Under the Christmas Star

by Amanda Tru

  “You? Are you kidding?” He sounded so cheerful. “You’re ten minutes early.”

  “Well.” She started for the short hallway that led to the bedrooms. “I’ll carry Ty, if you wouldn’t mind getting Charlie.”

  “Why wake them up?” He glanced up from whatever he was doing. “They’re fine. We can just let them stay here overnight and I’ll get them to school in the morning.”

  She stopped, letting his offer sink in. Could she actually trust him to do that? “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “No. In fact, I’m enjoying spending the extra time with them.”

  Joy felt like she should pinch herself. As she stood there, not quite knowing how to respond, Mike came back into the living room carrying a couple of steaming mugs.

  “Why don’t you sit down and have a cup of tea before you go?”

  When had he ever made her tea? Not even when she was sick had he so much as made the offer.

  The scent of peppermint drew her from her confused stupor. She nodded, then sat on the sofa as he set the mugs down. “Thanks.”

  Absentmindedly dipping the bag up and down, she studied the room again. Something else was different. The framed pictures of Mike with Cyndi—or as she was better known to Joy and her friends, the Other Woman—that Joy suspected Cyndi had strategically placed around the apartment to make her presence felt, seemed to be missing.

  “You know,” she said cautiously, “when I said I didn’t want Cyndi to be around when the kids were here, I didn’t mean you had to destroy all evidence of her existence.”

  “I’m…uh…” He glanced down, his cheerful expression dulling ever so slightly. “…not seeing her anymore.”

  “What?” Her head jerked back so fast she felt her teeth rattle. “Why? What happened?”

  Mike blew out a breath. “I just looked at her one day and realized what a huge mistake I had made. I saw what I had given up, and for what?” His gaze swept the room. “No reason. It was so selfish of me.”

  Joy wasn’t about to argue that particular point. “That’s very insightful of you.”

  “Well, my counselor has really been helping me see the light.”

  She stared, wondering if she might have misheard him. “Did you say ‘counselor’?”

  “I know. I know. You tried to get me to go with you, and I always had an excuse. But sometimes when you hit rock bottom, you see things differently.”

  Rock bottom? Had she actually been right about him? Or was this just an act to get back into her good graces so they could start this painful cycle all over again?

  Mike’s voice pulled her from her thoughts, and she realized he had continued to fill her in on his experience with the counselor.

  “He’s helped me to see that I need to do more. For the kids. I want to be a real dad to them.”

  “But…how, exactly?”

  “You know. Go over to your place in the evenings to help them with their homework. Be there for the important things. Like the tree decorating. That felt good.”

  As he went on, Joy’s mind boarded a roller coaster ride of confusion. What did this really mean, and how was she supposed to take it?

  “He is so manipulative!”

  Entering her bedroom, Joy shifted the phone to protect her ear from Victoria’s near-scream. She should have known better than to hope that Victoria might be willing to give Mike the benefit of the doubt.

  “He says he wants to be a better dad.” Joy took her pajamas off their hook by the door and tossed them onto the bed. “How do we know he doesn’t mean it?”

  “I’m sure he thinks he means it. But he’s a classic narcissist. Even if he’s saying the right things, he’s really only thinking about himself.”

  “But wouldn’t his counselor see that?”

  “Joy.” Victoria’s voice turned scolding. “Haven’t you read any of those books I recommended? Narcissists are experts at fooling people. Even some counselors if they don’t know the signs to look for.”

  “I don’t know—”

  “Think about it. He was doing just fine with Cyndi until he saw you with Kyle. Then suddenly he dumps her, and he’s seeing a counselor. Doesn’t the timing of all of that seem suspicious to you?”

  “This isn’t about me. It’s about the kids.” Letting out a sigh, Joy lowered herself onto the bed. “And I told you. There’s nothing going on between Kyle and me.”

  “So you say. But that doesn’t mean that your territorial ex-husband isn’t going to get his own ideas.”

