Yield

by Ashling, Mickie B.

  “I find it hard to believe,” Jay admitted. “You’re so sure of your place in the world.”

  “Now I am, but it’s only thanks to Ethan. He’s been my rock.”

  “Does Ethan have a twin brother?” Jay asked jokingly.

  “I’m afraid not,” Rino said. “But it doesn’t mean you won’t find your own anchor someday.”

  “At this moment, my future seems utterly bleak.”

  “Understandable given what just happened. But you’re alive, which has to count for something. Maybe this is part of God’s plan.”

  “I wish I could believe you.”

  “We’ll work on your self-confidence while you’re at my apartment,” Rino concluded. “See you tomorrow?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  The journey across town to the apartment on Russian Hill wasn’t long, but it gave Rino enough time to start the mental shift from dental hygienist to full-time submissive. He’d been working on his technique since he and Ethan first ironed out the details of their arrangement. It had been easy in the beginning when sex had been at the forefront of their minds and the idea of spending each night together superseded everything else. Tiny differences in personalities had been overlooked, but as time flew by, the reality of living the lifestyle with a man he was getting to know on a deeper, more intimate level had begun to take its toll.

  Pride was wreaking havoc on his confidence. He knew it was his biggest fault— the overachieving side of his personality so closely linked to his ego—and a chief source of aggravation. Proficiency in his new role wouldn’t happen automatically. Despite Ethan’s assurances, there were moments when Rino wondered if he’d ever be able to respond instinctively instead of analyzing Ethan’s every command. In one way, it was like being back in the seminary, where faith and blind obedience were supposed to overcome any doubts.

  Rino had been on his own since he was separated from his mother at the age of twelve after she’d cold-bloodedly and permanently ended his stepfather’s abusive behavior. Fostered by the Dominicans in a system of rules and regulations, he was familiar with the outward trappings of submission, but as he was discovering, intellect didn’t always fall in step with good intentions. He questioned some of Ethan’s requests and would see a flicker of displeasure on his Dom’s handsome face whenever it happened. Then Rino would wonder if he was suited for a role which demanded absolute obedience. His love and respect hadn’t wavered in the slightest, but meeting Ethan’s high standards often left him drained.

  For one thing, Ethan hadn’t lied when he said he was possessive. Anything that interfered with his and Rino’s routine was viewed with suspicion. The argument over Jay’s recovery, for example, could be seen as defiance, which was the very last thing on Rino’s mind. His concern for Jay’s well-being had nothing to do with asserting his own needs and everything to do with compassion. Turning his back on a fellow human in need of rescuing was not an option. Nonetheless, he wanted to reassure Ethan, and meditating on the twenty-minute ride home helped him get into the proper mindset.

  He couldn’t remember when he’d started calling the fancy apartment on Russian Hill “home,” but he’d grown comfortable in his new digs, and the luxuries he’d viewed as decadent in the beginning were now so much a part of his life he couldn’t imagine going back to his austere apartment for even one night. But he would gladly do it to get to the bottom of Jay’s current dilemma and send the priest back to his parish, where he belonged. A momentary slip was no reason to give up a vocation if, in fact, this was a one-time thing. But if Jay’s physical needs were a chronic problem, then he’d have to face the demon head-on and leave the religious life behind. There were no easy answers, but having someone to confide in, who understood the system and the difficulties involved, would make it easier to cope. Speaking from experience, Rino would have welcomed any kind of support when he was floundering.

  He started to strip the moment they crossed over the threshold. When Ethan first broached the subject of complete nudity while at home, Rino had been shocked. Justifying his request had taken all of Ethan’s powers of persuasion. It was a form of training, he’d explained, and another way of chasing his scrupulous streak away. Shedding his clothes would leave the outside world behind and force Rino to focus entirely on his role as Ethan’s submissive. Indulging his physical needs was a healthy way of purging antiquated feelings regarding something as natural as sex. Knowing how much pleasure Ethan derived from this ultimate sign of submission silenced the nagging voice in Rino’s head. Soon this became a nonissue, erased by the contented sigh escaping from Ethan’s throat whenever he gazed upon his naked boy.

