by A R Steele
As Jesse waited, a sound came from beside him. It sounded exactly like the birdsong, but it seemed to be coming from closer. Jesse looked at Shade from the corner of his eye, wondering if he was imagining this. Shade’s lips were pursed, though, and he was looking excitedly at the sky. He gestured silently to Jesse.
Two birds appeared, singing the song right back to Shade. Jesse’s mouth dropped open. He’d never seen birds up close like this. The birds swooped down, quickly coming into their hands. Jesse watched in awe as the red-breasted bird ate. It stayed there for a minute, looking him in the eye. Jesse could hardly believe the bird was sitting in his hand.
“It feels like we’re in a fucking Disney movie,” he said.
“Two princes with two lovebirds?”
Jesse laughed, but part of him winced inside. He wished he and Shade were the lovebirds. This was a damn romantic moment, and it was making him feel things for Shade that he’d been trying to push down. He knew about Shade's body already, and he was becoming attracted to every part of Shade. They just went well together.
They gave the birds a few more seeds. The joy of it never got old. “I can’t believe how friendly they are,” Jesse said.
Shade had the explanation. “Living out here, they haven't learned to get scared of humans.”
“That makes sense.”
After a while, they reluctantly stood up. Time was passing, and they did have work that night, as much as both of them seemed to want to stay.
“We can feed the birds some more as we go on,” Shade said.
They walked along for the next two hours, talking animatedly for much of the time and sometimes lapsing into a comfortable silence. Jesse could pretend he was trying to figure out what Shade was up to, but in reality, he kept forgetting about that. He felt good around Shade, that's all there was to it.
Shade was good company. His questions were entertaining, and they made Jesse feel good. It was nice to have somebody so curious about his life. The two of them got along like old friends.
At last they got back to Jesse's car. They fell silent as they walked out of the trail and back into the main street. The daydream was over. They had to return to real life.
They got in the car, and Jesse reached for the gear shift. Shade's hand was there. Their fingers brushed, and Jesse's cock swelled at the brief contact.
There was no denying it. As much as he knew it wasn’t a good idea, he couldn't suppress it.
He wanted Shade.
Sixteen
Still reeling from the touch of Jesse's fingers, Shade sat back in the car seat and bit his lip hard. The slight pain diverted the blood from his groin, where it was quickly rushing. Being in Jesse's presence for so long had him all worked up.
He’d seen another side of Jesse today – a childlike, excitable side. Shade guessed Jesse didn't often let it show, and he was honored to have brought it out.
Shade sighed, wishing things would have been different. If he had met Jesse back in Haberdee, in his real life, he wouldn’t have hesitated to date him. They were clearly compatible. He wanted companionship… sometimes desperately.
It was lonely to be alone, especially when he was undercover. Not knowing anyone in this town was getting to him. Maybe that meant he was a failure of an investigative reporter. Briefly, he considered bringing it up with Krista on their next phone call.
But he’d never admit that weakness to her. She might decide to take him off the job if he wasn’t perfect, and he wanted to stay here and see how this played out. Or maybe he just wanted to be close to Jesse.
He was still lost in his thoughts when Jesse's voice broke through the haze. “You got plans for dinner?”
Shade shook himself alert. “No. I guess it is getting late, isn't it?” The clock said it was eight in the evening. They only had an hour and a half to go before their shift.
“I was thinking maybe we could get pizza at the same place.”
“Sure. That pizza was amazing.”
Shade tensed slightly as Jesse directed the car toward the pizzeria. Was spending more time with him a smart idea? Surely this could lead to nothing good. He clearly wasn't going to be able to look at Jesse purely platonically. As long as he could control his actions, he would be okay.
They got out and Shade followed Jesse inside. He stuck his hands in his pockets, out of his element. The hike had been his thing, but now they were back to reality.
“Hey, you two again,” the guy at the counter said to Jesse. “Another large pepperoni?”
“Exactly,” Jesse said.
Shade sat down at a table, flattered that the guy would remember them. It was kind of nice to be known somewhere as Jesse's friend. If he stayed here and dated Jesse, made him his boyfriend, this could be their regular pizza place. They would show up, and the guy at the counter could already be putting the pizza in the oven for them. They would eat here every weekend. They’d be happy together…
It could be real, he thought, putting his elbows on the table. Why not? He was keeping a secret, but surely Jesse would understand the reason for that. Shade could see them being together in a serious kind of way. He liked Jesse that much. And Jesse clearly liked him, too
With a sigh, he leaned backwards and put the thoughts out of his mind. He was being stupid. They got along, and their chemistry was unbelievable… but his job was more important. He couldn’t compromise his article for any reason, even an amazing potential partner. He needed to focus on that article.
And when it was done, he wouldn’t stay in Bridgehaven. Just like they had come out of the woods and back to reality, he would go back to his real life in Haberdee. He would just have to live with just being friends. Better yet, he should go back to treating Jesse like an interview subject. That was all he was to Shade in the end.
Jesse came back with the pizza and set it down on the table. Shade stood up, suddenly remembering that Jesse didn't like to eat here. “I forgot. Where do you want to go? My place is a bit far with so little time.”
