Gulliver's Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World

by Jonathan Swift

  CHAPTER XII.

  The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His censureof those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author clears himselffrom any sinister ends in writing. An objection answered. The method ofplanting colonies. His native country commended. The right of the crownto those countries described by the author is justified. The difficultyof conquering them. The author takes his last leave of the reader;proposes his manner of living for the future; gives good advice, andconcludes.

  Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travelsfor sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have not been sostudious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like others, haveastonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose torelate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner and style; because myprincipal design was to inform, and not to amuse thee.

  It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are seldomvisited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions ofwonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a traveller's chief aimshould be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by thebad, as well as good, example of what they deliver concerning foreignplaces.

  I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, before hewere permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make oathbefore the Lord High Chancellor, that all he intended to print wasabsolutely true to the best of his knowledge; for then the world would nolonger be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make theirworks pass the better upon the public, impose the grossest falsities onthe unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels with greatdelight in my younger days; but having since gone over most parts of theglobe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my ownobservation, it has given me a great disgust against this part ofreading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind soimpudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased tothink my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to my country, Iimposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved from, that I wouldstrictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the leasttemptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures andexample of my noble master and the other illustrious _Houyhnhnms_ of whomI had so long the honour to be an humble hearer.

  _--Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem_ _Finxit_, _vanum etiam_, _mendacemque improba finget_.

  I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings whichrequire neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent, excepta good memory, or an exact journal. I know likewise, that writers oftravels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by the weight andbulk of those who come last, and therefore lie uppermost. And it ishighly probable, that such travellers, who shall hereafter visit thecountries described in this work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (ifthere be any), and adding many new discoveries of their own, justle meout of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever Iwas an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if Iwrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I cannot bealtogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I havementioned in the glorious _Houyhnhnms_, without being ashamed of his ownvices, when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing animal ofhis country? I shall say nothing of those remote nations where _Yahoos_preside; among which the least corrupted are the _Brobdingnagians_; whosewise maxims in morality and government it would be our happiness toobserve. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave thejudicious reader to his own remarks and application.

  I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet withno censurers: for what objections can be made against a writer, whorelates only plain facts, that happened in such distant countries, wherewe have not the least interest, with respect either to trade ornegotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which commonwriters of travels are often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle notthe least with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, orill-will against any man, or number of men, whatsoever. I write for thenoblest end, to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, withoutbreach of modesty, pretend to some superiority, from the advantages Ireceived by conversing so long among the most accomplished _Houyhnhnms_.I write without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word topass that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offence,even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may withjustice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless; against whom thetribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers, Reflectors, Detectors,Remarkers, will never be able to find matter for exercising theirtalents.

  I confess, it was whispered to me, "that I was bound in duty, as asubject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of stateat my first coming over; because, whatever lands are discovered by asubject belong to the crown." But I doubt whether our conquests in thecountries I treat of would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez overthe naked Americans. The _Lilliputians_, I think, are hardly worth thecharge of a fleet and army to reduce them; and I question whether itmight be prudent or safe to attempt the _Brobdingnagians_; or whether anEnglish army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island overtheir heads. The _Houyhnhnms_ indeed appear not to be so well preparedfor war, a science to which they are perfect strangers, and especiallyagainst missive weapons. However, supposing myself to be a minister ofstate, I could never give my advice for invading them. Their prudence,unanimity, unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country,would amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twentythousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army, confoundingthe ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the warriors' faces intomummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs; for they would welldeserve the character given to Augustus, _Recalcitrat undique tutus_.But, instead of proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, Irather wish they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficientnumber of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us thefirst principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit,fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The names ofall which virtues are still retained among us in most languages, and areto be met with in modern, as well as ancient authors; which I am able toassert from my own small reading.

  But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge hismajesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had conceiveda few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of princes uponthose occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a stormthey know not whither; at length a boy discovers land from the topmast;they go on shore to rob and plunder, they see a harmless people, areentertained with kindness; they give the country a new name; they takeformal possession of it for their king; they set up a rotten plank, or astone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the natives,bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample; return home, and gettheir pardon. Here commences a new dominion acquired with a title bydivine right. Ships are sent with the first opportunity; the nativesdriven out or destroyed; their princes tortured to discover their gold; afree license given to all acts of inhumanity and lust, the earth reekingwith the blood of its inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers,employed in so pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convertand civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people!

  But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the Britishnation, who may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom, care,and justice in planting colonies; their liberal endowments for theadvancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and ablepastors to propagate Christianity; their caution in stocking theirprovinces with people of sober lives and conversations from this themother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, insupplying the civil administration through all their colonies withofficers of the greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and,to crown all, by sending the most
vigilant and virtuous governors, whohave no other views than the happiness of the people over whom theypreside, and the honour of the king their master.

  But as those countries which I have described do not appear to have anydesire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out bycolonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco, I didhumbly conceive, they were by no means proper objects of our zeal, ourvalour, or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns thinkfit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall belawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries beforeme. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a disputemay arise concerning the two _Yahoos_, said to have been seen many yearsago upon a mountain in _Houyhnhnmland_.

  But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's name, itnever came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs thenstood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and self-preservation, haveput it off to a better opportunity.

  Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised againstme as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my courteous readers,and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at Redriff;to apply those excellent lessons of virtue which I learned among the_Houyhnhnms_; to instruct the _Yahoos_ of my own family, is far as Ishall find them docible animals; to behold my figure often in a glass,and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight ofa human creature; to lament the brutality to _Houyhnhnms_ in my owncountry, but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of mynoble master, his family, his friends, and the whole _Houyhnhnm_ race,whom these of ours have the honour to resemble in all their lineaments,however their intellectuals came to degenerate.

  I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at thefarthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost brevity)the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a _Yahoo_ continuingvery offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, ortobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for a man late in life toremove old habits, I am not altogether out of hopes, in some time, tosuffer a neighbour _Yahoo_ in my company, without the apprehensions I amyet under of his teeth or his claws.

  My reconcilement to the _Yahoo_ kind in general might not be sodifficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies onlywhich nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at thesight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, apolitician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, anattorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to the due courseof things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both inbody and mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all the measuresof my patience; neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such ananimal, and such a vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous_Houyhnhnms_, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a rationalcreature, have no name for this vice in their language, which has noterms to express any thing that is evil, except those whereby theydescribe the detestable qualities of their _Yahoos_, among which theywere not able to distinguish this of pride, for want of thoroughlyunderstanding human nature, as it shows itself in other countries wherethat animal presides. But I, who had more experience, could plainlyobserve some rudiments of it among the wild _Yahoos_.

  But the _Houyhnhnms_, who live under the government of reason, are nomore proud of the good qualities they possess, than I should be for notwanting a leg or an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of,although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon thissubject from the desire I have to make the society of an English _Yahoo_by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those whohave any tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to comein my sight.

  FOOTNOTES:

  {301} A stang is a pole or perch; sixteen feet and a half.

  {330} An act of parliament has been since passed by which some breachesof trust have been made capital.

  {454a} Britannia.--_Sir W. Scott_.

  {454b} London.--_Sir W. Scott_.

  {455} This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). Theabove paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another form,commencing:--"I told him that should I happen to live in a kingdom wherelots were in vogue," &c. The names Tribnia and Langdon an not mentioned,and the "close stool" and its signification do not occur.

  {514} This paragraph is not in the original editions.

  {546} The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here,though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's homein England.