by A R Steele
He played up the routine as much as he could, and by the end of it, he was actually grinning. The claps and cheers gave him confidence. He scooped up his clothes and went back into the change room to put them back on.
Maybe he could have another chance to hook up with Shade. He saw in Shade’s eyes that he wanted him. They definitely did have sexual chemistry. Even the rest of the guys could see it. Licking his lips, Jesse remembered the electricity that had sparked between them. That night had been so unbelievably erotic, like nothing he had experienced before. How could he stay away from that? Shade could say no, but it was worth asking. If he said yes, it would be incredible.
Besides, maybe fooling around would lead to more. Jesse couldn’t help but hope this could be the start of something. If it was only one hook up, that was fine, but more would be even better. Jesse was into that guy in a serious kind of way.
And on top of everything, Jesse was still curious about Shade. There were still so many strange things about him. Jesse hadn’t figured out what those texts were about, or the time he’d walked in on him on the phone, or the notebook in his room. Even today, when Shade had seemed to open up, he’d been guarded.
So there were all sorts of reasons for Jesse to ask Shade to hook up again. And as he walked into the change room, he saw Shade there ahead of him.
“Hey, S.” Jesse was already a little turned on at the sight of Shade shirtless in just his blue shorts and bandana. His pirate outfit would come later. Jesse could hardly wait until he put on that loose white shirt.
“Hey, Jesse. I’m glad you’re here. I’m sorry I didn’t tell the guys the whole truth today, but…”
“No need to apologize,” Jesse said. “I didn’t expect you to tell them that we fooled around. It’s none of their business, and it’s… it’s not like we’re dating.”
“Exactly,” Shade said. His relief sounded forced. “I’m glad you understand. I was just a little worried that I would hurt your feelings or something.”
“My feelings aren’t that easily hurt,” Jesse said. For once, his lie came out smoothly. “I was thinking, though. We had some chemistry. It must be pretty obvious if all the other guys can see it.”
Shade’s eyes widened, and his expression grew tight. He stood up from the bench and took a step away from Jesse. “What are you saying?”
“Nothing,” Jesse hurried to say. This was probably a horrible idea. But what did he have to lose? The potential reward was greater than any possible risk. “Just that if you ever wanted to do that again, well…”
Shade’s expression was unreadable. “The option is open?”
Great, Jesse didn’t have to spell it out for him. “Exactly,” he said.
He waited, hopeful. If Shade said yes, he would be the happiest man alive. He could practically feel Shade’s skin against his already. His mouth watered as he thought of running his tongue up Shade’s length again. The memory of how Shade had bucked and moaned as he took him in turned him on beyond all reason. And to think that what they had done was only foreplay…
But after a long moment in which Shade appeared to be debating with himself, he shook his head. “That wouldn’t be a good idea.”
Jesse stared into his eyes, and Shade appeared to waver. Jesse stayed quiet, hoping that he would change his mind. Surely he could see that he and Jesse had a special connection. Even if he was still into his ex, he should be able to get over it and move on.
This Chris guy was in the past. Jesse was the future. They liked each other, so why not go for it? Jesse couldn’t think of anything or anyone he would want more than Shade.
Shade didn’t say anything to indicate that he had changed his mind, and after another far-too-long moment, Jesse had to accept that he wouldn’t. “I understand,” he muttered, looking at the ground.
“Okay. See you later.”
Shade headed out, and Jesse sank to the bench. Putting his head in his hands, he massaged his temples. This sucked, it fucking sucked, but he would be okay.
Hmm… At least he had one souvenir from the night they’d spent together. He perked up a little as he remembered the video they’d made. He hadn’t looked at it yet, and Shade had said he could watch it before deleting it. He stood up, feeling slightly better. Watching it would be almost as good as the real thing. He could relive what they had done together.
For the rest of the night, his mind was on the video. Every time he glanced at Shade, he could picture what he would look like on his phone screen. He went through the night on autopilot, only looking forward to getting home.
When he did finally reach his bedroom, the first thing he did was pull that phone out of his pocket. He slid onto his bed, not bothering to get under the covers. After navigating quickly to the gallery of his phone, he found the video within seconds.
His throat went dry as he pressed the play button. This was going to be so hot. Jesse’s cock swelled as Shade’s face came into view. He watched as Shade’s image took hold of his cock and put it in his mouth. Jesse lay back and stroked himself to his full length. He could remember every second of how this had felt.
He watched, even more turned on when he saw Shade take his cock down to the base. He didn’t remember this particular moment, and assumed his eyes must have squeezed shut at this point. He could see everything he had missed, and this time he wouldn’t miss a thing.
The sound of his own groans came through the speaker, and his current heavy breathing added to them. Hearing his own noises was a turn-on, but Shade’s soft moans were even better. Shade had definitely enjoyed going down on him. Even before receiving any pleasure of his own, Shade had been so into pleasing Jesse. Why wouldn’t he do it again? Jesse forced himself to focus on the image on the screen instead of dwelling on it.
His hand moved up and down his cock, and he jerked himself harder as he watched Shade speed up. His cock pulsed, and he wondered if he would honestly never have this kind of pleasure again. He wanted Shade desperately.
