finding him out there might be a better way to talk to him.
Shade stuck his hands in his pockets and headed out the door. He nodded to Austin, the bouncer. “Hey. Is Jesse out here?”
“Yeah, around the corner,” Austin said.
Shade examined his metal-filled face, trying to figure out if he cared that Jesse was smoking over there. “Do you know what he’s doing?”
“Sure, and it’s fine with me as long as he doesn’t do it within twenty feet of the entrance.”
Interesting. Shade headed over to where Austin had pointed, trying to phrase how he could use the idea in the article. At the Tool Shed, anything goes – as long as it’s out of the hulking bouncer’s line of sight.
He found Jesse around the edge of the building, exhaling smoke into the cold air. The smoke froze immediately, making Shade aware of just how cold it was. He hadn’t thought about grabbing a shirt first. His nipples hardened in the frosty December air.
“Hey,” he said. “Thought I might find you out here.”
“That’s a safe bet,” Jesse said, pulling again on the joint.
He seemed completely unsurprised that Shade would have come to find him. If not, he was hiding his feelings well. Shade doubted he would do such a thing. He always wore his emotions on his sleeve.
“Your routine was great,” Shade said, leaning against the wall. That was even worse, since the bricks poked into his skin and sent the coldness deeper.
Jesse glanced at him, looking amused. “Yeah, thank you. Are you okay there?”
“Just a little cold. I may not have thought this through.”
“Take my jacket.”
Shade waved away the offer, but Jesse had already taken the jacket off. Now his upper body was bare, and Shade gulped as he looked at the sculpted muscles. He wanted to run his fingers over that tribal tattoo again. If only he had some kind of souvenir of that evening.
Jesse covered Shade’s back with the jacket, and Shade huddled inside it. It was almost ridiculously warm considering how light it looked. Better yet, it made him feel like Jesse was holding him. It even smelled like Jesse.
As he warmed up, he was so caught up in the moment that he almost missed Jesse’s words. “Your routine was great, too.”
“Oh, you saw it?” As if Shade hadn’t seen him watching. “Thanks. I spent half the time off coming up with the costume.”
“You went all out. It looked great.”
Shade wondered if Jesse was flirting again. Even if he was, it didn’t matter. After all, he was the one who had said that their hookup was only a one-time thing. He had to just take the compliment for what it was. But if he was sure he didn’t want more, why had he followed Jesse out here again?
Right, he was trying to make things less awkward. Unfortunately, this conversation was getting worse by the second. Shade sighed, clutching Jesse’s jacket around him. “Well, I just wanted to say hi. I had fun the other night.”
“Me too,” Jesse said, exhaling another puff of smoke. “I’m glad you’re doing okay since your break-up.”
Shade shot him a look, but he looked sincere.
“It seemed like good timing,” Jesse said meaningfully.
Now Shade’s eyes widened, and he felt stupid for not seeing why Jesse might be concerned. “No, I’m definitely single,” he said, looking at the ground. “Sorry you had to worry about that. It was a little weird between me and… Chris… but I’m not seeing anyone right now.” He was probably emphasizing that too much, and he hurried to shoot down any possibilities he might be leaving open. “And I’m planning to stay single for a while.”
“I guess that guy messed with your head.”
“You could say that,” Shade mumbled. Better to leave it ambiguous and let Jesse assume what he wanted. He tried to change the subject. “I’m just going to get my mind off it as best as I can. I’ve had my rebound now, and I can just focus on my hobbies.”
Great, he had just reduced Jesse to a throwaway hook-up. Hurt flashed across Jesse’s face, but it was gone just as fast. “Glad I could help,” Jesse said curtly. Before Shade could apologize, he was speaking again. “What are your hobbies, anyway?”
“Oh… mostly hiking lately.”
“Hiking?”
“Yeah, I’ve been checking out a lot of the trails around town. Birdwatching, too. There’s some pretty cool fowl around here if you know where to look for it.”
“Seriously? That’s pretty… different.”
Shade chuckled. Of course Jesse thought it was nerdy. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t have a lot of friends in town, so I’ve been spending a lot of time by myself. I like being in nature, too. It feels good.”
Jesse shivered, and Shade hurried to offer him his coat back. Jesse tried to brush off the offer. “Take it, you’re colder than I was,” Shade told him.
“I guess you’re the one that likes nature,” Jesse said. He took back the coat.
