The Best Day of My Life

by Lynda Throsby

  The next thing I know, Sonia is walking into my office. She looks tired and worried. I haven’t moved. I’m still crying, but with my head resting on my desk. How long has it been? I look at my phone — it’s been twenty-five minutes since I spoke to Sonia. Why hasn’t Aggie been in? Shit, I bet people passed my window and saw the state of me. Those that were around ten years ago would have seen me like this then. I was a shell of a man.

  I go into my private bathroom and splash cold water on my face. I need to pull myself together. I have to for the Evs. I walk out with Sonia and mumble to Aggie to cancel any appointments I have for the rest of the day.

  We are at the hospital twenty minutes later, waiting for Doctor Cassidy. She comes out and motions for us to come into her office. She starts talking to us, but I switch off as the words tumor, cancer, kidney, surgery, chemo, rare and something to do with Wilma come from her lips. I haven’t taken anything in that the doc has been saying. Those words are swimming around in my head. Sonia has tissues in her hand, sniffling, but she is talking to the doctor. I think she is asking the questions I should have been asking.

  “Who’s Wilma and what does she have to do with my daughter?” I blurt out. It comes from nowhere. I just want to know who Wilma is. Of all the questions to ask when a Doctor is telling you your ten-year-old daughter has a tumor.

  “I don’t know, Mr. Tourney? Who is Wilma?”

  “You said something about Wilma, you tell me. Who the fuck is she?” She doesn’t even look shocked at my language, and I’ve shocked myself. She furrows her brow trying to think before it suddenly dawns on her what she’s said.

  “No, Mr. Tourney, not Wilma. It’s Wilms’ tumor. That is what Evelina has got. It’s a rare cancer of the kidney. It usually affects younger children of around three years old, but it can affect older children and, in fact, adults. Although it’s rare, it is the most common kidney cancer in children.”

  “What, are we having a popularity cancer contest now? I don’t care how rare, or common or what fucking age she should be. All I want to know is will she …” I’m choked. I can’t say the word. The tears are flying down my face now. I grab a tissue from the box on the table.

  “It depends on the stage, Mr. Tourney. We need to do a biopsy tomorrow to see where we are at with it. Do you want me to run through the information about the stages with you now? I know you’re in shock. I will answer any questions you have.” I nod my head for her to tell me.

  “I can’t give you more information until I know the stage the cancer is at. Stage one is the best outcome we can hope for. Stage one means it’s contained in one kidney and we can remove it and administer chemo. Stage two and the tumor has spread into the tissue of the kidney and the vessels. We can still remove the kidney, but she will need a more intense course of chemo. Stage three means the tumor can’t be completely removed with surgery because it’s spread to the abdomen and will need longer intense chemo and radiation therapy. Stage four …”

  “Doc, please stop. I can’t take all this in. What’s the first step from now?”

  “We have scheduled for you to bring Evelina in tomorrow and we will sedate her to take a biopsy. We will send that to the lab and have the results back the same day. The stage of the tumor will determine the next step.” I can hear Sonia sniffling at the side of me. I grab her hand and squeeze. She squeezes back.

  “What do I tell Evelina?” How can I tell my baby girl she’s really poorly?

  “She’s a very intelligent little girl, Mr. Tourney. When I said she was brave yesterday, I meant it. I’ve seen older children go into meltdown from needles. She barely flinched. I think you should sit them both down and tell them she is very poorly and she will need an operation to make her better. I’m 99% sure she will be having chemo. You need to explain to her she will be having medicine that will make her feel more poorly than she is, but it will make her better eventually. It’s imperative you tell Evander at the same time. Twins have a connection, as I’m sure your aware of, and when one is really poorly, in my experience, the other one also suffers. If you tell them both what’s happening together, I believe it will alleviate a lot of his suffering.”

  “Thank you, Doctor. Really, I mean it. I’m sorry for swearing. It’s not personal.”

