Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

by Jonathan Swift

  CHAPTER III.

  The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in a veryuncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput described. Theauthor has his liberty granted him upon certain conditions.

  My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the emperor and hiscourt, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began toconceive hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took allpossible methods to cultivate this favourable disposition. The nativescame, by degrees, to be less apprehensive of any danger from me. I wouldsometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my hand; and atlast the boys and girls would venture to come and play at hide-and-seekin my hair. I had now made a good progress in understanding and speakingthe language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me withseveral of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I haveknown, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted with none somuch as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a slender white thread,extended about two feet, and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which Ishall desire liberty, with the reader's patience, to enlarge a little.

  This diversion is only practised by those persons who are candidates forgreat employments, and high favour at court. They are trained in thisart from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberaleducation. When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace(which often happens,) five or six of those candidates petition theemperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope;and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show theirskill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope,at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. I haveseen him do the summerset several times together, upon a trencher fixedon a rope which is no thicker than a common packthread in England. Myfriend Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs, is, in myopinion, if I am not partial, the second after the treasurer; the rest ofthe great officers are much upon a par.

  These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof greatnumbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates breaka limb. But the danger is much greater, when the ministers themselvesare commanded to show their dexterity; for, by contending to excelthemselves and their fellows, they strain so far that there is hardly oneof them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three. Iwas assured that, a year or two before my arrival, Flimnap wouldinfallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king's cushions, thataccidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

  There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before theemperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. Theemperor lays on the table three fine silken threads of six inches long;one is blue, the other red, and the third green. These threads areproposed as prizes for those persons whom the emperor has a mind todistinguish by a peculiar mark of his favour. The ceremony is performedin his majesty's great chamber of state, where the candidates are toundergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former, and such asI have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of thenew or old world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both endsparallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one,sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backward andforward, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed.Sometimes the emperor holds one end of the stick, and his first ministerthe other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoeverperforms his part with most agility, and holds out the longest in leapingand creeping, is rewarded with the blue-coloured silk; the red is givento the next, and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twiceround about the middle; and you see few great persons about this courtwho are not adorned with one of these girdles.

  The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been dailyled before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feetwithout starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I held iton the ground; and one of the emperor's huntsmen, upon a large courser,took my foot, shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious leap. I hadthe good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extraordinarymanner. I desired he would order several sticks of two feet high, andthe thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon hismajesty commanded the master of his woods to give directions accordingly;and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many carriages, drawn byeight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks, and fixing themfirmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet and a halfsquare, I took four other sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner,about two feet from the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to thenine sticks that stood erect; and extended it on all sides, till it wastight as the top of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising aboutfive inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side.When I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of hisbest horses twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plain.His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, one by one, inmy hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercisethem. As soon as they got into order they divided into two parties,performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords,fled and pursued, attacked and retired, and in short discovered the bestmilitary discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them andtheir horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so muchdelighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated severaldays, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of command;and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress herself to let mehold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, when she wasable to take a full view of the whole performance. It was my goodfortune, that no ill accident happened in these entertainments; only oncea fiery horse, that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with hishoof, struck a hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, heoverthrew his rider and himself; but I immediately relieved them both,and covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the other,in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell was strained inthe left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt; and I repaired myhandkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not trust to thestrength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises.

  About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I wasentertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an expressto inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding near the placewhere I was first taken up, had seen a great black substance lying on thearound, very oddly shaped, extending its edges round, as wide as hismajesty's bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as high as a man; thatit was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it lay onthe grass without motion; and some of them had walked round it severaltimes; that, by mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to thetop, which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that itwas hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be somethingbelonging to the man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased, they wouldundertake to bring it with only five horses. I presently knew what theymeant, and was glad at heart to receive this intelligence. It seems,upon my first reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I was in suchconfusion, that before I came to the place where I went to sleep, my hat,which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was rowing, and hadstuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; thestring, as I conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I neverobserved, but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated hisimperial majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon aspossible, describing to him the use and the nature of it: and the nextday the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; theyhad bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and half of the edge, andfastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a long cord toth
e harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above half an Englishmile; but, the ground in that country being extremely smooth and level,it received less damage than I expected.

  Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part ofhis army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be in readiness,took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desiredI would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as far asunder as Iconveniently could. He then commanded his general (who was an oldexperienced leader, and a great patron of mine) to draw up the troops inclose order, and march them under me; the foot by twenty-four abreast,and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colours flying, and pikesadvanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousandhorse. His majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldierin his march should observe the strictest decency with regard to myperson; which however could not prevent some of the younger officers fromturning up their eyes as they passed under me: and, to confess the truth,my breeches were at that time in so ill a condition, that they affordedsome opportunities for laughter and admiration.

  I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that hismajesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and then ina full council; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam,who was pleased, without any provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But itwas carried against him by the whole board, and confirmed by the emperor.That minister was _galbet_, or admiral of the realm, very much in hismaster's confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a moroseand sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to comply; butprevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I should be setfree, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. Thesearticles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in person attended by twounder-secretaries, and several persons of distinction. After they wereread, I was demanded to swear to the performance of them; first in themanner of my own country, and afterwards in the method prescribed bytheir laws; which was, to hold my right foot in my left hand, and toplace the middle finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and mythumb on the tip of my right ear. But because the reader may be curiousto have some idea of the style and manner of expression peculiar to thatpeople, as well as to know the article upon which I recovered my liberty,I have made a translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as nearas I was able, which I here offer to the public.

  "Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, most mightyEmperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose dominionsextend five thousand _blustrugs_ (about twelve miles in circumference) tothe extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs, taller than thesons of men; whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikesagainst the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their knees;pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful as autumn,dreadful as winter: his most sublime majesty proposes to theman-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the followingarticles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to perform:--

  "1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, without ourlicense under our great seal.

  "2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without ourexpress order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hourswarning to keep within doors.

  "3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal highroads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a meadow or field of corn.

  "4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not totrample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses, orcarriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands without their ownconsent.

  "5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountainshall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a sixdays journey, once in every moon, and return the said messenger back (ifso required) safe to our imperial presence.

  "6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu,and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing toinvade us.

  "7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, beaiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain greatstones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other ourroyal buildings.

  "8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time, deliver in anexact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a computation ofhis own paces round the coast.

  "Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above articles,the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drinksufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, with free access toour royal person, and other marks of our favour. Given at our palace atBelfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign."

  I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness andcontent, although some of them were not so honourable as I could havewished; which proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, thehigh-admiral: whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was atfull liberty. The emperor himself, in person, did me the honour to be byat the whole ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myselfat his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise; and after manygracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall notrepeat, he added, "that he hoped I should prove a useful servant, andwell deserve all the favours he had already conferred upon me, or mightdo for the future."

  The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of therecovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity ofmeat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 Lilliputians. Sometime after, asking a friend at court how they came to fix on thatdeterminate number, he told me that his majesty's mathematicians, havingtaken the height of my body by the help of a quadrant, and finding it toexceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from thesimilarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 oftheirs, and consequently would require as much food as was necessary tosupport that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive anidea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the prudent and exacteconomy of so great a prince.