  “Maybe. But if that were the case, wouldn’t he be saying he wants to get back together? He didn’t say anything about that.”

  “I think he’s easing into that.” The annoyance in Victoria’s voice thickened. “You finally found a good guy, and I don’t want to see you get lured back.”

  “I’m not going to be lured. But I do have to think of the kids. If he wants to spend more time with them—”

  “Don’t you remember how hard it was for us having Dad act the way he did? And Mike is just the same. Think about how hard it will be for the kids if Mike starts making bigger promises to them. Remember, the bigger the promise, the bigger the letdown when he doesn’t follow through.”

  Joy rubbed her temples. The painful memories of the two of them as kids watching out the front window of their house waiting for their dad to show up had been seared onto her soul. So much so that it almost felt weirdly soothing whenever Mike did the same thing.

  “Oh, Vic.” She plunked herself down on the bed. “I don’t want my kids to have to deal with that kind of disappointment. What am I supposed to do to protect them?”

  “I don’t know.” Victoria’s tone softened. “But I’ll tell you one thing. Only God knows what’s going on in someone’s heart. We can’t ever know for sure, but He already knows how this is going to play out.”

  “He does?”

  “Sure. He knows everything.”

  “I need to think about this. Sorry to be all dramatic the week before your wedding.”

  “Hey, it’s okay. Honestly, things are going so smoothly with the wedding, I’d be nervous if we didn’t have drama brewing somewhere.”

  Leaning against her pillows, Joy chuckled. She looked at her journal which, as always, led to thoughts of Kyle. He was so different from Mike.

  Then a thought struck her. She didn’t know what she should do, but God did. All she needed to do was ask.

  Suddenly, the journaling made sense. Prayer wasn’t just talking to the sky. It was communicating with God.

  She picked up her pen. “Thanks, Vic. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She grabbed her journal and sat back against her pillow. She didn’t know what to do, but now she knew who to ask. Then figure out how to recognize the answer.

  The next day at work, Joy found herself singing along to “O Come, All Ye Faithful” as she watered the plants in the waiting area. Thanks to Becky’s transformation of the office into a Christmas wonderland, Joy was actually feeling the joy of the season.

  That feeling also might have had something to do with the time she’d spent journaling the night before. She’d written for almost an hour, directing it toward God for the first time. When she’d woken up that morning, she felt like she had a clear direction. Her job was to protect her kids. She wasn’t going to let Mike move back into their lives as if nothing had happened. He had some work to do if he wanted to demonstrate a genuine change of heart that would earn him more leeway. That would take time.

  As for Joy, she wasn’t about to waste that time. She needed to live her life. And right now, that meant attending her sister’s wedding with Kyle and letting herself have some fun for a change.

  But there was something else. Something that had taken her by surprise as she was writing, intimating to God the deepest desires of her heart. She wanted to start dating. Not later, but now. And not just anyone. Her true desire was to spend time with Kyle.

  Now, she felt more peaceful than she had in ages. Was that how God was
answering her prayer about Kyle?

  The thought warmed her, bringing a goofy grin to her face as she tilted the watering can over one of the poinsettias on the coffee table. When he had brought Henry in for his follow-up appointment just a little bit ago, she had gotten the distinct impression that he was looking forward to their date on Saturday just as much as she was.

  The whoosh of the door from the back yanked her from her thoughts, and she turned to see a very enthusiastic Henry at the end of a leash held by Kyle.

  The little tingle of anticipation in her stomach that Joy always seemed to feel when he was around finally felt welcome instead of inconvenient. “Well, how did it go?”

  “The doctor gave him a clean bill of health.” Kyle reached into the jar on the coffee table to get a biscuit for Henry, then into the bowl next to it for a homemade caramel. “Along with a strongly-worded lecture about staying out of the trash.”

  “That’s good advice, Henry.” Joy watched the dog as he swallowed the biscuit whole. “You should listen to the doctor.”