“That's okay,” Jesse said, sliding into the booth. “It’s not that bad here during the evening. It's only in the middle of the night that I wouldn't want to eat here.”
“So you just wanted an invitation back to my place last time?”
Jesse laughed, even though Shade had only been half-joking. Shade was glad that they could address what had happened between them. Another guy might have wanted to pretend hooking up hadn’t happened, but Jesse was cooler than that. Yet another reason for Shade to like him
“I swear I just didn’t want to eat here late at night,” Jesse said.
“Yeah, sure,” Shade said. Truth be told, it didn’t really matter why he and Jesse had gone back to his place. He had no regrets about what they’d done, even if it had made everything more complicated. The time they had spent together was completely worth it.
Shade slid back into the booth across from Jesse, wishing he could reach across and take his hand. Instead, he opened the box and reached for a slice. The pizza was just as good as last time, and he dug in with gusto. He could get used to eating amazing pizza with a gorgeous guy. Too bad that wasn’t going to happen.
“So, you had fun today?” he asked.
“So much fun,” Jesse said. “I wouldn’t have thought I’d like walking around outside and looking at birds.”
“Yeah, I figured it wasn’t your usual thing,” Shade said.
“I never thought there were too many natural areas around here. Then again, I never thought to look.”
“So what do you usually do for fun?” Shade asked.
“Not a whole lot these days,” Jesse said. “Our schedule has me working at all the times that my friends would usually hang out, so I don’t get to see them too often. I used to go out sometimes. There’s a pretty good gay bar in town, Man Planet. They have drag shows every week.”
“So you’re a partier,” Shade said.
“A little bit. I’ve chilled out with age.”
“Age? Didn’t y
ou say you were twenty-two?”
“Yeah, but I partied more when I was twenty-one.”
They smiled at each other and went silent for a moment as they chewed. Then Shade took a sip of his Coke and continued. “So you’re usually just at home when you’re not at work?”
“Pretty much. I hang out with friends sometimes during our days off. But they’re at work during the day, and so we only have those nights. It kind of sucks. But then, you’re in the same position.”
“Yeah, well, my friends are back in Haberdee anyway, so I wouldn’t get to see them much anyway.”
“Didn’t you say you moved to Bridgehaven a while back? You didn’t make any friends before you came to the strip club?”
“No, I just moved here when I started working at the Tool Shed,” Shade said.
Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “You told me you moved here to work for a small finance company.”
“Oh, that,” Shade said, remembering the conversation with a grimace. He had to keep this stuff straight. He was making amateur mistakes, and he was going to give himself away very soon. “Yeah, I only worked for them briefly. That’s why I forgot about it. Definitely not enough time to make any friends.”
He hoped he had covered his tracks well enough. From the way Jesse was looking at him, he doubted it. He rushed to change the subject. “So, where do you know most of your friends from? School?”
“Yeah, school and wherever,” Jesse said. “I met some of them at a local programmers’ group. They’re into the same computer stuff as me.”
“Right, the app you told me about. When are you going to show me that?”
“Oh, you wouldn’t be interested.” Jesse looked cute when he was modest.
“Of course I’d be interested,” Shade said. “You spent the whole afternoon doing what I was interested in. It’s only fair that I should check out what you’re into. Who knows, maybe I’d like it too.” He had a feeling that Jesse was downplaying this.
“All right, fine.” Jesse slid his phone over to Shade and opened an app. It looked so professional that Shade frowned, wondering if Jesse had clicked the wrong thing. He looked at Jesse, who nodded.
“This looks incredible,” Shade said, clicking a few things to see how it worked. “You can watch any video?”
“Any that’s free on the Internet from a legitimate source.”
“You’re not into pirating?”
“Just into pirates.” Shade’s face must have shown his discomfort, because Jesse grabbed his phone back. “Never mind. Sorry.”
They sat in awkward silence for a moment until Jesse changed the subject. “So, you don’t have any real friends here in Bridgehaven? That must kind of suck.”
“None other than you,” Shade said. “It definitely does suck.”
“And your ex-boyfriend,” Jesse said. “He lived in Haberdee?”
Shade winced, realizing he had opened up to a real can of worms with that lie. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. “Yeah, he lives there. That’s why I didn’t see him too often. It didn’t help that he was working so much.”
“I see,” Jesse said. “At least you had someone to see you during our days off. You must be kind of lonely now, though.”
Shade nodded, looking at the rapidly disappearing pizza. It definitely was lonely. Jesse didn’t know the half of it. Hiding his true self from the people he interacted with every day was wearing on him. He wished he could just tell Jesse who he actually was.
Jesse would have been shocked if he knew. How would he have reacted to knowing that Shade was a journalist? His reactions were always so honest. He hid absolutely nothing. Shade would have loved to see the look on his face when he found out.
But that wasn’t going to happen, at least not until the article was finished. Nothing was going to take away from it. He would write it as best as he could, and then would he tell Jesse. That moment couldn’t come soon enough.