Shade wrapped his arms around himself to keep warm. Jesse put one arm around him, making Shade tremble for another reason. He could still remember how Jesse’s mouth had felt on his cock, and even this soft touch was enough to bring up those memories.
“What do you do for fun, anyway?” Shade asked.
“Hang out with friends, family…” Jesse said. “I go to
the gym. And I like programming.”
“Like programming websites?”
“Naw, not so much. More like apps. I’m working on one for video streaming. It’s fun.”
“Wow. I’d have no idea where to even start.”
“I always liked fooling around with that kind of stuff. I’m just fucking around, though. Not going to do anything with it.”
“That’s kind of cool.” Shade hadn’t even realized when the conversation had started to flow naturally. He felt like he was talking to a buddy now. It was a feeling he hadn’t had much lately.
“Never been hiking, though,” Jesse said. “Maybe you should take me sometime.”
Shade stiffened and looked at him. He looked genuinely curious. Could he be, though? Why would Jesse of all people want to try hiking?
“Just as friends, of course,” Jesse said. “I know you don’t want anything more than that.”
If Jesse only knew how much Shade craved him! Shade’s throat was dry, but he didn’t see how he could say no to the suggestion. It would have been rude to decline when Jesse was being so friendly.
“Yeah, I’ll take you sometime,” Shade said. “You like birds?”
Jesse shrugged. “Sure.”
“I’ll find you some cool birds.”
Taking a long puff on his joint, Jesse glanced at him. “You’re sure you’re not some kind of cop, huh?”
“Pretty sure.”
“I won’t take it too kindly if I find out you’ve been lying to me.”
Now Shade was the one shivering. “I swear I’m not any kind of cop.”
Jesse put out the joint, stubbing it on the ground. “All right. Guess we should go back in.”
“Okay.” Shade walked back into the club with him, wondering if he had made a mistake by agreeing to the hike. Jesse was clearly still suspicious of him – not to mention how his whole body longed for a repeat of the other night. Being around Jesse was definitely going to be frustrating.
A repeat of what they had done would have been amazing. They could have had something good together.
But Shade couldn’t take that risk.
Fifteen
All you need is some comfortable shoes, clothes to layer, and a bottle of water. See you there.
After rereading the text, Jesse put on a T-shirt, sweater, and cargo pants. He grabbed an old jacket just in case, figuring his leather one was too nice to get dirty. If there was a water bottle in the house, he couldn’t remember where it was. He hunted through most of the main floor before finding an old one of his grandmother’s.
Do you need a ride? he wrote to Shade.
Shade: No, I’ll meet you there. It’s easy to get there by bus.
Jesse: I might get lost without you to guide me.
Shade: Okay, you can come pick me up. For your sake.
Jesse slid the phone into his pocket. He remembered all too well where Shade’s building was. Going there was going to bring up memories that would have been easier to forget. Sometimes when he thought about how it was never going to happen again, he wished he hadn’t gotten that glimpse of how good it could be.
There was still something off about Shade. Although he doubted Shade was up to anything bad, how could he be sure? Spending more time with him might help him figure things out. Either way, he’d get to hang out with an amazing guy.
“Bye, Gran!” he called to his grandmother. “I’m going out for the afternoon.”
The little old lady stood at the top of the stairs. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going for a hike.”
Her face scrunched up. “You? Hiking?”
“I can hike.”
“You never have before.”
“It was a new friend’s idea. I’m going to try it.”
Apparently that was good enough for her. Jesse got in his Jeep and was at Shade’s place a few minutes later. Shade came out immediately after Jesse texted him to come down. It was so fast that Jesse wondered if he had been waiting in the lobby.
Maybe Shade had been worried Jesse would want to come up. Jesse would have liked nothing better, but apparently that was off the table. Damn this Chris for screwing things up between him and Shade. He doubted he would ever have gotten tired of fooling around with Shade if this rebound thing hadn’t been an issue.
“So, the trail isn’t far,” Shade said as he got in the car. “It’s not hard to find at all.”
Jesse shrugged. “Well, I still need you to guide me.”
They arrived a few minutes later. The brisk chill of the day seemed good for hiking. If they had gone in a warmer month, Jesse figured it would have been too hot.
They climbed out of the car and Jesse paid the street parking. This part of town was unfamiliar to him. He normally stuck to the more urban areas. It did have some nice grassy parts, he noticed. “There’s a real trail here?”
“Yeah, I was just here last weekend. It’s beautiful. I can’t believe you didn’t know about it.”