  “Please, Mr. Tourney, there is no need to apologize. It’s shock. It makes us do unusual things. You and Mrs. Westcott need to go and talk about this before the children finish school. You need to get over the shock, putting it bluntly, you need to pull yourselves together and show your little girl how confident you are that she will get better. You cannot fall to pieces around her. She needs her daddy to be strong and in control, now more than ever in her life. You cannot show her you are worried in any way. If she feels it coming from either of you, it could affect her recovery. It’s hard for any parent to have a sick child and not lose control because it’s out of your control, but be strong for her, Mr. Tourney, Mrs. Westcott.” I nod at her and wipe my face. She’s right. I know she is, and I will be so strong for my baby girl, but first I need to go home and break down.

  “I’ve scheduled the biopsy for 9.30 a.m. tomorrow, that way we will know the stage by early afternoon. I have also scheduled surgery for her the following day because I am 99% sure we will be removing her kidney. The oncologist has checked the ultrasound and has said it doesn’t look like the tumor is all that big. If it turns out it is too big or has spread, she won’t be having surgery for a while. We will have to start the chemo and radiation to shrink it first, but we will cross that bridge tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Doctor —” Sonia looks at me as she says this, looking for permission to ask what I couldn’t. I nod very slightly.

  “In your opinion and with what you know of this tumor, without knowing more, what are her chances of survival?” The doctor looks at Sonia then at me

  “These are the facts, not a diagnosis. You could do the research yourselves, so I can tell you that the chances of survival at stage one are 99%, at stage two it’s 98%, and stage three is 90%. They are very high. I’m not going into stage four or five now until we know tomorrow because it’s very rare that Wilms’ Tumors are found after stage three or above. It’s fingers, toes, and everything crossed. I will see you in the morning. Here’s my card and if you have any questions at all, no matter what time, give me a call.”

  Sonia drives us home slowly, the last hour has been a blur, and we break down together as soon as we get to my house, but manage to pull ourselves together in time for the school bus dropping the Evs home.

  They both come barreling in through the door, pushing and shoving each other with not a care in the world. I have to shatter their world very soon. But first, it’s playtime.

  “Dad!” Evelina shouts. “What are you doing home this early?” She runs to me, leaping into my arms hugging me.

  “Well, I thought I would come home for when you finished school so we could go hang out in the pool for a bit. It’s a hot day, and I need cooling down. What do you think?”

  “Yay, come on Vander, last one in the pool is a stinky poo.” She runs off to get changed. I don’t worry about them in or near the pool. They are both excellent swimmers and have even got their lifesaver badges. I hear her running around, shouting to Evander to hurry up. He hasn’t gone up the stairs yet. He’s been watching me.

  “What’s up, son? Don’t you want to go in the pool?” He doesn’t say anything, just turns and runs up the stairs. My kids are too intelligent for their own good sometimes. He knows there is something wrong. He’s like me. He weighs up situations and works them over in his mind. Unlike Evelina — because she’s a little spitfire whirlwind. Very intelligent but barrels right in without thinking things through. I suppose them having two nerdy parents makes them super smart.

  Ten minutes later, I’m the last in the pool, so I’m the stinky poo, who just so happens to get dunked all the time and splashed and climbed on like I’m a tree. I don’t care. This right here is what I live for after losing
Evelyn. This right here is my life with these two super little humans that were born from the love of Evelyn and me. I have no choice but to cherish them. They are precious.

  I’ve got to get Evelina through this next stage of her life. I look up at the sky, silently asking Evelyn to guide her through this. To protect her. To make sure she makes it through what life is throwing her way right now.

  I get dunked again by both of them, letting my guard down while asking Evelyn for help.

  17 and a half years ago

  ARNOLD INSISTS ON us having a corporate lawyer when we meet with Bulldog gaming. Once he found out it was one of the biggest game giants in the world that was interested in us, he did some research on payments for games and royalties and has realized Evelyn and I could be onto a winner. It’s a good job we have the lawyer because Bulldog comes straight at us with a contract.