The tiny image wasn’t enough. He needed to feel Shade’s mouth on him again. He longed to slip into Shade’s tighter hole, to fuck him through the night and into the morning. He wanted Shade’s cock in his mouth again. If he got half a chance, he would do absolutely everything with Shade.
As he watched himself come, he almost let it happen again. But he held off, wanting to see the rest of the video. After all, the next part was going to be even hotter. He was going to see what he had done to Shade. He took his hand away entirely, fearing that he would come at the thought of watching himself get off.
“You’re driving me crazy. You’re going to make me come.”
“You’re going to come right now?”
“Yes, I’m coming. I… you… I’m coming!”
The screen went black, and then the image became clear. He put his hand back gently as he watched Shade take his place on the bed. Only the edge of his face was visible, and he could see most of Shade’s upper body and his face. It came in and out of the frame as he moved, but it was always enough to get a good view of what had happened.
Jesse thanked the stars that he had made this video. He would have hated to lose this exceptional moment. He would definitely come back to this video again and again.
As he licked Shade’s cock from the base to the head in the video, Shade quivered and moaned. Jesse bit his lip hard, hoping the pain would hold him back from release. He wasn’t ready yet. He wanted to see this video through to the end. He’d let himself come when Shade came.
He stroked himself with a light touch, even though what he saw made him want to pump hard and fast. His image was bobbing on Shade’s tip, his cheeks hollowed out for more suction. He recalled at the time, his view had been of Shade’s stomach rising and falling with ragged breaths.
Jesse gripped his cock, unsure if he could really hold off until the end. This was just about the hottest thing he had ever seen. He had watched plenty of porn before, but this was completely different. He had never seen himself on camera befor
e, not to mention the fact that Shade was more appealing than any porn star. Even if a video with such bad angles would never make it on a porn site, the amateur quality got him even more excited. He had lived through this actual moment, and the memories were half of what was turning him on now.
He watched as he took Shade deep into his mouth. He hardly remembered having done this to him. He swallowed Shade down to his base, and Shade bucked under him. Shade was going crazy on the video, and Jesse was going crazy now. He couldn’t believe how much he had turned Shade on.
Shade was so into this. Why, why, why wouldn’t he want to hook up again? How could anyone pass up something that felt so good? Had he forgotten how amazing it had been? Rebound or not, Jesse couldn’t see how something this hot was a bad thing.
Again, he pushed the thoughts out of his mind. It didn’t matter. His boner was rigid in his hand, and he was getting close to the end of the video. He was going to come, and it was going to be big. He didn’t usually come that hard when he was alone, but this time he had been holding off for so long that it was going to be massive.
In the video, Shade let out a howl, and in reality, Jesse gave up his attempt at holding back. He couldn’t suppress it anymore. The orgasm burst out of him, his cum exploding all over his hand and body. The sound of Shade’s groans accompanied his own release.
He came and came, milking himself for longer than he would have thought possible. Shade could turn him on so hard without even being there. What would it be like if they actually got together again? What would happen if they had full-on sex?
Jesse cleaned himself up and got under the sheets, unable to push the thoughts completely out of his mind. He was supposed to delete that video now, but as he held his phone, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
His body was satisfied… but sadness still hung over him.
Eighteen
“Hey, Krista,” Shade said, holding his phone to his shoulder as he stacked up the clean dishes. The pile of plates clattered as he put them in the cupboard.
His kitchen was extremely clean now that he had spent the entire afternoon going through everything, dusting and washing and re-washing. After so much procrastination, he had finally called his boss to talk about his actual work.
The offer Jesse had made last night had been going through his mind all day. He had said no, but should he have? He knew it was the right decision, but was it the right one?
He wanted Jesse more than he thought possible, but he wasn’t going to rehash all the reasons that it couldn’t work. He simply had to accept it. The more he thought about this, the more frustrated he was going to be. It would be better to just focus on his article and put Jesse out of his mind entirely. Too bad the sexy stripper wouldn’t stay out of there.
“Hello, Sheldon. How’s the article coming?”
“It’s coming along.”
“Good,” Krista said. “How are the other strippers? You get a lot out of them?”
“Yes,” Shade said. “I’ve been spending more time with one in particular, so I have a lot from his viewpoint.”
“Don’t be biased,” Krista said. “Try to keep an equal balance between all the different strippers. Focus on yourself and your experience.”
“Of course,” Shade said.
“This person that you’ve been spending time with doesn’t suspect anything?” Krista asked.
“It’s fine. I’m keeping him at a distance now.”
“Now? You didn’t before?”
Shade hesitated.
“Shit. What did you do, Sheldon?”
The way she said his name was accusatory. Shade missed the way Jesse called him S. He liked that one letter better than either of the other names.
“Everything is fine.” Shade touched his stomach, wondering where his Tums were.
“I knew it was a mistake to make your first undercover assignment six months long. You should’ve started off with something smaller… something more within your capabilities.”
“We didn’t have much choice,” he said. “The strip club was hiring. Who else could have passed for a male stripper?”