  “I’m probably the one who deserved the lecture.” Kyle unwrapped his caramel. “But I did get a new can with a secure lid.” He popped the caramel into his mouth, like his own good-boy reward.

  “See.” She poured the last of the water into the potted ficus next to the front door that Becky had draped with colorful lights. “You are a good puppy parent.”

  He smiled at that, catching her eye in that maybe-flirtatious way that sent her stomach into another round of tingling.

  Then, coughing a little as he swallowed the caramel, he broke their mutual gaze and looked up at the clock. “I need to get going. I have to drop Henry at home and then meet with my contractor before five.” Lifting a wave, he opened the door. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”

  “See you Saturday.” Feeling a little giddy, she added, “Don’t forget to wear your dancing shoes.”

  She watched through the glass door as Kyle led Henry across the small parking lot to his red SUV.

  Chuckling to herself, she clutched the watering can with both hands and pivoted to return to her desk. She only took one step before stopping short, startled at the sight of Becky standing by the door to the back looking at her strangely.

  Not quite sure how to interpret the expression on Becky’s face, Joy just smiled and walked past her to get to the area behind the counter. She bent down to put the watering can away in one of the lower cabinets. When she straightened, Becky was still standing there, her face unchanged.

  “Beck?” She approached her slowly, wondering now if there had been bad news about one of their patients. “Is everything okay?”

  “Fine.” Becky shook her head, like she’d just been jolted out of a trance. She moved past Joy to get to her part of the desk and sat down.

  “Okay.” Joy sat too, then began sorting the stack of patient input forms that had been accumulating on her side of the desk all afternoon.

  “So…” Becky brought up their appointment schedule on her computer screen like she was checking to see how many more patients they had scheduled for the day, something that Joy knew she already knew. “Saturday is your sister’s wedding.”

  “That’s right.” Joy’s hands stilled. Was that what this was about? Becky had overheard her talking with Kyle about Saturday? There was no point in trying to keep it a secret. Besides, Becky would be happy for her.

  “I might be changing my mind about not dating.” Chewing her lip in a feeble attempt to stop a dumb grin, Joy swiveled her chair to face her. “I asked Kyle to go to the wedding with me.”

  With the exception of one eyebrow that assumed a barely-perceptible quiver, Becky’s expression went completely neutral. Then she looked away, the color draining from her face.

  Joy frowned. That was not the supportive response she had expected. Not by a long shot.

  “Becky…” Confused, she tried to read her friend’s response but couldn’t. “Is something wrong?”

  “Oh…nothing.” Seeming distracted, Becky’s focus shifted like she needed to find something else to busy herself with. “It’s nothing.”

  Joy let out a breath. Becky was never very good at pretending that everything was hunky dory if something was bothering her, which something clearly was.

  She tried to get her to look at her. “Don’t you think that’s good? I mean, you were a big fan of me starting to date again not all that long ago.”

  “Oh, sure.” Becky’s mouth formed a smile, but her forehead remained creased. “It’s great, sweetie.” Her eyes darted away, like she didn’t want Joy to read her thoughts in them.

  “Becky.” Joy leaned on the desk in another attempt to make eye contact. “What are you not telling me?”

  Letting out a long breath, Becky stopped her fidgeting and finally really looked at her. “It’s just that…” Her eyebrows scrunched so close together that they practically met in the middle of her face. Then just as quickly, her face returned to normal and she waved a dismissive hand. “Maybe his situation has changed.”

  “What situation? Becky. What are you talking about?”

  Becky looked at her with regret in her eyes. “It’s just that I had the impression that he was…involved.”

  “Involved?” A hot flush scorched Joy’s cheeks. “What do you mean?”

  Becky gnawed at her lower lip for a long moment, then stood and crossed back to the files. She ran her finger down one of the rows, then took one out and returned to the desk. She set the folder down in front of Joy and laid it open.

  Joy looked at it, confused. It was Kyle’s file. “So?”

