Living Out Loud (The Austen Series Book 3)

by Staci Hart

  The rumors were fierce, her ejection from their social group brutal and final. It wasn’t until she graduated and started college at Columbia that she finally moved on. Two years of hell by his hand, all because she’d had the audacity to break up with him.

  And now…now, he had ahold of Annie who, in so many ways, was far more inexperienced than Sarah had ever been.

  I hopped the curb in front of our building and came to a stop, heading upstairs and out of the cold, though the ice in my bones wasn’t likely to thaw anytime soon.

  The apartment was serene. Dad was sitting on the couch, working on a puzzle with his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose and gnarled fingers holding a tiny piece in front of him for inspection. Sarah and our brother, Tim, sat at the table—Sarah studying and Tim on his laptop, probably working, considering he was still in his suit and it was tax season. He was barely up the first rung of the ladder at his accounting firm, which landed him the worst hours known to man.

  They turned to me with smiles I didn’t return.

  “Bad day, son?” Dad asked with one gray brow on the rise.

  “Coulda been better.” I propped my board in its spot next to the door and kicked off my shoes before carrying my bag to the table. I tossed it in a chair and headed to the fridge for a beer.

  Once the cool glass was against my lips, I felt better. For a second at least. I imagined Will with his arm around Annie, and my fist clenched around the bottle hard enough for my skin to creak against the glass from the pressure.

  “What’s the matter with you?” Sarah teased.

  I didn’t laugh. “I saw Will Bailey today at work.”

  She paled and stilled in one breath. “Oh?”

  “Yeah.” I took a long pull of my beer.

  “That motherfucker,” Tim sneered, which was almost comical with him in a tie and button-down.

  Sarah watched me for a second. “What did you do?”

  My jaw clenched. “I didn’t do anything. But he…he…” I shook my head. “He showed up at work with a girl on his arm—my girl on his arm.”

  Sarah’s eyes widened. “Annie? The girl you were with yesterday?”

  “The very one.” Another nod and another swig, almost finishing it.

  “That motherfucker,” Tim repeated, seemingly beyond his ability to compose complete sentences.

  “I can’t believe this. Him. I lost my chance to him,” I said, just as dumbfounded and pissed as Tim, I guessed.

  “What does that Bailey boy want with your girl?” Dad asked from the living room.

  “Give you one guess.”

  Sarah sat there, looking stunned. “Are they…dating?”

  “I don’t know what they are. Annie fainted in the park today, and he was there. He even carried her to his hired car. Can you believe that asshole?”

  “That motherfucker,” Tim said again as invisible smoke pumped out of his ears like twin tailpipes.

  Dad snickered. “Yeah, a real jerk, helping a poor girl out like that. Somebody oughta call the authorities.”

  I turned to glare at him. “I can’t believe you’d even joke about him after what he did.” I shook my head and met Sarah’s worried eyes. “It was already hard for you at that school with all those rich kids. There you were, stuck in the middle of a pond of piranhas with nothing but a boat full of holes and a busted oar to protect you. And that son of a bitch was the piranha king. He made up those rumors, ruined your reputation. And for what? Because he got dumped? All because his pride was bruised? Man, fuck that guy. Fuck him. And now he’s got Annie.”

  My stomach turned at the thought, and I tipped my beer back to drain it before getting another from the fridge. I twisted the top off with a hiss but held on to the bottle cap, squeezing it until the tin bit into my palm.

  “He hurt you, and now he’s going to hurt her too. She still believes in everyday magic, still sees the world as a safe place. Annie is completely untouched by the world and its cruelties, and if he hurts her, so help me God…” I couldn’t finish, not as angry as I was, but I was sure we were all imagining exactly what I’d do. I knew I was.

  Sarah had the strangest look on her face and opened her mouth, as if to speak. But she closed it again and shook her head.

  After a moment, she said, “You’ve got to get her away from him. What can you do?”

  I had no answer for that. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do, not now. He’s single-handedly wrecked every plan I had just by showing up at the right place at exactly the right time.”