Shade tried not to sound vain. He wouldn’t have tried to be a male stripper if it wasn’t for the article, but it was definitely a boost to his ego when he found out that he was indeed attractive enough.
“All right, whatever you say. Just write the article. You’re leaving soon anyway.”
“Soon? Don’t I have two and a half more months?”
Even as Shade said two and a half, it seemed like too little time to spend with Jesse. On the other hand, being around Jesse was so frustrating, he wished it was over now.
“Sure, it was going to be two and a half more months, but you’re only writing one article. It sounds like you have all the material you need.”
“You know I haven’t written much yet. I have a feeling that a lot more is going to happen before I call this done.”
“I don’t know what you’re waiting for. The sooner you come back, the sooner we pay you again.”
“It’s not about the money.” Shade’s old salary was about the same as the stripper one, although neither job paid particularly well. His journalism job was more about the experience than the money. Now that he was undercover, he’d get paid a flat amount for the final article rather than getting a salary from the magazine. “I just want to write the best possible article.”
“And to spend more time hanging out and flirting with this guy, right?”
“I’m going to plead the Fifth Amendment.”
With a tired chuckle, Krista brought the conversation to a close. “We’ll talk again soon. Let me know how things are going, and we can touch base over the weekend. Think about wrapping up this article.”
Shade hung up, unsure of how to feel. Things would certainly be easier if he were to finish here and go back to Haberdee. But he would be so far away from Jesse. Even if they were just friends, he liked being around him.
He sighed, setting the phone down and picking up a clean plate. That was the last dish he had to put away, and now he had nothing to do. He sank into a chair. Still five hours before work, and he had to kill that amount of time. He should probably have worked on his article, of course. There was so much still to do. But… Jesse was still in his head.
His cock twitched as he thought about the offer Jesse had made. Or, the non-offer. What if he had said yes? Hooking up one more time wouldn’t have been so bad. He could keep his secret for one more hook-up.
Cut it out. His little head had way too much power over him. Of course he couldn’t keep his secret! He had barely kept it last time! Why was he thinking along these lines? Did Jesse have that much of a hold over him? Sure, the oral had been hot, but had it really been that hot?
He bit his lip and felt a frisson go through him. Yes, it had been that hot… unbelievably so. He still got horny every time he thought about that night. His cock had never been that hard before. The way Jesse’s mouth had felt when it closed over his tip still made him tingle all over. Jesse turned him on beyond anything he had ever known.
Well, he had to remember that hooking up would be frustrating too. He would never be satisfied after one more time. He wanted Jesse every day and every night. He doubted he would ever get his fill of Jesse’s hard muscles and massive length. He could drink in the sight of him twenty-four hours a day, and then to add touching and tasting into it? It would never, ever get old.
He wanted to spend time with that guy. To fall asleep at his side, to wake up next to him. He wanted to walk down trails and have long conversations about everything under the sky. He wanted to eat pizza with him and chill with him, to hold hands in front of their coworkers and to be a ridiculously cute couple like all the others.
Sitting at the table, he picked up his phone and toyed with it. He wished he could hear Jesse’s voice right now. Calling him would be a bad idea. It could just be friendly, though. He could just say hi. Friends called each other sometime. He had called Krista ju
st now, and that wasn’t romantic. He could totally do it.
Before he could stop himself, he had pressed the buttons. The phone rang, and he cursed at himself. He started to end the call, but realized Jesse would see he’d missed it. Bracing himself, he waited. Jesse picked up on the second ring.
“S?”
Shade breathed out, somehow aroused by the sound of that one syllable when it came out in Jesse’s lazy drawl. “Hey, Jesse. What’s up?”
“I’m just chilling. Lying in bed, working on my app.”
Shade leaned back in his chair. “Oh? How’s that going?”
“It’s good. Coming along nicely. I’m just fiddling around with it.”
“Cool, man.” Shade was kind of nervous, but it was a delicious kind of nervousness. He felt like a teenager talking on the phone to the person he had a crush on. Even if he was well out of his teens, that was pretty close to reality.
“What’s up with you? Were you calling for any reason?”
“Not really. I just wanted to say hi. I have nothing to do. Just killing time until work.”
“Yeah, same.”
Shade wondered if Jesse might offer to hang out, but he didn’t. “All ready for the shift tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah, pretty much,” Jesse said. “You?”
“Yeah, I guess,” Shade said. He had nothing else to talk about at the moment, so he went quiet. He didn’t even have another question for Jesse.
No, that wasn’t quite true. There was one question on his mind. One big enough to overshadow any others. He wanted badly to ask it. The words were on the tip of his tongue.
Jesse, about what you said last night…
Jesse, I was wondering if the hook-up offer is still open.
Jesse… let’s fuck.
He almost laughed at himself, but it wasn’t really funny.
“Well, I’ll see you tonight,” he said instead.
Nineteen
Jesse had to stay away from Shade. Even with the video to remember him by, seeing him in person was a kind of torture. His tanned skin and brown hair begged to be touched. Jesse wanted him – wanted him badly – but he couldn’t have him.