Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

by Jonathan Swift

  CHAPTER VI.

  Of the inhabitants of Lilliput; their learning, laws, and customs; themanner of educating their children. The author's way of living in thatcountry. His vindication of a great lady.

  Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particulartreatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify the curiousreader with some general ideas. As the common size of the natives issomewhat under six inches high, so there is an exact proportion in allother animals, as well as plants and trees: for instance, the tallesthorses and oxen are between four and five inches in height, the sheep aninch and half, more or less: their geese about the bigness of a sparrow,and so the several gradations downwards till you come to the smallest,which to my sight, were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyesof the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see withgreat exactness, but at no great distance. And, to show the sharpness oftheir sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased withobserving a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common fly;and a young girl threading an invisible needle with invisible silk.Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those inthe great royal park, the tops whereof I could but just reach with myfist clenched. The other vegetables are in the same proportion; but thisI leave to the reader's imagination.

  I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for manyages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their manner ofwriting is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, likethe Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the Arabians, norfrom up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from one corner of thepaper to the other, like ladies in England.

  They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because theyhold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to riseagain; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) willturn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, befound ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess theabsurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, incompliance to the vulgar.

  There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if theywere not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I shouldbe tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to bewished they were as well executed. The first I shall mention, relates toinformers. All crimes against the state, are punished here with theutmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainlyto appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to anignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person isquadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger heunderwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the chargeshe has been at in making his defence; or, if that fund be deficient, itis largely supplied by the crown. The emperor also confers on him somepublic mark of his favour, and proclamation is made of his innocencethrough the whole city.

  They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldomfail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance,with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's goods fromthieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning; and, sinceit is necessary that there should be a perpetual intercourse of buyingand selling, and dealing upon credit, where fraud is permitted andconnived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is alwaysundone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was onceinterceding with the emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master ofa great sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with;and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it wasonly a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offeras a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime; and truly I hadlittle to say in return, farther than the common answer, that differentnations had different customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.{330}

  Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges upon whichall government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be put inpractice by any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bringsufficient proof, that he has strictly observed the laws of his countryfor seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, according tohis quality or condition of life, with a proportionable sum of money outof a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of_snilpall_, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not descend tohis posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policyamong us, when I told them that our laws were enforced only by penalties,without any mention of reward. It is upon this account that the image ofJustice, in their courts of judicature, is formed with six eyes, twobefore, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify circumspection;with a bag of gold open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in herleft, to show she is more disposed to reward than to punish.

  In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to goodmorals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary tomankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding isfitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended tomake the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended onlyby a few persons of sublime genius, of which there seldom are three bornin an age: but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, tobe in every man's power; the practice of which virtues, assisted byexperience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service ofhis country, except where a course of study is required. But theythought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied bysuperior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put intosuch dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified; and, at least,that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a virtuous disposition,would never be of such fatal consequence to the public weal, as thepractices of a man, whose inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who hadgreat abilities to manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions.

  In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a manincapable of holding any public station; for, since kings avow themselvesto be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can bemore absurd than for a prince to employ such men as disown the authorityunder which he acts.

  In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood tomean the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions,into which these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For,as to that infamous practice of acquiring great employments by dancing onthe ropes, or badges of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks andcreeping under them, the reader is to observe, that they were firstintroduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew tothe present height by the gradual increase of party and faction.

  Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been insome other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes illreturns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest ofmankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such aman is not fit to live.

  Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differextremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and female isfounded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continuethe species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women arejoined together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence; andthat their tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like naturalprinciple: for which reason they will never allow that a child is underany obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his mother forbringing him into the world; which, considering the miseries of humanlife, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents,whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed. Uponthese, and the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are thelast of all others to be trusted with the education of their ownchildren; and therefore they have in every town public nurseries, whereall parents, except cottagers and labourers, are obliged to send theirinfants of both sexes to be reared
and educated, when they come to theage of twenty moons, at which time they are supposed to have somerudiments of docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited todifferent qualities, and both sexes. They have certain professors wellskilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits therank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as inclinations.I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and then of thefemale.

  The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided withgrave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothesand food of the children are plain and simple. They are bred up in theprinciples of honour, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, andlove of their country; they are always employed in some business, exceptin the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two hoursfor diversions consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by mentill four years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves,although their quality be ever so great; and the women attendant, who areaged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menialoffices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but gotogether in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, andalways in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies; wherebythey avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice, to which ourchildren are subject. Their parents are suffered to see them only twicea year; the visit is to last but an hour; they are allowed to kiss thechild at meeting and parting; but a professor, who always stands by onthose occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondlingexpressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.

  The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of achild, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's officers.