  I think they were hoping that we were two naive kids who would sign anything for what we would consider a lot of money. I was a little annoyed they didn’t pre-warn us. We were left by Bulldog to read over the contract with our lawyer.

  “Bulldog want to buy your game from you for $500,000 and no royalties. They also want the rights to buy any other games you create, even if not related to this first game. As your lawyer, I am advising you to reject this offer and make a counteroffer. If they have already drawn up the contract, with no warning to you that they were going to, then they know your game will be a top seller. You two have the power here. You can ask for a substantial upfront payment with a further advance if sales reach a certain point and also royalties. You two have done everything on this game. It’s your idea, graphics, music — everything. They have already beta tested it, so they know it’s a great investment and when they are onto a winner. We can counter offer. If they don’t accept, we go to another company. If Bulldog wants you that bad, then I’m sure Sony or Nintendo will too.” I’m gawking at him. Did he say five hundred thousand? That’s two hundred and fifty thousand each. I could buy Grandma a brand new house in a great neighborhood with that money. Oh my god. I would have just signed away if our lawyer hadn’t been here. That’s a huge amount of money for two kids in college.

  “Evelyn, can you believe this? What do you think, baby?”

  “I think we do what John is suggesting. What about you, Theon?”

  “I agree with whatever you want to do. I trust you, baby.” I bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss it. I’ve got the biggest smile on my face.

  “Here’s what I think the counter offer should be. You want $750,000 up front. Then, if they reach a sales target of $3.5million in the next 12 months, you want a further payment of $1million with royalties after that of 15% of sales for life, on all pc and console platforms. They don’t have any rights to any follow-up or other games. You shouldn’t be tied to them for life. You will take this one game at a time with negotiations for each game. How does that sound?”

  I’m speechless. This could make me a millionaire, and they don’t know about the follow-up game yet. Holy fuckeroo. I start laughing hysterically. Evelyn squeezes my hand and brings it to her mouth and kisses it. She nods at me, and I nod at her. We’re happy with his suggestion. Who wouldn’t be?

  “Don’t get too excited, the contracts aren’t signed yet,” John says.

  We walk out of the Bulldog offices with more money than I ever thought imaginable. They agreed to our counter offer, no hesitation and they didn’t counter offer. I grab Evelyn and lift her up, twirling us around. She’s laughing at my giddiness.

  “Oh my God, baby. Can you believe what just happened in there? It doesn’t feel real, but they said we would have the money this afternoon. I don’t even have a bank account, baby. I need to open one. I need to get home and tell Grandma to start looking for a house.” I carry on twirling her then lower her so her face is level with mine and I kiss her hard, right in the car park of the Bulldog offices.

  “That’s what you’re going to do with your money, Theon? Buy a house for your grandma?” I scrunch my brow up. Of course it is. Doesn’t she think I should?

  “Without a doubt, baby. I will spend it all on a lovely new house in a nice neighborhood and with everything brand new inside. It’s the least I can do for her. I will spend every cent on her if that’s what it takes. Why? Don’t you think I should?”

  “Oh, Theon, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. The minute they mentioned big money I knew straight away what you would do. You have a heart of gold. It’s why I love you so damn much. Other people would buy flash cars, or designer clothes and jewelry before anything else. But not you. Not my Theon. I love you with all my heart. Come on, let’s ask John to drop us off at your grandma’s so we can tell her. I can’t wait to see her face light up.”

  Once we tell Bulldog we have a follow-up game, they ask if they can see it. I have it on my laptop, so I show their team, and they want to buy that one as well, even before the first one is released. John negotiates a $1 million advance. We then get a further $2 million in twelve months and then $2 million twelve months after that for the second game plus we get 17.5% royalties an all platforms on all worldwide distribution, and that’s on both games sales after twelve months. So we get over the course of two years a minimum of $5 million plus royalties and to show some loyalty we will let them have first dibs on any other games we develop. Holy fucking hell. I’m a millionaire — well soon, there will be $2.5 million coming my way.