  Tim fumed. “You can’t give up, man. You can’t let that motherfucker win.”

  “Hey, look at that—he speaks,” Dad joked, standing to make his way over to me. “He’s right, you know.”

  I took a sip, avoiding answering.

  “You shouldn’t let this girl go, not if you feel this strongly about her.”

  I ran a hand over my face and took my seat at the table, sagging against the back of the chair. “I shouldn’t even want anything to do with her. She’s only eighteen.”

  Tim made a face. “Bro.”

  “I know, I know.” I waved a hand in his direction. “And she works at the bookstore. I’m not technically her boss, but it makes things a little…complicated. And all that is on top of the fact that I can’t even be sure she’s interested in me. I mean, she told me today that all her dreams were coming true, in part because of That Motherfucker. Like, what the hell was I supposed to say? And what am I supposed to do? Tell her I hate him? Tell her he’s an asshole? Warn her off and hope she doesn’t slam the door on me for being jealous?”

  I ran a hand through my hair, plagued by the futility of it all.

  “I want her to be happy. She deserves to be happy. She deserves someone who sees her,” I said half to myself. “Someone who appreciates the rareness of her—the righteous, uncorrupt girl who wants to live every breath like it’s her last. But I don’t believe That Motherfucker is going to honor her or cherish her. He’s just going to tarnish her shine.”

  Sarah smiled, her face touched with emotion. “You should tell her that. I bet she’d dump him within three heartbeats of that speech.”

  I huffed a humorless laugh and shook my head.

  “Seriously, there has to be something you can do,” she said. “And if you can woo her yourself, then Will won’t be an issue. Take her back from him.”

  When I didn’t say anything, she leaned in eagerly. “Come on, there has to be something. What does she like? What’s she interested in? Where can you take her?”

  I thought for a second. “She’s got this list of things she’s never done, and I’ve been helping her cross stuff off of it. The other day, we were talking about a list of donut shops and I thought maybe I could take her to some.”

  Sarah lit up. “Oh, wait! Hang on!”

  She bounded out of the room while Dad, Tim, and I blinked at each other. When she trotted back in, it was with a little booklet titled NYC Donut Map. On opening it, we saw that it was a map of Manhattan with donut shops listed with a key full of details about the stores. I noted a couple, including a little shop called Lekker near the bookstore, and I wondered if we could go there during our break someday.

  Sarah hung her hands on her hips, looking proud of herself. “Take that to her and ask her if she wants to go exploring with you. That’s one date.”

  “Doesn’t she have to be into me for it to be considered a date?”

  She shook her head. “Listen, you just need to keep being there. Be her friend. She’ll come around.”

  Tim rolled his eyes. “Nobody makes it out of the friendzone, and you know it.”

  Sarah glared at him. “First, don’t crush Greg’s spirit. Second, he’s only temporarily friendzoned. Right, Greg? You said you guys were vibing yesterday.”

  Dad shook his head. “It’s almost like you’re speaking English. What the hell is vibing?”

  “You know,” Sarah answered, “when you really like somebody and you feel t
hat…zing. Like electricity. The attraction.”

  “Ah,” he said with a nod. “I’m caught up. Continue.”

  Tim and I chuckled.

  “So, what else?” Sarah asked, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm and purpose. “Do you think she might like the ballet? I mean, Rose got us tickets once. Do you think she’d do it again?”

  Tim nodded. “Bitches love the ballet, man.”

  I shook my head at him. “How the hell are you the one with the responsible, grown-up suit-and-tie job?”

  He shrugged.

  “Yeah,” I conceded. “Rose could probably get me tickets again, but I don’t know. The ballet? That’s like a fancy, serious date, isn’t it? I don’t want to scare her off. And if she’s with Will, I don’t know if she’ll even agree to go with me.”

  “Play the friend card,” Tim encouraged.

  “Oh, now being friendzoned is useful?”