“I do okay,” he said, still looking down. “I get lonely sometimes, but so does everyone.”
He was quite used to it by now. The last time he’d even come close to a relationship was during college. The woman, Pearl, had put him off dating for a long while. He’d been single for the past six years, only seeing people briefly and casually. He hadn’t met anybody who made him want to change that status… until now.
When he looked up, Jesse was nodding. “I know what you mean,” he said.
Shade looked into his eyes, seeing understanding in those dark brown depths. “Well, it’s not a big deal.” He was surprised with himself for opening up. He hadn’t meant to talk about personal stuff.
“You can tell me about these things,” Jesse said. “It’s cool. I’m not one of those guys who has to pretend that everything is perfect all the time. I’m pretty blunt and honest, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“I did notice,” Shade said, his hand itching to reach across for Jesse’s. “I like that about you.”
He pressed his lips together, aching to lean forward and press them against Jesse’s. Jesse was surprisingly sympathetic, and it only made him like him more. He wanted to open up about other stuff, tell all his shit to Jesse. That would have been a terrible idea, of course.
He sighed. “We probably should head to the club.”
Seventeen
“You guys are late,” Cooper said as Jesse and Shade walked into the change room. It sounded like a casual, offhand comment.
Lev seemed unduly excited about the issue. “Late, late, late!” he said, jumping in their path and wagging his finger at them. “Don’t you take this job seriously at all?”
Jesse rolled his eyes. “Lay off it, L. You’re annoying.”
Instead of getting offended, Lev raised his eyebrows and planted his hands on his hips. “I might be annoying, but you two are late! Together! Where were you?”
Jesse glanced at Shade, suddenly less eager to tell the guys about their hike. “Nowhere,” he said.
He headed for his locker, and Shade went to his across the room. Lev looked from one to the other as if deciding which to follow, eventually standing next to Jesse. He was several inches shorter, which made him an irritating presence around the height of Jesse’s nose.
Lev continued to pester Jesse as he changed. “Where’s nowhere?”
“Fine, we went for a hike and got pizza.”
Now they had everyone’s attention. “A hike and pizza?” Lev asked. “That sounds… romantic.”
“It kind of does,” Gabriel said, glancing at Ace. “We should go for a hike and pizza sometime.”
“You two have been hanging out a lot,” Lucas said softly.
“Have they?” Cooper asked. “I didn’t notice.”
Lucas’s voice grew louder. “Yeah, they both skipped the party the other night.”
“And they’ve been talking a lot, sometimes outside,” Gabriel added.
“They do seem to be spending a lot of time together,” Owen said, raising an eyebrow at them.
Lev clapped his hands together. “Romance is in the air!”
Jesse stared into his locker, looking at the pile of clothes and shoes. He wished he could see how Shade looked right now. While he knew he wanted romance to be in the air, he needed to see Shade’s reaction before he could comment.
“They’re totally seeing each other,” Ace said with amusement. “Jesse, man, you move fast. He just had a break-up!”
“Nothing is happening between us, guys,” Shade said.
Something had happened… but Jesse had to go along with how Shade wanted to portray this. If he didn’t want the others to know about their night together, that was fair. After all, they weren’t going to hook up again. It had been a one-time thing, and he had to stop hoping that it would lead to more.
He turned slowly, regretfully, and went along with Shade’s story. “You guys are wrong. We’re friends, nothing more.”
“I don’t know about that,” Cooper said to Owen. “Look at them. They look pretty guilty.”
“We’re not,” Jesse said.
“I’ve seen him looking at Shade,” Gabriel said to Ace.
“Actually, I’ve seen Shade looking at Jesse,” Ace responded.
Jesse grimaced, wishing they would all just cut it out. He definitely had given Shade a glance or two over time. How could he not? And he wasn’t surprised that Shade would have done the same to him. He already knew there was attraction there. But Shade didn’t want this to go any further.
This could have been a happy moment for the two of them if they had been on their way to getting together, like they should have been. But they weren’t a couple, and they weren’t going to be. Their adventure today had been a platonic one.
Jesse put his boxers on over his tight briefs, then pulled on his jeans. “Guys, I’m serious. Give it a rest. We’re friends, and that’s all. Just like Ace, you’re friends with Owen. Cooper, you’re friends with Lucas. If everybody in this place was dating their friends, well, it would be a little messier than it is now. We’re all proof that guys who like guys can still be friends with each other.”
He wasn’t sure if they would accept that as an answer, but fortunately the guys made no further protests after that. He supposed his voice had been serious enough to convince them. Although he was bending the truth a little, it was necessary. He wasn’t about to tell them about his unrequited feelings for Shade.
“Are we done here? Because Owen, you’re onstage first, and the rest of you guys are going to be up after him. You better get out there and start working the crowd, or I’m going to take all your tips.”
Jesse pulled on his do-rag as the rest of them reluctantly agreed. He could see that a lot of them were rooting for him and Shade to get together.
After dancing on each side stage, he went to the main stage for his bad boy performance. He stripped off his clothes with an easy, practiced technique. The cheesiness of the routine was kind of fun.