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A Gnomish Solution

Page 3

by James Bailey

should fit nicely into the barrels. Of course we will need to perform a few tests first and balance out the proper amounts of powder for different distances and such.”

  “No time gnome! You lot!” Durban shouted waving an arm at the gnomes milling around near the gnomish cannon. “Head in and grab as many barrels as you can carry and start loading them! Foggle, you tell me where we should be pointing this thing so it will hit that ridge.” Grebnar, now realising what Durban intended, called some of the dwarves over to help Durban position the cannon.

  A minute later the cannon was ready to fire its frozen brew, Foggle ready at the rear, hands grasping an over sized trigger. Dwarves and gnomes were armed and ready on both sides of the cannon to hopefully finish off any stragglers the cannon missed.

  Durban stood beside Grebnar battleaxe in hand. “Got your will in order Grebnar?” Durban asked Grebnar wryly.

  Grebnar barked out a laugh. “I ain't falling to any trolls today Durban.”

  Durban replied. “I was thinking more of this cannon exploding than any trolls my friend,” Durban grinned. “I never told you how that crater appeared near the lake.”

  Grebnar looked at him sharply eyes widening. Suddenly a loud battle roar could be heard from the ridge and all eyes snapped forward. Large hairy yetis leapt over the ridge, trolls wielding spears behind them, prodding the yeti forward. Durban counted a dozen yeti with twice as many trolls following their lead. Too many for the motley crew of gnomes and dwarves to take on alone, they needed the cannon to work.

  “You ready to fire that thing Foggle!” Durban shouted

  “Ummm, yes I think so.” Foggle said with a quavering voice. “I do hope it works there are so many plans I haven't finished yet.”

  “Shut up and fire!” Durban shouted.

  Foggle closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

  A loud flash near blinded Durban, he raised his free arm to shield his eyes before a wave of hot air blasted him backwards knocking him into a tree trunk and out cold.

  * * * * *

  Durban awoke some time later. Blearily he opened his eyes, to see Foggle and Grebnar peering down at him.

  “I told you he would wake up” Foggle said to Grebnar irritably.

  Grebnar grunted in reply.

  “What happened?” Durban asked hoarsely, struggling to sit up. Looking around he realised he had been dragged into his main bar and was lying along a bench. A strong smell of beer permeated the air.

  “Well” Foggle answered “The cannon worked beautifully. Of course you wouldn't know since you were knocked unconscious by the shock of the first firing, but all barrels shot out beautifully.” Foggle's face beamed as he answered.

  Grebnar rolled his eyes and poked Foggle on the shoulder. “He doesn't care about your damn cannon Foggle.” Grebnar turned back to Durban. “The force of the first blast knocked out those standing near the cannon, some of the other boys got knocked out too. I must admit the gnome's cannon did all the work, they certainly saved us this time,” Grebnar said with a look of near regret on his face as he didn't get to use his battleaxe one more time. “Each barrel blew through half a dozen of the creatures. The wolves will be having a feast tonight with all the bits of yeti and troll down the road to chew on.”

  Durban sighed in relief. “Town is safe for another day then.”

  “Oh it is” said Foggle. “I have been going over the performance of the cannon with some of my fellow gnomes, and with a few improvements I think it could become an excellent form of defence for the town.” Foggle said still beaming. The success of one of his creations being like the birth of a child to Foggle.

  “I think we have a bigger threat than yeti now Grebnar,” Durban said to Grebnar wryly before closing his eyes and drifting back off to unconsciousness, dreaming of frozen mead and fleeing yeti.

  “What did he say?” Foggle asked Grebnar.

  Chuckling Grebnar lied to the gnome. “He said he is so glad we had your help Foggle.”

  “Oh of course he is!” Foggle said beaming, striding out of the bar and back to his home to celebrate victory.

  Grebnar still chuckling patted Durban on the head and sat down next to him with a slowly thawing flagon of ale, waiting for his friend to wake up.

  ###

 


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