“Don’t think anyone I know’s into hiking.”
The trail started at the edge of the grassy area. The gravel cut a narrow path through a canopy of trees. Jesse followed Shade, walking a few steps behind him since he knew where he was going. “This is pretty,” Jesse said.
“Just wait. It’s only going to get better.”
Jesse kept pace with Shade, although he still let him walk ahead. The more space that was between them, the better he could resist the urge to grab Shade’s hand. Jesse would have held it all day if he’d had the chance. Shade had some nice hands… not to mention the rest of his body.
He was so caught up in thinking about Shade’s arms, chest, and stomach that he barely noticed when they crossed over a small bridge. He blinked, and it was as if they were in a whole other world.
“Holy shit,” he said. “It’s like we’re in a fucking picture book!”
“You like it?” Shade asked.
“I love it,” Jesse said. “Is it even real? I can't believe this is right here in Bridgehaven.”
“There are a lot of things around if you take the time to explore them.”
Jesse nodded, still awed by the atmosphere around them. The trees loomed high above him, their green leaves spreading out to dot the ground with flecks of light. A bird flew down from the top of the canopy, and Jesse could actually hear it singing. He couldn’t remember the last time he had heard a bird sing.
Despite how unexpectedly cool this place was, he wanted to explore Shade’s body more than anything else in this town. He could remember everything about what they had done together. He had reviewed every moment of the time they had spent in Shade’s bedroom. But Shade was off-limits for reasons Jesse didn't quite understand.
As they walked down the trail, Jesse continued to express his awe at the sights. The trail just kept getting more beautiful. He could only imagine what it would look like under a covering of snow, which only came a few times a year. And it was completely deserted here. How had Shade even found out about this place? He asked him.
“Someone told me about it,” Shade said. “You can find out lots of things if you ask.”
Jesse nodded, wondering if all of Shade's questions could just be part of his personality. He liked Shade a lot, questions or no questions. In fact, he was starting to like the questions. They were part of Shade.
“I'm glad you found it, S,” Jesse said. “I'm honestly amazed that this is here and that I never knew about it. Do you mind if I tell the other guys?”
“Go for it,” Shade said. “Things like this shouldn't be kept secret.”
Jesse nodded. He just hoped he would have the words to describe how amazing this was. He suspected that Lev and Ace wouldn't have much interest in hiking. Cooper, Gabriel, and Lucas might be more likely to check the trail out.
They came to a clearing where the sun shone down brightly, and Shade came to a stop.
“Is this the end?” Jesse asked, oddly disappointed. He didn't want this to end. He wanted this trail t
o go on forever, and to stay here in Shade's company for as long as possible.
“Not at all,” Shade said. “It goes on for a few miles and loops back around to where we started. We have a good two hours ahead of us, if that's not too long for you.”
“Not at all,” Jesse said.
“That's what I thought.”
“Then why are we stopping?”
“Watch,” Shade said.
He crouched down, pulling a baggie out of his pocket. For a second, Jesse thought he’d brought weed along. Funny, he hadn't thought to bring any for himself. It would be at least two more hours before he’d be able to smoke. Normally he got high more often, but somehow he didn't mind. Being in Shade's company was enough of a rush.
What Shade pulled out of his pocket was unfamiliar to Jesse. What were those little pellets? Shade shook a few into his hand and held it out, waiting.
“What…?”
“Just give it a second,” Shade said.
After a long moment, Jesse spotted a bird flying down from the trees. “Oh, look at that! It's coming right toward you.”
“It sure is,” Shade said, keeping his voice low. “Don't do anything to scare it. It's going to come even closer in a second.”
The bird swooped down and circled around Shade. It looked like a sparrow, maybe, or a finch. Jesse had never paid attention to bird species. This one was kind of cool, though. He wished he knew more about it.
“Holy shit,” Jesse said. “It's going right toward you.” He tried to keep his voice down to not scare the bird, but it flew away. “Shit, I'm sorry.”
Instead of getting mad, Shade just shrugged. “It's okay. Listen to all those birdsongs. Another one will come by in just a minute.”
Although Jesse wasn't sure, he crouched down next to Shade. “Could I try?”
Shade gave him a couple of pellets, and they both sat with their hands out. Jesse felt a little silly, but the feeling quickly went away. It was hard to feel silly out here in the wilderness. No one was here to judge him for this except Shade, who was just as into it.