  Tonight was no different. The heat flaring in Ethan’s eyes as Rino stripped was as comforting to him as a caress. The first part of their evening involved some form of sexual release before they moved on to the nightly task of preparing dinner. Ethan was in a pensive mood though, and Rino decided a little pampering would go a long way to ease his Dom’s jealous streak.

  He knelt at Ethan’s feet with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth. An astonished eyebrow lift followed by a smile of approval and a soft touch on the cheek solidified his decision. Ethan removed his Gucci loafers and watched intently as Rino peeled off the expensive silk socks, a guilty pleasure of Ethan’s, along with his designer ties and handmade suits. The man enjoyed the finer things in life and made no bones about it. Rino soaped and dried Ethan’s feet before beginning a leisurely session of reflexology. Ethan spent countless hours on his feet, and a good foot massage, with particular attention paid to strategic pressure points, was an ideal way to ease his tension and one his Dom particularly enjoyed.

  “God, you make me feel so good,” Ethan said approvingly. “Every time you do this for me, I feel like the luckiest man in the world.”

  Rino looked up and smiled. “It works both ways, Eth. I get off on your pleasure.”

  “Sorry about earlier,” Ethan said. “I know you’re only being your usual caring self.”

  “It disturbs me to see someone with so much potential falling into such a dark place. I think I can help Jay, but not until he trusts me enough to share what’s troubling him.”

  “He must feel some level of comfort since he asked for you to come bail him out.”

  “More likely, he was desperate and couldn’t bring himself to call his superiors.”

  “Jay’s first instinct was to reach out to you—a sure sign of trust. Do you think he’ll leave the order?”

  “There’s no telling,” Rino admitted, “but the worst part for me personally was not knowing how to proceed. I remember the torment of indecision far more than the actual separation.”

  “It must be hell to have such a rigid conscience.”

  Rino lifted his face and regarded Ethan’s statement. “We would live in chaos if people didn’t stop to weigh the consequences of their actions.”

  Ethan snorted. “I’m not advocating he rush out and sleep with the entire Castro District, but there’s got to be some middle ground between abstinence and seeking the comfort of human touch. Your church is archaic when it comes to sex.”

  “I don’t disagree; I’m simply stating facts. It’s better to have some sort of boundary, be it conscience or simple human decency. One can’t be ruled by desire.”

  “The poor guy will be better off once he leaves the church.”

  “Abandoning one’s vocation isn’t always the right answer, Ethan.”

  “It was for you, thank God.”

  Rino’s gaze drifted back down to Ethan’s feet. He poured a little more lotion on his hands and rubbed the rich blend of aloe and cooling mint between Ethan’s toes and on his arches, heels, and ankles. Ethan sighed in appreciation and Rino couldn’t help grinning. He loved it whenever he guessed right with regards to his Dom’s needs. Yes, leaving the religious life behind had been the right choice for him, and he’d do it all over again, knowing Ethan would end up by his side. Being in a loving relationship somehow justified excommun
ication.

  He slipped past the cuffs of the gabardine pants and ran his hands up Ethan’s calves, kneading and stroking the strong muscles. He loved the feel of the springy curls covering the long legs, so different from his own hairless limbs.

  “Can you ditch the clothes?” Rino asked.

  Ethan unzipped, lifted his hips, and pushed down his boxers and trousers. Rino tugged them off the rest of the way and tossed them over his shoulders. Under normal circumstances, he would have folded the pants at the seams and hung them in the closet or tucked them into the laundry bag for tomorrow’s pickup, but there was an urgency tonight, which made him ignore the routine so he could get to the good part. He zeroed his attention in on Ethan’s beautiful cock, which lay thick and ready against his stomach, beading with clear drops of fluid. Rino reached up and ran his fingers along the shaft, tracing the dark curls covering the first few inches before giving way to silky, smooth flesh. He leaned forward and licked the bulbous head, his lips parting and his tongue teasing the slit the way Ethan liked. He loved the familiar taste of Ethan’s arousal almost as much as hearing his growls of pleasure.