  We finish college, both getting top honors in our degree. We both decide we don’t need to study anymore, we know what we are doing and how to do it, and Evelyn’s parents and my grandma agree. I buy Grandma a lovely, brand new, three bedroomed ranch-style house in a quiet, clean neighborhood. I have enough money to fully furnish it and buy her a small car so she doesn’t have to walk everywhere or take the bus, all non-negotiable as she puts up a fight telling me to save my money. I tell her she doesn’t have to work three jobs anymore, she can quit them all if she wants, but she insists she will stay at one. I do buy myself a Harley Davidson with the bit of money I have left until our next advance comes through in a couple of months. I’m going to be a self-made millionaire, and I’m not even nineteen yet. The game becomes a number one top seller. It’s the fastest selling game of all time, taking in more sales in the first week than any other.

  Evelyn and I decide to start looking for offices to set up our business when the next advance comes through. We find the perfect place.

  Present

  ONCE THE TWINS are ready for bed, I make them their hot chocolate with marshmallows as usual. We do this every night after their showers, and we talk until they finish. It’s usually bedtime by then with Evelina talking our socks off.

  I’m dreading today’s conversation over hot chocolate. I don’t want either of them upset. I sit on the stool at the breakfast island just staring into space thinking about how to tell them — I’m miles away. I don’t even hear my little whirlwind come running in with her Monsters High dolls in tow and her stuffed turtle and stitch teddy she sleeps with — she loves that little alien and turtle — and Evander following close behind her.

  “I need to tell you both something. I need you to sit here and listen to what I’m saying. It’s very important. Can’t you do that, poppet?” I know Evander can with no problem; it’s my tornado of a daughter that will struggle. She nods at me, putting her dolls to one side but cuddling Stitch. I pull her stool closer to me so I can put my arm around her and she snuggles into me. I take a deep breath.

  “Dr. Cassidy phoned me today. You remember she said she would have your results back from your blood test and your ultrasound?” I feel her nodding her head. I’m looking at Evander. He knows there is something wrong. I can see his face turning to a pained expression. I nod at him.

  “It turns out you are poorly inside, poppet. You know we have organs in our body that help us live?”

  “Yes, like our heart pumps blood around our body and our lungs help us breathe,” she says all proud and clever.
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  “Yes, that’s right. It turns out one of your organs is poorly.”

  “Oh, which one, Daddy? Is it my heart?”

  “No, poppet. It’s your kidney. Can you remember what your kidneys do?” She shakes her head no.

  “You have two kidneys, and they help to clean your blood and the water in your body. They help take out any bad bits. One of your kidneys is poorly, so Dr. Cassidy needs you back at the hospital in the morning.”

  “I can’t go in the morning, silly dad. It’s school. We’ll have to go after school. I don’t want to get into trouble.” I have to smile at her. I nod at Evander again, silently asking if he’s okay, and he nods back.

  “I will phone school in the morning, don’t you worry about that. I will tell them you won’t be in, probably for a few days. You won’t get into trouble. I pinky promise you.” We link our smallest fingers.

  “In the morning, Dr. Cassidy is going to give you a special air through a mask over your mouth to make you sleep, and then while you are asleep, she needs to do a little cut so she can see into your kidney a bit better. You won’t feel a thing, but it might be a little bit sore afterward. Do you think you are brave enough for that, poppet?”

  “I am, Dad, yes of course, but I’m also a little bit scared. You pinky promise I won’t feel anything while I’m asleep?” We link fingers again.

  “I pinky promise, poppet. ”

  “What happens after that, Dad?” Evander asks me.

  “Well, they take a little bit of the kidney and send it to the science doctors to look at. They have to see it and then decide how to go about making Evelina better. Dr. Cassidy says that Evelina will probably have to have her poorly kidney taken out of her body.” She gasps.

  “But what will clean my blood and water. Will I have dirty blood and water?” She looks upset.