  “Look, I’m just saying, use every card you can. Throw the whole deck at her. Fifty-Two Card Pickup of the heart.”

  Sarah nodded. “I’m with Tim. Take her to the ballet. You’ve got two shots to impress her, and I’m sure we can come up with more. Just start there, see how it goes.”

  I thought on it and felt something more dangerous than anything—hope. “You know, it might work.”

  Tim laughed, a big, bawdy sound, and clapped me on the upper arm. “Attaboy. Go get your girl, steal her back from That Motherfucker. And if he gets in the way, just punch him. Twice.”

  “Why twice?”

  He smirked. “Once for me.”

  12

  Practically Perfect

  Greg

  Sleep was an effective reset. I woke the next morning with a sense of renewed purpose. I had a plan in my pocket and a goal in mind: get that girl.

  My girl, I’d said last night without thinking. Because the second I’d seen Annie with Will, that was my first and only thought.

  Mine.

  It was stupid and archaic, savage even, but the instinct was deep and automatic. That single word sang unbidden from my heart at the mere thought of her with another man. Maybe it was because part of me was already hers. Any choice I had to the contrary had long since passed, if there ever had been a choice.

  That realization had at least spawned a plan, and when I pulled open the door to Wasted Words on my day off, it was with a donut map in my pocket, a smile on my face, and hope in my heart.

  I scanned the store looking for Annie, spotting her behind the register on a stool with her chin propped in her hand and her eyes on an open book on the counter, her face soft and lovely and content. With a spring in my step and my speech on a loop in my mind, I headed over to her.

  She looked up, first with the polite reception she would give a customer, a stranger, but when she saw it was me, her eyes lit up like New Year’s Eve.

  “Hey,” she said cheerily, closing her book. “I didn’t expect to see you on your day off.”

  I smiled, ignoring the squirming nerves in my stomach and that damnable fluttering hope in my chest. “I wanted to bring you something.”

  “Ooh, a surprise? I love surprises.”

  My smile tilted into a smirk. “Remember the other day when you said you’d like to get your hands on a list of donut shops?”

  She nodded, grinning.

  “Well, look what I found.” I pulled the map out of my back pocket and slid it across the counter, feeling like a king when her face shifted into sheer elation.

  “Oh my God!” She unfurled the map and pored over it. “I’m gonna gain fifty pounds and probably have a heart attack, but it’s gonna be so worth it,” she said with a giggle.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to hit a few when your shift is over.”

  When she looked up, that fluttering hope took a dive. Her face fell, her green eyes disappointed.

  “I’d love to, but Will is picking me up from work to take me out.”

  “Ah,” I said, trying to hang on to my smile and mask my own disappointment. “So, are you guys, like…dating?”

  She smiled, a bright, hopeful expression on her small face. “I don’t really know yet. But I’m sorry, can we do it another day?”

  “Sure.” My mouth felt like the inside of a shoe in the summertime. “Where’s he taking you?”

  The question almost sounded like an accusation, but Annie didn’t seem to notice, just flung herself into her explanation with a love-struck smile on her face.

  “It’s a surprise. He wouldn’t tell me anything specific, but when we were texting last night, I got the impression that it’d involve a meal at the very least. That was all I could guess though. He’s got me completely in the dark.”

  She was beaming and shining, and I consequently had no idea what else to say, my plans chucked out the window and my speech lying uselessly in the back of my mind.

  I swallowed the stone in my throat, anxious to get out of her space so I could sort through my tumbling thoughts.

  “Well, I hope you guys have fun. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow—”

  “Wait,” she said, her smile fading. “Are you okay?”

  “Sure,” I lied.

  “Because yesterday—” Her eyes darted behind me. “Will!”

  The change to her face was so complete, so crystal clear, there could be no denying her feelings. But the more painful realization was this: the way she looked at him was nothing like the way she looked at me. He was the center of the universe, and I was Pluto, spinning around in the freezing cold on the edge of the solar system.