  “Don’t stop,” Ethan said, urging him on. “You’re so good at this, sugar.”

  Ethan’s cock slipped into Rino’s throat, blocking his breathing and forcing him to take in air through his nose. When he didn’t protest, Ethan pushed a little farther, fucking his mouth in earnest.

  Drops of Rino’s precum hit the hardwood floor in shiny drops, and he swirled a finger into the tiny puddle and used it on himself to lube up for his next move. Pulling off Ethan, who hissed in protest, he straddled him and sank down gingerly. Ethan lifted his knees slightly while clutching Rino’s hips to give him more support. The burning sensation knocked the breath out of him and he buried his face against Ethan’s neck.

  “Give me a second.”

  They’d stopped using protection a while back, but this freedom came with a price. Nature wasn’t quite as accommodating as pre-lubed condoms, and the momentary discomfort was a painful reminder to be better prepared the next time.

  “Sorry, sugar. Take all the time you want. I can stay buried in you all night.”

  Rino pulled away from Ethan’s neck and gazed into the deep blue eyes looking up at him with an appreciative smile. When the sting transformed into an urgent tingle, he rode Ethan’s cock with growing enthusiasm. Rino cried out when Ethan nudged his prostate.

  “Stop or I’ll come,” Rino protested loudly.

  “Isn’t it part of the plan?”

  “You first,” Rino said.

  Ethan’s breathing turned ragged, and Rino could see drops of sweat rolling down from Ethan’s hairline, but the man was determined to get him off, jacking him in time with their rocking. They came within seconds of each other, relishing the sweet moment when their hearts were joined and nothing else mattered but the here and now.

  “I love you, sugar,” Ethan said, following up the declaration with a possessive bite on Rino’s shoulder.

  He moaned in response, then felt a warm rush of happiness as the declaration infused him with a sense of well-being. Ethan’s love for him was all-encompassing, and Rino murmured me too as he relaxed against the larger man and closed his eyes.

  When he woke up, he was underneath a soft duvet made of the finest Egyptian cotton. Ethan’s aftercare had included wiping him down with a warm washcloth while he was out of it. In a sense, their relationship was not the standard D/s relationship but more a partnership between two loving men. Ethan would never expect Rino to perform any services for him he couldn’t reciprocate. It wasn’t his style.

  He turned his head to discover Ethan sleeping peacefully beside him. They’d missed dinner completely, but Rino wasn’t hungry. He scooted closer to the warm body and sighed with satisfaction when Ethan automatically curled into him. Even in sleep, he was cherished, and Rino thanked his guardian angel like he did each night before drifting off. He’d been one of the lucky ones, unlike Jay, and prayed he’d have the wherewithal to pay his good karma forward.

  Chapter 5

  Sometime before dawn Ethan awoke with a start. His heart was hammering dangerously, as if he’d just run a marathon. Before dropping off earlier, he’d left the slider open a crack to let in the cool breeze. A boat horn blared, announcing its arrival or departure from San Francisco Bay and an emergency vehicle emitted squawks and sirens, all a part of city living and normally white noise. Ethan, like most doctors, could fall asleep on command, anywhere, anytime, standing, sitting, or lying down. The environment didn’t need to be perfect, only the time constraints. His body clock nudged him when it was time to open his eyes, and this current awakening was unscheduled. Whatever had wrenched him out of sleep had been powerful enough to set his pulse racing, and an unfamiliar feeling of dread hovered on the periphery.

  His beautiful submissive continued to sleep peacefully, exhaling soft puffs of air. Ethan stared at his boy. They’d met years ago and lost touch for over two decades, but a chance meeting had sparked what would become a conflagration. Both of them were educated and methodical, more accustomed to planning their lives than jumping before looking, but logic had no place in their reunion, and passion propelled them into a dynamic neither had anticipated. The most surprising part was how easily it had flowed from the start. Ethan had never been more content, and he was certain Rino was finally at peace with his decision to leave the Dominican Order behind. Could this be the reason Ethan was sleepless tonight? Would Rino have to defend his role in Ethan’s life to someone who didn’t have a clue what BDSM even stood for?