  “See here.” Becky retook her seat, pointing at the top of the paper that had been filled out by hand. “When Kyle first came in, he listed two owners on Henry’s paperwork.”

  “What?” Joy read. Kyle Montgomery and Nicole Brenner. Nicole Brenner? Who was she? “Has this woman ever come in?”

  “No. I mean, Henry’s only been here just the one time before his foil mishap. Since Kyle wrote down the two names with only one address, I just assumed that she was his significant other.”

  Joy sat there for a moment, reeling like that time she got kicked in the head by Josie Wilson’s pet bunny. He couldn’t be involved with someone…could he?

  Or were all men just liars and cheaters and—what was the word that Victoria was so fond of throwing around? Narcissists.

  “I might be wrong.” Becky tried to smile, but a quiver in her voice betrayed her. “I mean, it was just an assumption.” She smiled, then frowned. “Except that…”

  “What?”

  “I remember now that when I called the number on this form on Monday to confirm today’s appointment, this woman, Nicole, answered. And…”

  “What?”

  “Well, it’s just that she said something about her adjusting to being a puppy parent, or something like that. I remember because I thought it was cute the way she said it.”

  A ‘puppy parent.’ She looked at the file. He would have said something if he was involved with someone else. Wouldn’t he? When they danced together, it had been…romantic. There was no denying it. If he was involved with someone else, that made him…not such a nice guy after all.

  Joy didn’t want to believe it. The sense of betrayal that had been her constant companion through everything she’d endured with Mike reared its ugly head.

  She had to find out the truth, but how? Asking a man if you could trust him was like asking a prisoner if he was guilty. A liar wouldn’t admit to being a liar.

  She looked down at the file, noting his address. If she wanted to know the truth, she’d have to find out for herself.

  Joy had a date to meet Victoria and her future mother-in-law, along with their own mom at Hannah’s House of Nails at seven for manicures. That gave her just enough time to do a little detective work.

  She parked across from a lovely old brick and stone apartment building on Queen Anne Hill that, according to her GPS, was her destination. A wide grassy median do
tted with gorgeous madrona trees separated the two lanes of traffic on this street, but she could see well enough to know that this looked exactly like where she would have expected Kyle to live.

  Her throat tightened at the thought. Maybe he wasn’t at all the person she thought she was getting to know. For all she knew, it was this Nicole who had the penchant for historical charm.

  He had said something about meeting his contractor before five, and it was a quarter after now. The absence of his distinctive red SUV in the lot adjacent to the building didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t home, but it increased the likelihood of it.

  Exactly what did she hope to accomplish here? She could be bold and go inside. Knock on the door to apartment…she consulted her quickly-scribbled Post-it note. Apartment 7F, and see who answered.

  Then what? She already knew that this Nicole person shared Kyle’s address. Seeing her there wouldn’t prove what their relationship actually was. She could just be a roommate—which didn’t seem like a good idea, but who was she to judge? Or maybe a cousin? A sister? It was possible. Unlikely, but possible.

  Of course, Joy could just call him and ask. But she had learned from bitter experience that when you had to gauge if someone was lying, you needed to be able to see their face. It was far too easy for people to lie over the phone, and much more difficult to do it in person.

  Her stomach tensed. It was also much harder to confront someone in person.

  Running her fingers down her cheeks, she gazed at the lovely twinkle-lit trees shimmering in the front courtyard of the apartment building as the afternoon slipped into evening. She had been so certain that God had answered her prayer by giving her peace about Kyle, but maybe she didn’t understand how this whole prayer thing worked. Was He somehow giving her peace so she’d make a fool of herself, just to drive the lesson home that no man she’d be attracted to could be trusted?

  That too-familiar tightness in her throat that always followed a hopeless thought like that hit her, and she reached for her key in the ignition. She needed to just get out of there before she turned into a pathetic sobbing mess. Just as she moved to start the engine, a movement drew her attention to the parking lot next to the building. Kyle’s SUV!