  Annie walked around the register counter, stopping when she reached him like she wasn’t exactly sure how to greet him.

  That Motherfucker had no problem showing her.

  He stepped into her like the interloper that he was, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, the other winding around her waist as he bent to press a chaste kiss on her cheek, a cheek that flushed eagerly under his touch.

  I wondered if that was a first, something she would check off her list, and the thought made me so angry, I worried I might crawl out of my skin right there in the middle of the bookstore. My breath was shallow, chest on fire, but somehow the rest of me was a well-maintained mask of calm.

  Will glanced at me, his arm still around Annie. “Brandon,” he said in lieu of a greeting.

  “Bailey.” The bite in the word was low, but it was there all the same.

  His eyes told me he’d heard it, and he’d heard it loud and clear.

  Annie was as oblivious as ever, her eyes on his face with adoration. “Let me just go clock out and grab my things, okay?” She swung by the counter and retrieved the map, folding it back up before extending it to me. “Here, don’t forget this, Greg.”

  I waved her off. “Keep it.”

  She took the map back with her cheer fading. “All right. Thanks.” Her gaze met Will’s. “I’ll be right back.”

  He offered her a winning smile. “I’ll be right here.”

  She floated away, leaving us alone.

  Will Bailey and I stared each other down for a solid count of five before I turned to leave, unwilling to give him any more of my energy than I had to. And by energy, I meant full and unadulterated rage.

  “Do you like her?” he asked my back.

  I stopped dead and turned around slow, flattening him with a heavy glare. “Looks like she’s with you.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I don’t owe you anything, especially not an answer. You didn’t deserve my sister, and you don’t deserve Annie either.”

  “What’s your problem, Brandon?”

  My teeth ground together so hard, my jaw ached. “Don’t ask questions you know the answers to.”

  He shook his head. “It’s been a long time since Sarah, and I’m not the same guy I was. Annie’s different—I know you see it too. I’m not going to hurt her.”

  “Let me tell you something, Bailey.” My hands fisted, quieting their trembling by force. “If you do, I will end
you. Do you hear me?”

  His eyes narrowed, but he nodded once.

  “Good.” I turned, storming away with thunder at my back.

  “But don’t get in my way,” he said from behind me, bringing me to a halt. “If you think it hurts now, just remember—I can make it so much worse.”

  I didn’t acknowledge his words with a response, but they sank into my veins with an icy chill that did little to cool the fire in my chest.

  Annie was heading toward me, but I didn’t slow down.

  “Hey, Cam wanted to see you,” she said as I approached, her coat hanging over her forearms and her brow curious.

  “Thanks,” I muttered.

  I marched to the back of the store as she called Bye after me.

  Once in the back and away from them, I felt better by a small degree. I was even able to stop considering all the ways I could murder Will and the places where I could dump his body. In the office, Rose was sitting in front of her laptop across from Cam, who was kicked back in her rolling chair with her Chucks on the surface of her desk and a lollipop in her mouth.

  She smiled around it, the white stick hooked in the corner of her lips. “What’s up, man?”

  I relaxed my clamped jaw. “Nothing. You wanted to see me?”

  Her smile faded, and Rose turned to look at me. Both of them wore discerning expressions.

  “Well,” Cam started, “I was going to ask you if you could send me the bar schedule for next week, but now I’m gonna insist you tell me what’s the matter.”

  “Yes, I’ll send you the schedule, and I really don’t want to talk right now.”

  One eyebrow rose, and she nodded to a chair next to their desks with authority that brooked no argument.

  I rolled my eyes and sighed, dropping into the chair. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  Rose closed her laptop and rested her elbow on her desk. “Is this about Annie?” she asked plainly.

  “Well, she’s with that fucking douchebag!” I spouted, flinging a hand back in the direction I’d come from. “I mean, of all the guys in New York, she had to find him.”

  Cam moved her feet to the ground and reached into a jar on her desk, her hand reappearing with a purple lollipop, which she extended to me. “Here. You need this.”