  The possibility of subjecting Rino to any sort of criticism by the confused priest for even one night bothered the fuck out of him. Ethan would have been less resistant if they were within earshot, so he could interject when opinions veered off into dangerous territory, but it would mean inviting a stranger into his home and Ethan was having none of that. As soon as he acknowledged the reason for his unease, he calmed down. Assuming a night apart would make a difference in Rino’s mindset was wrong. They’d discussed religion ad nauseam, vanilla relationships versus the spicier more interesting alternative, and Ethan was certain Rino had reconciled his physical and emotional needs with his overzealous conscience. The likelihood of anyone putting new ideas into his head was ludicrous. Ethan had to give his sub more credit, and voicing his concerns would be insulting; yet…the control freak in him had to do something to make sure Rino was in the right frame of mind before leaving.

  He pulled open a drawer in his nightstand and took out the new butt plug. He’d been saving the remote-controlled sex toy for a special occasion, and asking Rino to wear it while they were apart would be a constant reminder of his submissive role. Any hateful comments arising during a midnight confessional would be trumped by the pleasure Rino would get from having his prostate overly sensitized by the device.

  He took it out of the box and went to the bathroom to wash it before charging the motor intended to provide hours of vibration on five different speeds. The only downside to the fancy silicon plug was his inability to manipulate it from a distance. However, thanks to Steve Jobs—who would have never guessed how he’d revolutionized sex—and FaceTime, Ethan would take great pleasure from watching Rino stammer and turn a zillion shades of pink while he activated the gizmo in the privacy of his bathroom. Shyness notwithstanding, Rino loved sex and pleasing Ethan even more. He’d never refused any requests, nor had he resorted to using his safeword. Ethan was confident his wishes would be carried out to the letter without a problem.

  It was close to five by the time Ethan returned to bed to grab another hour of sleep. The next time he woke up was much more pleasant. Silky black hair was tickling his inner thighs, and the contented slurping sounds brought a smile to his face. He blinked away the last of his slumber and moaned softly so Rino was aware he’d joined the party.

  “Nice wake-up call,” he said huskily.

  Rino looked up at him and smiled sweetly. “Please roll over.�
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  Surprised, Ethan considered the request. Even though he loved being rimmed—craved it in fact—he seldom gave in. It was a stupid control thing, and he knew this boundary had no place in their current lives. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Rino, especially when he asked so nicely.

  He flipped onto his stomach, and Rino slid up his body, massaging his back and shoulders with the aromatic concoction he’d already poured on his hands. He kneaded the tight muscles by Ethan’s neck with an expert touch and spread out on Ethan’s back, now slippery with oil, while whispering endearments into Ethan’s ear. He could smell Rino’s minty breath as he thanked him for giving in to his request. Ethan huffed in response, pleased to be acknowledged but keenly aware he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet. Soon his boy was scattering barely-there kisses across his shoulders and leaving a trail of rippling goose bumps in his wake. Rino continued his path down Ethan’s spine, making sucking marks at each knobby ridge until he got to the swell of Ethan’s ass. Rino stopped to swirl in and out of the divot seemingly placed for his own amusement before he got down to the serious business of licking Ethan’s crack.

  Ethan lifted unconsciously, clearly enjoying this but unable to say the words. He wasn’t the one who begged and made needy, whining noises. The most Ethan allowed himself was the occasional grunt from a pleasure so intense it needed a voice. Rino parted his ass cheeks and stuck his tongue into the tight furl. Ethan shuddered and pushed back, relishing the sensation as Rino poked in and out of him. He squirmed against the mattress, seeking more friction and silently begging to be fucked. Ethan wanted to say it out loud, to give in to the need, to forgo his misgivings at this complete lack of control, but he held back. He wasn’t sure if it had to do with disappointing Rino who viewed Ethan’s reluctance to bottom as a Dom thing or his own reticence. One of these days, he’d probably cave, but not today.

  “Don’t clench,” Rino said softly as Ethan’s strong muscles squeezed the invading tongue away. “Relax and enjoy.”