  The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, andhandicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only thosedesigned for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old, whereasthose of persons of quality continue in their exercises till fifteen,which answers to twenty-one with us: but the confinement is graduallylessened for the last three years.

  In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated muchlike the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their ownsex; but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, till they cometo dress themselves, which is at five years old. And if it be found thatthese nurses ever presume to entertain the girls with frightful orfoolish stories, or the common follies practised by chambermaids amongus, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city, imprisoned for ayear, and banished for life to the most desolate part of the country.Thus the young ladies are as much ashamed of being cowards and fools asthe men, and despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency andcleanliness: neither did I perceive any difference in their educationmade by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the femaleswere not altogether so robust; and that some rules were given themrelating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was enjoinedthem: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality, a wife should bealways a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always beyoung. When the girls are twelve years old, which among them is themarriageable age, their parents or guardians take them home, with greatexpressions of gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears ofthe young lady and her companions.

  In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children areinstructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their severaldegrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at seven years old,the rest are kept to eleven.

  The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are obliged,besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return tothe steward of the nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to bea portion for the child; and therefore all parents are limited in theirexpenses by the law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be moreunjust, than for people, in subservience to their own appetites, to bringchildren into the world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on thepublic. As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate acertain sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these fundsare always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.

  The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their businessbeing only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their educationis of little consequence to the public: but the old and diseased amongthem, are supported by hospitals; for begging is a trade unknown in thisempire.

  And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some accountof my domestics, and my manner of living in this country, during aresidence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a head mechanicallyturned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself atable and chair convenient enough, out of the largest trees in the royalpark. Two hundred sempstresses were employed to make me shirts, andlinen for my bed and table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind theycould get; which, however, they were forced to quilt together in severalfolds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen isusually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstressestook my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, andanother at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held by theend, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule of an inchlong. Then they measured my right thumb, and desired no more; for by amathematical computation, that twice round the thumb is once round thewrist, and so on to the neck and the waist, and by the help of my oldshirt, which I displayed on the ground before them for a pattern, theyfitted me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the samemanner to make me clothes; but they had another contrivance for taking mymeasure. I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to myneck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-linefrom my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of my coat:but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my clothes were finished,which was done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have beenable to hold them), they looked like the patch-work made by the ladies inEngland, only that mine were all of a colour.

  I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient hutsbuilt about my house, where they and their families lived, and preparedme two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placedthem on the table: a hundred more attended below on the ground, some withdishes of meat, and some with barrels of wine and other liquors slung ontheir shoulders; all which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in avery ingenious manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a wellin Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel oftheir liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, buttheir beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have beenforced to make three bites of it; but this is rare. My servants wereastonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do theleg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, andI confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take uptwenty or thirty at the end of my knife.

  One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired"that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of the bloodof both sexes, might have the happiness," as he was pleased to call it,"of dining with me." They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairsof state, upon my table, just over against me, with their guards aboutthem. Flimnap, the lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with hiswhite staff; and I observed he often looked on me with a sourcountenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual,in honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court withadmiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit fromhis majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to hismaster. That minister had always been my secret enemy, though heoutwardly caressed me more than was usual to the moroseness of hisnature. He represented to the emperor "the low condition of histreasury; that he was forced to take up money at a great discount; tha
texchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent. below par; thatI had cost his majesty above a million and a half of _sprugs_" (theirgreatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle) "and, upon the whole,that it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasionof dismissing me."

  I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, whowas an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer took a fancy tobe jealous of his wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, whoinformed him that her grace had taken a violent affection for my person;and the court scandal ran for some time, that she once came privately tomy lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous falsehood,without any grounds, further than that her grace was pleased to treat mewith all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came oftento my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in thecoach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and someparticular acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies of thecourt. And I still appeal to my servants round, whether they at any timesaw a coach at my door, without knowing what persons were in it. Onthose occasions, when a servant had given me notice, my custom was to goimmediately to the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up thecoach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were sixhorses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and place them on atable, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five inches high,to prevent accidents. And I have often had four coaches and horses atonce on my table, full of company, while I sat in my chair, leaning myface towards them; and when I was engaged with one set, the coachmenwould gently drive the others round my table. I have passed many anafternoon very agreeably in these conversations. But I defy thetreasurer, or his two informers (I will name them, and let them make thebest of it) Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me_incognito_, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by expresscommand of his imperial majesty, as I have before related. I should nothave dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been a pointwherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to saynothing of my own; though I then had the honour to be a _nardac_, whichthe treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows, that he is only a_glumglum_, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to aduke in England; yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. Thesefalse informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of by anaccident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his lady for sometime an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he was at lastundeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, andfound my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was,indeed, too much governed by that favourite.